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Paul A.

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12/29/2022

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 19 pushups, 19 sit-ups, and 19 squats, followed by 5 mins of meditation. I didn't go for a run this morning because I wanted to let my body recover. I'll go for a run tomorrow.

What I could’ve done better: My whole foods nutritional protocol fell apart today. I spent about $20 on fast food because I was hungry and didn't bring enough food from home to work. I don't think the protocol would've worked long-term, anyway. I just felt so deprived. It was as if I could no longer eat for enjoyment, and that I had to eat strictly for sustenance. I should've taken these feelings as a warning sign that the diet was bound to fall apart. Anyway, I'm gonna do some research and formulate a nutritional plan that's more sustainable for me.

Thoughts/realizations: I'm still reveling in the process of building habits, although the habits themselves are becoming more taxing. I think this slow and steady approach will enable me to make a habit out of pretty much anything I want. I started primarily with exercise and meditation, but I may build other beneficial habits later down the line. As much as I enjoyed The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I think Atomic Habits resonated with me more. It was just what I needed to get on track with building better routines. I think it's been more practical in my life. And because of Atomic Habits, I've fallen in love with building better habits. I want to continually apply the lessons I learned from that book in my life moving forward.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: N/A

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12/30/2022

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 20 pushups, 20 sit-ups, and 20 squats, followed by 5 mins of meditation. I attempted to run for 10 minutes, but I stopped 6 minutes in. I think 6-7 minutes is my limit for now. I'll shoot for 7 minutes starting next week, followed by 8 the next, and so on and so forth.

What I could’ve done better: I changed my nutritional plan from whole foods to vegetarian. While I didn't eat any meat today, my choice of food wasn't the best. Maybe because I've been feeling so deprived lately, but I spent a good deal on fast food today. I also went and bought some candy, which has no nutritional value whatsoever. I'm going to try and get my food choices under control while still eating in a sustainable way.

Thoughts/realizations: I just dropped my classes for the semester. I realized I don't really want to devote 6+ years to getting a degree I'm not quite passionate about anymore. I'm going to explore my options in terms of higher education and career choice. I know I don't want to sell furniture forever. Problem is, I don't really know what I want to do instead. I know that I like habits, and I'm excited about martial arts. But how viable are those interests to a lucrative career? Not very. That being said, I still have time to figure out what I want to do, so I'm not exactly in a rush. I'm sure it'll come to me in time.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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On 12/29/2022 at 1:45 AM, Paul A. said:

I attempted another 11 minute run, but could only run for about 7 minutes. My neighbor advised me not to run every day, and I think he's right. My legs are still sore from the previous days of running, so I need to let my body recover.

How do you run? I think if you run at full speed/power every day, your legs are bound to be sore. I think if you run 2 kilometers in 12 minutes, it's a pretty relaxed pace, comparable to just walking fast. Maybe if your legs are too sore to run, you can just go for a walk instead 🙂

4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

But how viable are those interests to a lucrative career? Not very. That being said, I still have time to figure out what I want to do, so I'm not exactly in a rush. I'm sure it'll come to me in time.

I have one student who currently does marketing for one big hospital company, but who told me he is going to quit it. What he wants to do in the future is to learn some IT/programming or stay in the medical field, but not as a marketer. Personally, I started teaching English, because it came from my skill-set. But I actually had no idea whether the area had a good earnings potential at the beginning.

Is there something you are better at than most people? Or do you not mind doing something most people find difficult/annoying?

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On 12/31/2022 at 2:36 AM, Ikar said:

How do you run?

I run at a very relaxed pace, I guess you could call it light jogging. I guess my legs are sore because my body isn’t accustomed to the physical activity yet, even at that level of intensity. I’ve been sedentary for quite a while now.

On 12/31/2022 at 2:36 AM, Ikar said:

Is there something you are better at than most people? Or do you not mind doing something most people find difficult/annoying?

I’d have to think about that… the one area I always excelled in was school, but ever since about the age of 16 I’ve been unable to tolerate a school environment…

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12/31/2022

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 21 pushups, 21 sit-ups, and 21 squats, followed by 5 minutes of meditation.

What I could’ve done better: I reverted to my old way of eating, which is fairly unhealthy. I initially tried to do a vegetarian diet, but that didn't even last 2 days. I think it's going to take me a while to figure out a nutritional plan that works best for me.

Thoughts/realizations: A lot has happened for me this year. I learned a lot, and I also made a lot of mistakes. A lot has changed, but a lot is also the same. Reflecting on 2022, I think it's been a year of self-discovery. I learned a lot about myself this year. From the fact that I like building habits, to even exploring my sexuality, I've discovered a lot about myself that I didn't know before. All in all, it's been a necessary year. By necessary, I mean it was necessary for my personal growth. I want 2023 to be a year of evolution. I want to level up in my health, my finances, my habits, and my career. I want to make positive strides in every aspect of my life. I know it won't necessarily be easy, and I may even get off track from time to time. But, this community has played a big role in my development this year. I'll be sure to refer to this entry from time to time to remind me of my goals for the new year. Happy New Years, everyone!

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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1/1/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 22 pushups, 22 sit-ups, and 22 squats, followed by 5 minutes of meditation. I'll attempt a 7 minute run in addition tomorrow.

What I could’ve done better: I didn't eat well today. I reverted to my old way of eating yesterday, which is just a bunch of processed junk. I'm still in the process of trying to determine a nutritional plan that doesn't leave me feeling deprived. Naturally, this is going to take some time.

Thoughts/realizations: Happy New Year, everyone! As the New Year begins, I'm looking to incorporate another new habit into my day: freestyle rapping. As some of you know, I dabble in making music, particularly rap music. My coworker inspired me to want to get back into making music again. Only issue is, I no longer enjoy writing lyrics as much as I did. Therefore, I figured my alternative was to learn how to improvise lyrics on the spot, which is the essence of freestyle rapping. I purchased a course for $67 that will supposedly improve my freestyling skills, so for the next two weeks, I'll be working my way through the course. Once I complete it, I'll devote 3-4 minutes a day to practicing my freestyling (which is the length of a typical hip-hop beat). This is in line with my habit building methodology of starting small and gradually increasing the duration/intensity of the activity. I don't have much of a natural aptitude for freestyling, which is why I felt the need to purchase a course to learn how to improve. Either way, this is an endeavor I'm excited to dive into. I'm looking forward to improving my skills over the next two weeks, and to practicing daily afterward.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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1/2/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 23 pushups, 23 sit-ups, and 23 squats, followed by 5 mins of meditation. I also completed a 7 minute run this morning. I'll run again on Wednesday.

What I could’ve done better: Didn't eat well today. I had fast food for lunch and ice cream later in the evening. I may just stop writing about my diet and nutrition altogether until I get it sorted out. I don't see it changing any time soon, at least until I can figure out a way to enjoy the food I eat while still eating healthily.

Thoughts/realizations: When you enjoy doing something, you'll spend a lot of time doing it, and you're likely going to be able to stick with it long term. This is probably an obvious statement to everyone, but I didn't realize how important it was until today. Prior to yesterday, I didn't much care for freestyle rapping. However, I learned the secret to freestyle rapping is to come up with rhyming words ahead of time. With that little piece of knowledge, my enjoyment of freestyling increased tenfold. I spent a lot of time over the past 24 hours putting together lists of words that rhyme, and practicing my freestyling. I'm having a lot of fun with it. And precisely because I'm enjoying myself so much, I think I'll be able to stick with freestyle rapping for a long time. I don't want to be the greatest freestyle rapper on the planet, but I want to feel competent at it. I'm sure that with my newfound enjoyment, I'll be able to work my way towards competence.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

Edited by Paul A.
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1/3/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 24 pushups, 24 crunches (I replaced the sit-ups) and 24 squats, followed by 5 mins of meditation. The exercise is slowly becoming more difficult; my arms were burning during the pushups, and my abs burned after the crunches. As such, the mental strain has also increased, but not so much that I can't finish the workout.

What I could’ve done better: I struggled to find things to do today. I caught up with Bleach a few days ago so I started watching Yu Yu Hakusho to pass time. But there was a stretch of time where I didn't feel like watching anime, and I was super bored during that stretch. Anime has always been a favorite pastime of mine, but I can't let it be my only source of entertainment. It's precisely because of those moments where I can't or don't want to watch anime that I need to find other activities to fill time.

Thoughts/realizations: My first martial arts class is tomorrow. I'm excited for it, but not as excited as I was when I first came up with the idea. I have a bad habit of getting overly excited for some new activity, and then quickly losing interest shortly after getting started. I don't think that's been the case with martial arts, however. The stretch of time between deciding I wanted to do martial arts and the date of my first class gave me enough time to "cool off", so to speak, but I'm still fairly excited to get started. I just hope I can maintain this excitement long-term. I really do want to excel at martial arts, but I hope that zeal doesn't cause me to overdo it and burn out. I plan to pace myself with my daily practice in the same way I paced myself with my DPV: starting small, and slowly building my way up. That way, I can slowly but steadily make progress and improve, which will only fuel my excitement and motivation. The most important reason to pace myself, though, is to avoid burning out. Burnout has killed my interest for a lot of activities in the past, such as computer programming and fitness. But I'm glad I was able to read Atomic Habits, because it equipped me with a strategy to avoid burnout: starting small.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day; attend first martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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On 12/29/2022 at 2:45 AM, Paul A. said:

12/28/2022

What I did well today: My neighbor advised me not to run every day ....
I was able to eat only whole foods for another day.

What I could’ve done better: I don't think there was much I could've done better today. I was off work, so I spent the day relaxing and watching Bleach.

Thoughts/realizations: I think I need to spend more time thinking about the future. I say this mainly because I'm at a loss for what I should pursue as a career. I thought I wanted to be a therapist, but I've lost interest in that as of late. I've considered cybersecurity, but I haven't looked into it enough. Either way, I don't have all the time in the world to be considering my options. I'm at the age where people are getting ready to finish up school and start their careers. Meanwhile, I haven't made any progress towards a degree. I know I don't want to sell furniture for the rest of my life. But I'm not sure what I want to pursue. I'll start seriously considering and researching potential career paths in the coming days.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Execute on my DPV every day

Within a month: Attend first martial arts class

Within 6 months: N/A

More than 6 months: N/A

Well, you could run every day but if it's easy runs, if it's tempo, definitely have days in between them. Also shoes have a high impact on these pains, for example, I have discovered that I need an orthopedic shoe bottom, which cost me about 600$ but it alleviated much of the pains.
Also, your shoes themselves get torn down and lose shape and need replacing from time to time.

For me, when I was running 9 miles every two days, I used to replace my specific long distance running shoes which were supposed to be very resistant at most every 3 months. 

Plus don't forget the dynamic warmup before your run and the stretching afterwards.

I think you could always do better, but granted, you're doing awesome progress so it seems!
Remind my how old are you that you say you don't have the time to consider what you want?

Remember the life goals you have defined in the 7 habits. It might be of great help

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2 hours ago, Paul A. said:

1/3/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 24 pushups, 24 crunches (I replaced the sit-ups) and 24 squats, followed by 5 mins of meditation. The exercise is slowly becoming more difficult; my arms were burning during the pushups, and my abs burned after the crunches. As such, the mental strain has also increased, but not so much that I can't finish the workout.

What I could’ve done better: I struggled to find things to do today. I caught up with Bleach a few days ago so I started watching Yu Yu Hakusho to pass time. But there was a stretch of time where I didn't feel like watching anime, and I was super bored during that stretch. Anime has always been a favorite pastime of mine, but I can't let it be my only source of entertainment. It's precisely because of those moments where I can't or don't want to watch anime that I need to find other activities to fill time.

Thoughts/realizations: My first martial arts class is tomorrow. I'm excited for it, but not as excited as I was when I first came up with the idea. I have a bad habit of getting overly excited for some new activity, and then quickly losing interest shortly after getting started. I don't think that's been the case with martial arts, however. The stretch of time between deciding I wanted to do martial arts and the date of my first class gave me enough time to "cool off", so to speak, but I'm still fairly excited to get started. I just hope I can maintain this excitement long-term. I really do want to excel at martial arts, but I hope that zeal doesn't cause me to overdo it and burn out. I plan to pace myself with my daily practice in the same way I paced myself with my DPV: starting small, and slowly building my way up. That way, I can slowly but steadily make progress and improve, which will only fuel my excitement and motivation. The most important reason to pace myself, though, is to avoid burning out. Burnout has killed my interest for a lot of activities in the past, such as computer programming and fitness. But I'm glad I was able to read Atomic Habits, because it equipped me with a strategy to avoid burnout: starting small.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Complete my DPV every day; attend first martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

Good luck on your first martial arts class.
For a nutritional plan I suggest Cronometer, I always use it when I want to change up my eating routine. But you'll have to buy a weightscale for your foods probably for it

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On 1/3/2023 at 11:15 PM, Yan said:

Remind my how old are you that you say you don't have the time to consider what you want?

I’m 20 turning 21 this year, what I meant is that I’m getting older and I don’t necessarily have an infinite amount of time to choose a career path… because at the moment I’m really struggling to simply DECIDE what it is I want to do.

 

On 1/3/2023 at 11:15 PM, Yan said:

Also shoes have a high impact on these pains, for example, I have discovered that I need an orthopedic shoe bottom, which cost me about 600$ but it alleviated much of the pains.

This is good confirmation for me, a few people have told me to invest in some good running shoes because the shoes I run in now aren’t providing adequate support. Thanks for the heads up

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16 hours ago, Paul A. said:

 I’m really struggling to simply DECIDE what it is I want to do...

Well, share your thoughts with us perhaps, maybe it will clear your mind a bit (If you haven't already), I didn't read all the posts ;D

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1/4/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 25 pushups, 25 crunches, and 25 squats. I wasn't able to meditate today, nor did I complete my run. I stopped running about a minute in, likely because of the mental strain of running. I'll likely have to dial back the amount of time I'm running to compensate for this.

What I could’ve done better: I relapsed today (more on that in the next section). I failed to find adequate replacement activities, and it resulted in me making a new Roblox account and playing for several hours today. I've already installed a website blocker on my browser to restrict my access to Roblox.

Thoughts/realizations: This far into my detox, I didn't even believe relapse was on the horizon. I'd been going strong without any major cravings for so long, I thought I'd pretty much overcome my gaming problem. Clearly, that wasn't the case. I haven't yet come across an adequate combination of activities to keep myself engaged outside of video games. I thought anime would be good enough, but it doesn't hold my attention like it needs to. That means I'll have to take finding activities a lot more seriously. I'm giving reading (fiction specifically) a shot, and hoping it can at least fill some, if not most, of my time. Other than that, I need to invest more time and energy into finding entertaining and engaging replacement activities.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within 1 week: Attend next martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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1/5/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 26 pushups, 26 crunches, and 26 squats, followed by 5 minutes of meditation. I also did a brief kung fu practice session, practicing what I learned from my first class yesterday. My personal practice session lasted all of 5 minutes, but it's a start. The more I learn, the longer I intend to practice.

What I could’ve done better: I gamed a bit today, for about 10 minutes. I realized that the gaming itself isn't the problem, but it's rather the amount of time I spend doing it. If I could learn to cut down on the amount of time I spent playing, I could probably have a pretty healthy gaming habit. I also remembered the reason I wanted to quit in the first place: the games are more frustrating than they are fun. I'm not very good at the game I play, and naturally that results in me losing quite a bit. Call me a sore loser, but I don't take losing very well. That's more or less what prompts me to put the game down after a while, but some time passes and I end up missing the game again. I don't want to go through the process of deleting my account yet again, so I'm gonna try and moderate my gaming this time around, down to 1-2 hours a day. Plus, I play this particular game with a good friend of mine who lives in another state, which is more reason for me not to try and leave it behind completely.

Thoughts/realizations: I found a fun replacement activity in the form of chess. Chess is itself a game, which is why I think I'm enjoying it so much. But it's more strategic than anything, which is prompting me to think in new and different ways. Even at work, I was playing mobile chess with my coworkers (traffic was slow, so don't be alarmed lol). I'm eager to learn more about the game and to improve at it. Chess was the one activity I was looking for that could take up a majority of my free time, the same way gaming did. That's not to say chess is the only thing I plan to do. I've compiled a list of other activities I can try out, most of which I can do online. Other than that, I'm glad I was able to find a few activities to fill time with, and in such a short period of time, too.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within a week: Attend next martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

1/5/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV. 26 pushups, 26 crunches, and 26 squats, followed by 5 minutes of meditation. I also did a brief kung fu practice session, practicing what I learned from my first class yesterday. My personal practice session lasted all of 5 minutes, but it's a start. The more I learn, the longer I intend to practice.

What I could’ve done better: I gamed a bit today, for about 10 minutes. I realized that the gaming itself isn't the problem, but it's rather the amount of time I spend doing it. If I could learn to cut down on the amount of time I spent playing, I could probably have a pretty healthy gaming habit. I also remembered the reason I wanted to quit in the first place: the games are more frustrating than they are fun. I'm not very good at the game I play, and naturally that results in me losing quite a bit. Call me a sore loser, but I don't take losing very well. That's more or less what prompts me to put the game down after a while, but some time passes and I end up missing the game again. I don't want to go through the process of deleting my account yet again, so I'm gonna try and moderate my gaming this time around, down to 1-2 hours a day. Plus, I play this particular game with a good friend of mine who lives in another state, which is more reason for me not to try and leave it behind completely.

Thoughts/realizations: I found a fun replacement activity in the form of chess. Chess is itself a game, which is why I think I'm enjoying it so much. But it's more strategic than anything, which is prompting me to think in new and different ways. Even at work, I was playing mobile chess with my coworkers (traffic was slow, so don't be alarmed lol). I'm eager to learn more about the game and to improve at it. Chess was the one activity I was looking for that could take up a majority of my free time, the same way gaming did. That's not to say chess is the only thing I plan to do. I've compiled a list of other activities I can try out, most of which I can do online. Other than that, I'm glad I was able to find a few activities to fill time with, and in such a short period of time, too.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within a week: Attend next martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

Wooooowwww, hold your horses...  How long have you gone without games 'till now? In my opinion until you haven't been clean for at least 90 days, you couldn't say that your decision to game is logical. Especially after the fact that today you said you "fell" to it. It was not planned in advance.

I suggest you give your "weak side" in your mind a punch and get back on the horse, those are all justifications after the fact, not clear thinking.

I repeat, until you have been clean for the amount of days you set yourself (better 90) and planned a few days in advance that gaming is what you want to do and set a timeframe for it, and then withstood this timeframe, I do not believe it's a rational decision which fits with your values.  Rather just moments of weakness.
You have now done it two days in a row, don't let it turn back into a habit. It would be difficult to stop gaming and start the detox again, but if you postpone it ,it will be harder. Think about it...
@Irishrican950 What do you guys think about it? @Ikar
I'm raising a red flag here.
 

d-man-holding-red-flag-hands-concept-white-isolated-background-rendering-front-angle-view-186749044.jpg

Edited by Yan
Adding an image, correcting grammar, tagging the guys.
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1 hour ago, Yan said:

Wooooowwww, hold your horses...  How long have you gone without games 'till now? In my opinion until you haven't been clean for at least 90 days, you couldn't say that your decision to game is logical. Especially after the fact that today you said you "fell" to it. It was not planned in advance.

I suggest you give your "weak side" in your mind a punch and get back on the horse, those are all justifications after the fact, not clear thinking.

I repeat, until you have been clean for the amount of days you set yourself (better 90) and planned a few days in advance that gaming is what you want to do and set a timeframe for it, and then withstood this timeframe, I do not believe it's a rational decision which fits with your values.  Rather just moments of weakness.
You have now done it two days in a row, don't let it turn back into a habit. It would be difficult to stop gaming and start the detox again, but if you postpone it ,it will be harder. Think about it...
@Irishrican950 What do you guys think about it? @Ikar
I'm raising a red flag here.

@Paul A.

There are times when I think about the games I played before I quit. I've even played a few simple/limited games since I have quit gaming; I did some online chess exercises and Cashflow board-game, however I lost interest in the first and blocked the second. It's just not worth going there again.

That said, we can only really quit games after our lives stop revolving around staying away from games. "Normal" people don't write in their diaries that they played or didn't. We do and we focus on it.

I'm currently struggling with porn. It feels like a much smaller issue than gaming, but I still haven't gotten over it. Even if I spend like 15 times less time a week than I did on gaming, it's still there and I don't feel in control when I do it.

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Even if I don't fully back Ikar and Yan in their 90 day mark argument I too would advice you to at least take 3-5 days to process, think about and ask friends family, non-gamers and even a health professional if possible for their opinion on the matter.

It is true that having a friend with you can help you regulate a bit your game habits but if you switch between multiple of them in the same day or they are into games as much as you used to be you could end up relapsing completely and failing the moderation goal, so keep that in mind.

It is also true that chess in itself can have some more benefits and be more social than most games, in my opinion keep doing chess if you want but keep a close watch on how much time you spend with it and what your end goals + benefits you recibe from them are. If it helps you be more social, the benefits you get from it are worth the time you spend on it and you can set and respect boundaries with it (EG you know when to play it or not, + it doesn't mentally consume/occupy you) then by all means keep playing it, it can be a great social and stimulant activity.

As an overall summary I would advice you to at least take some time off to consider your situation and ask yourself and other "non-gamers" (family friends...) non gamers things like.

Have you done this kind of moderation with friends before? how did it go? Is spending 1-2h + x amount of chess hours per day something you want to do long term? Would it result in a life that seems attractive/good to you? Would it leave enough time for other activities that you also like? Are you ok with the amount of time you would dedicate to work / entertainment / socializing / relax? Are there any benefits for it? Would you like the kind of life/ day to day that have with the games included? What are the benefits, negatives and risks of games in general and for you? Are you the one talking or is it the deeply entrenched game habits/cravings...  Take some time off, think about it thoroughly and then choose what actions to take to guaranty a better final result for you be that what it may be.

Hope it goes well Paul, you have already done great when it comes to consistency with the increase in sport and the diaries, now take your time and decide how you want to continue with this process. Best of luck to you! 

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I changed the password on my Roblox account to a randomly generated one and logged out. Now there's a bit of friction in place to prevent me from easily accessing my account.

Thanks @Yan, @Ikar, and @Faroe Islander for your input. I appreciate you guys for reading my journal and for providing your input where necessary.

On 1/6/2023 at 3:03 AM, Yan said:

I repeat, until you have been clean for the amount of days you set yourself (better 90) and planned a few days in advance that gaming is what you want to do and set a timeframe for it, and then withstood this timeframe, I do not believe it's a rational decision which fits with your values.  Rather just moments of weakness.

You're absolutely right. I did give in to gaming in a moment of weakness. What happens most of the time is that I go without the game for a month or two, but I end up getting back into it due to boredom, or nostalgia, or whatever the case may be. I saw a video clip of the game and I started to miss playing it this time around. But these past few days of gaming helped me realize why I wanted to quit in the first place. Thanks for pushing me in the right direction.

On 1/6/2023 at 6:02 AM, Ikar said:

That said, we can only really quit games after our lives stop revolving around staying away from games. "Normal" people don't write in their diaries that they played or didn't. We do and we focus on it.

That's a great point. Even if our efforts are focused on staying away from the games, we're still indirectly focused on the game, in a sense. The game (or avoidance of it) still controls our thoughts and actions.

On 1/6/2023 at 11:08 AM, Faroe Islander said:

As an overall summary I would advice you to at least take some time off to consider your situation and ask yourself and other "non-gamers" (family friends...) non gamers things like.

Good advice, and thanks for the thoughtful questions! To answer them all in one fell swoop, no, I don't think gaming, even in moderation, would be in line with my values and with who I want to be in the future. 

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18 hours ago, Paul A. said:

I gamed a bit today, for about 10 minutes. I realized that the gaming itself isn't the problem, but it's rather the amount of time I spend doing it. If I could learn to cut down on the amount of time I spent playing, I could probably have a pretty healthy gaming habit.

I had the same thoughts a few times while being here. Every single time I miserably failed. The addiction is inability to moderate. I’ve been reading journals here for a couple of years now, and I found out that most of successful quitters are saying the same things. And I think that the first and the most important one is something like “quit cold turkey, don’t try to moderate”. Matt had a long post somewhere, where he said that he never seen a single person on this forum, who successfully played in moderation for a long period of time. It could be a day, a week, a month or even two, but people are slipping back to binge gaming. To be fair, I’ve seen one successful case. It’s Pochatok.
 

But I think that’s the special one, because he said he was playing for only 1-2 hours a day before coming here, and it was already concerning him. So my guess is that he’s more focused on general discipline/lifestyle/mindset thing, rather than getting rid of gaming. When I was playing, 1-2 hours was barely a warmup, so in my perspective I can’t call him a video gaming addict in the first place. But he’s done a couple of detoxes before he started playing, I think both of them were 180+ days. And even now he plays only a very limited range of indie games for like 10 minutes a day. There are weeks where he doesn’t play at all. And he has planned to slowly reintroduce gaming, it didn’t happen like “well, fuck it, I guess I’m just gonna play in moderation now”.

What I’m trying to say is that there are certain patterns people fall for. Everyone knows them, but still fall for them. There are very few exceptions, that just confirm the rule. If you think you can neglect the rule, think twice.

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1/6/2023

What I did well today: I completed another day of my DPV, but at a lesser quantity of each exercise. I did 20 pushups, 20 crunches, and 20 squats, followed by 5 minutes of meditation. I didn't run today, likely because I was in a hurry to game. I'm going to try walking before I run to see if that lessens the mental strain of it.

What I could’ve done better: I spent maybe half an hour or so gaming. I realized why I wanted to quit gaming to begin with, so I promptly changed my password and logged out. I'll have to go through the trouble of resetting my password if I decide I want to play again, which I don't for now.

Thoughts/realizations: There's a lot on my mind today. First and foremost, I need a better approach to quitting games. I haven't been able to complete a full 90 days yet. Whenever I quit, I find some activities to replace gaming, but they don't stick or they're not effective enough to fully fill the void gaming leaves behind. After a while, I end up feeling nostalgic and I miss playing the game, and the cycle begins anew. I'm really going to take finding replacement activities a lot more seriously this time. Second, I want to get a new job. I work in a high-touch sales job, where the expectation is that if you greet a customer, you're entitled to that sale (if they do decide to purchase). However, I find myself in a store where certain people are inclined to steal my customers, even though I greeted them. It's happened more times than I can count at this point, and I'm tired of dealing with it. I lost motivation for the job itself long ago, and this customer stealing situation is one more reason why I don't want to stick around. I'm gonna start searching for other jobs in the meantime. My parents are also looking into an IT certification for me, which seems promising. Between the work situation and my gaming the past few days, I've been dealing with some mental and emotional exhaustion. Not to mention, it's been difficult to get out of bed in the morning for the past week or so. It may be because I'm dreading my DPV in the mornings, but I've been waking up quite late the past several mornings, around 10-11AM. It's pretty strange and I may consult with my physician about it when I go in to see him on Monday the 9th. But that about wraps up my thoughts for today.

Plans for the future + timeframe for achievement:

Within a week: Attend next martial arts class

Within a month: Visit a nutritionist

Within 6 months: Successfully create and maintain a sustainable nutritional plan

More than 6 months: Change careers

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Little by little Paul, we are here for the long run you can manage it we are almost there, it will get better as time goes on to wake up and do the exercise, specially when the increases aren't as relatively big / the consistency with witch they are increased gets lower.

You got this hope the you can get your appointment with the nutritionist and switch careers soon.

Take care  

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, I fell off the wagon for a while.

After my last post, I began a period of gaming almost incessantly for about 2 weeks, during which I missed work and messed up my sleep schedule pretty bad. I was able to get away with it by brushing it off as my mental health acting up, but in reality it was just a lack of self-control. I know now that gaming in moderation isn’t possible for me. It isn’t all bad, though. After I got sick of gaming, I rediscovered my passion for making music, and I’ve been working on some new tracks for about a week now. I’m really trying to polish my mixing skills, and I’ve devoted a lot of time and even a bit of money to learning from mentors and fellow mix engineers. I’m having a blast doing it, way more fun than I had gaming.

I figured I would just post a quick update since I’ve been MIA for some time. I don’t intend to be as active as I used to be on the forum, but I’ll still drop in every now and then. Hopefully you all are doing well!

Edited by Paul A.
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