Martinof 49 Posted June 8 Share Posted June 8 Hi, new diary for me, since I'm not done with this. I'm not as addicted as before, but I still play almost every day while the games are really not interesting, and I don't like this (I went from several hours a day to ~1h a day). I lost so much because of video games and procrastination in general (I lost my girlfriend, and we have a child), I'm sad and angry when I think about it. So here I go again, I have uninstalled my video games tonight : 0/90 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 9 Author Share Posted June 9 Hi, little success : 1/90 I worked out, did more than 30min of spanish. Still hard to go to bed early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 11 Author Share Posted June 11 Hi, little success : 2/90 (June 10) It feels like a week, but no, it's been only 2 days lol. Same as the day before, I'm proud to have worked out, and to have done some spanish (+30min). Unfortunately, I missed a meal (fruits) because I was too tired (I slept on my chair around midnight during a few hours before brushing my teeth and going to bed). I skipped the shower too :s I really need to go to bed earlier, I don't even get 6h of sleep during the week (Monday -> Friday) Today I received some bad news, I won't be able to see my daughter as often as before during the week (4 evenings -> 1-2 evenings), so I'm not happy. I don't want to play video games, but I'm afraid I will procrastinate. I need to do some tasks today, I will see my daughter tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 Hi, little success : 3/90 (June 11) I'm pretty satisfied with this Saturday : I did some tasks (vacuum, finally), took a shower (finally), took all my meals, sport, spanish, listening to music, and I didn't go to bed too late (0:30). And the weather was nice : life is good 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 13 Author Share Posted June 13 Hi, little success : 4/90 (June 12) I did a lot of things I wanted to do, I even went to bed early : 23:30 (it's early for me lol, usually I went to bed around 1:00). The disadvantage is that I was pretty bored during the evening, having to do my tasks without much procrastinating so I can go to bed early. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frettzo 12 Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 I'm just starting now, but I can see the boredom getting to me eventually as well. I've plans to tackle boredom with drawing and art studies, plus cycling and even a couple social events here and there like meetups and the like. It's good to hear you've been managing to go to bed earlier, you know! Congrats for that😎 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodvibes 245 Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 The more great sleep I got on a consistent basis I think is the less boring it seemed to shut down the computer earlier and the more I was looking forward to crawl into bed for more great sleep and also to my evening bath, a little sodoku magazine, evening walk with the sun setting or even just sitting outside. I set an alarm every evening for me to start that winding down routine which really helps immensely to stay on track. This is the path that worked for me and I just wanted to share that. @Frettzo@Martinof 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 15 Author Share Posted June 15 Hi, thank you for your comments ! Little success : 6/90 (June 14) Monday and Tuesday were pretty hard for me, but not for the video games. In fact I was sad, mainly because of work, then because of the loneliness (I couldn't see my daughter on Tuesday evening like before). Today was better, I wasn't sad. I do what I have to do at work (less procrastinating), and I feel better about my ex (I need to let her go : she's not interested). Since I feel better, I tell myself that I could game, "it won't hurt, right ?" lol, it's a trap ! I have to continue like this for the 90 days at least. If I feel better, it's partially because I don't game, so I need to keep going. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 16 Author Share Posted June 16 Hi, little success : 7/90, 1 week ! I felt like a month lol. Sometimes I want to play again, but this desire is not strong. I did an interesting exercise today : what if I could go back in time ? To key moments when I failed or needed to change. I made a list of these moments, and then I wrote what I should have done. And surprisingly, almost all the things I should have done could be applied to each of this moments : to be more hardworking (studies, work, looking for a better job, housework, etc.) ; to be more combative (why let the power to others ?) ; to be bolder (socially : friends, girls). That was the 3 main things for me, and I almost never think about this, I should keep this in mind. The 3 others things were : don't play video games, be careful to my sleep, and do more workouts. They're not secondary : with a lot of time spent on video games, a lack of sleep, not enough sport, well I won't have the strength to be hardworking, combative, bold. Since I can't go back in time, I "just" need to apply this to the present, for a better life. Try it and tell me what you find out 👍 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frettzo 12 Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 @goodvibesthanks for the tips, it does sound like a "winding-down" alarm would help me a ton. I feel like overexposure to computer screens is frying my brain and preventing me from dreaming at night. @MartinofI hadn't thought about doing something like it, but taking some time where I'm bored to think of things I should've done in the past and applying them to the present does sound like a top tier action. As always, I'm glad to hear you're on track -- It gives me motivation to keep on track myself, since we started around the same time! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 17 Author Share Posted June 17 (edited) Hi, good to see I give you motivation @Frettzo, now I'm even more motivated ! ^^ Little success : 9/90 (June 17) I went to the park today (I walked and ran), I didn't do something like this in a very long time, that was nice ! I see some improvements in my habits (sport, spanish, meals, shower, etc.), that's very good, but I still need to go to bed earlier. This weekend I see my daughter, I'm glad 👍 I want to play, but I tell myself that I have to finish the 90 days first, then maybe I'll play, 1 day per week for example. But with all the little improvements I see when I don't play, I don't think it would be a good idea to play after the 90 days, even 1 day per week, it would be a waste. Edited June 17 by Martinof add more stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 20 Author Share Posted June 20 Hi, 11/90 (June 19) I still see the little improvements without video games (meals, sport...), it's a good motivation to continue like this during 3 months 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 Woo-hoo ! 2 weeks : 14/90 (June 22) I feel good 🙂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 Hi, 16/90 (June 24) The temptation to play is present, but I tell myself there are a lot of things I have to do, and can do in the real world. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrainSiloEnthusiast 195 Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 Your daughter will be so proud of you, when she knows about your struggles and can understand them. I know I'm proud of you that's for sure! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted June 30 Author Share Posted June 30 Hi, as I said before, I relapsed : https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/10346-relapse-i-will-try-moderation/ I will try to play with moderation. I'm relieved that it's compatible with gamequitters : https://gamequitters.com/how-to-play-video-games-in-moderation/ So I will continue to post here, I think it can help me. And if it can help others, why not. If you feel moderation is not for you and you might be triggered by this, don't read ^^ So I read a bit about this (again), and I saw interesting things for children and teenagers that can work for me : 30min/1h a day during school/work, 2h max a day during the weekend, not every day of the week. I think the last part is very important : if it's not a habit anymore, it will be easier to deal with this. Last Saturday : ~2h ; last Sunday : ~2h -> I didn't plan to play this much, but it's still in the 2h limit, so it's quite ok for me for a relapse Last Monday : ~2h -> too much, i should have played less (1h) Last Tuesday : ~1h -> ok, in the limit Last Wednesday : 0 ! -> very nice, and no wifi ! I went to sleep very early for me : 23h Thursay : ~15min on an other game -> very nice, since it wasn't my main game, and it was very short Friday : I plan to play 0min, so it will be the 2nd day without video game in the week Saturday / Sunday : I don't know what to plan yet, max 2h each day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted July 4 Author Share Posted July 4 Hi, Friday was fine, I didn't play. And this weekend neither ! I was busy during the day with my daughter, and I had other priorities the evenings/nights (sport, spanish...) It feels good to put the games where they need to be : they're at the bottom of the list of priorities. Friday and Saturday I watch an episode of a series and a part of a movie (~1h and ~1h), so I guessed it helped to entertain me without using video games 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostRiver 53 Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 It warms my heart to know that you were able to spend quality time with your daughter. And of course, gaming being at the bottom of your priority. Stay strong! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikar 1794 Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Losing my X was probably the trigger I came here three years ago too. I hope you are able to maintain a positive relationship with your X and your daughter. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted July 9 Author Share Posted July 9 Hi, everything went way better than expected ! During 5 days (Monday -> Friday), I only played ~10min on Wednesday. The thing is that I always have something to do IRL. Of course I could act like before : play and postpone what I have to do. But now the games really feel like chores, for example : not enough space in inventory or storage, so I would need to waste my time to tidy up in a game... But I already have stuff to tidy up IRL lol Before I really had this "fear of missing out" (FOMO), I "had" to do the daily tasks for the daily rewards, even if they were lame. It could be daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal, even annual. I read something recently from a GQ article (https://gamequitters.com/video-games-lack-of-motivation/), about reinforcement schedule : it's really something I hate and that got me addicted, I had to plan my time around the game, instead of using the game when I really wanted to play (for example : when I'm done with my chores). From the article : "Reinforcement schedule : your child will be actively reinforced to come back to video games by allowing them to receive rewards and direct feedback for their efforts." Now this FOMO isn't strong anymore : the in-game rewards don't mean much. 6 hours ago, Ikar said: Losing my X was probably the trigger I came here three years ago too. I hope you are able to maintain a positive relationship with your X and your daughter. With my daughter I always maintain a good relationship, I wish I could spend more time with her. I'll spend most of the coming week with her (holidays), it will be nice. With my ex it's more complicated, but now more than before, I try to be nice with her (no more begging or accusing), it's better for the 3 of us. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostRiver 53 Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 20 hours ago, Martinof said: Hi, everything went way better than expected ! During 5 days (Monday -> Friday), I only played ~10min on Wednesday. The thing is that I always have something to do IRL So happy for you! Great week AND a new perspective. Watch out for boredom and frustration though. The cravings can come back if you are stressed too. But at this point I am really rooting for you since you will get the strength from your relationship with your daughter. Connection with others will do wonders to relieve stress. Plus I think if you have more fun with her, you don't have to game. I think next week is a big deal for you. If by the end of it, you stay relatively off gaming, you can keep it as sort of a happy memory/ motivation/ achievement on your journey as a gamequitter. Stay strong LostRiver 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted July 11 Author Share Posted July 11 Oops, I slipped yesterday (Sunday), I played during 3h, while my limit was 2h. It's not a lot above the limit (it wasn't 8h for example), but it had a direct impact on my sleep, since I played late at night. Because of this, I went to bed really late and had only 3h of sleep :s So I have to stop this game, it's too addictive (uninstalled once on Saturday, twice on Sunday, and once today) Saturday and Monday were pretty ok (15min and 1h). So tonight and tomorrow no video game. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul A. 228 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 What led you to the moderation route, if you don't mind me asking? I know personally that moderation doesn't work for me, but I'm curious to hear your perspective. How is it working out for you so far? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martinof 49 Posted July 13 Author Share Posted July 13 It's quite simple, I tried to stop completely countless times, and it didn't work. I also tried moderation countless times, without success ^^ But recently, the addiction is less strong, it's not that exciting anymore. My main game became boring for me 1,5 year ago, but I used other games during ~1 year. I tried again to quit games, but it didn't work, I always had this FOMO (fear of missing out). So I think moderation could be possible. And it works very well so far, in the last 18 days (when I started moderation with new rules : 30min-1h max during the week, 2h max during the WE, some days without game), I didn't play 50% of the days ! Before it was nearly impossible to spend a day without gaming. During these 18 days, I only slipped 2 days (2h instead of 1h during the week, 3h instead of 2h during the WE), so it's not that bad for me. This allows small failures, instead of quitting, where a fail means (in general) starting all over, it's quite demotivating. So, I did what I wanted to do : no game last Monday night and yesterday, that wasn't easy ^^ 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul A. 228 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 Got it, do what works best for you man! Glad you’ve found a system you can stick to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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