Georg's Introduction

[Georg]

Hey, guys! I'm glad to become part of this community.

I am 29 y.o. I work full-time remotely as a legal advisor and act on a professional level at a theatre from time-to-time. This is due to the fact that my first degree is in the field of international law and my additional degree is in the field of acting (I've also been doing stage acting professionally for 9 years now).

I am also recently married to a woman I love, with whom we've been together for almost 3 years now. This is my second marriage and I can see it being the last one.

If any of you are familiar with the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, I'm an ENFP. This means that I am prone to trying lots of things at once, yet struggle to finish any of those. I'm saying that because I have many hobbies, all of which have taken a hit due to my gaming disorder. The most prominent of them are: running, cycling, meditation, hiking, piano. But in my ideal lifestyle there's also place for gym, martial arts, snowboarding, singing and dancing. And that's me trying to be reasonable.

As I said, gaming has taken a huge toll on my life. I've been addicted since around 2nd grade, which means the age of 7 or 8. I think the precursor to that was my addiction to watching TV, which I did a lot as a kid as I was often left alone (my parents divorced and mother had to work a lot). In 2nd grade I was gifted with a Playstation and that's when it all began (though no one could know at the time). I have the fondest memories of playing PS1 with my friend, yet I wish we've never done it at all, since all this time could've been spent on learning a skill or playing something meaningful instead. But, hey, we were just kids, who did all they could to have fun despite the restrictions and parents' efforts to make us love going outside.

In grade 5 or 6 (which mean around age of 13) I was gifted with a PC with internet connection. This is when porn also entered my life, but that's a whole other story. I'll just state for the record that for me porn and games have also gone hand in hand, the two biggest devils of my life.

So, I've been playing video games for 20 years now. Wow. Twenty fucking years. I wish I had a hobby that I had been doing for 20 years by now, that would've made my life much better and enjoyable I suppose. Well, thank god there's acting at least.

What seems funny for me that in terms of gaming, I've never left the era that I used to play games the most - since I've never had a modern gaming PC or console, I've always retreated to playing games of the past, mostly those games, that I've already known. So, every time I relapse, I usually play the same list of games I've played my whole life.

Meanwhile, I am up to date with what comes out on the market in terms of new titles. And this is also part of my addiction - watching new games on Youtube and fantasising playing them myself.

What's worst for me about playing video games is that, despite having a job and a family and even a professional hobby such as acting, I still manage to escape in an unhealthy ways to video games - and to the detriment to my real life. I am actually writing this exact post as I am supposed to be working - I figured out that at least it's not gaming and for me writing this is very important, since I really want to quit this time for good. So that's going to benefit my work in the bigger picture.

On the bright side I pride myself in the fact that I have overcome my addictions to: a) weed; b) nicotine; c) alcohol. This means that I do not smoke any kind of stuff anymore, and don't drink alcohol. I realise that gaming, porn and social media addictions are the 3 addictions left in my life that need to be addressed. And so, gaming is next on the list. It's about time I grow up and learn how to make my inner child happy without making my life worse.

I wish to become a good part of this community and be of help whenever I can. But I think right now the biggest help to everyone would be to sort myself out, so that I can become a better version of myself and actually have something I can provide to the world. So far, I feel like I have little of that despite all the good things I've achieved in life. I think this is mainly due to the fact that there's so much that I am ambitious about but never take the steps to get it. I think this is the main reason why I am doing this - I want to break free and become the man I believe I can be.

Thanks for reading through and see you around the forums.