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My Journal - SpiNips


SpiNips

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Hello!

Today was a cool day! I woke up really early, don't know why. I'm guessing it's stress and tension in my body. Well since I had time in the morning I did my gym routine and went to school early. I spent the evening studying the cold war and also at my firms picnic which was really nice. The best moments of today were the picnic and a good conversation I had with my friend about biology, history, humanism and matriculation exams.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Pizza
  • A late summer day
  • Having a car without ABS brakes
  • Playing chess
  • Good food at school
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Hello!

Today has been a good day! I had great time at school and played some chess with my friend after it. I studied the Cold war and in the evening I went out on a boat with my friends which was really cool. The best moment of today was laughing with my friends.

Currently I feel that I need to prioritize the way I use my time, because I've felt very busy the last two or so weeks. 

I'm going to my friends farewell party. He is going to study a year in Italy. Probably going to miss tomorrow's post.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Billy Joel and the Eagles
  • Being in nature
  • Having time to sleep as much I want tonight
  • History for being interesting to study
  • Good friends whom I can hang out with
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Hello!

Today was a nice day. I took it a little easier since I needed some rest after the party. It was very fun there, maybe could've been a little more careful with the free drinks, but that's pretty humane. I studied Swedish, read 7 habits and visited friends. The best moments of today were dining with my friend and the way the Walking dead rose some emotions and thoughts to my head. 

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Green day
  • Pulled oat
  • Humanism
  • Internet helping me to study
  • Not being short on food
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Hello!

Today was a cool day! I had very nice time at school with friends. After school I went to gym and studied for my matriculation exams. The best moment of today was discussing philosophy with a girl from my class.

Going steadily forward.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Stronglifts – My favourite gym program by far
  • Nice conversations
  • A cool history teacher
  • Writing
  • Lasagne
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Hello!

Today was a cool day! I went to school, worked at Foodora and studied the evening. The best moment of the day was working – for some reason I had very positive feelings about it. Another one was falling back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night. I've had some sleep problems recently. They are annoying but I just have to deal with them. Internet has very many good suggestions about how to deal with these kinds of problems.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Aerosmith – really fits into my mood today
  • Chicken and bean salad
  • Green tea
  • Having a warm and light home in the darkness of the fall
  • It's good to have these sleep problems now so I'll know how to deal with them if they pop up before finals

I'm going to take tomorrow a little easier – going to see freinds and shopping some necessary equipment, maybe even clothes.

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Hello!

Today has been a day that I've been a little stressed out. I feel like all this studying is taking it's toll. Also having a little flu so I can't go to gym and wind off at the moment. I'm going to find some alternative activities. The best moment of today was eating russian Seljanka soup for 1.90€ with my friend.

Feeling a little overheated at the moment. I'm hoping to have some time to cool down tomorrow. I'm going to go play some chess with my friends and that's nice :) 

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Trying out new cuisines
  • Warm and cozy clothes
  • Hot liquids helping with flu
  • Google calendar for organizing my day
  • Recycling books and getting mine cheaper
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Hello!

Today has been better of a day. I was a bit tired during school but went to play some chess with friends afterwards and it was really awesome. I've studied maths the rest of the evening and made pretty decent progress thanks to Opetustv's educative videos. I've been watching them on 2x speed on their website and I've learned a ton. Internet is goddamn awesome since it helps people communicate so much better. We truly live on a remarkable time. The best moment of today was playing chess with my friends.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Mom cooking great food
  • Awesome high pressure weather today
  • Playing chess with friends
  • Walks – they are way to exercise during cold
  • Opetustv providing me with precious information
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Hello!

Today was a great day! School was good, chess was good and friends were good. The best moment of today was having a conversation with a small group of friends. I got plenty of perspective and resonance for my feelings. A friend of mine whom I've not previously talked as deep to had very similar thoughts compared to mine and it was great to feel that I'm not the only one thinking this way.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Having a nice night out with friends
  • Being able to drive a car
  • Our lovely Swedish teacher
  • Girls' points of view helped me get some perspective on my "guy-view"
  • Chickpeas
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Hello!

Today was a good day. I studied Swedish and history and played frisbee golf with my friends. The best moment of today was learning to throw the frisbee in a way that it flew about where I wanted it to.

I'm going through some weird emotions. I don't really know what it is really about, but I feel like this is very natural. I'm feeling a bit lost with my thoughts and sense of direction. I've gone through feelings like this in the past and eventually they've eased up. It's annoying when the problem you're dealing with isn't a tangible one. Well, I'll try my best. 

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Awesome weather
  • Doing sports
  • Great friends to hang out with
  • Gorgonzola pasta
  • Cool conversations with mom about martial arts and politics
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I'm going through some weird emotions. I don't really know what it is really about, but I feel like this is very natural. I'm feeling a bit lost with my thoughts and sense of direction. I've gone through feelings like this in the past and eventually they've eased up. It's annoying when the problem you're dealing with isn't a tangible one. Well, I'll try my best. 

This process will continue to come and go throughout your life. Just part of the way the world works. :)

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Hello!

Today has been a good day which has consisted of mostly studying. The best moment of today was doing a visualization exercise.

I feel like there is a need for change in my life. I feel like the way I've related to some thoughts has not been ideal. I want to work on my values and habits to establish a better foundation for my life. For now actual changes are at least as important as shifts in my mindsets. 

I feel like the way I've moved to this direction is by focusing on minor things that are not important and just floating too freely without goals or values in mind. I've thought pretty existential thoughts the last two months or so. Thoughts like "The World is too complicated and I'm so dependent on my subjectiveness that I can't really know what's good or not." have been paralyzing. Existential questions are so goddamn tricky. I think the Stoic approach which goes like "Accept what you can't change and change what you can." is a rather empowering one since it emphasizes acting. 

What to do now? I'm going to start by continuing to read Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Alongside it I'm going to focus on developing a set of values I approve and include them to my daily life. I'm going to connect with my dreams and goals more closely in order to get a better look at what I want. I'm going to balance my gym and work better so that I will be able to train consistently. Alongside all this I'm going to be reflecting to spot mistakes and keep me going to the right direction. 

I need to watch out for overanalyzing, which easily creeps up on me. I also need to realize that the way I think is way more under my control than I previously thought. I feel like over-accepting and identifying with my thoughts and feelings caused the feelings of lost and confusion.

All in all this feels like a big challenge – to tell myself that I've not been going to the ideal direction and it's time for me to correct the plan. It's going to be hard and there will surely be times when I don't know where to go or what to do, but I'm trying my best to do what I can, to focus on moving on to the right direction, the direction to which I'm guided by my intuition, goals and dreams.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Completing my studying goal
  • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
  • Playing recorder
  • Markers
  • Cooking Thai food with my family
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Hello!

I'm going to have the first part of my matriculation tests tomorrow and I'm pretty excited. Hoping it will go well. I'll do my best and it's all I can do for now. Today was a cool day. I went to school, hung out with friends and went to the gym. Gym was quite hard today but I am happy with my lifting results. I've spent the rest of the evening rehearsing my vocabulary. The best moment of today was laughing with my friends.

I feel like the pace in which I'm going to be progressing on the 7 habits is somewhat hindered due to the amount of studying. Well I'll try to get some of that in my schedule too.

For now I'm going to prepare everything I need tomorrow and go to sleep. Good night everybody!

PS. I've also got a fipple flute performance which I'm excited about too.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Gyllene tider – good Swedish music from 80s
  • Free weights and squat racks
  • Nice conversations
  • Encouraging words from my Swedish teacher
  • Feeling rather okay with the exam
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Hello!

Today has been alright! The listening exam went alright, not too bad, not especially awesome. Today I've been studying for nearly the whole day. Planned it well so it hasn't been too bad, but I need to remember to rest as well. We are having our nationwide finals during an exam week so it's no wonder studying is present. The best moment of today was a conversation with one of my classmates and also having this flirty situation with a girl.

After the flirty situation I felt anxious though because I thought that I should go talk to her or something but on the other hand my brain was going nonono. Phew – Overanalyzing this at the moment probably. I've got plenty to learn when it comes to girls and relationships. Nevertheless enjoyed the sparky moment.

A little bit of progress over time > no progress. You're doing great man!

That's true – a timely reminder. It's not only about speed, but also the direction.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Getting sleep last night – I woke up 4 times and had nightmares about badguys chasing me and post-apocalyptic robots hunting people down, woke up a couple times with heart beating at about 150 BPM, but managed to fall back asleep every time ^_^ 
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers – It has been a while since I've listened to them
  • The music performance went great and it was cool to play recorder
  • Walk helping me to get my daily exercise
  • Elliott Hulse's new video He is a smart guy and it was interesting to hear his interpretation about cycles of life.

Good attitude of working at the moment :) 

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Hello!

Today has been a work-filled day. My physics exam went alright. At this point it is not one of my priorities. After school I went to the gym, but my body had not recovered properly, so I took it a little lighter than usually. I've studied history this evening. It has been interesting. The best moment of today was a conversation with my teacher. He's a sharp chap. If we were of the same age I'm pretty sure we'd be good friends. Not saying it's not possible now, but the difference in interests and situation of life is of course noticeably different.

I took a work shift for tomorrow so I'm going to spend tomorrow studying and working as well. I'm very glad that it's weekend soon so that I'll have time to do something else than study. My level of energy and capability to study has been good. I'm sure that the pressure helps me to organize myself more efficiently than usual. Planning is a great source of strength.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Metallica and Foo Fighters
  • Having friends to talk to
  • Cold shovers
  • Steamed vegetables and blood sausage
  • Awesome weather
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Hello!

Today was a cool day! The history exam went rather alright. I need to improve my usage of time because I'll have less time during the matriculation exams. Anyways it's nice to notice the changes in perspective during the course of studying. The best moment today was chatting with workmates. I heard a story about my workmate who is highly intelligent, but has a unreliable memory due to brain damage. It was very interesting to hear about his story.

I've been working nearly full day, but at the moment I feel rather energetic. I'm planning on keeping next Saturday full study free in order to get some rest. Maybe going to chill with my friends from gymnastics.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Dire Straits – badass riffs
  • Omelettes
  • Chill enough a workday
  • The least exam and the weekend are soon here
  • Going to a café with my friend tomorrow
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Hello!

Today was an up and down day. The exam went alright. I invited my friends to our place, but I had very little energy left after the exam week and the matriculation exams so I was rather mentally exhausted. Well sometimes there are days like these, giving yourself enough time to rest is important – doing that tomorrow. The best moment of today was going to a café with my friend. We chatted for hours about relationships, friends and the future. It was very refreshing to have such a good conversation.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Weekend
  • Sympathetic cafe nearby
  • Having friends who support and whom you can talk to
  • My fresh and mopped room
  • U2 radio on Spotify
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Hello!

Today was a day of rest I required. I used my day by reading, going for a jog, cooking and meeting my friends. It kind of makes me anxious to think about how hard it was to spend days this way right after quitting games. Very thankful for being able to enjoy other things than just gaming. The best moment of today was eating wings with friends of mine.

I feel like the stress of the week has begun to unwind today. I've been tired and slept a lot. I think it's good to let it out this way instead of burning out completely.

I'm continuing on Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I'm now at the end of chapter two in which he mentions visualization. My relationship to visualization has been cautious after last winters visualizations which I feel like caused more bad than good. Well that hopefully pointed out what not to do. I feel like the role of visualization will be amplifying my inner feelings and paradigms rather than stuffing something from outside to inside. 

I planned to go out with a girl I'm interested in, which makes me a little nervous but also excited at the same time. ^_^

Today I'm grateful for:

  • The Eagles – Take it easy 
  • Well flavoured wing sauce
  • Old and trustworthy Nissan Sunny
  • Organizing a meet with a good friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a long time
  • Green day and tea
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Hello!

There seems to be many journals popping up nowadays. :P Today I've been studying, reading and training in the gym. Overall this has been an ok day, but I feel a little annoyed for some reason. The best moment of today was talking with my bookworm grandmother. I admire her since he has read so amazingly much. Hoping to be that kind of a cool grandparent as well.

I've been pondering my values and paradigms today. It's not a short process, I've got to say that. I'm continuing with developing my values and living by them.

Another thing I've been pondering today is NoFap. It's really hard for me to come up with a clear opinion about the optimal length of a streak. I know that it's not such a big thing either, but this topic is surrounded by a lot of neuroticism on my part. A thing I've noticed that I sometimes end up thinking my actions as a result of NF instead of my own decision which is very harmful. I know that the optimal cycle will be over 11 days but probably less than 60. Uff this is annoying because there are no clear answers. Another feeling I get is that this is actually not such an important question after all. Phew, If you guys have any ideas or opinions I'd love to hear them!

How'd it go with the girl? :D

We flirted a bit on a music class and I decided to ask her out to a café. :) We are going a bit later this month, because of the matriculation exams and the necessary changes it makes to schedules.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • The Rolling Stones
  • Spaghetti squashes
  • Yet another beautiful autumn day
  • Forming a new gym schedule
  • Accepting feelings
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