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My Journal - SpiNips


SpiNips

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Hi SpiNips, it is great reading your journal again. I applaud the consistency at which you write your posts, it is something I need to personally work on. 

I just feel bad – might be that it's not necessarily connected to anything special. I believe that a more active style of life could improve my energy. 

Phew, I'm feeling that there are so many directions and things to go for at the moment that it's making me distracted.

Perhaps try and just feel the 'bad' feeling, and you might be able to determine the thing(s) it is derived from.

I certainly find an active lifestyle helps me to improve my energy, so it could well work for you too. What exercise/outdoor activities do you do regularly? Perhaps you could work on making those more consistent or building it into something more energizing/physically demanding.

If there are a lot of directions in life you want to go right now, and you know you can't do them all without causing great amounts of stress or other obstacles, I'd recommend you prioritze: 1. what's best for you, and 2. compatibility within your day/life. That way you can properly focus on where you want to go the most, and not worry about the opportunity cost. I could be all wrong here as I'm basing this off very few details, but I hope my advice helps :D

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Hello!

I took a walk and had this thought that my experiment with NF kind of resembles the story of King Oedipus. The Oracle's prophecy is kind of like my preconception about the effect of this experiment. The conception is just so strong that it fulfills itself through placebo. Sophocles' thoughts from Ancient Greek all the way to today's Finland. 

I watched a load of Strength Camp's videos regarding sexuality and sexual energy. The answer I got from Elliot is that there is no one solution for all. I'm quite satisfied with that answer. Everybody has the responsibility to figure it out for her/himself.

I'm going to stick to my plan since I feel that going forward with it is the best way to actually figure the answer for myself. If I would stop it now the progress I'd made wouldn't really be that significant. I'm working with my plan 'till the end.

Hi SpiNips, it is great reading your journal again. I applaud the consistency at which you write your posts, it is something I need to personally work on. 

I just feel bad – might be that it's not necessarily connected to anything special. I believe that a more active style of life could improve my energy. 

Phew, I'm feeling that there are so many directions and things to go for at the moment that it's making me distracted.

Perhaps try and just feel the 'bad' feeling, and you might be able to determine the thing(s) it is derived from.

I certainly find an active lifestyle helps me to improve my energy, so it could well work for you too. What exercise/outdoor activities do you do regularly? Perhaps you could work on making those more consistent or building it into something more energizing/physically demanding.

If there are a lot of directions in life you want to go right now, and you know you can't do them all without causing great amounts of stress or other obstacles, I'd recommend you prioritze: 1. what's best for you, and 2. compatibility within your day/life. That way you can properly focus on where you want to go the most, and not worry about the opportunity cost. I could be all wrong here as I'm basing this off very few details, but I hope my advice helps :D

Feeling the feeling is a good advice. I feel like this feeling is derived from my level of activity and partly from the anxiety that this NF experiment brings with it.

I'm currently working as a bike courier. I get about 20+km every workday from my job. I'm also doing BJJ and if I have time I'll do some gym and jogging. Sports are really important for me but you are right, I need to do some prioritizing with them. 

To be honest at the moment I feel like I have to keep working through this anxiety by trying my best – being active and keeping the basics in check. The feeling might last for a while but in the end I'll make it through wiser. 

Thank you for your comment Alex! Your advise and support was plenty useful! :)

The best moment today was playing a game of Chess against my father. I had the upper edge in material, but that son of a gun played so quickly that I had no time to mate him.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Layla, Learn to Fly
  • Free Bird solo
  • A late evening walk in the windy weather
  • The first month in my work had gone without a problem
  • Pork FIllet
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Hello!

Today was a good day! I went to the gym in the morning which gave my day a boost. Then I proceeded to take care of some minor errands, read and study. The evening was spent watching football with friends. We had a really great time! :)

I might mention NF in many of my posts. I know that there are varying attitudes towards it, but it's very topical. I feel that my vitality is at it's normal levels. Maybe thanks to gym, maybe thanks to the break. I feel like I'm going to get a better answer to the actual effect later on. I'll try to make a bigger post on a correct forum once I'm ready with this experiment.

One day when we meet, we shall play a game of chess!

and you shall lose!

Hockey, I give to you but chess 9_9 Come at me bro! xD

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Trying out a new chicken recipe and it tasted good!
  • Abba radio, ABBA, Bee Gees, Elton John – Love it!
  • Proximity with my friend
  • Trying out a new way to cycle by placing the ball of your feet in the middle of the paddle
  • Having time to read other journals
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Hello!

Today was a good day! The level of productivity was good. The best moment of today was just laughing at some random stuff with my friend.

I'm starting to get quite frustrated at finance for now. It's just such a huge industry with so many options. I'm reading Ramit Sethi's book I will teach you to be rich. Sethi gives good and clear instructions, but he financial system here in Finland doesn't have all the possible funds USA has. It feels a bit weird as a Finn to invest on American funds when taxes and everything are taken into the picture. It'll still be worth it to manage this now so that I can actually forget about these things.

I've got a job tomorrow so I'll take a good sleep. Good Night everyone!

Oh, and I could try out yoga maybe. I think it would compliment going to the gym well.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Tea helping my throat feel better
  • Rebel Rebel and David Bowie
  • Meatballs and mashed potatoes
  • A walk in the forest after rain
  • My father being awake when I arrived home
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Hello!

Today was a productive day! I worked, went to the gym, studied both Swedish and English. It's good to be productive, but now I am in need of good rest. I reflected the day on my personal journal so this post is going to remain a little stub. The best moment of today was accidentally deadlifting 10kg more because I did the plate calculations wrong. xD

Today I'm grateful for:

  • My first paycheck from Foodora. My boss asked me to continue working after summer :) 
  • Listening to a gospel band I stumbled upon a couple years ago at a camp. (Outi and Lee)
  • Laughing with my friends at poor digimon Finnish dubbing
  • Perspective matters
  • AirBnB
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Hello!

Today was a good day. We spent this weekend planning an upcoming camp. We've worked really hard. The best moment of today was dining with my friends.

I'm quite frustrated since I've been pondering very existential questions. I've got this feeling that everything in our life is subjective so there is no way of knowing what is wrong or right, good or bad. This is really annoying since I can't see a meaning for life. I guess this brings with it a desperation that whatever I do will be just another thing and not really important. Ugh. If you guys have any thoughts about this feel free to write them. I think I need to have some kind of outer perspective on this issue. (I just want to say fuck you to existential philosophy and get on with my life.)

Congrats to all of the Portuguese Game Quitters out there for EM football! :) 

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Oasis and Foo Fighters
  • Trying out pita kebab for the first time
  • Buying funny sunglasses on a trip with my friend
  • Getting to be myself with my friends
  • Listening to some hymns that bring nostalgia to mind
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Hello!

I'm enjoying summer at my friend's hut. We've been chilling the whole day. The best moment of today was playing chess with my friends.

There is no meaning of life outside of the one that you create for yourself.

The meaning of life is the meaning that you give it. Simple as that. You decide. 

I pondered this myself as well. May I ask you how did you come to this conclusion. Why is this so? This is by no means about questioning your opinion. I'm just interested in your way of looking at this. I also managed to get to quite a similar answer but not exactly.

Somethin I learned yesterday is not to get too existentialistic late in the evening. It'll just make me frustrated.

Today I'm grateful for:

•Warm seawater

•Cozy bed

•Fire

•Finding a Swedish history podcast! Perfect

•Hospitality

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I read two books:

1. A Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl

2. Denial of Death by Ernest Becker

The latter taught me that our search for meaning comes from our innate fear of death (that many of us pretend not to have, lol), and in order to alleviate the anxiety we experience from our fear of death we search for a meaning that allows our life to not be meaningless. Ironically, this search puts us on a path where we waste a lot of time trying to find an answer that does not exist.

The only purpose in my life is my own happiness and fulfillment. I choose what that means to me (Viktor Frankl taught me that the last human freedom is our ability to choose what the meaning of our life is), and instead of searching for some answer that doesn't exist, I live each moment to the fullest and try my best to not get caught up in silly bullshit.

The only way you live forever is through the legacy you leave behind. Go out and create something beyond yourself. Let that be your legacy. And start doing it now. Today. In this moment.

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Hello!

I'm back from my friend's cottage. It was a great trip and we had plenty of fun! It was really refreshing to be near nature for those few days. The best moment today was throwing frisbee with my friends.

@Cam Adair Thanks for your thorough answer! I've thought about this and partly forgotten some of the answers I came up with. I think I'm going to keep on doing what I love and find fulfilling. I asked myself what makes life worth living, and these were the answers that popped into my head: love, intimacy, people, joy, sadness, sports, vitality, sex, friends, nature, improving, growth, helping others, food, exploring, swimming in a clear sea, rest, balance, working hard, drinking coca cola on a warm summer day, relatives, family, meeting new people, projects and wandering.

Mark Manson's website proved once again to be of great help. His articles were a spot on when pondering this kind of questions. An article that really caught my attention was the article about Analysis Paralysis, which is very natural for me. It's good to be aware of this.

My friends installed Pokémon GO at the cottage, but I decided to pass installing it. Even though the game seems quite adventurous I feel like it wouldn't be too fulfilling pastime. It's interesting to see how the game will develop and whether it'll be able to sustain such a large amount of interest further on.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • U2
  • Peas
  • Getting to know my friend Kiri better
  • Board games
  • Meditation and the awareness it brings
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I asked myself what makes life worth living, and these were the answers that popped into my head: love, intimacy, people, joy, sadness, sports, vitality, sex, friends, nature, improving, growth, helping others, food, exploring, swimming in a clear sea, rest, balance, working hard, drinking coca cola on a warm summer day, relatives, family, meeting new people, projects and wandering.

Invest your time in these and I'm certain at the end of your life you will not regret it. :)

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Hello!

Today was a great and chill day. I had a cup of tea at my relatives' place. It was interesting to have a conversation about time and growing with my cousin. After that I helped a friend of mine organize next weekends Survivor-themed activity. It was pleasant to exchange thoughts with her. In the evening we dined at my grandma's place – loads of great food. Later in the evening I trained at the gym which felt good. I tried out front squats for the first time and felt that they'd be a good addition to my routine. The best moments of today were the different conversations with different people.

Somehow today was a very chill day. It wasn't necessarily unproductive, but I still felt like I had fun the whole day. 

The NF experiment is going well. My perspective has already changed quite a bit. One-and-a-half-weeks to go.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Conversations
  • The feeling after sports
  • Being able to find non-gaming stuff interesting
  • Blueberries with milk
  • Awesome friends I met in BJJ

 

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Hello!

It's getting darker in the night – summer is moving onwards. Today was a good day. The day was quite basic, I worked, studied and did a little jog. In the evening I met my friends, but I was quite tired so maybe it would've been better to take some rest by myself. The best moment of today was enjoying my working shift even though it rained a lot.

I'm tired so I'll go get some sleep

Today I'm grateful for:

  • The ghost of Paul Revere – After many miles
  • Abba giving me strength to write this post
  • Mark Manson wrote a new book! :x
  • Observations about NF
  • The door was open when I arrived home
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Hello!

I'm back from the island. It was fun to meet new people and strengthen the bonds that already exist. The best moment of today was playing music with my friends.

I'm getting a little frustrated at my NoFap experiment, since I have quite a firm vision about the result already. I'm kind of making myself go the unpleasant route that leads to a worse direction, but for some reason I feel a need to execute my plan to the end. This is kind of like the film in which this guy ate only McDonalds' food for a month – although much milder. Just a week to go. 

I'm thinking of taking a break from drinking milk since it might cause my respiratory system to create some phlegm. We'll see. It's very sad to drop out milk since it's pretty much the number 1 fat and protein source for me.

Feeling quite busy and unsure at the moment.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Playing a crazy version of alias
  • Hugs
  • Going to try a out a Turkish restaurant tomorrow
  • Good pondering today
  • Fun time playing games in the island
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Hello!

Today has been a day that started out quite well then went steep down and eventually back up. The best moments of today were eating lunch with family and friends and my friend Kalle cheering me up!

The swing with feelings is mostly derived from my experimentations with NoFap. For a little backstory I've had NoFap as a part of my life some way or another for one-and-a-half-years. During the time I've gone past 100 days a couple times. The reason I'm experimenting with NoFap is its zero tolerance approach to masturbation, or that's what I've understood – I might be wrong. Anyways I feel that this approach is a bit extremist and not suitable for me. I'll go into the detail in a separate post.

The experimentation I've tried is to decrease the amount of days between fapping systematically. I created a plan schedule for this, but now I've come to a point in which I feel like my mood is severely affected. A part of me says that I have to stay with my plan and go all the way to one day. It would be achieved at the end of this week. But On the other hand I feel like there is no need to go through that unnecessary pain even if I have to break my plan. I've gotten plenty of perspective and feel like I have a new way of looking at this. 

Somehow I feel disappointed to break my plan, but to be honest I feel like it's much much better this way. I wasn't aware of all the consequences when I put together the plan. In the end I'm very relieved to leave this all behind.

An awesome thing that happened today was my friend giving me a ton of positive energy. I felt down but he really cast some spirit in me. I feel like we have this kind of effect on each other. I'm very grateful for having met him.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Mumford and Sons – There will be time :x (Go listen to it!)
  • Trying out a Turkish food today
  • We soon have an army of Swedes in this forum. I'll come to visit you! :ph34r:
  • Getting to know a friend of mine better
  • Buying a new pair of shorts that are perfect for my work

Hey, there are better source of fat&protein than just milk. Check it out!

And I strongly recommend you to keep NoFap challenge up. It's the best you can do to get rid of egoism and become a real man.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Thanks for your contribution! I'll check the milk alternatives, but believe me milk has its place in my heart. xD What comes to NoFap I feel that it's had a big positive impact on my life and I will continue to enjoy it. I think that I need to find a way to do it that fits me. One way may not fit everybody. :)

Go almond milk bro! :D

That's a goddamn good idea! I don't need to give up my habits while trying new things out. Awesome suggestion Cam!

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Hey, there are better source of fat&protein than just milk. Check it out!

And I strongly recommend you to keep NoFap challenge up. It's the best you can do to get rid of egoism and become a real man.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Thanks for your contribution! I'll check the milk alternatives, but believe me milk has its place in my heart. xD What comes to NoFap I feel that it's had a big positive impact on my life and I will continue to enjoy it. I think that I need to find a way to do it that fits me. One way may not fit everybody. :)

That's true, but if you can give me at least one benefits from masturbation other than instant pleasure, then tell me what it is ;)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Hello!

Much better feeling today! It's getting late – I'll keep it short. I was supposed to come home early to get some good sleep but our boat shut down in the middle of lake Näsijärvi. After a long battle with giving the engine the fuel it required we made it to home. The best moment of today was seeing friends whom I hadn't see in a long time.

Today I'm grateful for:

  • Chill shift
  • Getting some fresh air before sleep
  • Being able to give my friends a ride home
  • Having time to sleep late
  • Brazil nuts

@hycniejsy I'll go more in depth with this once I have more energy :) 

 

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