April 29, 20223 yr Day 1. Last week went horribly wrong, I’ve been gaming nonstop for days. Today I quit again. Just now I’ve received an email with my exam dates: I have math on June 27th and physics on June 30th. Given this much time I have to study like crazy. So I want to try something new and share my study progress in this new journal. Every day I’ll make a post with my goals for the day and reflect what I was able to accomplish. By this I’ll be able to keep track of things and keep myself accountable. That’s it for now, I have to sleep well.
April 30, 20223 yr Author Day 2. I've finished one math block which is nice. I wanted to do a bit more, but I think it's okay for the start. I should manage my time better because I'm wasting a lot on procrastination, so starting from tomorrow I'll set my goals as study sessions with fixed time period. I'll be using pomodoro technique, I already know that it works for me. Also I want to read more in free time, haven't done it in a while and I feel braindead. Edited April 30, 20223 yr by Max
May 1, 20223 yr Author Day 3. I wanted to study a bit in the morning but I overslept. After that I wasn’t home all day. Today was just a nice relaxing day outside. I’ll study tomorrow.
May 2, 20223 yr Author Day 4. I overslept and woke up at 1 PM. Done some math during the day, but still kinda lazy fuck. I want to setup a healthy routine. I think going for a small walk after waking up might help, I'll do that tomorrow.
May 3, 20223 yr Author Day 5. I had a walk in the morning right after I woke up and that felt very nice and refreshing. I've planned to do 6 study sessions 1 hour each today, but I've done only 3. Is it enough? No. I will try to do better tomorrow.
May 5, 20223 yr Author Day 6. I've played some Minecraft, but I don't consider this as relapse, because I can totally control all my gaming besides Overwatch. I have no plans or desire to play Minecraft today. But I studied for about 2 hours which is disappointing. I want to find balanced approach to studying.
May 9, 20223 yr Author So I've relapsed 3 days ago, fuck. Yesterday I found my old textbook where I was writing about my Overwatch addiction in 2018. And that shit scares me, it's been 4 years since and nothing really changed. I'm still the same, pathetic. I have no clue what I'm really doing in my life. My social life is non existent and I think that shows.
May 14, 20223 yr Hey, Max! Keep it up. I think what you’ve already written down shows the progress you’ve been making so far. This path is not a straight road to success but rather a series of victories AND failures. I suppose the best we can do is learn to accept both as equally important and in some way desired. What I can recommend is learning how your motivation works, because as I recently learnt there’s no such thing as a lazy person, but rather wrong conditions for motivation to thrive. I think there are different ways one can learn about what works for him best, personally for me what has been a great deal of help recently is MBTI system, I recommend you look it up!
May 15, 20223 yr Author On 5/15/2022 at 1:19 AM, Georg said: This path is not a straight road to success but rather a series of victories AND failures. I suppose the best we can do is learn to accept both as equally important and in some way desired. Yeah, I absolutely agree on this one. On 5/15/2022 at 1:19 AM, Georg said: What I can recommend is learning how your motivation works, because as I recently learnt there’s no such thing as a lazy person, but rather wrong conditions for motivation to thrive. After I’ve read Atomic Habits by James Clear I started questioning importance of motivation. I tend to believe that motivation is volatile and in order to achieve something a have to focus on my system (routines) rather than goals. Environment is also a very important factor: right after my last relapse I’ve moved to countryside for a while, away from my gaming PC. So I didn’t play since then just because 1) I can’t, so it’s not tempting 2) I don’t have PC around so it’s not triggering me into an action, I have no cues to bad habits here. On 5/15/2022 at 1:19 AM, Georg said: I think there are different ways one can learn about what works for him best, personally for me what has been a great deal of help recently is MBTI system, I recommend you look it up! Thank you for your suggestion, it was an interesting read. It turned out I’m ISTP-T. Good to know, I’ve learned quite a bit about my likely behavior.
May 16, 20223 yr Awesome! Thanks for reminding that I most definitely have to read "Atomic Habits". I'm really glad you've found that link useful! And I believe you have all the things necessary to get your routines and environment right. The path is set, keep going!
May 17, 20223 yr Author Day 11 of no games. Yesterday I've quit YouTube and everything related to entertainment online. I woke up at 7 AM and studied for 7 hours during the day. I've never felt so productive before.
May 18, 20223 yr Author Day 12. I've studied for 6 hours 45 minutes today, which is not enough. I also watched youtube for a few hours. This is disappointing. Well, to stay positive almost 7 hours is still better than nothing. I have exams in 40 days and I procrastinated for 2 years straight, so now I have to study like there is no tomorrow. I wake up at 6-7 AM which is too late. I have to shift it to 4-5 AM in a week or so. My study goal from now on is going to be 12 hours a day, I think it'll take a week to get there. Such schedule will leave me 4 hours of free time (considering 8 hours of sleep). Most of it I'll use for breaks between pomodoro sessions. All of this means that I won't have any time for anything else. Which is kinda okay since I don't have anything to do anyway, not having any friends or job turned out to be convenient.
May 19, 20223 yr Author Day 13. Woke up around 6 AM. Studied for 7 hours 40 minutes. Holy fuck that's tough, I need some rest.
May 20, 20223 yr Author Day 14. 7 hours of studying today. I intended to do 8, but I was so tired last hour that I started to lose focus, thus studying more would be just unproductive. So I'll go to sleep earlier so I can wake up at 5 AM tomorrow and do more study sessions in the morning. Nothing more to report since studying is the only thing I do other than sleeping, eating and doing some minor physical exercises.
May 21, 20223 yr Author Day 15. Wake up time: 5 AM Studying: 7 hours 25 minutes I never thought I would consider going to sleep as a reward.
May 22, 20223 yr Author Day 16. Wake up time: 5 AM. Studying: 5 hours 23 minutes + ~1.5 hours off counting. Today I moved back to the city from countryside. Couldn’t study that much today because there was a little party at my place. Just got home, It’s 1 AM already, so I’ll wake up at 8 tomorrow.
May 23, 20223 yr Keep up the routine mate 🙂 Really strong what you are doing currently, those learning hours are really something!
May 23, 20223 yr Apparently 21 times of doing something in succession forms a habit, I heard that somewhere a long time ago. I guess it’s when the brain automatically wants to do something without think about it. When like me your brain is wired to wake up look at your screen and play mindless games each day, then it’s difficult to break. I think the fact you are setting your self daily goals is fantastic, I’m trying to learn from you as well as I am struggling keep up the effort, I’m sure it will be worth it !
May 23, 20223 yr Author Day 17. Wake up time: 8 AM. Studying: 6 hours. My relocation has messed my schedule a little bit, but it was expected. I woke up 3 hours later than usual, so I did a little bit less today, only 6 hours. But it's okay, tomorrow I'll do 9.
May 23, 20223 yr Author On 5/23/2022 at 4:14 AM, Lobares said: Keep up the routine mate 🙂 Really strong what you are doing currently, those learning hours are really something! Thanks mate! I've been neglecting studying for years, barely doing anything at all. Now I have 1 month to prepare for my exams, so I don't have time to waste.
May 23, 20223 yr Author On 5/23/2022 at 2:07 PM, Nix said: Apparently 21 times of doing something in succession forms a habit, I heard that somewhere a long time ago. I guess it’s when the brain automatically wants to do something without think about it. When like me your brain is wired to wake up look at your screen and play mindless games each day, then it’s difficult to break. I think the fact you are setting your self daily goals is fantastic, I’m trying to learn from you as well as I am struggling keep up the effort, I’m sure it will be worth it ! Yeah, repetition is the most important part of habit formation. And time spent doing something doesn't really matter when it comes to habits, it could be 1 minute, could be 10 hours a day. If you are struggling then I suggest starting slowly and then gradually increase time. At the start it could be a couple of minutes, just stick to your routine and when certain number of repetitions is reached, it becomes a habit. Also I want to mention that it's not an easy task and failing is okay. I've been constantly failing for years, I've deleted my last journal because I thought I gave up and never would come here again, the journal itself was filled with my depression, despair and countless relapses during the last 2 years. Best of luck!
May 24, 20223 yr Author Day 18. Wake up time: 6 AM. Studying: 9 hours 6 minutes. Idk it feels like torture at this point, yet I'm still way behind my schedule. At this point I can only blame myself for not studying for years. I have no idea what to do now. Forget about exams and take my time to study properly? So everyone who knows me would be disappointed in me (again) or should I just rush through my courses doing everything half-assed and hope for the best on exams? You reap what you sow.
May 25, 20223 yr Author Day 19. Wake up time: 6 AM. Studying: 10 hours 18 minutes. Well I guess I'll keep studying as hard as I can. I wanna test myself, can I study for 10 hours a day for over a month or not. Exams are not that important, I wanna know my true limits. Now the only way to go forward is to endure suffering. And I deserve it.
May 26, 20223 yr Whether you are ready or not for the exam at the end, the important thing is that you built up a new habit and you hopefully continue with this (maybe not that intensive) for a longer period of time. Thats the real achievement, because with the good habits all those things will be easily achievable in the future even if you fail this time simply because it wasnt possible in that time. So push through.
May 26, 20223 yr Author Day 20. Wake up time: 6 AM. Studying: 8 hours 4 minutes. l have to study more productively.
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