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Waking Up


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Day 1.

Went to bed at 3AM last night (well today if it counts) and I feel like shit today. Brain fog, head hurts, low motivation. But nonetheless I want to change. I'm tired of chasing this "high" and I realized that weed is not really the problem for me, but gaming is my true addiction. Weed does amplify the experience and makes the whole gaming habit more addictive, but there are times where I smoke with others and do great stuff and I feel like I gain more from that than if I just smoke alone and play video games and eat junk food.

Today I'm going to remake my resume, apply for at least 5 jobs, study about 2-3 hours for my final exam coming up tomorrow  and just do a shit ton of good habits.

Im an intense person, it feels like I can't avoid being all in or all out. 

But this time I choose all in. I choose to be present for others in my life. I choose to acknowledge that everything is temporary and that I need to enjoy the time I spend with my parents who are getting older, with my dog who is already 4 years old and with my amazing girlfriend, because even though it is getting clearer to me that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, you never know what could happen so its important to tell these people how much they mean to you and just fucking do shit in life. 

Fuck gaming, fuck porn, fuck shitty junk foods and fuck enhancing these things with weed.

Instead, go deep connections, go purpose, go self improvement, go greater self awareness and go enhancing all of these with weed.

Rick, out

Quote

Choose your pain MF

 

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Day 2,

I actually decided that I won't do journaling online but rather in my Self Improvement Journal because I feel more at ease that way and don't want to have to do screens first thing in the morning.

Peace

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Hi Rick,

 

Yeah, screens are a hard to deal with. Glad you decided on a way that'll help you cut back on them. Wishing you luck on your journey! 

A

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