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Posted

Hi fellow gamers and ex-gamers,

 

my name is Nils. I am a 26 year old medicine student from Germany having a problem with League of Legends (LoL). I finally decided to join the forum and am looking forward to some new perspectives and tips concerning video game addiction. I tried to quit several times, also relapsed several times. Longest period without LoL unfortunately only were 72 days. I created several LoL accounts and deleted them again after a while. Today I only have 1 account which gets deleted at 22th of april 2022. I am not playing since 18 days the moment I write this.

In the following I will write notes rather than a long text with lots of sentences so you can easily read it. I have analyzed my behaviour quite a lot in the past and maybe my thoughts are helpful for you who are reading this right now 🙂

 

my problem? addicted to League of Legends

since when do I play? Season 1/2 (2009/2010). started at age 14

when did it get out of control? 2017/2018, in my 5th semester after I passed a big medicine exam. I needed a break from learning at that time and due to a lot of reasons (see below) I played slowly more and more LoL.

why do I play? 1) I like the game design and mechanisms.

                         2) I like playing competitively / outplaying other players.

                         3) I get social approval from other players / a feeling of power and success (being good at the game, being better than others = above average). I also have the feeling of being useful to others.

                         4) I use LoL as a distraction from real life problems such as parents`divorce, feeling lonely, learning for exams, being discontent with social relationships, ... (LoL is like a narcotic, it makes u numb to real life issues)

                         5) The game doesnt cost anything and is always available.

                         6) I "function" at the game (feeling of being efficient, working in a flow)

                         7) It has become a HABIT. It means I play cause thats what I did in the past years in my free time. Its like an automatism when Im feeling bored.

 

reasons to quit? 1) My gaming behaviour caused health issues such as:

                                           - bad posture (nerd neck / forward head posture / tightened and shortened muscles)

                                           - back pain

                                           - skin complaints (I got a Sinus pilonidalis from too much sitting and had to go through surgery)

                                           - not doing sports anymore / too little movement

                                           - lack of sleep / disturbance of circadian rhythm

                              2) Gaming doesnt help me dealing with my real life problems. Problems are not solved but delayed.

                              3) Gaming causes a narrowing of interests. I neglected former hobbies such as: composing classical music, being outside, reading, doing sports, playing guitar and piano, ...

                              4) Gaming leads to a neglect of social relationships. My social skills became worse over time. I feel lonely from time to time.

                              5) The game itself (LoL) is frustrating due to the scaling system (playing from behind feels awful) and toxicity. I know this but STILL play (sign of addiction)!

                              6) I am unable to control the amount of time spent playing LoL. LoL turns me into an undisciplined person. 

                              7) I neglect the easiest every day tasks like cleaning, eating on steady times of day, going to bed early, showering, brushing teeth etc.

                              8 ) LoL has a negative impact on my studies and the chance to become a good doctor that is helping other people with his skills and knowledge.

                              9) LoL has a negative impact on my self confidence (long-term). It is only rewarding short-term.

                              10) It has become hard to enjoy "normal" activities due to the constant overstimulation LoL and platforms like YouTube provide.

                              11) LoL has become such a big part in my life that I think about the game even in random situations when not gaming. It controls my thinking processes. 

 

how does my addiction look like? 1) uncontrolled consumption of League of Legends 

                                                          2) gaming despite health and mental issues

                                                          3) narrowing of interests

                                                          4) I get cravings from time to time when I watch or interact with LoL content (montages on YouTube, Twitch streams, watching professional LoL tournaments). This caused several relapses.

                                                          5) I DONT have any abstinence phenomenons like getting nervous / angry or anxiety. I can have long periods of time without playing LoL and its not a problem for me, but when I get

                                                              confrontedwith triggers I find it hard to resist the craving.

 

my triggers? being on the internet / sitting in front of the PC, trigger Nr. 1 is YouTube (watching LoL montages and streams). I know its a trigger but from time to time I cannot resist searching them up on purpose though I shouldnt, negative emotions: boredom / sadness / loneliness (was a big issue in the past) / lack of self-confidence, being confronted with a big task (LoL = procrastination device), just thinking about the game can also be a  trigger for me.

my goals? quitting LoL for good because I am unable to play this game in moderation.                                                          

what do I do in order to reach my goal? deleting all my accounts, taking notes on self-improvement / my behaviour, reading books about the topic, interacting with new people / making new friends that share my healthier interests, trying out new/old hobbies: I got into bouldering lately and really like it, I also play more music like I did in the past. I even started learning a new instrument and took 6 music lessons (e guitar).

 

 

Thats it for now! 🙂
Maybe my thoughts are beneficial to you too.

I appreciate everyone`s thoughts on the topic, and if u have some advice for me, I would be really grateful.

Thank you for your reading this!

 

Kind regards,

Nils

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

I remember some more things that I did in order to fight my addiction:

  • I found the courage to visit an information center and had two meetings where I talked with a social worker about my addiction but I didnt take much advise from there.
  • I installed the Firefox-AddOn "DF YouTube", which helps me spending less time browsing mindlessly
  • I am currently reading the "Respawn" Guide from Cam 🙂

 

In 1 month I will have my 3rd and final exam, then I am hopefully a doctor. From my experience during internships I guess I wont find much time to play video games as a fulltime doctor anyway. But since I got deep into LoL and went through years of overstimulation I somehow lost my energetic spirit, my "old me" that had no problems getting ready for homework or doing uncomfortable things that needed to be done. And I do not just want to be able to "resist" gaming, but truly overcome it!

Can someone relate to this?

Posted
7 hours ago, nils said:

my triggers? being on the internet / sitting in front of the PC

hello nils welcome to the forum my advice is get the triggers out of the house so you actually have to get up and leave to follow through with temptation and start writing to a gamequitter forum journal, the community accountability is a big help.

 

5 hours ago, nils said:

And I do not just want to be able to "resist" gaming, but truly overcome it!

Can someone relate to this?

on so many levels, I think a lot of us people here do.

Posted

Hello goodvibes, thanks for your reply and support!

I know triggers are a big issue. I only have one own room in my shared flat so its both my working and hobby room. I cant fully get around my PC and the internet because I need it for work too. One thing I do atm is to do study lessons in the clinic where I worked recently. I look for an empty room there and sit down in order to go through my notes. This way I am away from my own PC. I also uninstalled LoL and my Riot account is in deletion progress. A learning partner really helps but I moved to a new city recently and dont have many ppl around me that are also having the exam in May.

Do you have any further tips for how to avoid Youtube sessions where I sometimes feel the urge to search LoL content up? I already installed DF Youtube as I mentioned above and I deleted all memory tabs that lead to Youtube and every LoL related content in my browser search menu.

 

I just finished my first journal entry. 🙂 I am looking to write on a consistent basis, thanks for the advise. Accountability really is a big thing!

  • Like 1
Posted

Hi Nils,

you made a very wise and powerful decision to quit gaming. I can relate to a lot of what you said, especially to number 4. For me PC games also served as a tool to escape from real life problems and worries. But I realized that it made them worse because it lead to procrastination. I wish you a lot of success on your journey.

Kind regards

Posted

Thanks a lot, dear @Seneca123 ! Escapism might be one of the major reasons for a lot of people why they are gaming, I think. Writing all of these thoughts and reasons down has helped me already. It helped me visualizing the things and problems I need to address. Since you have also just joined the community, I want to wish you the best of luck and great success on your journey, too. 🙂 I can also relate to the things you wrote in your own journal, especially the aspect of feeling shame. But the fact we both are aware of our problems shows that we have at least some insight and understanding what is going on in our lifes right now, and that is a good thing because realizing the problem is the first step to improvement and taking action. 🙂

I am sure you will become a great teacher! Lets keep our journals updated and stay positive!

  • Like 1
Posted
On 4/6/2022 at 2:00 PM, nils said:

Do you have any further tips for how to avoid Youtube sessions where I sometimes feel the urge to search LoL content up? I already installed DF Youtube as I mentioned above and I deleted all memory tabs that lead to Youtube and every LoL related content in my browser search menu.

 

I just finished my first journal entry. 🙂 I am looking to write on a consistent basis, thanks for the advise. Accountability really is a big thing!

A full history and bookmark purge could be helpful by chance there's something in one of those to remind you about LoL / games. DF Tube is a big help though does it blank out the main YT page recommendations?  If it does not I would consider using a brand new account or not having an account due to recommendations being hyper tuned to old gaming habits.  I think using an rss reader is great to quickly get news from various places even YT without spending a whole lot of time searching.  Great job on starting a journal it will serve you good!

Posted

Thanks for the tips! I have never heard of an RSS reader tbh, I make sure to read up to that and see if it helps me with my goals and daily habits. Concerning DF Youtube, I activated all possible options: no feed and recommendations, no comments below videos, no sidebars. Its a complete black screen with only a search bar when I open it. And I dont have a YT account, never had one. Also no Facebook and instagram or snapchat, so social media isnt a big deal for me fortunately. 😄

 

  • Like 1

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