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My journey along the way


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Hi Cauliflower,

I find myself relapse/ having the most urge to game when I'm bored as well. It will take time but I believe you can find something to be your go-to activity to unwind.

I also would like to share with you an advice I heard from many on this site: do not be harsh to yourself. Relapse is part of the journey too. 

LostRiver

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, LostRiver said:

It will take time but I believe you can find something to be your go-to activity to unwind.

Thank you for your advice! Currently, the go-to activity that I can think of is music. I will be going to play some music later on after writing this entry. (Yes I felt the craving again so I came back here, which is super useful) Now I'm totally thinking about which piece should I play or listen to.

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Will be resuming back to my normal schedule with sports next week! Vacation's gonna start (and exams are gonna end) and there's a ton of things I want to accomplish during summer. Again, my major aim is to forget about games as well, will be starting another counter as soon as it starts.

Edited by cauliflower
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Hello there, just skimmed through some of your entries, and you’ve made a lot of awesome progress! Roblox was my game of choice for years as well, so we have a bit in common. Don’t beat yourself up for relapsing, it happens! Just look at how far you’ve come! Don’t look at it as a failure, see it as a learning opportunity. Now you know to fill your time with more engaging activities as to counteract the boredom you were dealing with. I’m only 2 days in, but I’ve really dived into drawing as my activity of choice (I’m a total novice, but even learning is exciting). I’ll be keeping up with your progress in the coming days. Keep going strong!

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On 7/12/2022 at 7:42 AM, Paul A. said:

Hello there, just skimmed through some of your entries, and you’ve made a lot of awesome progress! Roblox was my game of choice for years as well, so we have a bit in common. Don’t beat yourself up for relapsing, it happens! Just look at how far you’ve come! Don’t look at it as a failure, see it as a learning opportunity. Now you know to fill your time with more engaging activities as to counteract the boredom you were dealing with. I’m only 2 days in, but I’ve really dived into drawing as my activity of choice (I’m a total novice, but even learning is exciting). I’ll be keeping up with your progress in the coming days. Keep going strong!

Ok so I've relapsed entirely during last week when exams ended. Although I have been hanging out with friends and resuming my sports, I returned to roblox again. And after one week, I feel like I'm going back again and I haven't made much progress. I am comparing myself with the person I was last year. I didn't really see any changes, no matter it is in academic studies or other attributes. I am even doing worse than last year.

So I will start another 90-day detox today. Will be journaling here every day(apparently I need it) to stop myself from going back.

 

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Posted (edited)

2nd detox

Day 1: July 19th, 2022

I'm writing this to avoid diving back into games. I am disappointed about my results, and I decide to use the holiday for improvement. I will need to be preparing for college entrance exams soon, and this always makes me nervous when I realize I haven't done anything last year.

I have been draining too much dopamine into my brain last week, and I seriously need a cut for that. Now I'm going to continue on reading a novel series which I aim to finish reading by this summer. Then, I'm going to play some music soon after that and work on some chem. In the evening, I will be reading the series again and refresh my memory on python. Will be sleeping at 11:00pm tonight.

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"It always seems impossible until it is done." Nelson Mandela

I will always keep this in mind.

Edited by cauliflower
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Good luck cauliflower. I know the pain of relapse from addictions in my life. I find it important to remind myself that I'm still whole and worthwhile and that relapse doesn't define me or the journey I'm on.

Keep on keeping on 🙂 

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2 hours ago, cauliflower said:

Ok so I've relapsed entirely during last week when exams ended. Although I have been hanging out with friends and resuming my sports, I returned to roblox again. And after one week, I feel like I'm going back again and I haven't made much progress. I am comparing myself with the person I was last year. I didn't really see any changes, no matter it is in academic studies or other attributes. I am even doing worse than last year.

So I will start another 90-day detox today. Will be journaling here every day(apparently I need it) to stop myself from going back.

 

Have you contacted Roblox to delete your account? That’s what I did; I wanted to make sure there was no going back. Make it as difficult as possible for yourself to go back to gaming. Even if I were to go back to playing, I’ve lost all my progress on my favorite games, so it kind of defeats the purpose. Create the same arrangement for yourself.

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2 hours ago, Paul A. said:

Have you contacted Roblox to delete your account? That’s what I did; I wanted to make sure there was no going back. Make it as difficult as possible for yourself to go back to gaming. Even if I were to go back to playing, I’ve lost all my progress on my favorite games, so it kind of defeats the purpose. Create the same arrangement for yourself.

I've just contacted them and I should have done it earlier. Thanks for your advice!

 

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2nd detox

Day 2: July 20th, 2022

Today went quite well. Still replying to Roblox’s emails, and soon my account is going to be erased permanently. It feels relieving.

I have to think more positively.

Going to play some piano and continue on python.

Will also be revising new materials learnt today, which signals a new start (lol time flies).

 

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Posted (edited)

2nd detox

Day 3: July 21st, 2022

Said farewell to my teacher(they're leaving soon), I personally admire them.

Will be doing sports in the late afternoon, and reading some writing series. Will also be organizing my clothes later on, then do homework in the evening.

The detox went well, I'm gonna read for most of the time. It's maybe the most interesting and simplest way to improve my writing.

Successfully deleted my Roblox account, I can't find myself from the website now. All of my progress is deleted - that includes everything I've paid for. All my connections with online friends are gone. This really is a clean goodbye.

I anticipate having withdrawal symptoms in every ~20 days (that's when I got symptoms during the last detox), I will be paying special attention during those days, and I hope deleting the account can help.

Found a piece of news report interesting.

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Edited by cauliflower
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4 hours ago, cauliflower said:

Successfully deleted my Roblox account, I can't find myself from the website now. All of my progress is deleted - that includes everything I've paid for. All my connections with online friends are gone. This really is a clean goodbye.

Well done! By burning all your bridges, you’re displaying your commitment to quitting games for good. I’m proud of you

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2nd detox

Day 4: July 22nd, 2022

Nice day, no cravings at all. I will be going to a summer camp soon.

Just remembered I still have work due tomorrow. But I'll read then finish it later. I'm going to sleep early tonight.

------------------

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Posted (edited)

Goals:

Read 4 books by 31/8 (0/4)

Write one paragraph every day(handwriting) by 31/8 (0/40)

Read writing books every day by 31/8 (0/40)

Write by 31/8 (0/35)

Reading pracs every day (0/40)

Do past paper every day (0/40)

Practice one speaking prompt every day (0/40)

 

What do I want to improve:

Writing

Speaking

 

Who I want to become after the holiday:

A person with consistency, perseverance

A person with more confidence

A person who works hard 

A better person than I am now

 

What I want to achieve ultimately:

MBBS 

 

After 40 days, I’m gonna see if it works. I don’t expect big changes, but at least I want to see some difference.

-------------------

646 days left

Edited by cauliflower
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Well done for setting those goals! You’re already a step ahead of most by having written goals in place. Keep us posted

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Posted (edited)

2nd detox

Day 5: July 23rd, 2022

Nothing special to note. Will be writing entries every day.

Late night again...

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Goals:

Read 4 books by 31/8 (0/4)

Write one paragraph every day(handwriting) by 31/8 (1/40)

Read writing books every day by 31/8 (1/40)

Write by 31/8 (0/35)

Prac combo every day (1/40)

Do past qs every day (1/40)

Practice one speaking prompt every day (1/40)

Edited by cauliflower
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2nd detox

Day 6: July 24th, 2022

I hate being late.

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Goals:

Read 4 books by 31/8 (0/4)

Write one paragraph every day(handwriting) by 31/8 (2/40)

Read writings every day by 31/8 (2/40)

Write by 31/8 (1/35)

Prac combo every day (2/40)

Do past qs every day (2/40)

Practice one speaking prompt every day (2/40)

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2nd detox

Day 7: July 25th, 2022

Forcing myself to stay consistent. Still staying up late, will try to sleep earlier tomorrow. No cravings for games, yet I spent hours on yt

Planning for tomorrow's lunch.

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Goals:

Read 4 books by 31/8 (0/4)

Write one paragraph every day(handwriting) by 31/8 (3/40)

Read writings every day by 31/8 (3/40)

Write by 31/8 (1/35)

Prac combo every day (2/40)

Do past qs every day (3/40)

Practice one speaking prompt every day (2/40)

 

643

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Posted (edited)

2nd detox

Day 10: July 28th, 2022

These days were really chill

-----------------

Goals:

Read 4 books by 31/8 (0/4)

Write one paragraph (handwriting) by 31/8 (4/40)

Read writings by 31/8 (4/40)

Write by 31/8 (1/35)

Prac combo(2/40)

Do past qs  (5/40)

Practice one speaking prompt every day (2/40)

Edited by cauliflower
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  • 2 weeks later...

I confess that I relapsed again last week... But I'm going to continue the detox. It's better than doing nothing about it.

I spent a great time with my family today. 

Now I'm going to read and sleep afterwards.

 

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- focused for 5 hours 48 minutes 

- did a research writing about eyecare

- played badminton

- did a paper

- met a friend who I haven't seen for years

It's been 1 day since I played a video game

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