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My journey along the way


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Day 42: May 10th, 2022

Summary of the day:

- Wasted a lot of time on Youtube today and procrastinated schoolwork until evening, still managed to finish them; However, I don’t like procrastinating and I will plan my day carefully tomorrow

- No cravings for video games, no interest in them anymore, but I have to be careful of Youtube

 

Did I study? Yes (econ)

It's been 42 days since I played a video game

It's been 42 days since I watched porn

3 days till my next milestone! (45 days)

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Day 43: May 11th, 2022

Summary of the day:

- Productive today

- Studied for 2 hours after lunch, then played sports(I’m not going to specify) with my friends until dinner - it was a mood booster yet very exhausting; Still got a lot to improve

- I doubt myself again today. Am I just a piece of sh** or am I just focusing on my weaknesses? Sometimes I try to convince myself that everyone has strengths and so do I, but I can’t find anything I can excel at and everyone else seems to be good at something and better than me. It overwhelms me when I realize I have to improve that, improve this and that, and all other kinds of stuff. It stresses me out a lot whenever I thought of this 

- Yes I know this is kind of negative and repetitive, but this forum is such a good vent for feelings.

- No cravings for video games as well

Did I study? Yes (bio)

It's been 43 days since I played a video game

It's been 43 days since I watched porn

2 days till my next milestone! (45 days)

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Day 44: May 12th, 2022

Had quite a lot of free time in the evening and was basically watching yt; However I still finished school work in the afternoon. No cravings for video games.

Did I study? Yes (eng)

It's been 44 days since I played a video game

It's been 44 days since I watched porn

Last day till my next milestone! (45 days)

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Posted (edited)

Day 45: May 13th, 2022

Summary of the day:

Stood up late today and wasn’t productive enough.

No cravings for video games

Made it half way through! (45 days)
---------------------------
 

Day 46: May 14th, 2022

Was mainly outdoors today and was another busy Saturday. No cravings for video games. Will be having a test next week, I prepared some of it tonight, and will continue tomorrow.

Next milestone: 60 days

It's 14 days till my next milestone!

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 47: May 15th, 2022

Was not productive, but still no cravings for video games.

Will try to work harder tmr.

 

Day 48: May 16th, 2022 + Day 49 May 17th, 2022

On both days, I wasn’t productive AT ALL. Procrastinated on schoolwork until the last minutes in midnight, and had a really bad sleep. Realized I still have so much undone late at night. Then I started panicking, just like before.. I’ve just started playing chess and I was really obsessed with it these days and spent a whole lot of time on it, with the rest of the time spent on social media.. The only good thing was I didn’t have cravings for video games. Yet, I start to feel blank, the same feeling I had before. Uh I need to get back on track.

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Day 49: May 18th, 2022

Summary of the day:

Today was a great day! I rate 10 out of 10 for my current mood. 🙂

In general, school today was better than usual (I’m not going to explain)

Studied for an hour after school, then played sports until dinner. Again, it was exhausting but I like it! However, I wasn’t that hungry after sports (since I’ve drunk a bottle of sports drink), so I had a late dinner. 

 

At night, I played some chess again, and yes they were either draws or lost. But I love the process and it doesn’t bother me too much 🙂 since I'm a starter

Haven’t been touching python for quite a long time, so I revised the previous commands, and am planning to continue tomorrow 

After dinner, I prepared for a test the next day

 

Seems that playing sports is some sort of a mood booster and a great motivation to me.

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Day 50: May 19th, 2022

A normal school day with no cravings for video games. Studied two chs of biology in the afternoon then spent the night on listening to and playing music. Not much schoolwork to do today.

 

Next milestone: 60 days

It's 10 days till my next milestone!

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Posted (edited)

Day 51: May 20th, 2022

Did sports at school today but it wasn’t as enjoyable as before - it was tedious. Took a nap for an hour or so and volunteered this afternoon, then did a paper at night. Spent another hour on music. Wasn’t sleepy at night but I still tried to get to bed early. No cravings for video games.

Next milestone: 60 days

It's 9 days till my next milestone!

Edited by cauliflower
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  • cauliflower changed the title to My journey along the way

Day 52 + 53: May 21st + May 22nd, 2022

Both days were great because I mainly stayed with my family. Tried new restaurants and went to new places. Went back to chess again.

Next milestone: 60 days

It's 7 days till my next milestone!

 

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Posted (edited)

Day 54 + 55: May 23rd + May 24th, 2022

Had a lot of free time but didn’t want to study. Have been binge-watching again, but still no cravings for games.

I have to stick to my plans for sure.

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 56: May 25th, 2022

Did sports again. Love it, yet it’s tiring. Have to prepare for two tests coming tomorrow and on Friday -> the next few days will be busy. Was productive today in general and followed my plan. Will be having my finals soon, so I will be recalling previous topics. I don't like cramming at nights before exams.

Started reading another book that’s questionable. Interesting.


 

Day 57 + 58: May 26th + 27th, 2022

Have been really busy on Thursday - took an exam outside of school, then returned home in the late afternoon and wrote two essays, prepared a presentation as well as did revision and a practice paper for a test on the next day. Slept for 5 hours.

 

The test was more difficult than I’d expected, so as my other classmates. I'm trying to expect low on my results so I won't get too depressed if I overestimated myself. The harder the questions, the more obvious our abilities are. Continued to volunteer as usual.

 

No cravings for video games -  I watched some netflix for leisure. 

Next milestone: 60 days

It's 2 days till my next milestone!

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Posted (edited)

Day 59, 60: May 28th + 29th, 2022

A typical weekend.

 

Day 61: May 30th, 2022

Oh when will it be Friday again.

Got my result today and it was at the average, still got some room for improvement - luckily I didn’t fail

Wasn’t feeling as delighted as before because of low productivity. Currently I have lost my progress on all kinds of studying and I’ve been either daydreaming or wasting my time on social media. I procrastinated until the last minute possible before deadlines.. But still, I am continuing on my detox program no matter what. Getting closer and closer to the end!

 

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 14 days till my next milestone!

Edited by cauliflower
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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, cauliflower said:

Day 59, 60: May 28th + 29th, 2022

A typical weekend.

 

Day 61: May 30th, 2022

Oh when will it be Friday again.

Got my result today and it was at the average, still got some room for improvement - luckily I didn’t fail

Wasn’t feeling as delighted as before because of low productivity. Currently I have lost my progress on all kinds of studying and I’ve been either daydreaming or wasting my time on social media. I procrastinated until the last minute possible before deadlines.. But still, I am continuing on my detox program no matter what. Getting closer and closer to the end!

 

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 14 days till my next milestone!


You're doing great, keep at it! :) :)

As for the daydreaming - I wouldn't stress too much. The latest research shows that daydreaming can lead to greater success in the long run. 

Below is from a web article that summed it up pretty well. I hope you find it useful.  Good luck with your next milestone! You got this!!

"...For decades, experts assumed that when we daydreamed, our brains were dormant. But in fact, "when you give people nothing to do but let their minds drift, certain parts of the brain become even more active," says Jonathan Schooler, a psychology professor at the University of California–Santa Barbara.

A 2009 study that Schooler worked on showed that when individuals were given fMRI scans (the kind that measures blood flow to the brain) during periods of mind-wandering, two pathways lit up: the so-called default network, the part of the brain associated with emotionally loaded thought, and the executive network, the region used to engage in focused mental activity. In other words, when we daydream, it's the rare time when our touchy-feely and taskmaster minds are both "on," and the combination can yield powerful results...." 

Edited by Proxee
missed a letter from a word.
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On 5/30/2022 at 11:24 AM, cauliflower said:

But still, I am continuing on my detox program no matter what. Getting closer and closer to the end!

 

Next milestone: 75 days

I will reach 75 days tomorrow. If I can do it, you can do it as well! 🙂 I wish you the best of luck dealing with your procrastination. It is okay from time to time unless it affects your overall study performance or keeps you from doing other important daily activities.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/30/2022 at 8:04 PM, Proxee said:

You're doing great, keep at it! 🙂 🙂

As for the daydreaming - I wouldn't stress too much. The latest research shows that daydreaming can lead to greater success in the long run. 

Thanks and hope you'll keep at it too! Also thanks for doing extra research :):) 

 

10 hours ago, nils said:

I will reach 75 days tomorrow. If I can do it, you can do it as well! 🙂 I wish you the best of luck dealing with your procrastination. It is okay from time to time unless it affects your overall study performance or keeps you from doing other important daily activities.

I've got this and you too!!

-----------------------------------

Haven't got the mood to update journals here these days, but I'll get it updated soon. 

I guess I'll be updating journals every two to three days and combine them together, especially during the last few weeks before my finals.

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 62, 63, 64: May 31st, June 1st, 2nd 2022

Normal school days but my computer was malfunctioning. It crashed a lot recently, so I did some research and got a fix on that. Hope it’ll go well.

 

Day 65: June 3rd, 2022

It has been a long time since I had a casual talk with my dad. Went for a walk in a nearby park after dinner for around an hour, and we shared a lot of our thoughts together. I really treasure these moments since we rarely had free time or the right occasions to have a casual chat. I’ve learned a lot from him, about life, career, and relationships. Tomorrow I’ll be going to finish all my schoolwork, and I will not procrastinate. I need to get them done before Sunday.

My detox is going very well, and I am definitely not going to give up. NEVER. It feels like a miracle to reach 65 days, and I am not going to destroy it.

 

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 10 days till my next milestone!

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Posted (edited)

Day 66: June 4th, 2022

Chatted with an online friend today who I haven’t been in contact with for so long. Updated my computer and the entire interface changed, looks like I have to get used to it soon. Slept very well and stood up late in the morning. The afternoon was mainly spent on a meeting, then I used the rest of my time on schoolwork.

What I'm grateful/happy for:

- I'm alive and healthy

- Listened to my favorite soothing music

- Ate my favorite fruit

- Slept well

- finally came.

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 9 days till my next milestone!

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 67: June 5th, 2022

Things I’ve done today:

- Applied for a medical programme. Hope I’ll get accepted! 

- Rewrote an essay to improve

- Did revision for a test tomorrow

- Read 10 pages of a book today

- Made some plans for the coming weeks

 

What I’m happy/grateful for:

- I’m alive and healthy

- Peaceful at home

- Did exercise in the evening

- Wore new clothes

- No cravings for video games

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 8 days till my next milestone!

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Posted (edited)

Day 68, 69, 70: June 6th, 7th, 8th 2022

What I’m happy/grateful for:

- Have revised for 4 hours today (comparing with doing nothing)

- Staying healthy, eating healthy food

- Spent an average of 1 hour per day on writings

- Reading every day

- Found the Atomic habits cheatsheet, which gave me some motivation to work hard and create new habits - gained new insights on how to work effectively too

 

Next milestone: 75 days

It's 5 days till my next milestone!

Edited by cauliflower
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Posted (edited)

Day 71 - 74: June 9th - 12th, 2022

A typical weekend with a moderate number of tasks to do. I found it difficult to concentrate during weekends - I ended up procrastinating again. So I pushed all the work to Sunday, and I still managed to finish them.

 

I’m only about two weeks till I finish the entire program. I won’t be going back to roblox ever again. First it’s because my computer doesn’t have much space left. Second, it's crashing more frequently than before. Third, I feel degraded when I know the fact that I’m actually playing with a bunch of 8-year-old kids. 

Lastly and most importantly, I’ve read an article today that says the CEOs of gaming companies never allow their own children to dive into games. Of course they won’t lol. They know the harmful consequences the best, cause they are the ones who invented these addictive games. They are great psychologists who know exactly what we’re craving for - challenges and success.

How selfish are they? They’re using daily awards, challenges, and the fake sense of achievement to pull us into the abyss of addiction, to make us ignore our progress in reality, while they earn huge profits and their children are being more and more successful lol.  I feel so dumb and angry jumping into this trap and sacrificing all my precious time in it. 

 

Last day till my milestone ! (75 days)

Edited by cauliflower
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Posted (edited)

Day 75 - 80: June 13th - 18th, 2022

My finals are coming soon, my other schoolmates are already preparing while I don't feel like studying at the moment.. Tests and schoolwork are piling up, and I have quite a number of projects due on Monday.

Will be adjusting my sleep schedule starting from tonight, hopefully creating a good habit of sleeping early during my exams. (I still remember cramming before the nights last year - i slept at 1 and woke up at 5 for almost the whole week..) It will not happen again.

-----------------

10 days till I finish the entire detox 

 

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 81 - 85: June 19th - 23th, 2022

Lol still can't believe i'm near the end. It doesn't feel real yet it's real. Have been sleeping early these days, at around 11-1130 pm. Have been really surprised by the effect. My mind was a lot clearer than before and I would certainly love my brain to function properly every day instead of being so drowsy. Aiming to get on bed at 1030-11pm tonight, since I don't have much to do today.

Was in a pretty good mood today. :)) (comparing with disasters in previous days..)

Will be continue counting my days without games after the detox as well. 

-----------------

5 days to go!

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Posted (edited)

Day 86 - 90: June 24th - 28th, 2022

So it's been 90 days without gaming in Roblox, and I have successfully finished the entire detox! Great thanks to myself for not giving up especially when I had withdrawal symptoms, and also thanks to everyone who have supported me along the way.🙂

Well, my exams are around the corner and I guess I will continue on this detox. Will be keeping my entries here short.

-----------------------

Yes I've done it, and it is my first step to self discipline. I believe I can still move on and improve in the future. Maybe I will be starting another counter on creating another habit (haven't decided yet).

Edited by cauliflower
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Day 91- 98: June 29th - July 6th, 2022

One week left to go 

Uh

It's so noisy here these days, can't really concentrate.. Lots of constructions

-----------

One good thing was that I didn't cram this time. Will be sleeping early tonight too.

 

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Posted (edited)

July 10th, 2022

So the worst case scenario I had been really afraid of really happened - relapsing during the period in which I have to concentrate the most.

 

I had my first relapse yesterday since March. I went back to roblox again. The thing is, there wasn’t any visual trigger that brought me back, it’s purely my own boredom. I think it’s like those withdrawal symptoms I had before. I still remember the intense struggle before I downloaded the software again, I was telling myself, I will only be playing for 15 minutes. But one hour passed by until my mum had a sudden check on me. It was at that time I realized how uncontrollable it is, so I immediately deleted it, and for the rest of the day, I kept thinking how bad and damaging it is to stop myself from going back.

 

Today, it also took me quite some effort to stop myself from leaning into it. I’ve done everything I could to make it arduous to be reached: setting website blockers and literally shutting down my pc. This is a really effective way, and so I haven’t been touching it today. Will be doing the same until exam ends.

 

I won’t be playing even after exams, I will be watching some series I like instead. I hate the guilt after playing, it’s so overwhelming that no matter how satisfying was the gaming process, it still covers them.

 

I wrote this entry when I felt the craving for roblox. Writing journals and current thoughts here has helped me a lot with the cravings and it has honestly alleviated the symptoms. Thank god I am spending time here rather than playing some useless games.

 

Edited by cauliflower
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