Introducing myself

[Shell]

Hi there,

 Aussie here who officially quit gaming last night and downloaded the respawn book straight away.. I am so glad I found it as I sure feel like I am going to need the support.  

I got into games heavily about 7 years ago when I met my husband, who introduced me to Clash of Clans.  I had dabbled in games many times before this but it was never an issue.  My husband had a terrible addiction to the point that he spent thousands of dollars without thought and was on it constantly, he quit but soon took up a different game in secret and spent even more money on that one...   He ended up in therapy for it and gave up totally about 4 years ago and has not looked back.  I gave up at the same time to support him but was playing small scale games on the side when I got bored.  

I own my own business and have been feeling dissatisfied and bored with it for many years now and have thought many times about getting out and doing something else but lack the confidence to do it... Then I found Forge of Empires about a year ago.   I have never felt so addicted to anything in my life.  I think about it at work, play between clients and as soon as I get home, I am on the computer for hours until my husband gets home from work.  I am playing it while we are out, while i watch tv and when I first wake up in the morning.  I quit about 4 months ago for 1 month but as soon as I got bored and frustrated at work, I got back onto it, thinking I would control it this time and not let it take over.  It worked for a while but this week, I realise that I am right back where I was and getting worse.

The reason I want to quit games all together because I can see how sophisticated these games are getting at playing on our vulnerabilities and it scares me how easily I slot into this.  It hurts to see my life slipping by with nothing to show for it.   I am putting no effort into real life people or hobbies anymore.  I want to achieve things in real life, not sit on my computer clicking buttons, getting highs from a false sense of achievement.  

My main goal now that I have quit is to face my ptsd demons fully (I haven't even been honest with my therapist about playing again) and to have my time back to spend doing things for myself to improve my life instead of burying my head in the sand.  Hopefully through this I can gain the confidence to start socialising again and eventually find other things I am interested in and find healthier ways to keep my brain interested and stimulated.  I must admit, I am feeling quite scared of the void for now though!

Also, I am stuck on step one in Respawn of deleting my game account!  I feel ashamed and worried about not being able to do this yet!

Edited January 12, 2022 by Sonya

[Amphibian220]

Delete that account! There is nothing more exciting than stepping on this path to recovery!

Go, go, go!

[Shell]

Thank you for the support Amphibian 🙂