I am confused; I don't even know what to do! Gaming Addiction

[Envy]

Hey everyone, I guess you might be confused at the title, but let me tell my story.

So, I am 21 years old and I feel this kind of attraction (close to addiction), to play a new game on my pc. So I search up the internet and spend some hours looking for a game to play on and after getting a game I start playing it.

Within the next few days, I feel like "It's a good game but I will spend too much time on it". So I feel like it's a burden for me to play that game any longer as I am just wasting my time and try to complete it as fast as I can (usually missing out the experience and just trying to speedrun my first try of the game).

I don't usually quit the game halfway as I spend my resources on this game, so I feel obligated to complete the game.

So when the game is finally over, I relax for next 2 days and then again the urge continues to download a new game and the cycle repeats.

And to be honest I am annoyed of my new covid-time cycle, it seems that I have no control over my life. I wake up, eat, study (bare minimum), game, eat, sleep and the cycle continues.

I feel like I have too much time on hand and don't understand the value of it, I know that I should focus my time on my career. I don't even have hobbies anymore. I am just...confused and I don't know what to do :(

[Amphibian220]

“Power of habit” by Duhigg,

Read one chapter a day and write down the summary of it in a notebook. Try to see how the book relates to your system traps. But share with us how it has helped you.

[pdallair91]

I'm not an expert but it's normal for something that is initially pleasant to feel less and less so.  The same can be said about things that make us feel bad.  You know us humans, we kind of naturally just "get used" to things.  This phenomenon is called hedonic adaptation.

The more toxic of these cycles are those we excessively turn to, continuously chasing that initiall pleasant experience we once had, despite the consequences.

When we break one of these cycles it's normal to feel lost.  The reality is that we have some catching up to do.  We nees to identify and cultivate what we truly value, what truly makes us happy and nobody can more accurately answer these questions for you than yourself.  Luckily you seem blessed with self-awareness and at such a young age.  You should congratulate yourself for that self-awareness and the desire to grow and improve your life.  These are really important traits that are worth cultivating and maintaining.

Just give yourself some time.  Go out.  Try new things, meet new people.  In other words: experiment!  You will learn a lot about yourself in the process, what's important to you, what you'd can and would like to change about yourself by acquiring knowledge and skills.  If you find this too difficult maybe a psychotherapist can help you identify what's slowing you down and what you could do to help yourself in that regard.

Anyways, good luck and take care.