Week 0, Day 1

Projects:

Simulating Platform

Miscellaneous accomplishments:

None

Summary of  Day 1

Hey all posting after few years will be off but here we go...

As you might expect me posting after2,5 year.... i relapsed soon after my last post . At that time I somehow convinced myself I'm ok and this whole being addicted bulshit doesn't pertain to me, as I can control it . So I went all and bought PS5... with battlefield V game . It was 08.2023. I don't want to tell the whole story as don't want to bore you. On the beginning in the first year or so it worked , I read books still, enjoyed life not just games , played occasionally.

Now in almost a year , I have some personal and marriage problems , also problems at work. I have huge motivational problems. And what I'm doing is I play whenever I have free time ( even at work) . I noticed I don't do anything really in my free time apart from gaming ...

What is worst I think is across these 2 and half years my addicted self secured the situation by telling my closest friends that I wasn't addicted and not sure why I labelled myself as such... ( only now to tell them again I was right) so I don't know how to tell them I had real problem seriously , they will think I'm unreliable person. Edit: I realized I don't own anyone any explanation. Ofc if they will ask I will tell them, IF they ask why I think I'm addicated I will also tell them, if they will still believe it is all good, well I'm not sure ...

I feel awful . I'm angry at myself and I want to cry .

I don't know how to handle it for now. All I know gaming again is screwing my life . Im thinking of selling PS5, relapsign woudl be hard as my new pc cannot be gamign machine at all
I just feel and my instinct tells me that, I loos e a lot bc of gaming, all my potential wasted now. I feel lik I live now with 15% avaialble efficencey and capacity.

I'm sorry for unsorted thoughts but I cannnot think about anything else than gaming now and wanted to do this entry as a last attempt to again save myself and reclaim the control of my life

Day one of not playing .

Edited January 11Jan 11 by reader

Hello reader and welcome.

It is inacceptable to stop communicating if you feel you are about to relapse. You may relapse under strain of stress, but it is your responsibility to continue posting to get members to ignite your bravery.

Becoming a warrior is about bravery so you have to continue. This forum is a powerful place to prevent and address relapses so continue posting and speak to safe people (trustworthy from your inner circle) who can wisely support you.

Your success Reader, will enable many other members of your community quit harmful habits in Poland. Do not let the enemy isolate you.

You have to get back on track with the right literature, physical, diet plan, work. You have to do this for support to work. Without your brave effort, support cannot work.

Thanks @Amphibian220 and sorry for not doing so. It jsut i was really convinced I'm imagining being addicted and thought I could have it under control. I had solid plan , and in first few months was playing only occasionally so it all worked out. It was naive of me to believe in that . At least I know now I will be gamed addicted until end of my life and nothing will change that . It's a disease like alkoluoizm. I know many alcoholics in my circle and I'm acting the same way with gaming. I'm so ashamed that I refused to admit that . My plan is to post regularly as last time only touch with ppl with similar experience kept me out of playing . Thanks again mate for kind words and all the best

Edited January 11Jan 11 by reader

There can be different causes of a relapse.

One of them is long term mediocre goals. You have to plan long term major goals for your well being,

Mediocre long term goals may trigger a relapse after some months or a few years because they affect morale.

Quitters who start to produce meaning for their close ones, they get the results that keep the morale high and prevent stagnation.

When a warrior has lost morale, it means he has been timid to probe and ask the right questions.

Week 0, Day 2

Projects:

Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.

Miscellaneous accomplishments:

I went to the gym first time in 2 weeks. I plan to keep reguralt attendence

Summary of  Day 2

I woke up with the remorse and feeling of being defeated . Also Before sleep, scenes from BF V game were spamming my mind, I could not sleep properly. I did not even think about them, they were just there... I did some chores I supposed to do long ago, but had not as playing was always more important. Then I hit the gym and it felt good. I did full trening without skipping a single excercise. I also spent some time with my wife and son. I did not tell my 2 closest friends that I am doing detox from gaming. So for now only ppl I have to support me are coming from this forum. I packed my PS5 and did a selling offer on some portal. Before I did that, I restored it to defualt setup and clearing any opersonal data.
That's it, I don't have much. I plan to do long entry this week, as I have done some analysis of myself and my addiction vulnerability. It will contain some scientific backgroud, I will write as I think I learn enough, why this happend and why this relapse lasted for 2,5 year... Anyways, until next time. Cheers

Edited January 16Jan 16 by reader

Week 0, Day 3

Projects:

Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.

Miscellaneous accomplishments:

I went to the gym again today. Felt poweful.

Summary of  Day 3

It was day with some thougthjs about BF V. IT still sits in me. Apart from going to gym, not much I did today, as had to come for my kid from kindergarden earlier due to his stomach issues.

What is the simulating platform about?

I know that game designers can fall back into playing games, so it is better for them to change their profession.

Edit: you cannot have alcohol takers or gamers in your circle. It creates way too much pressure to join. Cameron had a vlog dedicated to this issue and he said it is best to create a new circle where your friends do not follow harmful habits.

Edited January 13Jan 13 by Amphibian220

3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

What is the simulating platform about?

I know that game designers can fall back into playing games, so it is better for them to change their profession.

Edit: you cannot have alcohol takers or gamers in your circle. It creates way too much pressure to join. Cameron had a vlog dedicated to this issue and he said it is best to create a new circle where your friends do not follow harmful habits.

Very true. I have friends who enjoy alcohol, and it's very tough for me not to drink whilst I'm with them. It's doable, but it's much easier to find friends that don't drink, probably.

Hey so with alcohol as long as I don't drink, it's not bc I was addicted . It was choice to be more healthy and actually alcohols bores me as fuck. Don't see any positives there. Also many of my colleagues drinks occasionally and I never had an urge to try it .

With simulation. It's something I started in may 2025. It has some common tricks from games yes. But the simulation is about simulating incidnets . I am very experienced incidnet manager since I wanted to try with the platform that can mimic the real experience . So it's more ITSM related than games . It's designed partially in gamified way, but mostly focus on training incidnet manager skills rather than hook someone into gaming .

Edited January 14Jan 14 by reader

Also this idea have real market value potential . So it is hard for me to drop it as I  put a lot of effort in designing it . Ofc Iam aware that it can cause urge to relapse. If that happens . I will be focusing on redesigning it rather than dropping completely 

Week 0, Day 4

Projects:

Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.

Miscellaneous accomplishments:

None

Summary of  Day 4

I had some cravings, rememebr how good I was at bf how fun I had with online friends... This come back to me with force now - I mean cravings. Again I am asking myself why cannot I play like normal dude. This led to frustration, I was irritated all day. Even when I was playing with my son, I very quickly triggered on something really irrelevant. I felt bad bc of that , as that wasn't fault of my kid. But I manage . What helps is that i packed PS5 - noone bought it yet tho. But it was tough day in terms of emotions and lack of dopamnie spikes that BF was giving.

Your mind will be cleared of all the game habits, but you must have people that you can work with to help you.

It can be a team, work colleagues, family, neighbours. If that connection happens on a regular basis and with a degree of mutual support and trust, it is good enough to change your way of life.