January 11Jan 11 Author Week 0, Day 1Projects:Simulating PlatformMiscellaneous accomplishments:NoneSummary of Day 1Hey all posting after few years will be off but here we go...As you might expect me posting after2,5 year.... i relapsed soon after my last post . At that time I somehow convinced myself I'm ok and this whole being addicted bulshit doesn't pertain to me, as I can control it . So I went all and bought PS5... with battlefield V game . It was 08.2023. I don't want to tell the whole story as don't want to bore you. On the beginning in the first year or so it worked , I read books still, enjoyed life not just games , played occasionally.Now in almost a year , I have some personal and marriage problems , also problems at work. I have huge motivational problems. And what I'm doing is I play whenever I have free time ( even at work) . I noticed I don't do anything really in my free time apart from gaming ...What is worst I think is across these 2 and half years my addicted self secured the situation by telling my closest friends that I wasn't addicted and not sure why I labelled myself as such... ( only now to tell them again I was right) so I don't know how to tell them I had real problem seriously , they will think I'm unreliable person. Edit: I realized I don't own anyone any explanation. Ofc if they will ask I will tell them, IF they ask why I think I'm addicated I will also tell them, if they will still believe it is all good, well I'm not sure ...I feel awful . I'm angry at myself and I want to cry .I don't know how to handle it for now. All I know gaming again is screwing my life . Im thinking of selling PS5, relapsign woudl be hard as my new pc cannot be gamign machine at allI just feel and my instinct tells me that, I loos e a lot bc of gaming, all my potential wasted now. I feel lik I live now with 15% avaialble efficencey and capacity.I'm sorry for unsorted thoughts but I cannnot think about anything else than gaming now and wanted to do this entry as a last attempt to again save myself and reclaim the control of my lifeDay one of not playing . Edited January 11Jan 11 by reader
January 11Jan 11 Hello reader and welcome.It is inacceptable to stop communicating if you feel you are about to relapse. You may relapse under strain of stress, but it is your responsibility to continue posting to get members to ignite your bravery.Becoming a warrior is about bravery so you have to continue. This forum is a powerful place to prevent and address relapses so continue posting and speak to safe people (trustworthy from your inner circle) who can wisely support you.Your success Reader, will enable many other members of your community quit harmful habits in Poland. Do not let the enemy isolate you.You have to get back on track with the right literature, physical, diet plan, work. You have to do this for support to work. Without your brave effort, support cannot work.
January 11Jan 11 Author Thanks @Amphibian220 and sorry for not doing so. It jsut i was really convinced I'm imagining being addicted and thought I could have it under control. I had solid plan , and in first few months was playing only occasionally so it all worked out. It was naive of me to believe in that . At least I know now I will be gamed addicted until end of my life and nothing will change that . It's a disease like alkoluoizm. I know many alcoholics in my circle and I'm acting the same way with gaming. I'm so ashamed that I refused to admit that . My plan is to post regularly as last time only touch with ppl with similar experience kept me out of playing . Thanks again mate for kind words and all the best Edited January 11Jan 11 by reader
January 12Jan 12 There can be different causes of a relapse.One of them is long term mediocre goals. You have to plan long term major goals for your well being,Mediocre long term goals may trigger a relapse after some months or a few years because they affect morale.Quitters who start to produce meaning for their close ones, they get the results that keep the morale high and prevent stagnation. When a warrior has lost morale, it means he has been timid to probe and ask the right questions.
January 12Jan 12 Author Week 0, Day 2Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:I went to the gym first time in 2 weeks. I plan to keep reguralt attendenceSummary of Day 2I woke up with the remorse and feeling of being defeated . Also Before sleep, scenes from BF V game were spamming my mind, I could not sleep properly. I did not even think about them, they were just there... I did some chores I supposed to do long ago, but had not as playing was always more important. Then I hit the gym and it felt good. I did full trening without skipping a single excercise. I also spent some time with my wife and son. I did not tell my 2 closest friends that I am doing detox from gaming. So for now only ppl I have to support me are coming from this forum. I packed my PS5 and did a selling offer on some portal. Before I did that, I restored it to defualt setup and clearing any opersonal data.That's it, I don't have much. I plan to do long entry this week, as I have done some analysis of myself and my addiction vulnerability. It will contain some scientific backgroud, I will write as I think I learn enough, why this happend and why this relapse lasted for 2,5 year... Anyways, until next time. Cheers Edited January 16Jan 16 by reader
January 13Jan 13 Author Week 0, Day 3Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:I went to the gym again today. Felt poweful. Summary of Day 3 It was day with some thougthjs about BF V. IT still sits in me. Apart from going to gym, not much I did today, as had to come for my kid from kindergarden earlier due to his stomach issues.
January 13Jan 13 What is the simulating platform about?I know that game designers can fall back into playing games, so it is better for them to change their profession.Edit: you cannot have alcohol takers or gamers in your circle. It creates way too much pressure to join. Cameron had a vlog dedicated to this issue and he said it is best to create a new circle where your friends do not follow harmful habits. Edited January 13Jan 13 by Amphibian220
January 13Jan 13 3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:What is the simulating platform about?I know that game designers can fall back into playing games, so it is better for them to change their profession.Edit: you cannot have alcohol takers or gamers in your circle. It creates way too much pressure to join. Cameron had a vlog dedicated to this issue and he said it is best to create a new circle where your friends do not follow harmful habits.Very true. I have friends who enjoy alcohol, and it's very tough for me not to drink whilst I'm with them. It's doable, but it's much easier to find friends that don't drink, probably.
January 14Jan 14 Author Hey so with alcohol as long as I don't drink, it's not bc I was addicted . It was choice to be more healthy and actually alcohols bores me as fuck. Don't see any positives there. Also many of my colleagues drinks occasionally and I never had an urge to try it .With simulation. It's something I started in may 2025. It has some common tricks from games yes. But the simulation is about simulating incidnets . I am very experienced incidnet manager since I wanted to try with the platform that can mimic the real experience . So it's more ITSM related than games . It's designed partially in gamified way, but mostly focus on training incidnet manager skills rather than hook someone into gaming . Edited January 14Jan 14 by reader
January 14Jan 14 Author Also this idea have real market value potential . So it is hard for me to drop it as I put a lot of effort in designing it . Ofc Iam aware that it can cause urge to relapse. If that happens . I will be focusing on redesigning it rather than dropping completely
January 14Jan 14 Author Week 0, Day 4Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:NoneSummary of Day 4I had some cravings, rememebr how good I was at bf how fun I had with online friends... This come back to me with force now - I mean cravings. Again I am asking myself why cannot I play like normal dude. This led to frustration, I was irritated all day. Even when I was playing with my son, I very quickly triggered on something really irrelevant. I felt bad bc of that , as that wasn't fault of my kid. But I manage . What helps is that i packed PS5 - noone bought it yet tho. But it was tough day in terms of emotions and lack of dopamnie spikes that BF was giving.
January 20Jan 20 Your mind will be cleared of all the game habits, but you must have people that you can work with to help you. It can be a team, work colleagues, family, neighbours. If that connection happens on a regular basis and with a degree of mutual support and trust, it is good enough to change your way of life.
January 23Jan 23 Author Day 12Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. Don't want to do too many things at time right after I stopped gaming. Just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:Hit regularity with gymSummary of Day 12Sorry for not posting for a while. It was busy and difficult time for me at the same time. During these few days, I noticed I felt deep boredom. Also read in some smart book ( "Never Enough" By Judy Grisel) that boredom is a totally natural and healthy state of humans and we should embrace it, as actually this state helps to regulate our baseline dopamine level. But when I was playing I was so obsessed I think ( subconsciously) to not be bored, ei: in the meantime of game final summary ( literally 90s) I immediately scrolled through instagram wall ). So now I am experiencing the withdrawal effect from that as well. I am embracing boredom, that's what I am saying. When it comes to gaming, I noticed it get easier ( finally) but cravings are there. A variety of thoughts springs to my mind, to only start convincing me that I am again trying to make a big deal out of nothing...Luckily I am able to put aside these thoughts. Anyhow I was busy as well as preparing for the job interview that I have today. It's for Team Leader. That position is a huge opportunity for me,. so for 2 days I am preparing as much as I can.Thanks to @Pulse I decided to keep a dumbscrolling commitment as well. I am planning to be porn free too. But I will take my time on that.Game Free: 12 daysDumbscrolling free: 19 days Edited January 23Jan 23 by reader
January 23Jan 23 Author On 1/20/2026 at 8:50 PM, Amphibian220 said:Your mind will be cleared of all the game habits, but you must have people that you can work with to help you.It can be a team, work colleagues, family, neighbours. If that connection happens on a regular basis and with a degree of mutual support and trust, it is good enough to change your way of life.Thanks @Amphibian220 I actually told me wife. We had deep discussion and I told her that I need support. She is on my side, I told her with full embarrassment what situation that involved gaming and how sick it was what I was doing sometimes... for her to finally agree that " yeah this was unhealthy". So far I still have not told my buddies yet. I am planning too but want to have a proper occasion. I am sure they will support me in that.
January 24Jan 24 You have to be careful who you choose to share with the problem. It may affect your position at work (the way superiors consider you).Support and connection can happen just from helping a neighbour or talking with your family members about general matters.
January 24Jan 24 Author Day 14Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. I don't want to do too many things at the same time right after I stop gaming. I just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:Hit regularity with gymSummary of Day 142 weeks done without gaming and 3 weeks without dumbscrolling like a zombie. I must admit that the cravings are less intensive only a little bit. But somehow I find myself managing this well. Despite side effects being irritated quicker, intense boredom like never before, I noticed I have more time to contemplate my life, like where it;s going. I found myself putting more time into thinking about some decisions. Also, the interview I had y-day, for which I had limited time to prepare for - I think I used that time to the maximum. So even if they say no to the last stage ( facing the director) , I still can say with pride that I did not waste my time on that one! Something I would totally have ignored ( prepared 100%) when I was still gaming. I bet ( know myself-addicted very well) that I would prepare to some level - then obviously would have given myself a reward very quickly - ironically enough I would say to myself that I deserve that, as I'm under huge stress not only bc of work but this interview.... all bollocks. Anyhows If I would to summarize these first 2 weeks, I would say I am managing it well. Btw also this time thanks to a video from @Cam Adair from 7m ago("How to Stop Playing Video Games ( Full Guide)" ), I took seriously the important things you must do when quitting. I am regularly watching the content there - as this keeps me motivated as well. It's a journey I know, and a lot of difficulties ahead of me but I am on a good path this time ( I believe), and this time I have good tools and methods alongside me.Dumbscrolling free: 21 days Edited January 24Jan 24 by reader
January 24Jan 24 Author 10 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:You have to be careful who you choose to share with the problem. It may affect your position at work (the way superiors consider you).Support and connection can happen just from helping a neighbour or talking with your family members about general matters.@Amphibian220totally agree with you bro on this one. I have resposne prepared for those who would ask me on the details of me quitting: I'm just bored with games. Will not say anything more really. As I don't own any explanation to anyone actually and also it's pointless to argue why I'm doing this ( they won't understand). Edited January 24Jan 24 by reader
January 31Jan 31 Author Day 21Projects:Simulating Platform: On hold now as I need to fight properly with cravings. I don't want to do too many things at the same time right after I stop gaming. I just want to take it slow.Miscellaneous accomplishments:N/ASummary of Day 21So 3 weeks passed. I'm glad I'm keeping the commitment. I do have cravings still, it's not like I think about them all the time, but I kinda miss gaming.. miss that chill, disconnection from reality... Anyhow trying to get myself occupied with something and I go forward. I jsut hope my biggest relapse will be at some point only a bad dream. I really dream to be in a few years from now, and telling this story to some friends as a kind of warning for those who suffer from addiction.Dumbscrolling free: 28 days
February 7Feb 7 Author Week 4Projects:Simulating Platform: I resumed the work and I had some good fruitfull sessions. Still a lot of work to be done but slowly progressing. Miscellaneous accomplishments:N/ASummary of Week 4Although I had cravings - especially today, I managed to stay game free. I slowly return to reading books as well. Things are not easy without gaming, as I feel I miss a big part of my life, also gaming was part of my identity. Luckily what helps me now is the knowledge, scientific knowledge especially of addiction. I just want time to do its job and it will be easier. Dumbscrolling free: 5 weeks
February 10Feb 10 On 2/7/2026 at 11:49 PM, reader said:Things are not easy without gaming, as I feel I miss a big part of my life, also gaming was part of my identity.Can most definitely, absolutely feel everything you're saying. All previously experienced thoughts and feelings.Seemingly, it must be so it is a part of the process. Butterflies need to go to a cacoon to transform from a worm to a butterfly. And muscles need to be broken to be built stronger. So it is.On 2/7/2026 at 11:49 PM, reader said:I just want time to do its job and it will be easier. Once it becomes a habit it gets more automatic in my experience. And yes, there are even whole months where not a single gaming image comes to mind. Again, in my experience :)Keep at it my brother in arms. My heart is with your struggles, and therefore with you. Cheering for your prevail over the enemy!Yan
February 14Feb 14 Author Week 5Projects:Simulating Platform: Slow progress this week as I had a lot of workload at work. Also still not fully healthy as recovering from flu. Miscellaneous accomplishments:N/ASummary of Week 5This week was the worst in terms of cravings. I just miss gaming crazy badly. PS5 is still packed and left in shelf as nobody bought it yet, and I had few moments when I wante to just open it plug in and just say fuck it and play.... Did not break tho. The problem is I'm too ambitious. Still want to gain knowledge on several science topics that requires to read dozens of books , still want to finish Sim to proof myself that I can build working platform from scratch also still have gym goal.... and I know that when I return to gaming, none of these goal will be finished I just know, bc gaming will always take priority. ALWAYS. So for now I will use will power to fight cravings, but I don;t know for how long I will be able to do that.... Dumbscrolling free: 6 weeks
February 14Feb 14 4 hours ago, reader said:PS5 is still packed and left in shelf as nobody bought it yetI would consider selling it or bringing it back to the store. Eliminate the need for discipline. It is frustrating to have a temptation in front of your nose and reachable...4 hours ago, reader said:and I know that when I return to gaming, none of these goal will be finished I just know, bc gaming will always take priority. ALWAYSAgreed4 hours ago, reader said:but I don;t know for how long I will be able to do that.... No-one knows. It is what makes it so exciting! If it were obvious you wouldn't be proud of yourself for accomplishing it. I do however really suggest you just give the PS5 back to the store or give it away to someone o sell in second-hand(Better one of the former though, because they're quicker)
February 19Feb 19 Author Thanks @Yan Yes I successfully sold PS5. Thanks for backing up, when I saw your journal and how many days you are succeeding in so many commitments; I mean that's admirable. I wish I could be in that place someday. But currently I feel a deep emptiness after gaming, I don;t know how to properly fill it, I thought I knew, but.... I started to play chess quickly when I stopped gaming, but It quickly turned out that I am hooked again into something. In my head I started to replace this with gaming.... WAs looking for that chill. I stopped as quickly noticed that I need significantly amount of time for practise chess, and as long as I was good ( well 50% loses 50% victories :D ) I decided to stop before going deep there, as again I made some other commitments I want to stick to, like gym goals to bulk up and finish my simulation platform . So it's done, PS5 is gone. My current PC is a business pc, cannot play anything there, so If I would like to relapseI would need to try really hard. .
February 21Feb 21 Author Week 6Projects:Sim Platform: Despite a heavy workload and daily responsibilities, I made solid progress on the Sim platform this week. I kept momentum and moved things forward in a meaningful way.Gym: I am doing my cut for the last week and am now returning to a long-term bulking phase startign March. The plan is to stay in this phase for at least a year and focus on consistent strength and size gains.Miscellaneous accomplishments:I had a strong gym week , trained 5 days in a row and maintained my calorie targetAt the same time, I kept advancing the Sim projectSummary of Week 6I sold my PS5, so there’s no easy way back to gaming now. If strong cravings hit, it will be much harder to relapse since my current PC isn’t suitable for gaming. Compared to last week, the cravings were noticeably weaker. I still catch myself missing gaming, but I’m actively reframing it. When my brain paints those nostalgic “fun gaming” moments, I now force myself to play the full story, not just the fun, but also the missed deadlines, neglected priorities, and the impact on my work, family, gym, and goals. That reminder helps me stay grounded in reality. Gaming wasn’t just fun at some point it came with regret, low self-esteem, and a habit of convincing myself everything was fine when it wasn’t.For now, my focus is only improve relationships, stay consistent at the gym, keep building the Sim platform. I’m intentionally not adding anything else.Dumbscrolling free: 7 weeks Edited February 21Feb 21 by reader
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