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Zeliow

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  1. well, im back, almost 5 months passed and I've been playing hearthstone for 30-60 mins a day every day. but thats not why I'm here. I need structure and I need it badly. every day from now on I will wake up at 7:00, go to bed at 23:00, Im doing #NoWank and I will be doing a minimum of 30 pushups every 2 days. I dont want to slip so Im keeping a journal here, again. Im here after I saw a girl passing by on the street I used to vaguely know and I said hi, and she said hi back. awesome right? no, it came out wrong and I felt weak and pathetic. listening to 8 hours of Jordan Peterson's lectures named "maps of meaning" and some video's from Gavin McInnes made me realise I needed to do the #NoWank. I will post here every day stating the days I have not wanked, with a max of 1 month (becouse you get a free ticket at the beginning of each month (unless a miracle happens)). I will post everything that happened that day that I do not want to happen in the future. I will post everything positive that happened that day that is noteworthy. but really noteworthy, like asking a girl on a date and she said yes noteworthy. so here we go, [DAY 1]. #NoWank days: 0 everything that happened that day that I do not want to happen in the future: that pathetic "hey"destructive procastinationthe impulsive wank everything positive that happened that day that is noteworthy: FUCK! (and I will stop doing the hearthstone thing)
  2. @Schwing assertiveness has always been a weak point of me and I'm trying to be more assertive in situations where I should. on what I play? I just started learning chords so for now mainly D E and A chords . [ day 4 ] I didnt kept a journal.... I didnt do annything productive either exept going to bed early, the internet is an evil place for procastinators. [ day 5 ] accomplishments: crafted two 4,5 kg dumbells out of some old steel rods and lead strips.full 20 minute upper body workout.cold shower.covered 2/12 subjects for the test next monday.Today: I set my alarm for 8:00 and put it on the other side of the room but I turned it of and slept till 9:30. I still have trouble starting with studying but I gained some momentum today. after the workout my arms and shoulders did not want to lift the guitar off the stand so next time Ill do guitar practice before I do my workout routine. goals (short term): I have to pass the upcomming tests in 2 weeks tomorrow I will: Get up at 9:00. study for at least 7 hours. Practice guitar for 15 minutes. insulate the dumbells with tape (to prevent skin contact with lead).
  3. Welcome, and congratz on keeping yourself strong. to a better life!
  4. Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid. The way to see this is for example when someone does not have food to eat, that person is not concerned about morality. when someone is sick, he or she is not concerned about achievement. It got me thinking about what my priorities were when I was gaming too much and came up with my own hierarchy of needs for when I was gaming.
  5. Sex is part of the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And since I dont have to dodge girls every day I see no harm in it. Just dont do it 5 times a day.
  6. I like it Thanks for the answer. I sometimes get into this state of self hate where im like "fuck everything it doesnt matter anyway" and it usually takes a long time to get out of it.
  7. What did you do to recover quickly? i'm curious.
  8. Happy new year everyone! [ day 3 ] Today: Forgot to set my allarm, woke up at around 10:30 instead of 8:00. I couldnt put myself to study at all that day, also didnt practice with the guitar. I dont want this to happen anymore. I thought about what my wake up routine should look like and came to the conclusion that I basicly should do what I always do: get up, put on clothes, eat and brush my teeth. that evening I went over to a friends house to celebrate new years eve and everyone was having a great time, that was really fun and reminded me of how gratefull I should be to have them in my life. accomplishments: nothing here goals (short term): I have to pass the upcomming tests in 2 weeks tomorrow I will: Practice guitar for 15 minutes. Work out. [ day 4 ] Today: I survived the hangover and was able to push myself to do 30 pushups. I did not feel well after that but I wont give up on this. the rest of the day was filled with some movies and guitar practice. today I was thinking a lot about the situation with my mother, and it creates some mixed feelings. I love my mother and I know she loves me as well, but my mother can also be really negative about the things I do and thoughts I share. Espectially whenever I try something new. An example of this is when I decided to apply to volunteer for an organisation that organises backpacking trips around europe. The first reaction from my mom was that I never cook so I wouldnt be able to do such a thing. She also brings up negative things that happened in the past every 2 or so weeks and tries to be funny about it while she knows I dont like it. So I dont share negative things that happen with her, and sharing positive things will only result in negativity. What is left is very little, boring, neutral subjects like the weather outside. The result is that I refrain from doing new things, I cant go for a run outside without reciving some form of negative comment about it. All things I do that dont comply with her mental image of me creates this comment in the form of "haha hats not you, you're probably bad at it". And she cant leave it alone either, once she finds out about something it has to be talked about every single day for at least a month. Talking didn't help, the most obvious thing to do is moving out, but I dont want to pay €300+ for a room in the city I study in. I love my mom, but I hate it that I have to think about what I can and can't share with her. accomplishments: worked out.Practiced guitar for 30 minutes.goals (short term): I have to pass the upcomming tests in 2 weeks tomorrow I will: Wake up at 9:00. Study for at least 6 hours. Hold my guitar for 15 minutes. The best of luck, Zeliow.
  9. Welcome stevec, You know this will be hard, but it will get easier over time. keep us updated and we will support you!
  10. Keeping the yournal updated is a great way to keep you reminded. It gives a sense of oh shit what will I tell them if I wasted my time again. And with the rest, I think you shouldn't try too hard with strict rules on internet usage or you might stress out to the point of relapse.
  11. Yesterday was a victory, feel that victory and be proud of it! And don't let you take that from yourself again.
  12. That sounds like a productive day. You found some energy and put it to good use. About the youtube idea, give it some more thought and give it a try!
  13. @gankylosaurus a former neigbour is taking over a buisness that builds stainless steel pressure vessels and cheese tanks (+- 15 employees). but the engineers designing the tanks still use some old expensive 3d autocad ripoff software, my former neigbour wants to slowly implement autodesk inventor becouse its (way) faster and cheaper. I used to have a summer job there and help them out with some drawings but decided to quit becouse of the crappy software. I think he would want my help to set up the procedures as well as teaching the rest about inventor. If this doesnt work out I can still get a summer time job elsewhere.
  14. Following through with: [ day 2 ] First of all, thanks @AlexTheGrape @Piotr @gankylosaurus @dandielionous @Mhyrion and @Cam Adair for the posts, I really do appreciate it. Today: I felt generally positive about this day. I got up at 8:20, 20 minutes later than I wanted to (damn snooze). I got myself a fresh haircut and took the bike instead of the motorcycle. It was beautifull outside. It was freezing and the damp air had formed ice crystals on almost everything, the grass, the trees, everything was white. Later that day the sun broke through and made everything even better, untill it all melted 5 minutes later.... accomplishments: Took action and now my alarm clock doesn't have a snooze button anymore.Set up a study schedule for the next 2 weeks and it turns out I have to study 6 hours a day to cover every subject.Studied for 2 hours, this falls a bit short of my plan for today.Did 30 pushups and 10 pullups.Practiced guitar for 30 minutes.goals (short term): I have to pass the upcomming tests in 2 weeks goals (long term): If I want to add/ scrap some goals I will state it somewhere else and add them to a section on my day 1 post. tomorrow I will: Wake up at 8:00. Create a wake up routine and put it into practice. Study for at least 6 hours. Hold my guitar for 15 minutes. celebrate the old year with my mates (wooo!). And of course write day 3 of this journal if I'm physically able to . The best of luck, Zeliow.
  15. THAT'S the thought process! recognising your behaviour and doing something about it. you should be a little bit proud about this.
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