Schwing

121 days Days porn free: 4 Today I left my comfort zone by: Talking to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Getting there.Routine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy or read 1 hourArt 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Nailed it Thoughts and Feelings: I got up later than I wanted to againWent to school. Tried acting less unstable and needy and being more masculine. It worked! I felt much better on an emotional level. Through embodying the intention the spirit follows suit.Did climbing. There was this german guy there who is new. Really cool guy. He just talks to anyone. Reminds me that I should stop giving a fuck about the images of people and just get talking.Came back and I really wanted to work out so I did. Legs and core mostly. My new addiction!Did energising routine and took a SUPER COLD SHOWER. My shower hasn't gone that cold before. Felt good.Studied and posted around forums. Forum posting takes up quite a bit of time. But I need it!My cold is pretty much gone Tasks and achievements: Physical: climb, workoutMental: studying, learning germanSpiritual: meditation, bioenergetics, cold showerWhat I am grateful for: MetalGerman guyThe shower for being much colder todayMy cold goingGetting shit done today. Let's hope tomorrow is a decent day.What I have learnt from today: The difference between me and that guy was that he was secure and I am insecure. Need to fix that.I love workouts, but perhaps i am a more mental person?Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.Goal for tomorrow: Run like a beast in the woods Goal for the month: Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

I had a similar problem. I grew up in a dysfunctional family so I used games to escape. I found that I had many more problems than wasting time on games (depression, social anxiety, poor self esteem). So I am tackling the problem at the root and I am making an effort to stay in contact with my dad. Hope this helps.

Hello plum chum! Yes porn is definitely very misogynistic. It fucks with your brain on a subconscious level- in my mind they were just other people but deep down I saw them as objects! This resulted in getting super nervous, lechy around them. That's not how a real man acts. If you want to be less introverted I try and talk to 3 random people everyday. I'm not very good at it but getting better. Taking up hobbies (gym, climbing centre etc. etc.) where there is a place you can see people regularly is a good start. Plus hobbies will fill the void from your addiction. What hobbies do you have in mind?

Nice. I have never heard of Faun, Apocalyptica, Moonspell or Turisas. I will check them out with due haste! As for mainstream stuff: I still listen to my chemical romance from when I was 13! Forgot to put them on the list. I also forgot to mention my favourite hardcore / hardcorey offshoot stuff: Hail the Sun, Converge, The Fall of Troy

120 days Days porn free: 3 Today I left my comfort zone by: Blowing my nose on a piece of toilet paper and walking around with mucus on my face whilst simultaneously not giving a fuck. HAH (ok i know that was disgusting but I've already admitted to some pretty personal shit here so it doesn't really matter. RIGHT?!)Admitting I did the above on the forums. Yuck.Routine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy or read 1 hourArt 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: I didn't get a chance! Thoughts and Feelings: I got up later than I wanted toThere was a running event on today at school but I was too ill to compete. I wish I could have though. If I was me 6 months ago I wouldn't have at all. Strange how much life changes in such a short span of time.I sat around, read manga and listened to bolt thrower for most of the day at schoolcame home and tried to study but my focus kept drifting Tasks and achievements: Physical: Mental: studying, learning german, reading, artSpiritual: meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalThose japs for making awesome metal, awesome cartoons and awesome comic books5 day duolingo streak3 days free of pornBolt thrower for being one of the few reasons I am proud to be english!What I have learnt from today: I really really like runningI have been less emotionally grounded lately. Need to chill the fuck out and act more mature. probably because I haven't been doing bioenergetics or wim hof because I am ill.I keep forgetting to randomly start conversations. I think the notion of approaching random people intimidates me on a subconscious level. Therefore I pussy out.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to. Get some sufficient context if need be. Take baby steps.Goal for tomorrow: Start working out again Goal for the month: Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

I never got into killswitch. But the guitarist has done pretty dope side project called serpentine dominion with cannibal corpse singer george fisher and ex tbdm drummer shannon lucas. As for genres, my heart lies with death metal of all shapes and sizes. Be it brutal, technical, progressive or melodic. I do cross over a lot into other genres though. Anything that gets me going I listen to! Never heard of him. He can sure sing! Everything in japan is strange though right? Here's a japanese metal band. Only japanese singer I really know lol. Even though he doesn't really sing.

Hi, to answer your question I listen to all sorts of shit! Mostly metal though. My favourite bands are: Skeletonwitch, Sylosis, Cannibal Corpse, The Black Dahlia Murder, Death, Be'Lakor, Insomnium, Immolation, Cryptopsy, Psycroptic, In Flames, Bolt Thrower, Vektor, Fleshgod Apocalypse, Inferi. I also like post rock/metal, electronic synth stuff (tycho, perturbator, GoST), classical music and a bit of jazz. Check out this japanese jazz instrumental I found

Hi Masturbation and porn do not fit in with my values. I have been abusing porn for too long and it has fucked with my brain. Masturbation just reinforces the bad habits of perturbed sexual fantasies that I don't want in my head! I have always had a fucked up imagination and I have nothing against it but I don't want to give my self up to these ideas. I totally agree that masturbation is fine in that context but for me it's a straight up no given my situation right now. Yes no fap works as more of a 'symbol' I think. Like hitler with the swastika, the catholic church with the cross, the ussr with the hammer and sickle, the satanic pentagram, the buddha. Symbols have psychological power. The essence of nofap is becoming a better man I think. And the abstaining from masturbation is just a motivational psychological booster. Like a placebo. The trouble is I know how it works though so it doesn't work on me as well! Fuck! I know I won't need nofap at some time and I won't need gq either- but- I need them both now to get stronger.

Ah weebs and metalheads everywhere! What is this site?! Some sort of heaven! These guys are also from japan. Check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGpyk5937uo&t=727s

Damn look at all these Chuck Schuldiners. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!!

119 days Days porn free: 2 Today I left my comfort zone by: Going for a walk by myselfRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy or read 1 hourArt 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Done Thoughts and Feelings: I got up at a reasonable timeI did something that blew my fucking mind today! This is pretty fucked so bear with me: I was looking into sexual energy transmutation the other day and I came across a video on Qijong meditation (whatever it was called). I recalled a part about making your energy flow from the base of your spine to head head, down your front and back round again. So I tried focusing on my groin area then working my focus around the loop at discrete points. I could feel a slight numbness in parts I focused on and at some places I felt quite fuzzy. So when my 10 min were up I stood up and I realised I fucking spaffed in my pants a little! Who would've thunk?! It didn't work though because I still had urges.So I have been ill lately and a bit starved of vitamin D and fresh air so I stuck my be'lakor shirt and combat boots on and went for a walk by myself. One guy said hello to me. Nobody usually bothers saying anything when I have metal shirts on. I went through the fields, down some farm tracks, Found some neat little trees I could do pullups off, and looked around some pockets of forest. I even saw 3 deer bombing it through some farmer's fields. I think they were roe deer. Sucks how much of the landscape fell to agriculture in this country. So we could get fat and build up this fuck fest called society.Came home and studied, read manga.I think I will build Nikolai Tesla's free energy generator for my physics project next year.I slept for 3 hours today. No one was up for an accountability call so I did some art. Tasks and achievements: Physical: walkMental: studying, learning german, reading, artSpiritual: walk, meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalThese vibesNatureBacon and eggsWhat I have learnt from today: There's a lot of cool stuff around here even if I am in the middle of no whereThis Qijong shit might work; let's try again!Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Talk to 3 people I don't usually talk to.Goal for tomorrow: Get shit done for my project Goal for the month: Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

@Shine Magical It's super surreal - and it's all about looking at each others souls. Very nice.

Aha! Well then! For my riposte: I bet you haven't read this manga! Bwahahahahaha! Prepare to be outweebed my good man! *waits to be completely shot down* You must have cried many many times though. When are new volumes released normally? Do you buy them in hardcopy or as a ebook or something? Where from?

@Shine Magical The bit where guts is thrown in a dungeon and he meets that flower spirit thing. Stick on some post rock and read that manga- guaranteed you will cry.

118 days Days porn free: 1 Today I left my comfort zone by: Getting up at 7 instead. Of lying inRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy or read 1 hourArt 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Done Thoughts and Feelings: I got up earlier than usual. Made my porridge.Studied 2 hours. I was able to structure my time moreI have been reading a LOT of Manga latelyI accidentally ate some raw cabbage in a sandwich. It fucks you up on the inside but it tastes ok. As long at you don't eat the stem. YuckI read some physics. The topic was relativity and the space time continuum.Did some art. Got Krita to work. I really like it. One day I will get a graphics tablet monitor and be a pro!Going to bed early.Oh and I fapped earlier. Tasks and achievements: Physical: Mental: studying, learning german, reading, artSpiritual:What I am grateful for: MetalTychoKnowing I am in the matrix. Fuck the systemGetting shit done today.Nice foodWhat I have learnt from today: Who cares about masturbation right now. Porn is the enemy! You can't fight a war on two fronts!I can do so much in a day by just taking a little action. You can get a lot out of a little time.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Host that motherfucking accountability call like a bossGoal for tomorrow: Introduce myself to my brother's on nofap Goal for the month: Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap

I have tried pommodros and it didn't really work for me. Todoist looks good though! I do believe sex drive is important but I don't believe in using my hand for it. It's sucks because I don't have a girlfriend or anything right now. But, I have been looking into sexual transmutation.

Haha. Everyone is getting sick about now! Myself included. Great job with the work out.

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. Here is a nofap post i made: Today I relapsed hard.I felt awful. Depressed. Frustrated.It's this I want to escape. I feel I have been keeping myself too distant for my own good on this forum and I need to open up and share my past.I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I would escape into the world of fantasy at any given moment through videogames, books, tv and even lego. When my sexuality came into blossom I took straight to porn (12). It was my go-to as I would escape reality to find emotional security. Throughout my teens I always have been struggling socially. I would keep people at a distance. Never intimate. Never talking to girls. My porn addiction worsened. By the time I was 15 I had a folder in my chrome bookmarks filled it. I would view the most disgusting shit and I am very ashamed about it. Most of it was animated hentai porn. I'd watch rape, incest, bestiality, gore, BDSM, I even stooped so low as to paedophilia. I would have watched the real deal if I got my hands on it. I don't think I even bought into the shit though- my sexuality was completely warped by porn and I couldn't help it.I have never admitted to this before. On this note I would like to swear an oath NEVER to touch porn again. I will also join the army of liberty that @tylerirish suggested. "I swear to never touch porn again. I will give it my utmost strength to beat this addiction and rewire my brain. I am tired of feeling like shit. I am tired of giving up my sexuality to a piece of fake degenerative shit. I swear this by everyone who supports me, everyone I give support to and myself. I swear this by my friends, my family and my dream. I will beat this shit."

117 days Days porn free: 0 Today I left my comfort zone by: nothingRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy or read 1 hourArt 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: I didn't set one Thoughts and Feelings: I have been very ill since yesterday. Today I skipped school and got up late.Tried a half arsed energising routine and had a hot shower.Did duolingoSpent most of the day sitting at the computer soul searching. Posting on the site. Reading manga. Listening to music. I relapsed on the nofap- mind was overcome by negativity and nihilism.While I was reading my manga the meanings behind it began to resonate with me on an emotional level and I ended up in tears. I have cried a lot these past 4 months. Changed my profile pic to the main character. He struggles against all odds. For me he is a symbol for the epitome of perseverance.A lot of shit has been going down to other people of forums lately- myself included. Funny how it converges on one day.Skipped work today tooTried a bit of studying and reading book. Couldn't focus. Same for meditation Tasks and achievements: Physical: Mental: studying, learning german, reading, postingSpiritual: meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalEveryone who supports meThe internetPost rock / post metalMedicationStruggling to improveThat mangaBeing illA new member on the forums @GranitwelleI am grateful for having a loving mother/ stepfather. Honestly I take this for granted. Other people are incredibly worse off.What I have learnt from today: I MUST fight for my dream. Even when I am overcome by illness I can still keep my shit together. If you don't feel like studying then just take a nap.I have to become the strongest version of myself. There is no turning back.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Get up and make your day worthwhile even if you don't feel like itGoal for tomorrow: Join nofap group Goal for the month: Finish all my coursework. Beat nofap.

Thank you for your story. I hope I will be able to do productive work like that too. And working out fucking rules!

Hi I like the lay out. Sometimes I have found it's great to just spew your emotions into your writing though. If you're just getting into fitness check this out. I can tell you're a huge nerd like me so I think you will like it.

The story of my life. Good job getting in the gym. Exercise is the best antidepressant. And it's addictive as fuck. I wish you the best of luck, friend

Thank you for this post. I have been having similar thoughts lately. One of the pillars of nihilism is "the world is fucked; why bother?". They are right. Society is fucked and there is nothing that we can do about it. But, for some reason you get out of bed in the morning. For some reason you take up hobbies. For some reason you listen to fucking slayer. As humans we are driven by emotion. Emotion is what we live for. You are not an undead just because you wander I watched this video and it got me thinking. Everybody feels a sense of purpose; the slaves at their desk jobs; the ape men eating bananas. If you too feel it; embrace it. Empower your purpose in yourself and others. Maybe you don't understand your purpose? Stop looking for your purpose in reality- it will only deceive you. Society has deceived you but does conforming to it's rules make you a slave? No it only makes you a material slave. Not a brain slave. You are not a brain slave. Follow your heart and empower your emotional purpose. Reality is reality. We can't do shit about it. The consciousness is the consciousness and there's a lot of shit we can do about it. When neo realised he was in the matrix did he sit there drink, chainsmoke and play videogames all day? No he got his shit together and he jumped off buildings and stopped bullets in mid air. To see the farm is to leave it. You can't sprout wings and fly from it. But you can in your dreams.

Thank you That sounds nice. I just don't want to be stuck at some desk somewhere designing some useless consumerist shite. I will definitely continue with it. I suppose in life I cannot hope for total liberation and I have to accept some cold hard facts. As for the workout. I do tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. I did't do it yesterday because I was ill. I have been thinking of sticking some lunges in there. Also I sold my old drum kit and I have plenty of money for that squat rack but my parents say i should just see how I feel about the routine I have right now. I agree with them. But I will probably end up buying that squat rack. Exercise is addictive. I think lifting is a question of commitment and not whether I feel I enjoy it anyway.

If I did scare sabre cat away; I never wanted to. I was just stating my opinion. If I was an arsehole then so be it. Arseholes are important to show you something about yourself. My ego may pie people off sometimes but it helps a lot of people too. I can only be myself I'm afraid. The way I help people is advice minus the sentiment. Personally, I do not think Sabre cat was scared off. You can see that they made a post saying that they were grateful for the responses and that they are convinced now that GQ is a friendly environment. Also, you cannot always hope for the perfect day! Some days you will just fuck up. The other day you broke all that ice and shit like superman, but today you fucked up a bit. It's all part of the balance of life. For your breath awareness meditation try and focus on your body as well as your breath. Focus on the way you make contact with the floor etc. and the areas of muscular tension in your body. Just get out of your brain and focus your energy.