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Everything posted by Schwing

  1. 146 days Days porn free: 3 Album of the day: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/m9QLYGq3A2c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Still trying to figure out how to embed fucking videos! Anyway. Cutting down on the journalling. Just a small paragraph. Yesterday was awesome. Felt a bit down but I got out for a run and bolted it across a field screaming "FAAACCCKING SLAAYYYAARR!!!!! WOOT!!!" Saw two people out for a walk so I smiled at them as much as I could. They probably thought I was fucking crazy or something. Anyway, got some drawing done yesterday too.
  2. Been slacking off lately. My nickname is Schwing as always!
  3. <iframe width="500" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k9LgYzrtgx0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> that's the code i get from copy paste
  4. Gah! How to embed youtube videos?
  5. 146 days Days porn free: 1 Album of the day: Today I left my comfort zone by: I GOT EARLY HAHAHAHA FINALLYRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy, Art or read 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Yup. Blasted some spaceslug at the same time. Makes me feel like a battle slug on psychedelic steroids flanked by his brothers in gastropod arms on either side, ready to slay the enemy and lay down their lives in the name of the great cosmic slug queen! TO BATTLE! IN SLIME WE TRUST! Thoughts and Feelings: Got up super early. made porridge.Studied but didn't get a lot done tbh.I spend way too much time sitting at the computer.Got tempted to buy some merch today! Too bad! Need to save up for a bike.Read some of the necronomicon. Felt tired so I went to sleep...for 3 hours. So much for getting up early.Worked outColoured in comic page Tasks and achievements: Physical: workoutMental: reading, cooking, artSpiritual: bioenergetics, coldshower, meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalSpacesluuuuuuuugspicy chickenbeing a complete fucktard!What I have learnt from today: Don't buy anything. £100 a year that's itTomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Running around screaming outsideGoal for tomorrow: Do 2 tech papers Goal for the month: Study hard for exams. Beat nofap
  6. You've gotta get that sleep cycle in tune my man! And don't stare at any screens before bed. Fucks with your brain waves. I try and meditate for 10 min to get those sweet alpha waves flowing.
  7. Robots don't need dicks! Only more power consumption!
  8. 145 days Days porn free: 0 Today I left my comfort zone by: NoooooooooooothingRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy, Art or read 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Well I did my goal from the day before yesterday yesterday...but i don't think that counts. Thoughts and Feelings: Got up late.....GAH then relapsed to porn!Felt depressed for the first time in fucking agesMood swung the other wayWas supposed to work out today but I thought "nah i just wanna draw"read some of physics book. SO BORINGCookedDid washing up and blasted this from CD on stereo. Sounds so much better than through a shitty speaker or headphones. Last track is a killer. I WILL RETURRRRRRRNdrew and listened to this. very chill. got some post rock vibes. pretty videogame-esque so watch out you don't get triggered.Drew a shit ton. Pleased with outcome. Cyborgs don't need dicks! They just need to kick ass! Tasks and achievements: Physical:Mental: reading, cooking, artSpiritual: meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalChiptune or whatever the fuck it's calledComic books!Trying to become a real manWhat I have learnt from today: Porn filters just make me want to bypass them by simply being thereGetting better at making comics fast. Enjoying it too.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Shift your arse out of bedGoal for tomorrow: Work out Goal for the month: Study hard for exams. Beat nofap
  9. Relapsed like a mothertrucker today (porn)! First thing I did when I got up. Time to get my shit together
  10. Eyy? Why isn't 'I like to lick shit man' here?
  11. True shit! This made me reevaluate my idea of a friend. I suppose friendship is not something based in reality but in our heads. I guess the best way you could describe it is: "a person who frequently gets rid of the feeling of loneliness". Therefore it takes many forms. Here I see a particular side of you. A projection. One of many stimuli to keep my sanity in check! I can label it in many different ways, I can try and crack it down to the roots and examine it but that's not the way to go. Whatever this is I am grateful for it! Big girlie walls of text included.
  12. make art that inspires your music? I'm pretty shit but I make what I make and it's up to you to be inspired! That's how art works. Bass guy rules. Those looks like frets on his bass though? Or am I just musically retarded?
  13. I'll admit this to you: My whole life I never really had a friend either; someone who I resonated with on an emotional level. Then I found you (and a bunch of other people). I know that sounds pretty gay but I have actually been considering if people on gamequitters and nofap are my friends. You are the one who I've shared the most with thus far and you are also the one who I like the most. However, i still have my doubts. I thought shit like: "no they're twice my age", "no they live in another country", "no I don't share much with them on an emotional level". And I also thought that even if I gave it my utmost to find these people and really connect with them then I would still flop. I would think think think because I was afraid. Afraid of openness. I suck at being nice to people. But I always understand. But perhaps I am not just afraid; perhaps this world is not meant for friendship. It wouldn't work because I have seen it fail in real life many a time: outside of the forums too I have known people I have shared a part of my soul with. But things soon got stale and we began to lock horns. More temporary 'friends'. I am starting to think now that perhaps this soul to soul connection; when someone truly looks at you- it's something we just don't get. I mean look at what I've been doing for the entirety of this post- talking about me me me. We're condemned to face the void alone in this life. We even have an unwillingness to open up to others because of a fear that we will lose our footing in this world of machines. But even if you hold on to each other for a time the world calls and you are ripped apart. Nothing can tarry in life. Not even what we value the most. Our body is constantly changing; our mind is constantly changing; our soul is constantly changing. But, what remains the same is our memories. When I leave this site and everyone on it behind I will remember the people I met and the things I shared and I will take refuge in these memories when the time comes. So, tim, I will remember you and that's all I can promise you. As I said I suck at being nice, but, know that I do look at you from time to time. There is actually a manga on this topic called Homunculus. Good read. Check it out.
  14. 143 days Days porn free: 5 Today I left my comfort zone by: Crawling out of the undergrowth absolutely drenched on an unsuspecting woman and her dog. unintentionally of course.Routine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy, Art or read 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Yes! Check it out Thoughts and Feelings: Got up late......but one hour earlier than usualStudied. finsihed my paperscooked some pastawatch mushisi episode 1went for a runmeditated by the usual stream. nice spot. very peaceful. I like to splash myself with the water. fun climb up the valley too. that's how I jumped out on that woman. Good thing i didn't get an algae on my head. Would have been some creature from the black lagoon shit going on otherwiseread some spawnDrew some comic stuffSurfed forumsNow to bed! Tasks and achievements: Physical: runMental: study, cooking, artSpiritual: cold shower, meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalBeing in a really good mood lately@destoroyah for always supporting me with my comics and stuff. Really has helped me grow.naturecold watercomicscool people on the forumscam for finish my case studyWhat I have learnt from today: Good to not care what other's think about you.Sunshine, meditation and exercise are the best drugsA friend is perhaps something not of this world. Perhaps friends can only be temporary as a passing source of comfort in the long dark. Perhaps our souls are truly alone in this world. And even if they touch another's they may hold onto one another for a time. But eventually slip. For the currents of the material world destroy all things eventually.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Get up earlier.Goal for tomorrow: Finish a maths paper Goal for the month: Study hard for exams. Beat nofap
  15. Haha. nice one. Appreciate you keeping up the site and stuff. This may sound cheesy but you changed my life! You changed conservetard to conservative! Hahahahahaha. This channel is alex jones level though. Good move anyways. Don't want to offend anyone. Politics doesn't come into this.
  16. Eyyy! Noragami! I know that anime! Fucking sick intro song too! Really good bass sound too. Great that you can find so many cool bands through anime. Found these guys a while ago. Sick riffs, sick drums, sick vocals, and sick bass too! They did highschool of the dead and gate. Your music is really good. Keep at it Edit: Oh and no I don't play an instrument. I used to play drums very shittily but then I quit because I decided I wanted to do art instead. Too many different hobbies you see. Also did you see this? Sorry to pester you but you've gotta see it! the link looked a little obscure in my last post. Oh wait. Editing the shit out of this post. You said you like fretless? Check this out
  17. You've raised the serpent mate! You're a demigod now! Aligned your kundahleieneienei or whatever it's fucking called! You know, that big energy ball at the base of your spine those hindus go on about. And those whackos over at joyofsatan.com too!
  18. Keep at developing yourself and you will gain confidence in your stance with women and pretty much everything. You work out and that is great. The body mind and soul are all interconnected. Also if you don't have a lot to talk about make something to talk about. Read lots of books/ articles and go on little adventures. Start dreaming; start thinking. That sucks a bag of dick. My parents split up too. Marriage has lost it's meaning in this era. I find it's good to just not try and make much conversation when you're not in the mood. Check this out With porn addiction I found I had an inner gremlin: "RELAPSE!! DO IT!! IT WILL FEEL GOOOOOD!!!". Every time I fucked up it was because my mind blanked out and it took over. So I realised I couldn't trust myself and I installed blockers on all my devices and gave the passwords to someone I could trust I hit 20 days no porn recently! It only took me about 50 million attempts! Keep at it and join nofap if you have to. I use this forum as a motivational tool. The idea is the more days you have with no porn the higher rank you get.
  19. Hi @Brad_Hurst Sounds exactly like my story! Except I'm two years younger than you! So I will share some things that resonated with me in this post from my experience. I boiled it down and looked at the roots of my addiction. Gaming is often not the sole perpetrator of a poor personality. I had a shitty father figure. I also looked deeper into myself. When you're gaming you're in a constant state of distraction. I never bothered with girls because I thought "nah they don't want a pussy bitch like me" and went back to playing. I truly disliked myself. When i removed the distraction at the start of my detox I started getting really low self esteem. I thought I sucked and without videogames I had no satisfaction. But soon I realised that I wasn't a pussy! I just had a personality that is not generally accepted by society! If you're a natural introvert don't worry about it. I think introverts are better anyway. The trouble with the current society is everybody expects you to run about socialising with absolutely fucking everyone when the fact of the matter is, back in the day, we would never go so far as the confines of our own tribe. However, social awkwardness is a separate thing. I had a lot of it from a fear of intimacy and lack of trust of everyone. It stems from mental restrictions in your head. You have to get out of your head and just express yourself. Realise that you can trust other people. Say absolutely anything. What doesn't matter is what you say in a conversation. What matters is the impression you leave when it's over. Your body language is a part of this too. You are reserved: you are tense. You are open: you are relaxed. Don't think about it! I do this whole retarded spiel in the morning. Basically gets you into your body more: like an animal. Stronger posture; less mental restriction. Feel free to check it out As for women- I try not to care. I'm a loner too! Learn to love yourself first. Men don't go round drooling over women. They just go out and do their thing. If they find a compatible woman they get it to second base. The more solitude you endure the more you become more self reliant in your mind. That's masculinity. And it's not just women! I don't have any IRL friends. They're all on the internet. It sucks but I am grateful to at least have one or two. Find some male friends you can REALLY rely on. I'm talking soul to soul connections. Men have too many ego relationships these days. It's not gay! If you watch porn; I would urge you to stop. Also facebook I find is a shithole for neediness. Not manly enough! GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!. But I'm bombarding you enough with information so I'll shut up now.
  20. 143 days Days porn free: 5 Today I left my comfort zone by: NottttttttthiiiiiinnnggggRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy, Art or read 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Ah fuck! Nope. But I chugged through a lot and I am improving on the topic. Thoughts and Feelings: Got up late......A-fucking-gainDamn I even woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go at 6:30 but I couldn't get my arse out the bed.I made all my food myself today.Studied a fuck tonI listened to SO much stoner rock/metal today it's unreal. I listened to dope smoker twice! Killer workout tune.Watched some TED talks.Today a lot of my thinking fell into place. My world view seems to be settling on something now Tasks and achievements: Physical: workoutMental: study, cookingSpiritual: cold shower, bioenergetics, meditationWhat I am grateful for: MetalThinkingBeing a total weirdoStoner metalWhat I have learnt from today: Women are needier than men and they are for a reason. It's not sexist- it's the truth. Because of the system, they seek approval from society and what they think is acceptable. They do this instead of seeking approval from the males that populate the tribe. They're wired to be more dependant as this is what secured them to a mate. One asserted (man) and one submitted (woman). Men just went out and killed shit and came back (provided they didn't die), grunted and flexed their muscles. Easy pussy! But no society says: "Hey woman! You're smart! You don't need a family! You just need to work! Make money! Taking care of husband is sexist! Marriage is a commodity! Kids are a commodity! Sex is a commodity!" The system fucks us all! But what the fuck do I know? I'm just a kid that doesn't even talk to women! Ignore me!Autism is perhaps a genetic relic of our animal nature and is not a defect speaking in terms of who we are naturally meant to be.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Won't say it again. Get the fuck up on time.Goal for tomorrow: Draw comics! Lots of them! Goal for the month: Study hard for exams. Beat nofap
  22. 142 days Days porn free: 4 Today I left my comfort zone by: NothingRoutine: Get up 6:30 (8:30 weekend)BioenergeticsCold showerMeditation50 exp duolingoPhysical activityStudy, Art or read 1 hourGoal from yesterday done?: Not complete! But still did it! Thoughts and Feelings: Got up late......AGAIN!Tomorrow I have to get up early. No debate.These past few weeks has just been me going about my routine haphazardly. Doing one thing here and one thing there.Got a good bit of studying nailed down.Read some of spawnDid some more artdid the dishes Tasks and achievements: Physical: Mental: study, art, washing upSpiritual: cold shower, bioenergeticsWhat I am grateful for: MetalPeople who inspire meSunshineWhat I have learnt from today: Finish what I started. I chose to become an engineer. I can't turn back now.I'm pretty inconsistent. Apart from in being grateful for metal every single day.Tomorrow I will leave my comfort zone by: Getting up and get studying. I don't fucking care if you are tired. ACTUALLY FUCKING DO IT BALAAGAGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGoal for tomorrow: Finish your s1 maths papers! DO IT! Goal for the month: Study hard for exams. Beat nofap
  23. What are you on about? This is a forum for people recovering from videogame addiction if you haven't noticed.