Regular Robert

Links that might help you: Should You Watch Gaming Streams? < It's a link, click it. 7 Things to Expect After You Quit Gaming < Another link. Now some personal experiences: When I watch game related content on YouTube - and I do that quite often, mostly to purposely trigger myself - I want to know more about it. I want to go back into games, because I remember this awesome situation or that particular game that gave me goosebumps. In short, watching game related content to me is like an alcoholic watching a documentary about how german beer is being brewed. You cannot watch it without generating cravings. That is my experience. Another experience, that is not only my own is: You cannot play in moderation. So, in case you watch a certain stream and you think "well, I could only watch and play this game because I benefit from it in this or that way ..." you are actually fooling yourself. Rationalization is a strong force. You can rationalize everything. Literally everything. If you are good at it, you can rationalize the holocaust. But let's keep it to the topic in here. Once you start watching game related contend, you will secretly build up a desire to test, find out, or simply enjoy the game you just watched. You want to live the fun they had in the video. You want to live the awkwardness in the vid. You want to meet the people they met. You know, in a YouTube video, everything looks fucking awesome. Because they stage it. They want it to look awesome to gain viewers, to gain income through ads and so on. Do the test. Just do it. Watch a certain game that looks like tons of fun, buy it and play and honestly judge it. You will most likely find out, that you have been screwed. The fun you had was not genuine, it was artificial and you will feel like it was a waste of time. So, in sum: No, do not watch game related content. Because: What for? You are trying to recalibrate your life. Watch stuff that related to what you want to do now. If you are into survival, watch survival vids. If you are into knitting, what that kinda stuff. If you want to be a hair stylist, well ... learn about hair and such. Be proud of what you are and don't invest most of your time in what you were but rather in what you want to become. Aside from that, there is one thing I feel is necessary to point out: I am a man of hurt and pain. I can hardly let got of anything unless the pain overwhelms me. For me, it was important to watch game related stuff, buy the game, get disappointed and repeat until I was fed up. Those people exist. We need the hurt to change. We need this one, hurting moment, that made the pot cook over and burn everything. We need to totally nuke our feelings. If you are one of those people - and you should most likely know by now - than you will need to follow your instincts until they betrayed you one time too often. Buy the next game, play it, be disappointed, repeat until you get to the point where the "hurt is sufficient" and you can finally let go of all the hurtful sh!t once and for all. If you are not one of those people - and I hope you aren't - simply let go and feed yourself with useful stuff. Also, once you being to fuel your brain with non-game related stuff: How To Stop Mindlessly Browsing The Internet <Link

Can we add additional questions that we see being relevant? Is the written word preferred or can we reply in video, audio, whatever? Are there topics that should not be talked about? E.g.: Sex life, alcoholism, drugs, depressions or such? Also, once the question was answered, I will edit this post to the actual reply to not waste any forum space and of course, not bother Hitaru in his personal messages and private space.

First things first: If somebody opened a thread like this, who could it be? I love your passion and commitment to the forums, Hitaru. You are probably the only constant among all the variables in these forums. But I will expand on this topic somewhere else. Probably in your journal. My word of 2018 will be: Intention(ous) I know, it is no actual word. And also, it is kind of copy-catted from the original post. But that is what my new year will be about. When I went through the detox, I had to look for new activities, new hobbies, had to learn, grow, craft and so on. I did everything just to not think about gaming anymore. I even gamed, like a lot, when I felt the need to. I gave up smoking, started it again, quitted again and repeated this whole progress. I was shaken, my whole world fell apart. I wanted to do so many things and did not even do half of them. Because once the boost of energy hits you, you feel like being able to do anything, at all times, for eternity. But that feelings leaves you quite suddenly. And it did. I had too many hobbies, too many activities, to many new burdens and too many new people I did not like at all. But it was fine. I truly was. Since I gave up gaming, I had to fill my life with new things. Many of those things are as harmful to me the same way gaming was, but I had to find out for myself. Now, this year, I will simply go with what I feel necessary. If I feel the need to learn about Phyton, I will learn about it. But I will have a reason, otherwise, I will abandon it right away. If I buy a new tent, I'll buy it to sleep in the woods, otherwise, I will delete the domain and rather chew and swallow the cash. You can call it "determination" or "intentious". I like the last one, since it does not exist but fully expresses what I want to live this year. If I do anything, it will have a reason and I will be fully committed to this reason. If I talk to my friends, I will be able to name a reason if requested. If I boot up my PC, I will have a reason. If I drink alcohol until I cannot walk straight anymore, I will have a reason. Nothing will happen just because. Everything I do shall serve a purpose. A purpose that follows one greater goal: To get me closer to the person I want to be, chase the dreams I want to achieve and live the life I want to life. No more random. No more "meh". No more regrets. I do, because I want to do, in order to achieve, what I want to achieve, in order to become the person, I want to become, in order to live the life, I deserve to live.

The first tow links that come to my mind are the following (Please still scroll down, since the preview pics nowadays are incredibly large): Feeling Anxious About Selling Your Video Games? Watch This. < That's a link to a YouTube video How The Sunk Cost Fallacy Keeps You Playing Games < Another YouTube link Now, since I believe it is always way too easy to direct somebody in the direction of YouTube and "help yourself", I would like to assist you in progressing and overcoming the obstacle you are facing right now. I just need to know, what is it, that essentially makes you go back? Is it simply the amount of money your accounts might be worth? Is it all the unplayed, but already paid games? Is it the hours you devoted yourself to beating the games, getting the achievements, leveling up, moving up on the scoreboards? You see, every second we played a game, we actually invested. We invested time, concentration, willpower, money, our very own life energy. We made sacrifices like: We did not join our friends going out or to the movies. We pulled the blinds shut so that the sunlight would not blind us while looking at the screen. We stayed up all night, not studying, not working, not preparing, but gaming. All these things are investments and, to be entirely honest, many of them are failed-investments. Gaming instead of studying explains itself, doesn't it? It is the same for the rest of the investments. The money itself it just a minor part in it. Money can be reproduced, can be earned, can be given away and so on. But what we gamers invest is a thing that will never come back and that is ... life. Simple as that. Just to be clear, we all have one life. How much time we have is up to lady luck. Some get up to 60 years, some even manage to scratch a 100. But, we never know how much time we got. And every waking moment, that we turn into a nauseous moment wasting away in front of a screen, we waste away our life. So that's that. The general part is behind us. Now, I would love to hear in detail, what are your troubles? What are your fears? Where do you stop, hesitate or quit because of an obstacle? Just tell me and be sure, most of your problems are not unique. It is not like you have some unique sickness nobody can cure. We all go through the same stages, difficulties, overcome the same burdens, but our priorities differ. So, what is that you struggle with? I am sure there is a handful of people on these forums that can and will support you if you let them. Don'tcha ever forget one thing: You, mate ... got this all under control. You take the steps, you take the turns, you go, you stop. What happens next is all up to you. Sometimes you need a little push. But that's cool, we all need that. Just keep in mind: It's your life, you got this under control!

From reading your - I want to say "wise" - words, I feel that you are very mature. The fact alone that you bear with your brother, try to help him and go online to find resources and support shows a lot of your character and strengths. I love it. Also, I agree on letting the debate stand registered if that is okay with you.

To be entirely honest, the opposite is the case. I am not detaching myself from my words at all. I stand behind what I say. That is a mere assumption of you. I stated "just my opinion" not to gain a free ticket to say whatever I want to say, but to imply that I - and I stated it multiple times - could be wrong or could just be misunderstanding you. I was implying, that I know, I could be wrong. That is all. But you call it misconduct. Me stating my opinion, trying to add some criticism, trying to give you some insight of how you come across in my eyes is "misconduct" for you? Honestly, that only enhances my feeling that you are on a mild rampage in here. The examples I brought up were, like the name says, examples. They are related to what I stated and for me, they were important to get a message through. Calling her a kid can - and you can always disagree - come across sublime, instead of reinforcing her stability. I mean, do you really not see this? If she is in dire need of stability, do you really think that being called a kid strengthens her believe in herself to be able to get through this? To me, it only shows superiority, which is not helpful. That I got her gender "wrong" shows only that I usually do not really care about the genders of people. Especially in this forum. And in this case, I still do not see why it matters. But like I said, I find you to be mildly aggressive and that is what I see as not very helpful in here. But instead of being able to process the input I tried to show you, you did what? "But you, ... but you, ... but you." You even pointed out that I was mistaken about the gender, which has nothing to do with what I stated. It only serves one simple goal: " In spotting weakness in others and being presumptuous can you conjure great strength instantly. " That is exactly what I meant. I find you come across sublime, you preach something but as I see now, you just got extremely offended and defensive about my criticism. You make assumptions about what I meant with my words and tried to attack me wherever you can, even if it has nothing to do with anything. I tried to be diplomatic, respectful, but it seems to have failed. Happens. If you would offer me criticism, I can only hope I would take it and reflect on it. If you feel embarrassed because I approached you like I thought I should approach an adult, well that was not intended. Anyways, if Frigga agrees, I would like to delete the latest chit chat we two had to clean up this thread. Otherwise, a new channel or moving to the journal area might be useful, since like you said, this thread is rather a mess now.

In my opinion, what you are describing is love. Pure and simple. Kids love their parents, parents love their kids. That is why you would always forgive them. Still, if you would always respect or value your brother will be tested during harsh times. It is easily said when it works. Not saying that you wouldn't, but "always" is a promise that has yet to be held. And sometimes loving people means it is important to let them feel the hurt. Even if it means not taking close ones seriously or stopping to care for them. Also, there are many strong bonds. My grandpa was more attached to the people that were with him in the war than his own family. Many situations can weld people together. However, if Frigga would not value his brother, he would not be here and ask for support. He is doing it to actively help his brother. And even if blood is a strong bond, Frigga has to look out for himself and not be dragged down into the pit that is his brothers troubles. Last but not least, it might just be me, but since you are outspoken, I shall be the same: I don't really find the way you approach Frigga useful. You are talking about paying people the respect they deserve, yet you call him Kid. I might misinterpret it, may be you were just sarcastic, but I found it to be sublime. The same goes for the sarcasm. I don't mind sarcasm, but instead of using sarcasm, it would be useful to express yourself in a way that does not require explanations. The moment you explain that you will not change and how some parts are meant, the moment you start talking about yourself in third person, you are making this conversation about you. You are drawing the attention to you. Don't get me wrong, I respect you for being here and for helping others, I just don't find your way of helping, in this thread, genuinely helpful, rather distracting, partly sublime and I think it is only fair to let you know. If somebody requires support, I believe we should place our own ego or special features aside. Just my opinion. You are free to disagree, you are free to correct me if I misunderstood something. Again, I respect you for what you do, just felt it was necessary to express some criticism.

My opinion: You can take words seriously when you can feel people are serious about what they say. If people are telling you the same stuff every day - and trust me, there are many people that literally whine about the same old topics on a daily basis without changing anything - how can you take them seriously? At a certain point, there is a reason why you stop caring. Because caring can become true hurt. I believe everybody knows a girl or a woman that constantly cries about how she only gets arseholes as partners and than picks up the next douche. You can, to a certain degree listen to these words and even give advice. But when this woman or girl in this example, does not even want to change, only uses you as a trashcan to get rid of some hurt, haul in some attention, it should be clear: She is not taking you seriously. She is not treating you with respect. She is not treating you like your words, your time, your effort, your emotions had value. Mind that this was just an example. It is not a typical female problem. But my whole point here is that you cannot simply take everybody seriously. You have to decide whether it makes sense to you if you take somebody seriously or not. You can listen, yes. You can understand that everybody has his or her own problems and those problems are the biggest in the world for the suffering person. But you have to decide whether it makes sense to take words seriously or just not give a damn. The same goes for the part about value. Yes, you should treat people like their words have value. Value to them. Other peoples words do not have to have any value to you. You can listen, but it is entirely okay to not attach any value to their words. I would rather say treat people like their words have value to them. Mind that something might be important to them. But you have to decide, just like above, whether their words are important to you or not. Some people are in fact simply trying to get attention. And if something is of value to you, like let's say "quitting games", than you will not trash somebody with the same words day by day. If a topic has value to you, you will try to deliver this topic with importance. You will not simply waste it by using the same phrases again and again until they are just empty words.* You can only treat people like their words have value if they treat their own words like they had any value. And the last thing: I don't believe a human being simply deserves respect. I think what you mean is in fact - again - value. Respect is something you earn through the consequences of your actions. You should not treat anybody like a "lower form of life". But respect is not something you should simply dish out. Also, the same formula like above applies: You can only respect a person if this person respects him- or herself. If he acts like something matters to him. Which leads me to my last point: Sometimes it is very much necessary to show people what you think or feel about them. It is not simply spotting weaknesses, but it can be helpful to them. Sometimes, we as people have trouble understanding our own interactions with others because we can only see our own point of view. Thus, other people must tackle us from time to time and tell us what they see when they look at us. We don't have to take this criticism as "right or wrong", but we can decide how helpful this insight is to us. I can only say, that in situations when people showed me my weaknesses or my wrong doings, I grew the most. Because I can either agree with them and thus I will see space to grow in myself, or I can disagree and strengthen my own view of myself. Or, most of the time, it is a little of both sides. Balance is the key. Do not be afraid to offend people with your way of thinking, but don't simply run around offending people. You will know best what to do. Like I said in my first post here, you are supposed to look our for yourself first and if you find the energy, physical and mental to help others, you can decide to help them and how much you want to help.

One major problem I see is that guilt will always turn you into a monkey that dances to somebodies tune. When I stopped eating meat and later stopped using any animal product, life suddenly got very hard. Being invited to others houses was a huge challenge. Because even though everybody knew about my new lifestyle, just very few actually knew anything about it. Some served me fish, because its no meat and such. And I would always have to discuss and in the end, many found me to be rude. If you don't act like everybody else, you are rude? Right? Wrong. That is what many people will try to apply to you. But doing something you don't want to do because of guilt will turn you into a guilty person. You will mentally accept that you owe somebody. Just like with this gift. Don't get me wrong, I totally get where you are coming from, but try to distance yourself from the gifter just for a second and think about it: What is a gift? A gift usually is a little something to show somebody that you care about about this somebody. If somebody really does care about you, he or she will understand that this gift is not working for you. If I make gifts - which is quite rare, especially with people that are really close to me - I always try to stress that this gift is not MINE anymore. The moment I give it away, it is yours. You did not borrow it, nor lease it, nor rent it. It is fully yours and you have to decide what you do with it. If you sell it, you sell it. If you give it to somebody else, you do that. That is what a gift is. You don't owe me. Nothing at all. And that is also very important to learn. The more you tell people that you do not want gifts that are about gaming, the more you truly show your real character and at the same time you stand your ground. For me, all these challenges of doing things that are hard to do, are super important. It will strengthen your personality and it will help you in situations of insecurity and uncertainty. Lets put it this way: If you learn to say "no, thank you" now, it will always be easier to stand your ground in any situation. You learn to trust your guts, to be the person you want to be. That is what the article said about respect. I do not respect a whiny person that bends for everybody. But I respect people that stand their ground and are able to make tough decisions, even if they hurt. You, my friend, stand in front of a great challenge that will form you depending on how you decide. You can either decide to make it work somehow to not offend anybody, which is avoiding the true consequence of your own decisions, or you can try to make it work in a different way. Talk to the person first. Try to explain yourself. If the person cares for you, he or she will understand. Thus, you improve your social skills and stand your ground. If he or she does not understand at all, than it is the gift of a stranger and it should be easier for you to deal with it the way you want to deal with it. No matter how you decide, I just want to stress again: These challenges, the moments when we are afraid of something, are extremely important, because the decisions we make in these situations will form our personality. We can grow or shrink or stagnate. No matter how hard it is mate, you got this under control!

I am sorry to hear that. But anger is a quite common reaction to withdrawal of any kind. If you are more distant, he feels that he is losing you and the only way to not lose you is by spending time with you, which he can't unless he stops gaming, which he doesn't want. So, frustration is quite normal, but it will pass and another feeling will take its place. The second one is often sadness or disappointment, but after all the stages of feelings we humans must go through when we fear losing somebody, there will be a good chance to talk about stuff. Trust me. All you can do is verbalize your needs and desires. If they can't be met even after talking about them, than all you can do is look out for yourself. Another thing that came to my mind when reading your last post is that you do not really have somebody to share your thoughts with, right? In that case (or in any other case) I would recommend to open a thread in the journal section of this forum. Even if it is generally used by people journaling their detox, I believe you would benefit from writing down your thoughts and getting replies. People here do not only quit games, they get to know their lives. Thus, everybody experiences kind of similar adventures. Just think about it. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I am sure you would benefit from it.

To be entirely honest, I believe you and your brain have changed massively. I mean, you said you quit and you gave professional climbing a try. You said, you had a relationship with a girl and you had a lot of social contacts. But than, you "failed" at climbing, you learned that your girlfriend cheated on you and you lost many of these social contacts BUT STILL your brain tells you that you should live a life without gaming. That is literal change. The old you would have just said "screw them all, time to game 12 hours a day". You made change. Also, your relapse is not a bad thing, if you ask me. Your world fell apart around you. I know how horrible it feels to learn your partner cheated on you. And with climbing "failing" and the new friends gone, there was not much left. I can just assume that the pain must have been overwhelming and this pain was medicated with gaming. You did, what you needed to do. Instead of being hit so hard that you can't get up again, you found a way to numb the pain for a good amount of time. And now you opened this thread in the forum. You are asking for help to get back on track. I don't see anything wrong in what you did. Only very human actions. What I would suggest now are a couple of things: Most importantly, you should create an island for yourself. Something, a hobby, that is yours and that you do not seek to do professionally. May be, take climbing, but do not take it as an career. Careers have setbacks, they can fail and if you ever get injured, your career would fall apart again while you are left with nothing that you do to be you. Find something that you do because you like doing it. No competition. No money involved. No stakes. Do something for you. And that should stay yours even if you get a new girlfriend. Second of all. Get rid of your girlfriend if she is still there. You don't have to hate her, that is not useful at all, but you don't need anybody that is not trustworthy. There is no reason to cheat on anybody. It only shows low personality. If one feels so alone in a relationship, it is time to talk. Betraying somebody is the wrong way to go and a person who betrays once will do it again. So, again, free yourself of the burden. Don't feel guilty about it. You need to be free to get back on track. Third thing: If you can, find at least one person you can talk to without having talk about gaming. Finding friends is not easy, but a person you can talk to from time to time is a good start. And the last thing is also very important: Free yourself of the guilt. I mean it and I can't stress this enough. I play video games from time to time, because it helps me get through a very hurtful time that I can, sadly, not change at all. In the beginning, I felt like I betrayed this community. But the feeling of guilt is not true to you and it is not helpful at all. The opposite is the case. Because you felt guilty, it was easier for you to play with your old friend. Because you felt guilty, you feel like you relapsed and that you failed. Free yourself of the feeling of guilt. Forgive yourself for gaming. You needed it, it helped you. But don't do anything because you feel guilty. You don't owe your old gaming friends anything. You did not betray them, you did not dump them. You wanted to keep moving and they wanted to stay. Nobody's error, no reason to feel guilty. You don't owe this community anything. When you relapsed, it happened. End of the story. You don't even owe yourself anything at all. You can basically go through life and do whatever you feel like doing. But you said, you wish you could change. So that is what you should be doing. The things that you truly wish to do. Guilt-free. For you. So, like I said. From my perspective, you already did change a lot. You know what you want. You just got set back while trying to achieve it. That happens, no need to punish yourself for it. If you still want to have a life that is not entirely numb, you know what to do. Say "thank you" to the csgo community, appreciate the time together, but keep on moving towards your very own goals. Look out for yourself, trust yourself and allow yourself to fail. Without failing, you will never know what you don't want. Just re-calibrate, get back on track and witness the progress you make. You got this under control, mate.

Totally agree with destoroya. If you can help him build up new habits, like cleaning for example, that would be a great progress. Otherwise, you always have to look out for yourself first. You shall not be dragged down, even if it is hard to witness.

Welcome, Doug. You are extremely mature for your age, love that. Love the fact that you make your own decisions. The spirit you have already shows that you have tons of potential to become whoever you want to be. Like I said, love it. Would have been great if I had been that aware when I was your age. Aaaaanyway, ... ... like already mentioned: You should start a journal on the forums. Why? Several positive effects. First of all: The community will support you. I guess you felt quite alone in the dark when you tried to quit gaming. But with experienced quitters behind you, it will be easier. Another thing is that you often need other people to show you what you cannot see. Like, what drags you back to gaming? What kind of stressors keep appearing during your daily battle? And so on and so forth. It is useful to have people read your journal and support you wherever they can. Another thing is: Do not focus on the negative aspects. Like you said, you managed to quit for 2 days before you went back to gaming. Now you can focus on the fact that "it was only 2 days and than you failed to quit" or you can focus on the fact, that you managed to push back the addiction for 2 whole days. Next time you quit, you might hit 3 days. Or, after being well prepared, even longer. Every step in the right direction is a success in itself. When I read your post, I see a strong guy that will make his way. Why? Because instead of just giving in, you fight. And that shows character, Doug. So, again: Welcome! Great to have you here. Find your way to the journal section and open your very own daily journal. Keep a positive attitude and ask if you need any help. You got this under control.

Always welcome. If I may add one last thing: It will be hell... in the beginning. From my own experience and what I read in many journals, after 2 weeks, you will feel different and later on, there might even be a time when you feel so powerful that you don't really know what mountain to climb first. And somewhere along all of those states, your brain will re-balance. So, don't worry. Its not complete hell, just for a short amount of time. And of course: Kudos to you for completing your first day. The first step is the hardest. Now you got the thing rollin'. baby!

This must have taken you quite some time. I even edited my post later on but your quotation still has the original words in it. So, yeah ... thanks for taking the time. Really appreciated. So, you don't need a list of negative things to see that the positive events outweigh the negative ones. You can already guess it by now, right? But, there is something else I would like you to look at: Baseline attitude when you started to list the positive events. I would ask you to re-read the whole list later on to see what I see. If you haven't seen it already. Might also be just a coincidence, but just bare with me here for a moment. So, again ... this is your baseline attitude when you began listing the positive events. A little defensive and you often tend to relate the stuff you listed to anxieties, which is totally fine. Not criticizing here at all. You also crossed some items because you feel they were not appropriate on a list of positive events, because you lost some steam afterwards. Just as if a later negative would negate the former positive. Let's go on: Defensive, lowering the value of what you did. By the way, who was that judged what you did as "acceptable"? Was it you or anybody else? Anyway, suddenly, only one list item later: You labeled this event as an "über breakthrough". That is not defensive at all and it does not lower the value of the event... at all! From there on, I feel the list reads differently, as if remembering this particular event made a change in your attitude. From there on ... ... you began raising the value of the events you listed. Those are just examples, but I feel they show what happened. Instead of "acceptable" stuff, you talk about success. Instead of "lewd", you raised the value to "intimate". Instead of reserved, you come across quite casual and swaggy, when saying you bitched about something. It does not feel like the value-lowering use of "bitching". And in item 40, you even added that you became quite healthy aaaaand ... handsome. Raising your own value by adding and accepting that you look attractive. Read through the list multiple times if necessary. I feel, the more positive items you listed, the more confident, casual, relaxed and self-accepting you became. And that is what I meant, when I said you have to acknowledge what you do waaay more instead of where you came short, failed or procrastinated. This is a huge list which shows you did an outstanding job in just one year and you need to feed this positivity to your mind so that it can maintain a positive, bright and competent attitude. Read through the list. Do it. With the eyes of anybody but you. Read it like a stranger would read it and try focusing on the subtext that the items deliver and how they change the more items are added. Just do it.

The issues I see with many studies is that the improvements that gaming can cause, are very isolated results. Improved reaction is nice, but I don't know many situations in life where this skills in particular is useful for me. Improving the memory skill however is quite useful, but does every game train your memory? I think it is rather a certain type of game. Not sure if first person shooters help a lot. And while I was always very concentrated WHILE playing competitive games, the opposite was the case when the computer was turned off. Same goes for depression. While playing games, depression was not an issue, because gaming was some kind of medication. Gaming alleviated the depression, but afterwards accelerated it to a point, where gaming is the only way to calm down again. That is basically the easiest way to slip into an addiction. So, I am not saying that the studies are false or bad or whatever, but we usually get only a couple of "summa summarum"-phrases. "Gaming boosts your concentration, is good for your memory and helps with your depression." But the real result of the studies often contains 300 pages of ideas, theories and results. You get what I mean. The results presented to us are often extremely isolated. "Alcohol is good for you, because it calms you down". You know? There is always more to it. And you asked specifically about issues in your real life. In your offline life. And while gaming might help you while you game, the moment you turn the game off, you are back in your real life. Suddenly, you realize, nothing has changed in this life. Because nothing was done in this life. The opposite is the case. You did not call back friends, you did not clean your environment, you did not pay taxes in time, because you were busy. All these are simply examples. But to answer your question: 10 hours is a lot of time of neglecting your real life. Afterwards, you will probably be tired, somewhat stressed. You were isolated the whole time, sucked into a different world. Yes, your issues CAN easily be caused by the way you play, the amount of time you do it or the skills that regress while you train others. Can. Like the others before me said, the best thing to do is go through the 90 days detox. See what life is with 10 hours of useful time per day. See if you feel symptoms of withdrawal. Witness what you can do when you do not play games. Just try it. There is basically nothing to lose and usually, you do not miss out on anything, since the games will always be there. Just try the detox. There is plenty of information in this forum. If you have really urgent questions, you can join the discord-chat. Its text-based and voice-chat so you can freely choose how to ask and you will get quick replies. I am sure your life will improve. Looking forward to see you post your first journal entry. There is a whole community behind you. You got this under control, mate.

Hey Hitaru, been reading your last entry just now and I feel that I might have some words to say. The issue regarding your income is a topic that I can totally relate to. My woman pays the rent and literally everything else. For quite a long time now. Even though she is a hundred percent fine with it, I don't feel complete. I feel that I need my own income to be whole. To be self-reliant, self-sufficient. To be my own person. But I am still struggling. In addition, some of the mean spirited humans use this topic to attack me. Even family members that - in my opinion - waste their entire lives, attack me for not having an income. The first thing a person asks in this country when you meet for the first time is "So, what are you doing?" which does not ask for hobbies, lifestyle or such. People want to ask "what job you are". It seems to be a huge part of the common identity. Whether this makes sense or not should be a different discussion. What I want to say is: I get it. Having your own income is a huge part of becoming yourself, somehow. But, from reading your posts, I see one specific issue: A mix of impatience, perfectionism and self-blaming. Your last phrase kinda states it. You tend to sabotage yourself. And that creates a harmful mindset. I know that feeling from my time when I was sick and heavily depressed. "I failed". I tried, I failed, I blamed myself and I almost murdered myself over it. You know what I mean. Stuff like that. Impatience: One year of abstinence and I have not achieved enough growth in relation to the time spent. Perfectionism: I have not reached a certain goal, so everything is wasted. And in the end: I failed. That is what I wanted to tell you last time when we talked about RescueTime. It can be a great tool, but also a great whip to punish yourself. It does make sense to make good use of your time, but don't kill yourself over it. Don't look for imperfect results. The red bar in the RescueTime statistic always triggers my perfectionism. It is like a red mark on a test. It delivers an urge. The urge to be changed. For some people, the negative things in life have more weight by default. They matter more. And those people, me included, tend to not see or value the other tiny good things that happen. May be, I read too much into it, but I feel you are not acknowledging your progress. One year of no games cannot be for nothing. If you would have continued to game, you would not have trained at all. You would not have realized that you want to do something else in your life. You would not know that income is so important to you. There is a lot of personal progress, growth that took place during this time. And sometimes, stuff takes time and multiple trials. You are extremely smart, gentle and talented. Your English is at a great level. You train, even if you train sub-par, you still do. You get your ass up and do it. You help others on this forum. You have interesting thoughts that you share. You seem to be very empathic, sensitive, which is great. You are a great person and you have turned yourself into that person. You will reach your goals, just don't fill yourself up with worries and don't put too much weight on what did not succeed, which should have succeeded or could have succeeded. Try to find a good balance and value yourself more. If it helps, do a revaluation of the one year of no games. Like, list all the progress you made in one post. I could help you see what you have achieved and I bet the progress will outweigh the failures or setbacks by far! Keep up your head up straight, smile at the person in the mirror. You have come so far, so damn far. Value it. You got this under control, mate.

That is entirely true. And the other 5% are among the 95% of normal people. I for my part found it very hard to gather such a collective of people. I don't get anything out of "normal friendship". I need a soul that is close to mine. Something that goes way deeper than just the ordinary surface. And yes, if you talk like this to normal people, they will most likely think you are arrogant and dislike you. But that is fine. There will be people that totally get what you are saying without relying on a judgemental attitude.

Instantly abused. I hope you guys don't mind if I simply choose the flag I like the most.

Love it! I think everybody can agree that you got some real neat talent there. Glad to see you found a creative way to replace gaming. Keep it up!

That should be a statement printed on T-Shirts and tagged on walls in the subway. Also, another thing regarding Rescue Time. It is indeed a cool feature to look whether your time in front of the screen was well spent. However, I found out that it is only a simple answer for a very complicated question. Because in the end, it heavily depends on your own judgement. Like, what do you declare to be productive and what distracting? I found myself in a troubled situation, when I started using it. What is Game Quitters for example? Distraction or productivity? YouTube. Watching a motivational video or one of Cam's videos will be considered to be distracting, since it is on YouTube. On the other hand, I can declare using my Mail-Software as a "very productive" action, even if it is not. It is so easy to fool yourself when using Rescue Time. One way or another. And one last, but very important thought that came to my mind was: How distracting is Rescue Time? When I look at Rescue Time, I feel it judges me. Because it does. I judge myself. I am being judged. If you are being judged, you usually want to look good. Because a statistics software pointing the virtual finger and you, shouting "You suck" is horrible. Nobody wants to suck. We all want to be good boys and girls. So, I feel, it can create a huge amount of pressure. It tells me that I have to change my behavior. I need to make good use of my time. Otherwise it will punish me with 21% productivity. That pressure is unnecessary in my opinion, because at the end of the day, it is not the statistic that determines whether it has been a productive day or not. It is your own perception. If you look back and focus on the positive things that you have done, it will leave a positive feeling. Thus, you will feel confident and may be even motivated for the next day. But, if - at the end of the day - you get told that your productivity today was below last days productivity or you just see a big red bar of Netflix or YouTube, you might feel like a failure. You might feel that you failed. No matter how good the day was. So, if you ask me, I'd say don't be so harsh with yourself. See if this kind of software is necessary for you or if it turns into some masochistic game (because it surely can) and decide how you want to approach your own process. Also, never stop telling people to get on with it already. Kinda love that attitude. So simple, so straight, so true.

Welcome drflox! Glad to hear that you are totally motivated and like many other people, you decided to reset your priorities and improve instead of slowly letting everything slip away. Nice to have you on board. Depending on where you are right now, it will be helpful to organize some resources for the near future, e.g.: What can you do if cravings come around and such? Also, be sure to start your journal if you haven't already. It is an invaluable tool and will help you on your path. But enough for now. Glad to have you around and keep the attitude you got right now, its golden! Also, I am 31 and from Europe as well. You are not a unique case, no need for shame or such.

Uaskar, tough question you are asking. I can only describe my personal experiences: When I began my detox, I left some dear gaming friends behind. Before the detox, I even suggested to stop gaming together to some of them. In the end, I was alone, which was fine. (Interesting side-note: One of my friends got left by his girlfriend after my detox and the reason was - you guessed it - he was spending too much time gaming.) Going through the detox was tough, really tough at some point. After all, I think it was good to get some distance to my gaming friends, since it would have pulled me back into playing games. So, if you ask me, during your detox you might benefit from being on your own. It helps focusing on what YOU want to do with your life and that is what matters the most. After the detox, it might even help you get in touch with the people again. You might feel changed and you might feel that you belong somewhere else. But while going through all the changes, it is good to focus on yourself and the people that actually surround you locally (offline). You said, that 2 of them show signs of negative influence due to gaming. When you are through with your detox ( - mind: WHEN, not IF, since I am pretty sure you will make it;) ) - you could give them advice on how to reduce or let go of gaming in general. But for now, focus on yourself. This is a very egoistic process, since you have to connect to your inner self before you can connect to others. If - and that can always be the case - you feel that you need to distance yourself from your gaming friends, well than that is what will happen anyway. For me, it was exactly that situation. I still miss some of them and I haven't given up on keeping some of them. Some will stay, some will go. Those who stay are usually the ones, that have something in common with you. Something other than gaming. If you have online-friends that share more than gaming with you, there is a good chance you will find other activities than gamin. For now, I can only stress my main advise: Focus on yourself for now. Go through the detox and witness what you will be when you are done with it. All your questions will be answered by you when this day comes and things will be much more clear. So, mate, stay strong and work on yourself. You can make it. You already took the first important steps. Just go through it. Keep moving and you will, most likely, be a changed person afterwards. Never forget: You are in control! Love to read more of you in the future, Robert

Bienvenido Uaskar! You know, many people suffer from more than one issue, like you mentioned it. Porn, social media, gaming, streaming and downloading movies and so on. We all went through this and I am confident that you will experience a lot of change during your detox. Can't wait to read your experiences! Stay strong, Robert

I feel it is very important for you to understand that everybody hurts people in his or her life. But you have decided to make changes and you have initiated a process to become a different person. You might need to forgive yourself for "past errors" and start focusing on your new way of life. By doing what you do right now, you will help yourself and thus, help others accomplish their goals. Trust me, we all hurt people in the past. But there will be a time to make up. But first of all, you have to forgive the person that has hurt you: Yourself. By treating yourself with respect and value, you will automatically learn and adapt treating others with respect and value. Just keep on going your way and witness the incredible results. Just stay strong! You got this under control!