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NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming

Simon E

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Everything posted by Simon E

  1. It's sad hearing about your cat. Even if we know it'll happen, it hits us hard when the time finally comes. Allow yourself to feel sad about it. I think that's important. Also, good job on resisting the temptation to play. You're right about it being under your control, and sometimes, having just one thing that's in our power really helps. Don't let the exams bring your mood down. It sucks, but there's a billion things more meaningful than the results on a few exams. Nice to see you've gotten this far. Keep going!
  2. I read some of your early posts (stalker warning?), and the similarities between our feelings/thoughts are pretty striking. Then again, that's something I discover when reading most of the journals here on the forum - we are not as different from one another as we might think. Btw, I'm curious; how long have you been without gaming now?
  3. Day 84: Had a really good day today honestly (and it's not even over yet). I've studied quite alot (Alot equals two hours by my standards). There's hope for the coming last weeks. Hope. Also, I finally sat down and thought through my drawing aspirations. For the longest time I've been absolutely clueless - I know I want to be good, but I have no idea what that actually means, and I have no idea what to practise. As a result, I've been skipping my drawing habit for many days in a row. Tonight I sat down and found a neat website with actual lessons and stuff; I'm starting from absolute basics. There's a risk I'll get bored by doing basic stuff, but I don't think so - as long as I have something to do I'm happy. #SlightEdge, heh. So I've regained control of the drawing habit, I think. Also, I've reserved a bunch of self development books at my local library; I should be able to get some of them tomorrow. That front have bee stagnant for a while, I've only reread the slight edge a few times. I need new material to digest. Finally, there's only the writing left. That's where I'm still struggling. I haven't written for real in more than week, and it feels really hard to begin again. There's 2+ hours left of this day though. Before I go to sleep tonight, I will have put 500 words down on paper. Today will mark the beginning of a new writing streak. All in all, today has been great. Which made me doubt my kind-of decision to play again after the detox. Life is good now, why should I change? This makes me feel conflicted. I feel as the decision is already made, but obviously it isn't. I'm still in control. Hmmmmm. I'll wait and see. That's it for today. Hoping to make tomorrow as good as today. Now I'm off to force some words out, peace.
  4. Day 83: @Reno F Hahah, it's kind of an inside joke in my class - we're all considering to stop studying and simply bribe the teachers. I (probably) won't tho; hopefully my maths teacher decides to be nice and overlook some of my mistakes. I am getting quite a few cravings these days, but I still feel like I am in control, which is entirely different from before. If I play now (which I won't) or after the detox (which I maybe will) it will be because I choose to, not because I "relapse". I like the feeling of that. I'm considering to quit all league stuff/series though for the rest of the detox. Not just because of the cravings, but because I get stuck watching hours of it, feeling really dull - staring at a screen, where some fat dude plays video games and cracks the same old jokes. Don't I have better things I can do? Even playing would be better than that shit. Next week I'll have 3 or 4 tests in different classes. Hello burnout! What I'm trying to say is that I'll have to be effective for this to work. Even more so if I want to have time for writing, exercising and guitarplaying (which I do want). So yeah. Fuck consuming!
  5. Congratulations on the halfway point!
  6. Day 82: Man, that's sad haha. Honestly, I know I won't relapse now, whatever happens pretty much. I would be too ashamed of myself if I did. But thanks for the encouragement anyways! @Cam Adair Argh.I mean, you're right, but... School. Oh well. Today I got my shit together somewhat. The test was a difficult nightmare, but if I am terribly lucky and if I bribe my teacher I might might might get an A on it. That would be fantastic. (It would give me an A on the whole course). After the test I took a walk, as I always do after school, but then I crashed on the couch for a couple hours. Yep, league stuff. Following that I got a surge of mixed anger/motivation, so I leaped out of the couch and began actually doing meaningful stuff. I juggled, exercised and now I've also written a few words. Soon I'll have every good habit back in place! After this it's time for some guitar and drawing, then I'm off to bed. A more "negative" thing; I'm almost sure that I'm going to try out gaming after the detox (not immediately, since school, but maybe during the holidays). I know I'll probably wont be able to control it, and I know I might be headed straight to hell, but I think I want/need to do this. The plan goes that I'll attempt to keep all my other good habits in place - the important once will be done before eventual gaming - which I will have time for during the holidays. I'll eliminate all small moments of time-waste during the day, and make sure to be effective when not gaming. It's not written in stone yet, but I think I will. If it proves to spiral out of control, I'll quit again - I know I can. Also, I'll have you guys That's it for today. I'm going to make these last 8 days awesome.
  7. Day 81: @Cam Adair Hmmm. I've been sick, and still am, so that might explain something. As a result of that, I haven't been writing or exercising anything for like a week now. I think that's the main reason to why I feel like shit. I'll have to begin again (when I get the time). @WorkInProgress Honestly, I don't mind being called talented (more than I mind getting compliments overall). I think what my teacher is trying to say is that I'm talented, and so I should work (play) a lot and hard, because talent + hard work = great things. He simply wants me to play as much guitar as possible. Daily report: feeling okay. Been watching league stuff, but the cravings isn't massive, so I'll probably keep doing that. I'm having a national test in maths tomorrow, which is like the hardest fucking thing in school. Also, my final grade in this course will be completely dependant on my result on this test, so I've been studying like a madman recently. Now I'll go and get a good amount of sleep, hopefully. Then I'm going to ace that damn test. Peace.
  8. I agree with workinprogress. Meditation is pretty great. I'm guilty of not doing as much as I'd like (#excuses), but if you do not make such a big deal about it and simply meditate say 10-20 minutes everyday, it'll add up, and the benefits are huge (there's a lot of modern research on the matter). Maybe you already meditate, and I'm just preaching to the converted, but if not, give it a go!
  9. Day 80: 10 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!! #hype #hashtagsbczomghype JK. Sorry. I'm kinda hyped though. The reason why I'm hyped is not something I wanna delve too deep into (is it because I'm proud of finally completing the detox, or because I'll be "able" to play again with good conscience afterwards?) @Tatu92 Thank you. Things did look up for me today. I do not know why. I slept well, I guess. Read some slight edge late yesterday night, maybe the positive message got engrained in my head during sleep? Who knows. Perhaps I should simply accept that some days I'm happier than others, without questioning it. Buuuut it's in my nature to question things, so that might prove to be a problem. Had my last guitar lesson for the year today. The teacher keeps stressing that I've got talent, but idk. I can't handle compliments, lol. I guess I'm decent. Atleast he gave me a bunch of technical stuff to practise on, yay! #SlightEdge #EveryDay. Lel. #Apologiesforhashtagging I really need to pick up on the writing again. I think that's why I've been feeling so down lately. What's a writer without his writing? Nothing. Unfortunately there's this thing called school that's hellbent on screwing me over, but I'll find some time to write. Somehow. I can go write now, actually. Sounds like a plan! I'm signing out. Hope you're all well and moving upwards.
  10. Couldn't you read the 10 pages in bed before putting the lights out? The evening may be changing, but surely you end up in a bed somewhere no matter what's happening? But yeah, maybe it's not too wise to read stuff like that when about to fall asleep. I like to do it that way though - you can contemplate what you've read as you're falling sleep, and the information sinks in during the night. You'll probably find out what's best for you.
  11. Day 79: Woot indeed. Today, I am yet again a bringer of bad news. I kind of, you know, maybe, broke my promise not to watch league stuff. Okay, I did definitely break it. Felt like shit today, and I do not know why, as always. Depressed with no hope for the future - that kind of shit. And so, I gravitate towards league. My one and only coping mechanism. I hope I'm just in a funk atm and everything will get better soon. I've dropped the writing lately - maybe that's why I feel bad? - and I lack the energy to pick it up again. School isn't helping. Neither is the weather. Ugh. I won't make another fancy promise. It would just feel silly, and I think I'd break it pretty much instantly. My plan for now? Survive, and pray for a better tomorrow. I'm glad I have family and friends and you guys, but it's difficult to be grateful when you feel like shit. A big black cloud is covering the sky, drowning every stream of light. Alright, now I'm just being dramatic. I'll scurry away to bed now, curl up under the blankets and totally wake up as a new, stronger person tomorrow. Yeah! next level strats. Alright, that's it. I'll spare the forum from more of my negativity. I'm out.
  12. Day 78: Not even two weeks left now. O_o Good day today. I've done some studying and some personal learning. #progress, yay. Which is something I'll continuew with now. Peace!
  13. Day 77: My 200th post! Yay. I'm coming closer and closer to the end of the detox, something I'm having mixed feelings about. Oh well. No worries. Right now, I'm practically asleep already, so this'll be short. I've gone back to wasting precious time on youtube (not league stuff - other shit), which is bad. That has to stop. Yay! Pleasure having this discussion. ZZzZzzzz. G'night ppl.
  14. I might have said so before, but I really like your journal post-layout. It's neat. Also, your struggle to not wank is admirable haha. It seems to be kinda rough; have you asked yourself why you want to stop? Does it have a negative effect on your life? I mean, is it worth the fight? Just because it's considered bad by society or what not doesn't mean it is. You know what's best for you though. Lastly, if you haven't already, you should definitely go and read the Slight Edge (you probably have heard of it?). I think you would like it.
  15. +1 to what Cam wrote above. You need to muster some willpower and determination, and delete that shit. Then decide for yourself that you won't install it again, or watch any overwatch videos or anything. Get completely game free. Then ofc come here and write about your struggles. We've got your back!
  16. This is where I say that looking at your drawings make me want to quit learning... But no! I'ma become as good as you someday. Keep it up, those drawings are excellent!
  17. Day 76: Feeling alot better today. This has been one of those days when I feel truly alive - like I see the world through a lens, a peice of thin thin glass that makes everything sparkle. Those days are too few and too far between. It disturbs me that I'm so obviously not in control of my mood. I have no idea why today was good, but yesterday sucked. It might have something to do with the first few moments after I open my eyes. Maybe it would be a good idea to take a few minutes in the morning to simply think positive thoughts, visualize the achievement of your goals etc. ? I'll give it a go tomorrow. I love the feeling when you encounter a new activity and you know, you really know that's something that you'll have to learn. When exploring youtube today I came across a magic trick. It looked simple enough, but I couldn't get it right whatever I did. So I sat there for a long trying and trying, forgetting everything else. I realize it'll take a few days to learn even the simplest trick (atleast for a beginner like me), but it's nice to have that learning to look forward to. I've made a list of tricks I'm going to learn. Also, I've decided to keep challenging myself with the juggling. I've been stagnating lately - now it's time to learn a bunch of new cool tricks, and maybe even move on to 5 balls (I'm currently at 4.) The cravings haven't disappeared altogether, but they're not as annoying today. The thought of relapsing doesn't scare me though. I'm alive, and life is amazing no matter what. I might give gaming another shot during the holidays, simply to see if I enjoy it. Cause that's the reason I quit, isn't it? Because I didn't enjoy it anymore. If I find that I still do not enjoy it, I'll just quit again. Easy. A quick ramble, just letting things off my mind (not particularly interesting things, but still things. It can get crowded inside of my head if I let everything stay.) Also, I've begun meditating more! Props to me. Peace, and happy weekend!
  18. If BJJ doesnt suit you, you should try out krav maga. Our practises tend to be effective no matter what (a kick to the crotch hurts even if the one kicking is small ) And yeah @SpiNips, the Slight Edge really is magic. Sometimes when I read it, I get this feeling that when using the slight edge, literally anything is achievable. It's mighty.
  19. Comments like that can really irk the shit out of you, but only if you let them. I'm rather short aswell (it's better now, but a few years ago it was pretty bad), so I know the struggles. Maybe your able to shake em off like it's nothing (if so, I'm envious of you). If not, you should. Let's be short, polite and proud of it
  20. You should write something in English too sometime! So that all we inferior, non-Germans can take part of your writings aswell I would be interested.
  21. Day 75: I'm really struggling now. It's been so long since I had cravings I had forgotten how tough it can be. Literally the only thing that's been stopping me from losing myself in league vids today is the promise I wrote down here. It made me realize how utterly fucked I would be if I didn't have this forum. @hycniejsy Thanks for remembering me. I hope things are easier for you. Yet again I find myself stuck with the idea of fun. I need/want an activity that's just sheer fun, without the pressure that comes with creating (I'm a perfectionist, so I have a hard time being completely happy with what I create). I know gaming probably isn't the answer, since when looking back at league, it's terribly frustrating sometimes. But still, it's the best I can come up with. Argh. If how I feel know is any clue, I'll be right back playing after the detox. I won't completely descend into darkness, I won't allow myself that, but I will be playing. I might do that anyways, as an experiment; an attempt of controlling the gaming whilst cutting losses (playing but still keeping up with your other daily routines). But that's still in the future. Now I have to focus on the pile of schoolwork on my desk. We'll be having atleast two tests every week until the holidays. Hello stress. Hello burnout. Bye spare time. Alright, it's not that bad. It would be bad if I still were the same person as I was when playing, but I'm not. I'm better now, and I know I can handle this. Argh. Whatever. I hope you're all better than this. Peace.
  22. Day 74: Feeling alot better today. I've actually managed to get some stuff done, and I didn't watch any league videos whatsoever. It's time for me to make a comeback. *fetching hammer, superglue and old promises* *loud noises* Phew. Voila! Vow #2: No league content for the rest of the detox (videos, websites - nothing). There we go. That should do it. Hopefully, this kills off all of my plans to play; if not, other actions has to be taken. (I sound like I know what I'm doing. Spoiler: I don't). We'll see what happens during winter holidays. I'll be going back to school tomorrow. Then I can finally tell just how screwed four days of absence got me. Yay. About the future: the idea of becoming a cop police officer actually sounds inspiring. It's kinda hard to even get accepted into the teaching program, and I like the challenge of that. There's tests and stuff (physical and psychological), which gives me something to practise for. I haven't decided yet, but I might go for that. (Ofc I'll keep writing no matter what I do - becoming an author will always be the main goal.) Signing out
  23. Day 73: It's still pretty bad today. I do not have much new to say. Watched more league stuff, which is bad. When I'm done with this sickness I'll have to muster some willpower and tell myself to stop, but not right now. These plans that appears in my head - pictures of me playing again, looking forward to the new league season - they do worry me. It would be really easy to let it happen during the winter school break. Oh well. I'm going to try to turn things around tomorrow. Begin to get back on track. Return to the land of the living, kind of. Peace for now.
  24. Interesting to hear about the diagnosis (even if it sounds kinda uncertain at the moment, haha). Maybe this shows the world is taking this more seriously by the day. Good job with the improvement of your life! You definitely got this.
  25. Good job coming here. That's the first step in breaking free. You've done it once, you can do it again!
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