Grace

I haven't journaled like I said I would, but instead have been attending Gaming Addictions Anonymous (GAA) every day since my first journal entry. Feeling like I got my life back. I plan on continuing my engagement with GAA.

Thanks for the heads up about using the same thread. I wasn't quite sure how to do that; not particularly saavy in this regard, 🙂 onward!

MIssed 2 days posting, hmmm. So much for commitment to a daily journal. Not feeling too bad about this, well really not bad at all because I have attended a GAA meditation meeting daily at 8 am Pacific time. I find starting my morning off with the meditation and sharing sets me up for success the rest of the day. I am inspired by the people that show up, share their story, coping mechanisms, and sucesses. The meditation and reading calm/center me and give me an anchor to return to throughout the day. Today will be my 5th day without a video game as part of daily activities. It's not hard to find other things to do - walk, art projects, reading, connecting with friends. While these things happened when I was playing games - the game was always in the back of my mind. I'm finding that's diminished greatly and when it does show up I think back to the meditation or tell myself this is just a thought, I don't have to follow through, take a few deep breaths and immediately find something to do. While I'm feeling some success, thoughts of letting go of journaling every day occur to me. That seems premature and a set-up for failing. So through Feb, I'll continue journaling and reconsider the 28th. Particularly if I am meditating everyday. Glad to be here, it helps, and wish everyonne on this path success. Peace out.

Morning is when I get on the computer/phone. I usually rise early and have plenty of time to play. I get my coffee, sit down and have at it. Before I know it my day needs to start, I have things to do, but I don't want to stop. I think just a few more minutes and if I absolutely have to stop, I think about when I can play later. Day in and day out this is a the pattern. At first all this was fun,enjoyable, but when it shifted to a need - it lost its lustre. So in the last several weeks I notice I'm tired of it, but can't stop. I tell myself doing this is so ridiculous and I still can't, or rather, won't stop. I think, I need help, but I'm really embarrassed by this addiction. I have experience, knowledge and skills that should allow me to manage this situation and I ignore it all or make a half-hearted attempts at applying what I know would help. Finally, I realize it cannot continue. There's no pleasure in it, it just makes me feel unhappy I'm caught in this loop. The need to stop overrides my need to hide what I'm doing. No matter if I'm ashamed, embarrassed or feel stupid I must reach out, start somewhere to end this addiction. My first journal entry yesterday was that step. Today took another step, made myself more visible - I attended a meditation meeting at Gaming Addicts Anonymous (GAA) and the group was so welcoming and supportive I felt hopeful and positive that I can be successful. I'll be going back regularly to the meditation meeting and plan to attend one of the several general meetings they hold everyday to offer support and guidance to people like me. My experience, knowledge and skills tells me this is the way to go. It felt good this morning to break the pattern. Along with my coffee, I worked on a family photo album I'm putting together, read a few chapters in a book on color theory (love art) and did a ken-ken puzzle (very fun). YES!!!!

Thanks Dave B. I appreciate your response, offer of support. I went to discord yesterday (I already had an account there). Sadly my account is caught in some infinite loop I can't figure out so I can only read, not comment. So I'll read till I can figure out the problem, ha! So it sounds like discord is where you're starting your journey. I definitely wish you success and am willing to offer support to you however I can. Today I attended an 8:00 am meditation meeting at Gaming Addiction Anonymous (GAA). It was a good meditation experience and the group was very welcoming and encouraging (there was time for comments after the meeting and then an informal chat after that). I left feeling very supported, hopeful and will pursue attending the meditation meeting regularly, as well as other meetings. Some members in the group also offer their phone # so should you need to talk to someone you can reach out. Perhaps (GAA) might be of interest to you? I just know for myself accountability to others helps me stop engaging in addictive behaviors. Take care. And I'll leave you with a couple of thoughts from the meeting I attended: - The affirmation from the meditation, which I intend to repeat when I feel pulled toward gaming - I am confident, clear and here; and, - A member share that really resonated for me - whatever is not working in your life is not going to get better by gaming. Sheesh that's sure the truth!

Thank you for this encouraging response. I just attended Gaming Addicts Anonymous (GAA) Meditation Group (every morning @ 8:00am), it was helpfu, informative and the attendees were very welcoming. They have a timed discussion afterwards and then just a chat. I plan to go everyday if possible as I think it's an important to my recovery. I'll keep posting here too! I think, like meditation, it's an effective tool for recovery.

I'm hooked on a video game. Everyday I get up and say I won't play it today or I'll just play for a short time - that hasn't worked. I also tell myself I'll start "quitting" tomorrow and of course I haven't. Hence, I'm here. I"ve put a password on my phone only my husband knows so I can't access google play to download the game. I also removed my android device from my laptop, so I can't install the game from there. I'm guessing these actions will support the other work I must do to stop. I've read the materials offered at this site, found them helpful and will use the information to guide me on my path. One thing I know about myself is that making myself publicly accountable has helped me in the past; I've had success quitting a smoking addiction (10 years now) by joining a group. Knowing that I had to show up and be accountable for my choices helped me think about my behavior in the moment. So here I am, and I'm grateful to be here, making the commitment to not play video games. I plan to check in everyday to share my choices and explain myself as needed. If anyone is out there that would be interested in buddying up (check in on me, I'll check in with you) to mutually offer support/encouragement, that would be fantastic. Otherwise I'm going to just imagine that's the case, that someone is seeing what I'm writing. 🙂 Finally, it's taken my a while to come here because I feel such shame about this addiction; it all seems so ridiculous, yet here I am. I was thinking about joining one of the meeting groups to find additional support and wondered if anyone found that helpful? And about the shame part, I'm too embarassed to tell anyone I know what's going on, my husband knows and is supportive of my quitting. Just wondering how other people handle these feelings. Thanks for listening. Peace out.

Wishing you success.