[How to deal with young family members who game?]

Hi all, 

I'm 67 days into my detox and it's mostly going well - I've had a couple of wobbles along the way but haven't relapsed 😊

What I'd like to know is how to handle young family members who game. My nephew is 6 and it's so hard to get across to him that I can't game with him  any more - he used to love me playing things like Pokemon with him - I'd love to know if anyone else has had this experience and how you dealt with it?

He usually asks for games for Christmas and I'm dreading needing to buy those 😂

 

Thanks! 

[My Journal]

Day 67 - my cravings have subsided a bit now. They're still there buy haven't been as bad. And I haven't given in or relapsed 😊

[My Journal]

6 hours ago, Resonant_Shell said:

Where are you seeing these games? Is it at your phone network job?

If they are console games, are you concerned that you might relapse despite having sold your gaming systems? 

100% yeah, I keep having to stop myself buying a new one 😂 Luckily it's getting easier with time and it's WAY easier to avoid without the consoles. I think if I still had the consoles there would definitely have been a relapse. I mostly see them on Twitter even though I'm sure I don't follow any gamers any more! 

[My Journal]

The past few days have been the worst so far! I keep seeing the new Pokemon games everywhere and it's so hard not to give in. But I haven't given in yet 😊

[My Journal]

Really struggling with cravings at the moment. I haven't given in but I've been so close. One of my hamsters passed away recently and all i want to do is game - I'm a bit pokemon fan, so knowing the new games ate out next week is SO challenging. I just need to try and battle through this

[My Journal]

3 hours ago, Yan said:

Don't let it become an excuse. Do only what is directly related to your work. MEaning: When you have a task at work for which you need to open a game, do it and nothing more.

If you really want to quit gaming in the long hall, I would surely consider being in a job that does not include anything gaming related.

Because you know what they say... "If you hang around the barbers shop long enough, sooner or later you'll get a haircut"

You're so right about that Yan 😊 Luckily with my role I shouldn't need to game at all - we just have to watch videos sometimes on options customers have. I think you're absolutely right though about the job!

[My Journal]

My place of work are doing a hugely focusing on gaming (I work for a phone network) - I'm not sure how to deal with this without getting triggered or relapsing. We're forced to at least learn about it. 

[My Journal]

On 10/23/2022 at 1:30 AM, Yan said:

I've managed to create a reading habit by just having  minimum of 5 pages every day. It's ok to read 100 a day too, but no less than 5.

Thank you. I love that idea. I'll give it a go 😊

[My Journal]

On 10/22/2022 at 2:34 PM, LostRiver said:

Hi, a lot of the long time members here can confirm with you and me how hard it is to pick up a hobby. I have tried to pick up reading for years (wayyy longer than I have been off video games) but still find it tiring some days.

It is true that if you keep working at it, even just a bit every day, something good will come. I have no idea how to deal with the emptiness/ lack of motivation too, so hope someone can help us with that haha.

Thank you so much for the advice, I think you're so right about even just doing a little bit on some days 😊

[AMA - Gaming, Life, Mental Health, Addiction]

My place of work are doing a huge campaign to do with gaming. I work for a mobile phone network - what advice would you give me to do the learning I need about this without getting triggered/relapsing? Thanks 😊

[My Journal]

It's been a while since I posted. I think I'm around a month into quitting now. I haven't gamed during that time so I'm proud of that, but I've had some hella cravings on some days. When I first quit I found it easy to try new hobbies, but as time goes by I keep losing interest in them. I keep telling myself to try but I have NO motivation at all a lot of days. I feel like it'll improve though if I keep trying. I do still read a lot and have had that as my main focus recently. 

[Paul’s Journal]

10 hours ago, Paul A. said:

I relapsed again. Unstructured free time plus a lack of viable replacement activities to pass the time. Relapsing really doesn't get to me anymore; it happens, life goes on. Anyway, I'm trying a "new" approach this time (I put new in quotations because I've tried it before in the past, but I wanted to give it another shot). @Max mentioned in his journal that he's trying a dopamine detox, and I wanted to give it a try as well. I've done a one-day dopamine detox once before, and I really enjoyed it, so I figured I'd give it another go, just with a different spin on it. I'm cutting out all forms of quick-fix entertainment, including social media, porn, and most notably, YouTube. YouTube is the one thing I always run to when I'm bored, so I figured cutting it out would reap some huge benefits. The idea behind cutting these things out is to 1) boost productivity, but 2) and more importantly, figure out what I want to be spending my time doing. I've been feeling some entrepreneurial drive recently, and now is as good a time as ever to capitalize on it. But first, I need to figure out exactly what I need to be doing. I've looked into different small businesses/side hustles I can try, so now I guess it's time to just double down on starting one. Outside of that, I learned that I just default to watching anime when I'm not watching YouTube. I actually want to watch more anime, so this doesn't concern me as much, but there's definitely better uses of my time. Today was actually the first day of my dopamine detox experiment; I deleted all social media and YouTube off my phone and pretty much went without them until I went in to work. I spent that time reading a book that my former schoolmate published, and I watched an anime movie I've been meaning to watch for a while. It was a slow-paced, enjoyable morning, and I'm hoping to replicate that kind of vibe throughout my dopamine detox. As for how long I want it to last, I want this to be a long-term change. I want to pretty much go without these quick-fix entertainment sources for the foreseeable future, and see how I manage without them. Let's see how it goes!

That's a great idea 😊 I've been on an almost permanent detox from social media since around April and it makes a huge difference - over time you'll really start to notice how free you feel. It's also quite nice to feel more "grounded" and in the real world - good luck 😊

[My Journal]

I think I'm about 25 days in now - my medication is making me feel a bit "drunk" and like everything is in slow motion today so I'm going to take it easy, but I did make some progress with my writing yesterday.

 

I had some nasty cravings this morning and really wanted to go on the Switch - I'm so glad I sold it as otherwise I may have given in. I'm really pleased with my progress but also know that there's going to be roadblocks and that is normal.

[My Journal]

On 10/7/2022 at 9:00 PM, Captain_Pilz said:

Just found your journal: Great to have you here! 😄 You are doing really well. Handling multiple mental health issues at the same time is not a joke. 

Finishing a draft of your first short story is also something to be very proud of. Don't sweat about the quality of your writing. Nobody writes good stories from the get-go. You'll get there.

 

By the way: I also sold my console when I first quit... Really good decision!!!

Thank you for the support 😊 I'm really glad I sold it too. I've been getting cravings and it's so nice not being able to give into them. How are you getting on?

[Paul’s Journal]

22 minutes ago, Paul A. said:

Thanks, @purpleluke. I’m glad to learn I’m not the only one who struggles with that. I’m sure we’ll figure it out in time!

Definitely! I think the gaming could honestly be a part of it - with the way it affects your dopamine you're always looking for a new rush and new excitement- nothing seems as fun as gaming for long and then you switch to something else and so on. Hopefully we'll see a reduction as we go through this journey 😊

[My Journal]

11 minutes ago, Paul A. said:

Apart from relapsing, I’m doing alright. I’m getting into forex trading, which is pretty exciting. The world of investing and finance has always interested me so I’m having fun diving back in

That's good to hear, I read about that in your journal and it sounds like something you're really passionate about. I hope it goes well 😊

[Paul’s Journal]

16 hours ago, Paul A. said:

I relapsed today.

I started my day feeling a bit off. It was a mix of boredom and a lack of excitement to get the day started. I guess that was my indication that something was wrong, but I ignored it. I tried to do a bit of game development when I got bored, and I had a good therapy session this afternoon about my tendency to jump from activity to activity, but after that, the day kinda fell apart. I started to feel really bored in the late afternoon, and I ended up re-downloading Roblox after a while. I played for maybe 30 mins to an hour, but it gave me a headache and I just didn't really enjoy it overall. Even after only 2 weeks of going without gaming, I found it's just not as stimulating as it used to be. Maybe because I had a bit of a hypomanic obsession with computer programming for a week or so, I found that gaming simply wasn't as exciting in comparison. But instead of going through the whole deletion process after only 2 weeks, I just handed the account over to my brother. I transferred the account to his email address and had him change the password, effectively locking me out of the account.

So, what have I learned in the past two weeks? For starters, I learned a lot about myself. I figured out that I tend to hop from activity to activity really quickly. Probably because of my bipolar disorder, I become really interested in some new hobby/activity, only to lose interest after a short period of time. It's been happening for years now, and I honestly don't know how to address it. Second, it's still vital to find activities to take the place of gaming in your life. For at least the first week, my obsession with computer programming ensured that I was never bored. And third, I learned that I'm still dissatisfied with my life at some level. Even after quitting games, I don't like my job, I constantly check my phone out of boredom, and I have a burning desire to make more money to invest. I even went so far as to look into starting a small business/side hustle. From these three takeaways, it's obvious I have a lot more work to do beyond simply quitting video games.

As far as next steps, I guess I'm starting over from day 1. Relapses are part of the journey, so I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. As far as activities go, I’m gonna start reading a lot more. I’ve settled on reading because it’s a favorite pastime of mine, and I’ve been able to spend long amounts of time doing it, so I figured it’s worth a shot. I also need to figure out how to address these bigger issues in my life, namely the dissatisfaction and my "shiny object syndrome", for lack of a better term. No one said quitting games was gonna be easy, but I'm surprised at how much I've learned about myself because I made the decision to quit. Anyway, that's all from me for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow for day 1 (again).

You handled the relapse really well 😊

I completely understand what you mean about the shiny object syndrome, I've been terrible for that in the past too. Gaming was the one consistent thing I always went back to. Other hobbies, activities and even career interests have changed consistently. 

I think I'm in a similar place to you career wise too.

We will get there in the end 😊

[My Journal]

57 minutes ago, Paul A. said:

You’re doing great!

Thank you 😊 How have you been getting on?

[My Journal]

I've forgotten completely to post over the last few days. I'm into my 3rd week game free now and today I've just completed a draft of my first ever short story. I would never had time for this when I was gaming so I'm over the moon.

I'm struggling with my sleep still but I think my meds are slowly starting to settle now.

[My Journal]

1 hour ago, Yan said:

Why 3 hours of sleep?

I think it's insomnia but I'm hoping it improves 😊

[My Journal]

I'm feeling a bit tired today, I've only been getting around 3 hours sleep a night lately. But trying to stay positive. Will update more later 😊

[No useless videos for 90 days.]

Well done on deleting your account, that's a huge step. You've got this 😊

[My Journal]

6 hours ago, Yan said:

Awesome job! Keep it up!

 

I disagree. I find those medications as symptom treating, and distracting you from solving the problem at the core.
That's not to speak about all the side-effects that this chemistry has on your body

I can see what you mean about medication. I HATED having to go back on it as I get really bad side effects, but it got to the stage where I had to. I had 5 months of CBT earlier this year and at that point, they said that if my mental health relapsed again it would be the only way to stabilise things. 

 

You're so right about distraction from the problem at the core though. For me, it's triggered mostly by work and I'm actively seeking new work.

 

Thanks for your support Yan and for reading my journal so far 😊

[Paul’s Journal]

4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

Day 9 Game-Free

Fairly unproductive day today. Unfortunately, I caved to PMO last night. No excuses, I just didn’t put the proper safeguards in place. I need to be more cognizant of when that time of the night rolls around. Once the desire for sexual release kicks in, it’s almost impossible not to get swept up in it. At the very least, I’m not acting out by spending money on escorts and sexual partners like I used to do. Fortunately, I’ve been able to keep that under control. Now the real threat is pornography. I’m gonna have to find creative ways to limit my access to it and otherwise abstain from watching it. But I’m sure I’ll figure out what works for me in time.

I didn’t spend as much time on web development as I would’ve liked to today. Call it laziness or procrastination, probably both. I’m getting to the stage where I can’t be carried by motivation alone. I’m gonna have to rely on a bit of discipline. Whether it means setting aside some time each day dedicated to learning web development, or just making sure I study a bit each day, I’m gonna have to incorporate some discipline into my learning. As more and more people are getting hired at my workplace, I’m more motivated to get out of there as fast as possible. I don’t want to compete with other salespeople for customers. My heart just isn’t in it. There was a stretch of about a month where I was incredibly motivated, but that motivation has long since dried up. Either way, I want to leave that sales job as quickly as I can so I can transition into web development. But in the meantime, I’m gonna have to stay disciplined with my studies.

I moved some money back into my brokerage account. Right now, my dad is receiving half of my paychecks and putting them towards savings, and I get the other half. I figured it was time I learned to be more responsible with my half. After many failed attempts at saving money, I learned that I’m just no good at it. If there’s money sitting in a readily accessible savings account, I’ll spend it, without fail. But what I am decent at is investments. I used to take investing very seriously, and I educated myself a lot on the subject. I once had a lot of money tied up in crypto, and I even made a decent profit off it (I lost it all due to market volatility, but I digress). I bring all this up to say that I respect the value of investing money as opposed to saving money. If I have money tied up in investments, appreciating and growing in value, I’m much less prone to spending it frivolously. That’s because I find investing a lot more beneficial and a lot more exciting than saving. In a sense, my investment account has become my savings account. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to have a bit of money in savings (I’m sure @Ikar would kill me if I didn’t, haha), but I’d rather keep the bulk of it in investments. I’m excited to grow my account over time. I’m already planning to contribute half of what I receive from my next check straight to investments.

I apologize for the wall of text today, I just had a lot to share. I applaud if you made it all the way to the end, haha. I’ll be back tomorrow

I think we all have days like those (and actually need them sometimes to recharge)  - I've had some days where I just can't face writing or doing much, and that's okay. You're doing great and try not to much too much pressure on yourself. One step at a time 😊

I've been the same as you with money in the past. I have to put all spare money straight into a joint account with my partner so he can tell if I've withdrawn anything.

Best of luck with your continued journey 😊

[My Journal]

I had a really bad panic attack during the night last night - I think it may have been a side effect from the meds. I've also been getting a lot of nausea. 

I've been keeping myself busy today and mostly been practicing my writing - I really enjoy it. I already read a lot and writing feels really natural (although it may be a load of rubbish!)

I wouldn't say I've specifically had any cravings for games, but if the consoles had been there, this would have been the sort of time I'd probably have caved in. I'm proud that I didn't.