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Luny

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  1. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    April has not been a stellar month for me for several reasons. In March I was down to one hour of gaming a day and working on my novel. Some days, I'd even skip gaming. Then my friend who placed the parental controls on my wow account, thought I was doing so well, that he thought it was time to turn them off. In my heart, I kind of knew that it was not a good idea, but I agreed with him to try it. Around the same my author's class that I was taking for 8 weeks ended the end of March. It was a relief, but I found myself flopping into a slump of depression-like symptoms. Of course, I gravitated to play more wow, an hour in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Of course I wrestled with myself about the extra gaming time in my heart and head. I knew it wasn't what I wanted to be doing. I have been trying to get back into the writing mode but I can't seem to find my writing mojo. Insecurities in my head tell me I am a shitty writer, etc. Luckily my writing instructor started a writing lab and I joined it. It is a commitment I need so I can work with like-minded individuals who will help each other along on this journey. So I emailed my friend, to lock my account with limited evening hours of wow... and that went into effect today. So I will go back to my one hour a day of play. I would LOVE to quit wow permanently. But I am divorced and live in a rural area, and there are few opportunities for socialization at my age. So wow has been a "crutch" for that reason. Most of my friends are married and have families and very busy lives. In contrast, I am single with no children and retired. Plus I am a hard core introvert. Now that spring is here, I have pushed myself to do some things. I went out to lunch alone the other day and ran into my cousin and her friend. So I dined with them and made a new friend. Baby steps. My 3 bedroom house is way too big for me alone. I will sell it in a year or two after I complete a few home projects and down-size my "stuff." My plan is to get a small apartment in a local city with will be closer to appointments and society. Perhaps then I could find some things to keep my busy like volunteer work for animals or part-time tutoring. le sigh. I feel like a hopeless mess, but I know that is not true. I am a work-in-progess.
  2. Congratulations, Damje. You are doing great! 👏
  3. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    March has been a busy month for me. My main push was getting the outline for my novel completed. The novel outline includes the main genre plot along with sub-genre plots and main character arcs...and it is broken into scenes, not chapters. I just finished mine yesterday on March 22. Next step is to finish classwork to module 6 this week. Then Sunday I get back to writing my rough draft. I have planned out that it will take me 3 months work to complete 80,000 words. As you can see, completing this goal of writing a novel has been my main focus. If I was gaming like usual, my dream would not be happening. I had a rough 2 weeks healing my bronchitis. One day I just felt like gaming since I was stressed and sick. My friend went to alter the parental control of my gaming account, and he felt I was doing do well...he took them all off. So how do you think I handled that? The same way I have-- allowing myself 1 hour to game per day, if I feel up to it. If I do not feel like playing, I skip it. My priority is getting enough rest to get up early and start my day writing. I will admit that it is nice to to be able to choose the time I put my hour in. I know most gamers need to quit cold turkey to get control of their addiction, and I do understand that. Maybe because I am now at the older age of 62, I'd rather moderate my gaming so I can fully reach my goals.
  4. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    This morning I watched Cam's new video on 2 million views on his Tedx talk and what he learned. I too felt grateful about my recent success jumping off the hamster-on-a-wheel mindless gaming cycle. I have tried quitting numerous times and I was unsuccessful. This time, I changed my approach. Instead of the all or nothing approach (I must quit 100% to find success), I modified it and tried the "weaning myself off game dependence" approach. Much to my surprise, it ended up working. I had a dear gaming friend of mine log into my account and put parental controls on it. Basically I wanted to be blocked out of gaming so I could use most of daylight hours to work on writing a novel. I gave my friend the hours I wanted available for gaming and we tweaked it once. I might add that my friend is not an easy push-over. (The yahoo even blocking me for shopping on Blizzard's website. LOL) So we designed the times M-Fri 3-8 and Sat & Sun-1-9. When we started this in January, I was freaking out with anxiety inside. Coffee and playing wow was my ideal morning being retired for the last 3 years. I was so bitchy I couldn't even stand myself (I live alone), but I persisted and pushed through it. I have started taking a class a writing a novel that started in February-- I am down to the last 3 weeks of it. It has been a huge amount of work but I have learned so much! And my novel process is inching along quite nicely. It is funny looking at the wow hours I have given to myself, because now I allow myself one hour a day to play--if I want to, that is. Some days I don't feel like playing...and I don't. Some days I do, but honestly I can only tolerate 1 hour. I still enjoy the one hour to relax and "forget" the world. But it is "enough." I usually like to put my one hour in from 3-4pm. It breaks up my day. For me, this is success. I hope that one day I might not even need/want that one hour a day gaming... but baby-steps.
  5. Challenge yourself to reach out and talk to one person a day that you normally would not talk to. It could be someone at school, work, church, or someone in game. That would mean you communicated with 7 new people that week. I live alone and retired. My friends are a bit younger than myself and still work. So I challenge myself to do this activity when I am out and about. It really is not that hard and it gets easier the more you practice. Good luck!
  6. An author I know had a discussion going about a model for /his/her new book cover. I remembered reading a cool story about the guy and how he lost a huge amount of weight. He admitted that he "was pretty addicted to World of Warcraft." Interesting article. Kevin Creekman
  7. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    So-----I am popping in for a quick update! My life is all about writing & being an author right now. Taking 2 classes for authors. Boy, they are keeping me busy. So tired of winter in upstate NY. Off to my niece's wedding in Florida next month. Gaming? What the hell is that? Life is busy and good--without it. 😀
  8. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    In May 13, 2021, I had a nightmare in my sleep, and thought I was killing a snake in a field of grass. I jumped out of bed and was disoriented as to which side I was on. I fell with my full weight on my left knee and shin. Then I faceplanted into my tall, wooden jewelry armoir which I directly hit with the bridge of my nose. Then it tipped over and fell on my head. I certainly should win the gold medal and clumsiness! My knee and calf swelled up and I ended up with 2 lovely black eyes. I went to the hospital and was xrayed and had CAT scan. My knee and leg was not broken--just badly swollen. Of course I had a concussion and now I rock a Harry Potter-esque scar on my forehead. Luckily I got bangs cut to cover that up. Thirty days later, my knee started oozing a brown liquid. Slow at first, then profusely. My knee had gotten infected. So they hospitalized me for 6 days and had me on IV antibiotics. An orthopedic surgeon did surgery on my knee to clean out infection. Then they put a wound vacuum on my knee for 37 days. When it came off, it was August 2021. Definitely took weeks to get my strength back. My calf still swelled so he had an MRI done. Prognosis: deep hematoma trauma which will take time to heal. It amazes me how a simple fall in my bedroom turned into a three month ordeal. Crazy shit!
  9. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    Wanted to share something that was funny, but in a cool way. Sunday I was busy--with an afternoon writing class, plus chores. Monday I accidentally slept late, got up, and hit the floor running with to-do's. My second writer's class officially started Monday 1/31. It wasn't until 3PM that I realized that I hadn't turned on my cell phone. I flicked it on and had a text from my online friend in wow, the friend who set up the parental controls on my account. His text said, "Are you alive? I have not seem you online all weekend." I responded that I was busy with writing course #1 and course #2 and that I am on chapter 7 of my novel. He was happy that my interests have focuses on another area of my life. I am quite pleased as well. Actually, I am proud. 😃 I feel badly that I wasn't successful at going cold turkey to quit gaming. Truthfully, I never do thing the "normal" way. I always dance to the beat of a different drummer. I am thrilled that my weaning off wow has happened in a natural way. Watched Cam's new video this morning. I really liked it. I think it is important to hit the three areas mention when quitting gaming: Creativity: drawing, painting, music Self-care: cooking, reading, podcasts, music, pets, and journaling Reconnect with body: hiking, meditating, exercise, walking, gardening, etc. Board games (extra) I need to reconnect with my body. I have been avoiding it because my leg injury from my fall 6 months ago... is STILL healing. 🤕 Movement would be most helpful. Have a great day, everyone!
  10. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    Luny update: Parental controls working for me. At first, I was miffed that I agreed to it. Truth is, I asked my friend to do it. But now, I LOVE it. In week 2, it is weaning me off the desire to play. I enjoy being productive during the day. Sometimes I am so busy in a task, that I forget that I can log into the game to play. A fog has lifted from my brain. You know the feeling...when you game and forget real world responsibilities and people...when you are in the "zone." I have more clarity. Chap 6 of the novel I am writing is completed! I was stuck after the first 2 chapters, so I am glad that I was able to break through that hurdle last week. Today I am onto chapter 7. I set up my progress calendar by word count. I wish I did it by chapter. Winter is here in upstate NY. A Canadian cold front has been bringing cold air down from the North. Right now it is -7 F. The temperature is really cramping my routine and errands.
  11. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    I felt a spark inside today regarding my writing. I was watching the video of the writing class I missed on Sunday--and it was a really important class. In the middle of watching the video, I got so excited as if a spark hit my brain... I had to pause the video and open up my chapter 1. I found myself looking at it with "different eyes." I immediately started typing away fixing X and tweaking Z. I was very pleased with my improvements.
  12. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    This evening was rather relaxing. I ate dinner watching TV and got interested in a TV show. I actually watched 2 episodes and enjoyed it. I dvr'ed the third to watch tomorrow. Felt good.
  13. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    I am not being successful with balancing. I may be a Libra, but I suck at walking a tightrope...
  14. Luny

    Luny's Ledger

    I feel beat up today--emotionally, by myself. Ugh. 🤕 I faced reality and honestly it wasn't pretty. Let me explain-- I feel like a lunatic inside. All by my own doing. So I have survived the first week of parental controls on my account wow. The times were skewed a bit too late and screwed up my regular schedule in life. My friend and I discussed it, and he made of few tweaks to the playtime. Did it help? Yes. I can now cook and eat dinner at the normal time. But then I came right back to my thought when I joined respawn--- why the hell do I bother to play at all? Even though I enjoy my writing time and doing real life stuff, when I do play wow it makes me feel so retentive via my inner monologue: You are so behind on all your toons. You only do dailies on 2 a day. You had time to farm but now you out of mats and flasks. etc etc etc The 9.2 patch is due to come out and you are not ready... I am literally making myself a nervous wreck because I am still the hamster on the wheel-- half the time. I took a freebie writing course this week which was amazing. I then signed up to do her paid course which is a 2 month commitment. So my life is gearing up with upcoming change and I also started chapter 6 in my novel. Why is it so hard to shed a habit that has outgrown its use/need?