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Kaizal

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  1. Also keeping in mind that my judgment isn't super clear right now just because I didn't play games in 3 months. So all of this I'll talk over with my therapist and get her input, if anyone is reading I would also appreciate the input in this specific instance
  2. The exam stress is getting heavy but I still haven't played, I hit 3 months the 17 of this month. Looking at games again now, first of all, I still wouldn't ever play a gatcha, that's set in stone. The damage those games do to me is gigantic. However other games haven't been that damaging to me I think. They keep me having fun, enjoying myself and playing with people I enjoy being around with, the problem comes along when it becomes my sole refuge and I distance myself from people because of them. Then I start feeling lonely, worthless, unaccomplished, generally terrible. And to be honest that's not excusive to games, this happens whenever in life I start getting stressed out way to much. Which is easy for me given that I have an anxiety disorder. So whenever I'm feeling like shit, and can't do anything at that specific time, instead of delving into thought's that harm me a shitton, thinking about a videogame is more fun to me, I have something to redirect that huge amount of anxiety over to. Nothing in my life has gotten way better because I quit playing games, even though I was going to the gym quite a bit and enjoyed it. Talking and hanging out with friends just like normal. I feel like the problem to me are specifically the kind of games that try to fuck with my brain to get to give them money. And the rest are just fun games, that I overplay whenever I feel bad, but I have a good time with them, and they don't make me feel bad if everything else in my life is in order.
  3. I'm gonna have to study quite a bit in a week from now since exams are approaching. So trying to figure out what to do for a week until I have to start studying again doesn't seem worth it.
  4. Still alive, still not playing, kinda hard recently though ngl, since I have a shitton of spare time now.
  5. Was feeling good today until my self-worth issues kicked in and fucked with a relationship that is quite important to me atm. Frustrated af. Urge to play kicked in but didn't do it. Gonna apologize for being a dumbass to this person. Anyways, gatchas still suck ass. Genshin can fuck itself i'm not playing it. Warframe not atm.
  6. Still alive, still not playing, life's been better than terrible, so, yeah. That's my progress report of the day.
  7. I appreciate the intention of helping. However right now I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist working as a team to give me the best possible medical attention for my mental health profile right now. If I want advice on what to do, I will ask as I have done before, this is primarily a thread to remind myself to not play games for the period I have set for myself. The task is time bound, because the nature of it, is to make my brain function more normally, so that I can assess at what point do which games become damaging to my health without having a dopamine withdrawal clouding my judgment and with mental health professionals by my side so help me make that call. So again I would appreciate if you could refrain from giving advice that hasn't been asked for.
  8. Still going strong and not playing. Finals are close, let's see how it goes.
  9. Already replied but a second reply. The games that I find that actively damaged me the most, namely gatchas, I actively avoid looking at any info related to them, so at least i'm not behaving that self destructively.
  10. Also, still haven't played though, and will not for at least 2 more months. But I will definitely never ever touch a gatcha again, and while all else might be going to shit, that isn't.
  11. It's specifically about one game, Warframe. And it's because it's the best game I have ever played for me, no abusive monetization. Good events, but playing outside of those events it's still worth it. And the game keeps going in the direction I want it to go. And it never felt like if I don't play now, I won't be able to get this later. So when it comes to mental health issues, this game has had the mildest impact of them all in perspective. I do want to play that game quite a bit, but I have committed to not doing it for 3 months at least. And this might all be the dopamine withdrawl speaking. I have been diagnosed an anxiety disorder last week and while not depressed exhibiting several symptoms of depression. I guess that theorycrafting and watching the news has been my way of looking away from the pile of shit my life has been the last few weeks.
  12. I'm going to really have to start to stop keeping up on news on the games I like, it just gives me unnecessary stress knowing i'm "missing out" on things that depending on how the detox goes and my plans for later, I might get anyway. And if I decide to stop playing all games all together, it doesn't matter what i'm missing out on. So shouldn't stress myself with it. Starting to catch up on my studies though it might be a little to late in some cases. Got diagnosed an anxiety disorder last week and I can't say I was surprised. Dealing with it as best as I can.
  13. Haven't posted in days, but still haven't played at all. Not because of lack of temptation though.
  14. Still going strong, putting my rutine back together.
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