Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming

Shonnasen The Light

Members
  • Posts

    33
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Shonnasen The Light

  1. Is there a connection between sexual health and digital entertainment ? 

    Are there norms that we take for granted ? Both for male sexuality and video games. Example:  *Men shouldn't express certain feelings  *Sex / video game is a performance; the result is the measure of fulfillment in life   *A man's man stick should always be hard with erection during sex / A person ' s worth can only be seen in a video game's progress and collection .....    

  2. On 8/10/2023 at 9:36 AM, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    It's even helpful for hearing people in situations like having to communicate across a room, say a library or something, quietly!

    That' s a good point. Also in noisy office places, too. I think it's better to use arm signs instead of yaping like angry all the time 😂

    On 8/10/2023 at 9:36 AM, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    I am a classroom learner, and I can't really afford tuition fees 😞

    There are no free groups out there to practice by doing it ? I think the best way to learn is not sitting in classrooms, but by moving my arms out there, comunicating live, like volunteering in a disabled charity or something ? 

    • Like 1
  3. On 7/24/2023 at 7:29 AM, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    I really want to learn more ASL (American Sign Language.) I took one semester in college and I still remember fingerspelling really well which definitely helps, but there's so much I've forgotten, and so much I never learned!

    My partner is hard of hearing, and only knows the signs our daughter knows ("baby sign") it would be incredibly helpful for us both to learn ASL so we can communicate more effectively.

    Wow cool. the sign movement for baby ones are different from the adult ones ? That's complicated ?

    My dad and me could learn some together. He is hard of hearing, but too proud to admit any weaknesses and ask for help. ahhhh  the tough fathers...... 

    • Like 1
  4. 2 hours ago, DanielG said:

    I just started it! It's the book my Sunday morning men's group is reading together. First impressions are that it is well-written.

    That's great. I am reading Calnegie's "How to win friends..." haha. I probably will be in dating group activities in the future, with all sorts of men and women. I like pretty women, with intelligence 😊 

    • Like 1
  5. 10 hours ago, DanielG said:

    Tuesday journal on Wednesday.

    The day off was nice after working 6 days in a row. Originally my schedule was going to be 8 days in a row, but my work changed it, which I am thankful for. The day itself was fairly chill. I planned to get a suit jacket, tie, and pair of shoes for the wedding coming up next week (I found a nice shirt and pants already). When I got to the consignment store, they weren't opening for another hour or so. So, I went to Iconoclast to have a cold brew coffee and read the new book I picked up the day before to kill some time. First impressions of the book are good; it's well-written, and I learned a new word, inculcate. The definition Google gave me is: instill (an attitude, idea, or habit) by persistent instruction. Nifty!

    After my coffee, I headed back to the consignment store, Lux, and looked at suit jackets. The guy working at the store was quite helpful and picked out some nice ones for me to try, as well as some ties to go with it. He let me put the stuff I liked on hold while I recruited my mom to carry the precious cargo back in her car. So, I headed home to go get my mom.

    When I got back home, I talked to my mom about getting the stuff from the consignment store. She said we already had suits, and went upstairs to look for a complete suit. It had been tucked away and ended up fitting really well. So, I only needed the shoes and the tie. We went back to Lux. My mom felt like celebrating my success yesterday, so she paid for the tie and shoes, paid for the pants to be hemmed, as well as purchased a soccer ball for me 😄 . The latter two we went to a mall to do. While we were there, she also tried on some clothes 😆 . Ultimately, she didn't get anything. I picked up a daily journal with prompts and a trio of cheap books, though! Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. So now I have a big backlog of books to read, hehe. I asked my mom to drop me off at a nearby field to try out my new soccer ball, which she did. She went home to visit with her friend.

    The field was closed to the public, lol. Ah well. I found a strip of grass near the bike path a few blocks down the main road that worked well enough and kicked the ball around. I know it probably seems a bit depressing, just some random guy kicking a ball around by himself, but it was good fun for me 😆. I headed back after some time and visited with my mom's friend as well. I showed her my new books and new shoes. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius in particular reminded her of her brother, who passed away a couple years ago from complications due to Covid. We always have good conversations, and it was good to spend time with her. She left after a while.

    Visiting done, I decided to do my regular bike route through the river valley. It was a solid ride. I managed to reign in my monkey brain enough to enjoy the scenery, sounds, and smells around me. I also made a decent pace on certain stretches, which was cool. Climbing up out of the river valley wasn't too bad either. I remember when I couldn't really even do it 3 months ago. The ride was over an hour long and roughly 22km. I'm happy with the pace, though I think it would be cool to hit an average of 20km/h for the whole ride.

    When I got back home, I decided to go kick the ball around again, which was still quite fun. When I got back, my mom had finished making dinner: pork schnitzel with mushrooms sauce. The sauce was homemade and delicious. The pork had good flavour but wasn't crispy; it wasn't my mom's fault, the store bought schnitzel seemed lower quality than normal. Lots of fat lol.

    After dinner I read the intro and wrote in the Five Minute journal. I'm hopeful having the prompts and stuff will keep me on track, and the shorter format will keep me more consistent compared to this journal. I still want to make time for both, though. I believe having this freeform one helps me reflect on my day and express myself a more than just the short prompts. I am probably going to just use the same gratitudes between to the two, though 😛 .

    One Thing That Went Well Today:

    I had a good bike ride today.

    Gratitude:

    I am grateful for the honesty and forthrightness people can exhibit. I admire and respect when people are candid with each other.
    I am grateful for my sobriety from alcohol and video games (and all other drugs). Without these things, my spirit is free to grow, so many opportunities and gifts come into my life.
    I am grateful for the beautiful world that surrounds us. There are so many interesting and wonderful sights, sounds, and smells that we can pay attention to.

    2 Hours of Productivity:

    No.

    IMG_1528.jpg

    So. Did you read "The obstacle is the way" ? that white book in your photo. I heard it is a good one. Do you recommend it ?

    • Like 1
  6. That must be a painful , frustrating feeling. For any parents. 

    I think the best way is to look at YOURSELF first. I agree with the idea "to change others, change thy self first. Become the change. Then the others will follow. Or leave." children will not leave parents forever, unless something serious is happening. ONLY trying to change others without changing the self is the common way of avoiding responsibility. Because you want to get good image for yourself, from your child's good behavior, don't  you ? Are you willing to sacrifice for your child ? humans are all selfish. The goal is to Eventually change others, BUT to get there, the best way is to change THE SELF.....Wa ?? !! 😵‍💫😵🤮

    Reading books help. I recommend:  1. the road less traveled. look at the parenting topics      2. seven habits of highly effective people.  look at "the first habit“ , or "paradigm shift" and the author's own problem with his child.

    Oh, I am struggling, too. No hard feelings ? 

  7. 1 minute ago, Shonnasen The Light said:

    Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ?

    I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version. 

     

    12 hours ago, DanielG said:

    Sunday journal, Monday morning.

    The day went well. I caught part of the morning men's meeting before heading to work. Even though it was somewhat busy compared to other days, the lady training me said that it was actually quite slow for a Sunday, lol. After work, I chilled at Starbucks with a coffee to wait for the bus. There were some loose plans to hangout with my friends. My mom also let me know that our neighbour from down the street wanted to go out for Japanese food. I also had to work early the next day, so I had to consider that if I wanted to go to both. Dinner was delicious, surprisingly their smashburger was my favourite part of the meal, but it ended up running later than I expected. I decided to not hangout with my friends so I could get enough rest for work. Chill enough Sunday. I also hit my first weight goal (sub-200 lbs.) yesterday too. The Japanese food pushed me back over it though lol, but I'm confident I'll keep on making progress.

    One Thing That Went Well Today:

    Dinner went well 😄

    Gratitude:

    I am grateful for delicious Japanese food.
    I am grateful for beautiful morning skies.
    I am grateful for the words of encouragement from others.

    2 Hours of Productivity:

    Yes.

    IMG_1518.jpg

    IMG_1519.jpg

    IMG_1520.jpg

    good luck, bro. Let's change together 😇

    • Like 1
  8. 12 hours ago, DanielG said:

    Sunday journal, Monday morning.

    The day went well. I caught part of the morning men's meeting before heading to work. Even though it was somewhat busy compared to other days, the lady training me said that it was actually quite slow for a Sunday, lol. After work, I chilled at Starbucks with a coffee to wait for the bus. There were some loose plans to hangout with my friends. My mom also let me know that our neighbour from down the street wanted to go out for Japanese food. I also had to work early the next day, so I had to consider that if I wanted to go to both. Dinner was delicious, surprisingly their smashburger was my favourite part of the meal, but it ended up running later than I expected. I decided to not hangout with my friends so I could get enough rest for work. Chill enough Sunday. I also hit my first weight goal (sub-200 lbs.) yesterday too. The Japanese food pushed me back over it though lol, but I'm confident I'll keep on making progress.

    One Thing That Went Well Today:

    Dinner went well 😄

    Gratitude:

    I am grateful for delicious Japanese food.
    I am grateful for beautiful morning skies.
    I am grateful for the words of encouragement from others.

    2 Hours of Productivity:

    Yes.

    IMG_1518.jpg

    IMG_1519.jpg

    IMG_1520.jpg

    Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ?

    I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version. 

    • Like 2
  9. On 9/16/2022 at 7:36 AM, Faroe Islander said:

    Personally I struggle a lot with this and tend to favour eliminating them,

    Some things that I have tried that work best are blockers on my pc and using a flip phone in my day to day life. This means that most of the time I can't play even if I want to,

    But the ideal thing is to explicitly inform your friends and family about your problems with games, often times you will end up not only with less triggers in your life but also with more support and barriers to help you with games

    flip phones are really cool. I like them. They are less distracting. Don't you think we are becoming slaves of technology ? not the master anymore~ Ever heard of the song "Hotel California" from Eagles ? - "we are prisoners of our own device"

    less entertainment means more fulfilled life. That's a very hard thing to accomplish, for most average people, including me. Sometimes I think, "Oh, no freaking way ! I am going to give up my hard-earned, max -level monsters , or characters, or whatever ?!!"......In a few years, I might not be able to remember any of that, if I have a real life. That's where I belong..... looking at real faces, holding hands with a real beautiful girl, both physically and spiritually,feeling her warmth through the skin, appreciating the wonder of the universe ~~  

    • Like 2
  10. I think it does not need to be a specific narrowed-down thing. I think it does not even need to be a video games group. It can just be an addiction group, like Alcoholic Anonymous , or Sex Addict Anonymous....the messages are all the same: make a positive change, forget the old habits, learn new habits and meet with people who care. 

    I am doing this with no face-to-face, but only internet supportgroups like this forum, it's going ok. Good luck.

    you can talk to me if you want to. We can start from e-mails. Anyone is welcome, but I don't respond to negative messages. My e-mail:    gui-tong-wan@hotmail.com 

  11. On 3/9/2023 at 12:07 AM, Ray Cao said:

    You know, I had studied at an IT college in the past.

    One of my college friends, he studied in Software Engineering major.

    One of his courses is Game development.

    In game development course, there are some gaming psychology lessons.

    He said, "to make a successful game, you have to understand the psychology of player, you have to know them."

    It means that psychology, strategy to hook player is a MUST-HAVE criteria when someone designs a game.

    It's like you have to add spices to dishes you cook.

    Game is a kind of entertainment. And entertainment things are not made to be boring.

    So, if you don't want to addict to game. Or you have to quit it, like Respawn tell us, or you have to be so self-discipline, you have to got something to stop you whenever you get over the red line.

    That's it!!!

     

    Yes. Totally agreed.

    I think games are one and the same as any other addictions, from heroin to hamburgers, promiscuity, credit card over spending, procrastination....

    The idea is the same:    using easy rewards or repeating old habits  to   avoid tough but positive changes        

    • Like 1
  12. On 10/14/2018 at 11:39 AM, seriousjay said:

    Hello, I can sympathize with you as I have similar regrets. The best advice I can give is to ride it out. Regret, like all emotions, passes with time. In the meantime, engage in activities that you can be proud of to replace gaming.

    One other thing you can do to try to trick yourself if you really need a way through it is to tell yourself that maybe one day, when you can play games again without feeling like they're pulling you in uncontrollably, you'll go through those games. That day will come and you will probably tell yourself that you don't even care anymore at that time. Telling yourself that you'll play those games one day may help to relieve the feelings of regret.

    Agreed. Be the master, be the controller, not the one being controlled. 

    Regret is a lack of game substitute and fear of replacing. It is the unknown. 

  13. 11 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

    Sorry for the delay. I haven't had much time to write recently.

    Things are good. Currently going through this process now about cravings just because I'm dealing with new emotions and situations socially and at work. So I'm a little exhausted from all the introspection but I'm feeling better overall and trying to prioritize naps, yoga, and hygiene to calm my mind a bit. 

    I think you replied pretty fast. I started to make a habit of checking this forum as a priority in the morning. I have not find a face to face support group yet. 

    Work and social situations are pretty tough, right ?  I am getting used to my new job now and facing lots of changes. So good luck to both of us ~

     

  14. On 5/16/2023 at 2:06 PM, DanielG said:

    I already wrote a lot for the introductory post, so I might keep this a bit shorter. I had a reflective walk after meeting with Cam tonight, and I think I'm addicted to video games. All the signs point to it, I'm just reluctant to let it go, I guess. I'm hopeful that things will turn out.

    Gratitude:

    I am grateful for my mom, who continues to be supportive and patient.

    I am grateful for computers, that let me spill my brain vomit into some sort of cohesive thing that helps me express and formulate my thoughts.

    I am grateful for delicious food.

    Hi, friend. 

    I am grateful for tasty food, too. And of course, I am grateful for my Mother, as well ^_^

    What's "spill my brain vomit ..." ? You do some creative stuff on your computer ?    

    • Like 1
  15. On 7/4/2023 at 11:24 PM, BooksandTrees said:

    It's very overwhelming for the first few weeks because you're trying to logically analyze and diagnose why you're being illogical and emotionally off. So it's very difficult and exhausting. I had to take a lot of naps during this phase of my recovery to be honest. 

    Oh, I had the same thing. I was so tried from the effort when starting the new habit of deep thinking. Thinking carefully before doing anything I might regret later. things like playing again. 

    I still keep trying everyday. I try to take naps when I can, too. And relaxing breaks.

    So how is it going for you ? 

    • Like 1
  16. On 5/15/2023 at 8:58 AM, Sarxas said:

    @Wildermyth I do the same thing and often have ambient music playing in the background while doing activities. Usually particular video game soundtracks. It's a cool feeling. 

     

    I also enjoy powerful metal

     

     

     

     

     Video game music is a very good idea. I listen to them, too. Those Japanese music are so stylish; Final Fantasy, Gran Turismo, Persona are the ones among my favorite musics.

  17. What you (BooksandTreesmean is  - when there is craving, pause, do some analysis, figure out which thing (1 or several from the HALTE) caused it, then, act to change it. Am I understanding this right ? 

    I think that works. Only for people who can change. 

    I like what Stephen R. Covey siad - 'you have the freedom to choose, in any situation' and ' our old habit powerfully influence us, but, we are not determined by it'.  we are grown ups. We do not need games with pretty pics to depend on. We can do much better than that !   We all have will power potential ! It's another type of muscle ! That's what Kelly Mcgonial said. She wrote <the willpower instinct> . I like her. 

     

    • Like 2
  18. Hi, IlikeCookiesI have the same thing going on. Like you, I feel bad about myself, then I keep on playing too much.

    I think that is very common, not just for gamers, also anyone who is having trouble on discipline; it could be drugs, junk food, sex, money …

    sometimes after playing games for a while, I feel that ' it's already like this, so it's ok, go wild, just for the night, though. Just for tonight.' And the next day, I get up around 2pm, all my other plans are disrupted. I blame myself - guilt, hate, punishment, isolation, worthlessness ... I inflict a second round of damage on myself, after the damadg of gaming. How destructive that is. 

    You asked what to do. I think that I do not have an answer to that.  I think that is part of the process. I do not know where you are at. My guess is that you somehow want to quit, and are looking for advice. Or you are just in the process of thinking whether you should quit or not. I think only one self can know what he/she want. But good luck. 

    I read lots of books about this. '7 habits for highly effective people' , 'feel the fear and do it anyway' , 'the road less traveled' , I think these books can open your mind and find out more about your strategies. What I take from it is - gaming is a habit poeple developed when very young. they kept doing it because of fear. Fear of change. People either chose to avoid or not allowed to do other more meaningful things. It is a choice, by the self. I am struggling still, I think it is the same for the ones already quit, like Cam. He struggles to maintain the discipline. 

    I hope you can get better. Please don't hate yourself. That is for myself, too. It's a hard, hard responsibility. 

    • Like 1
  19. 2021, Sep 27

    events:

          After an over-playing for 2 days, now it's the 4th day. I am back to discipline mode and normal sleeping schedule and activities. The process is hard, there are a lot things to remeber; I       can be certain that I do not want to relapse, again. I am not as hopeless as before. That is good stuff to look forward to , and I recover fatser now. I think I just need to start believeing         that I can do this; IT IS POSSIBLE; and I will , and I AM ABLE to control my addictions, and get other things I want

    I am gratiful for:

         - Les Brown. He gave me the things I can say to myself every morning to start my day with a holy shiled that can carry me through tough times

         - my work out equipments. They help me release tension when I am uneasy, when I forgot to breath 

         - My caring and naging parents. As always.  I love you sometimes, I hate you sometimes, but the love is what counts, it is unconditional. Ha ha.

  20. You mentioned seeking approval from parents. I find that resonating wiht me since my situation is very similar. I think: my parent did not have dreams, so they rely on my success fot them to gain self satisfaction, because that's the only way they know to get validation for their purpose. They are not aware that happiness need to be somthing they can keep doing by themselves. I accept them for that, and it is like they are my children sometimes; my hapiness will make them happy, which is the best gift parents can give to thier children. Which means: I now have one more reason to controll my addictions.

    A psychologist named Gabor (on youtube) said childhood has a significant link to addiction. I believe it's ture, which leads to acceptance and forgivness for parents and more focus on self-improvement. 

    Like you, I am also working on my "dream list". I list my dreams, the things I need to do and avoid, and I look at them, meditate, and say them out loud, first thing in the morning.

    It's good to have dogs and cats around. They probably will make you less lonely when having urges for games ? But I imagine we all have moments of being alone. I think that's where the trails begin.

    Hang in there, comrade.  

    • Like 1
  21. Good day Gundham. Happy birthday, first of all. 

    I think it's wonderful you shared this jounal with a close family. How does that feel ?  How did that family member react after seeing the jounal ? How long does it take for that family member to start to accept you on this issue ? 

    • Like 1
  22. 2021, September 23

    Summary: 

           3 hrs of games spread out through day time, then from 10 PM - 7 AM straight playing. total: 12 hours within a 24 hour span, for 1 day.

    Facts:

           - Having a lot of free time  - Not having a 9-5 job   - I was seeking reawrd after some hard work  - I was bored   - I was not willing to do other activities during that time  

           - after playing: fingers, back, neck, body, eyes, butt aches   - went to sleep at 7 AM, and woke up at 12 PM     - state of mind after over-playing: "It hasppened again. Well, it can't

              be helped. I do like games and the body-aches are real. I did not cause harm to others, for now. I derserve hapiness. I can start to make things better right alway. I do not need

              guilt or shame; they are the killers for positive attitude and focus. What happened, are the past now, can not change it, let me start a better day with pround, hope and love, and

              write these things down to make sense of what I did, and give me some wisdom for the next trail ahead." 

     

    My awareness:

           - this time, there is less shame and beating-myself-up-for-nothing. This seems quite powerful. In the past, whenever I over-played, I think I went into a temporary

              "F*ck, I am worthless..." attitude. That is killer for hapiness, man ! Why do I have that ?? It does not make sense. I am going to do positive self affirmation every day

               now, I'm telling you. I need to turn this nasty self-discrimation attitude around, killl those nasty venom bugs; all hail Ophra Winfrey !  I am WORTHY !!      

     

    Future Stratagies:

            More real-people conection will come to me, or I will go find them. I can sense it happening. Playing eill still be there. The first step is releasing the shame, is standing

            up. Keep up self affirmations, controll play time whenever possible, but do not force it. 

     

    I am grateful for:

            - a high performance PC laptop so hat I can play on-line games soomthly

            - my parents keeping me informed on my future traveling plans; keeping me accountable for everything; even the naggings

            - Cam, Videogame Quiters, Intenta; they give me strength and a better way to express my fellings 

            - the existence of the internet !!  I am healing and becoming a better human being because I find so much valueable knowledge on the internet !  

     

                  

×
×
  • Create New...