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ex_bfplayer

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  1. Week 9 Projects: None Miscellaneous accomplishments: I read 11 books since january, most of them in English language. Summary of Week 9 Time passed so fast, I didn't even bother to post every week, as not-gaming has been becoming more as part of my life, than it has been a renunciation. Neverthenless it is still a struggle to keep myself out of gaming, there are cravings and each time I am spending some effort to fight it back. But still it is a great time, I see so many benefits of that whole venture of not playing anymore :). I had much more time to do other things(like reading).
  2. Week 6 Projects: None Miscellaneous accomplishments: I don't drink alcohol for almost 10 months. Summary of Week 6 I am focusing right now on technical knowledge at my new role. Some things to learn are really challenging, but I manage to cope. I had a conversation with my friend about gaming, he didn’t realized that I could have had any addiction problems, so he was a bit surprised when I had told him that have some. I felt relieved that someone from my environment knows, and to be honest I felt anxious and uncertain of what people’s reaction would be. Now I know that I can openly and freely tell anyone that it is an issue for me and causing me difficulties in many areas of my life, and with gaming I can’t lead normal life. On the other hand, it is sad that I can’t play like normal guy. I am conniving myself, - and I actually truly believe in that, that at some level we all are fucked up in terms of having issue with ourselves. That’s what I believe in, and this thought is actually good, because it seems that I am actually normal Take care all of you and don’t give up, no matter how many relapses are ahead of you.
  3. Week 5 Projects: Miscellaneous accomplishments: Advanced English - Finished Starting new job Summary of Week 5 I didn't write as I was busy most of the time. I tried to manage my cravings. I did, as still not playing. I am now focused on new job, learning new things. I am happy that will make lot more money, considering the fact that situation in Poland isn't any better, we have increasing inflation, so it cause the prices being larger and larger. But beside that everything is ok. There are moments when I am thoroughly forgetting that have problems with gaming.
  4. Day 23 Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepare in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(84 out of 100 units done) Miscellaneous accomplishments: Summary of Day 23 Another few days left. It was good time in which I have been thinking a lot about my addiction. It seems that I can win this fight, only if I would be focused all the time on the goal. And the goal is to not playing any game, win the craving. I am winning this fight so far.
  5. Day 18 Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepare in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(76 out of 100 units done) Miscellaneous accomplishments: Summary of Day 18 I did. I have deleted all games, unsubscribed all game-related emails. Also The environment is also, easy to adapt/change as I don’t have many friends who are playing gamesI am working on new habits either. I am exercising my will power as well, as I think This is my weak spot. Anyhow, I do my best to keep myself out of gaming. Trying to keep my mind off it. Energizing pulse is fact, that I am really efficient in my plans, goals, and endeavours and ventures associated with with goals. I can feel the ppower - I can tell that, So this is huge motivator.
  6. Day 11 Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepare in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(65 out of 100 units done) Miscellaneous accomplishments: I didn't think of much aobut playing. Summary of Day 11 @NesteaDrinker Thank you for your good word.That's encouraging - the fact that someone understand as had had similar experience in relapsing into different games. I think I am subconsciously crave for other entertainment in form of gaming, because I was playing games very intensively for 10 years – and it became into some kind of habit. I am trying to distract myself by doing other activities, like reading more, studying, but subconsciously I am all the time seeking for something to entertain myself – and I know that it happen by habit. So I realize that it is good news because every habit can be overwritten by new one, but it takes time and a lot of effort. On the other hand I feel anxious and troubled with the fact that in some near future I will relapse again, because I really want to break it finally, breaking the habit of necessity of resort to gaming
  7. Week 0. day 4 Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepare in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(60 out of 100 units done) Miscellaneous accomplishments: I managed cravings in recent days Summary of Week 0, day 4 I can see now how in fact difficult is to manage all the craving. Since my early youthness I was playing some game. Back then I didn't realize that I am addicted to gaming, In fact I would laugh If someone would accused me of such thing. But now I can see how addiction to gaming can be destructive to your life, how unaccomplished and unfulfilled you may feel. The more years I was spending on gaming, the more difficult it would be to get rid of that addiction. In fact I have emerged (subconsciously) some patterns and habits in my brain, that triggered my addiction to be more and more powerful. I am reading a book: “ The Power of habit”, I am on the beginning, but I realized that I need to do something else to replace my addiction and all the habits associated with it. For now I can’t figure it out, as I'm not sure if a proper reward could be sufficient for my brain 😉
  8. Hi @Gundham How are you doing? How was your detox? You’ve mentioned that will be on detox till February. Please let me know. I know that you don't probably don't read now my diary, but I failed last time with bf3. I started playing again in November and had been playing till last week - as I started to quitting again. It is hard staff to manage, I mean craving is so powerful. Take care man, and let me know. cheers
  9. Week 0. day 1 Hello everybody. It's been a while, hasn't it? It good to be back on the forum. I haven't posted for a while, as to be honest I was too ashamed to do so. Since November started, I had been back to play BF3 again. I relapsed 😞 I played ever since then till just yesterday. So it was almost 4 months. It was a time in which I had been convincing myself that playing is not that bad, as I am still performing and doing good at my work. Moreover I had actually founded a new job. I am on 1 month notice at my current company. Nevertheless during that time, I had that feeling that it is not a life I want to have. I am not fully satisfied with my life. Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepare in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(58 out of 100 units done Miscellaneous accomplishments: I have managed to find a new job. I am constantly learning English grammar. I feel I have a power to start quitting gaming once again. Summary of Week 0, day 1 As I am trying to not give that easy, I think that I have enough power to start quitting gaming one more time. To be honest I have found a replacement for BF3 – before relapse from November. I am fun of F1 racing, I started to play F1 2020 Codemastrs. And I played it almost every day for 2m for 3-6 hours daily. I feel that I need to play something, but Is it not another game to be addicted from? Can someone please advise if person like me is doomed forever ? Just because I am not able to set a proper balance between life and gaming? I need to understand my nature. I want the current venture to be something more than just quitting BF3 – I want to quit gaming completely, because my problem is not just BF – it is in general playing any game.
  10. The problem with battling the obstacles is that, once you figure it out in theory, it is hard to transmit it to practise, or at least is very hard to start. And I know you probably know that ;), however I believe that when you are setting some goals, or taking some endeavours, there will always be showing a new ones. It is part of every venture. So to sum up, As far as I can see, you are in point of your life when the future seems to be unclear. So there is bright future for you I bet. In fact I think it already started, It stared in moment when you had decided to quit gaming. You have started already. Now you have to fill the details of what to do next, so your life can become worth living, something that makes you alacrity to wake up every morning and so on.. Take care body, don't give up with your dreams.
  11. Week 7 Physical task: Continue attending gym Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepar in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(27 out of 100 units done) Starting master's degree next year. Abandoned that. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Summary of Week 7 Not more to talk about the previoes week of not playing. I fighted back the minor craving in last week, so the present was much easier. I have been focusing on English Grammar for all te week. I did some reading too. I can recommedn the Fire and Blood, R.R.Martin ;). SO in general all good news @Gundham Thanks for your good word. It is good to hear from time to time from someone here, on this forum.
  12. Week 6 Physical task: Continue attending gym Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepar in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(13 out of 100 units done) Starting master's degree next year. Formulating and elaborating the given questions (600): 81 of 600 Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Summary of Week 6 It was a crazy time. On the beginning of the week, I had lot of cravings( didn't realize that right away) and as a result I have installed a strategy game on my phone (I had been playing it for some time a few years ago). It's called ROK(Rise of Kingdom) and I was plunged into it completely. I didn't want to allow my reasonable thinking - which tells me that I started playing it bc of craving for BF3 - to be that important, as I have been convincing myself that it’s all good, a little time spent on playing doesn't hurts anybody that much... but It wasn't that simple. I realize again, that I am not able to play without plunging fully, without using all the possibilities that game is giving me. I just can't play because i moment when I like the game, I am completely plunged - and nothing is more important, but gaming that particular game . So I have installed it just 2 days ago, it occurred to me eventually that, this is nothing more than wasting my time again for playing. I neglected many endeavours that I had planned before even thinking that I will came up with an idea to play some games on my phone. On Friday afternoon I decided to make an back up of my files. When looking for important files to copy I came across the old capture videos of me playing BF3(2019). I watched for some time and it was really close to relapsing. I thought; why not playing?, why even bother will not-playing in first place?, what am I think, that I am wasting my time? Is it really that important for me? Bc I am that smart, hence wasting my potential?. I realize that it all bulshit. The true is that I've always felt dumber form others. And perhaps this all endeavour of quitting gaming, quitting alcohol, are just another things that somehow my ego needs so I can be convinced that I am smarter. If anyone reads that, I hope you guys are ok and have some different reasons of not-playing. Because I just realized that, if the above is true I am just petty and probably I will start playing soon, just back to square one, and It is sad. Take care. Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021
  13. Week 5 Physical task: Started Gym. Plan for muscle's inreasing created. Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepar in terms of grammar , before starting classes with natives Starting master's degree next year. Formulating and elaborating the given questions (600): 50 of 600 Miscellaneous accomplishments: - I have recently started planning my day, and it looks good. Living the day as per given schedule makes my life less complicated. Also I focus more on important endeavours. Summary of Week 5 Regarding the plannig the day. I am not saying that, my whole day is planned, like every detail. I have general main task each day, and I focus to proceed with them accordingly, in that way, I just functionate better. It was quite good week. There were some minor cravings, however it wasn't that but then before, like few weeks back. May the force be with you guys. Take care! Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021
  14. I agree with the above. The dark days has to come eventually. But you need to embrace them!. Really it is not mumble-bumble talk. You need to realize that having bad days, helps you overcome the bigger issues of yours. You've got this!. Take care.
  15. Week 4 Physical task: - Projects: To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be taking classes Getting back to learing IT Security staff Miscellaneous accomplishments: - I have passed the ITIL 4 Foundation Certificate yesterday. Summary of Week 4 I decided to post weekly as I was already posting less than once per week due to latest increased engagement with my goals. Those last few days were full of some activities. Mainly I was preparing for passing the exam. When it comes to gaming, I am getting cravings from time to time. But I am trying to keep myself busy somehow, doing something productive useful for me. Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021