NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Sashiku
-
Posts
194 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Sashiku
-
-
Hey guys. Small update. I was going to go to ren fair this weekend but I got sick again. :I Stupid spring and stupid allergies. In any case, I am getting out more. I haven't been able to keep up my journal as well since I'm always either sick or not home lately.
Something did happen recently. I downloaded Origin and downloaded one of my games, but to my anger and happiness, it won't work on my computer anymore. It crashed my graphics drivers every time I booted the game up. Upgrading to windows 10 seems to have made my computer very sluggish. Anyhow, so I didn't end up playing any games. I was really upset the day i tried to play and didn't know what to do to feel better but in the end I didn't get to play anyway. The only thing game related i've been doing is playing my 3DS at night for about 5 minutes while laying in bed. As I said before, it's not my problem but I wanted to not play it much till I beat the 90 days. I don't play the 3DS every night, just mostly nights I am too sick to sleep well, which is a lot recently.
Anyway, I walked to the store yesterday and it was nice, even though I've been suffering for it since.
I am honestly doing my best to change things around for myself. My house is cleaner than its been in a year even. I just hope i get 100% better *I haven't been 100% since that sinus infection* and am able to quickly find a place, sell the house and move. I hate the city. :I Going to move to a large town. From 400,000 people to around 9,000.If that ends up falling through I'll probably find an apartment here, though I really am sick of Oklahoma, I finally have friends! For the first time since my Best friend moved away 5 years ago. And I met them not long before I found one of Cam's videos on youtube and started my new life.
Anyway, sorry I'm also so mushy when i post. I just don't think you guys get how thankful I am. I want to help people so when i can I'm going to pay it forward. Because I'm grateful to all of the people who have been supportive and friendly.
-
Happy you are feeling better! Always appreciate your updates.
Thanks~ And I appreciate your comments. ^^
-
I am glad that you feel better!
In such hard times you see what people really care and are important in your life. Be thankful for all the good people around you and try to be good to them if they need help or support and show them your appreciation. This makes a big difference. In my opinion good relationships with other people is the best medicine against a bunch of mental problems and happiness issues.
Of course.
Before I head off to my friends house for my vacation, *That's a vacation for poor folk! Hahaha!* I'm going to make a cake for the lovely friend of mine who helped me with medicine and write "Thank You for Everything" on it. And maybe draw some cute things on it too. -
Hey guys. This isn't really a daily thing, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm feeling so much better now. I have also been busy and not at home much. It's been nice to be away from the comfy confines of my house. I'm going on vacation soon for a few days. Probably on the 28th. It will be a great way to take a break from all the stress I've had to deal with lately and just spend some time reflecting and relaxing.
Also... people have been treating me very good lately. A friend brought me medicine as I had no way to obtain it myself. She also brought me a neti pot which I feel saved my life at night from congestion. My brother has been cooking for me and treating me like a human being which is just weird. Then a random friend bought me a headset because mine broke and I don't have a cellphone anymore and skype is my only way to talk to people when I'm home.
I haven't spoken to many of my gamer friends since day 3 or 4. Only a couple support me and hve been talking to me now and then to show support. I'm starting to feel better now. I just need to start taking my thyroid medicine again and I will feel a ton better. thank so much you guys. You've been a stabile and comforting guidance in my life and I really can't thank you enough. I know I still have hard times to get through, but I'll be fine. <3
-
Day 18First off, I'm SO sorry for not being very active. It's been a difficult month in many ways.Sigh, I'm not doing so well but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Being sick threw me off so badly, I feel it will be another few days before I am motivated enough to do anything. My dreams are getting worse too. Right now I am lacking focus. I just wander around my house now wondering what I should do and pretty much end up doing nothing. Before I got sick I was motivated and had spare energy to boot. When I was starting to feel better, it's almost like I woke up from a really long nap and now I'm kind of just "Meh". Not taking my thyroid medicine for 10 days definitely isn't helping my "meh" mood, leaving me sleeping 13 hours a night and just generally feeling foggy headed. I wish I hadn't gotten sick so soon after I decided to quit. It really messed things up. I had all these plans for the next day. I was going to do so many things like yoga and exercising and walking the roads... The day after that is when i woke with a fever. Sometimes life really pisses me off.I'm so out of it that not even drawing sounds like fun. I really hope this state of mind goes away quickly. I am gonna go walk in a few minutes anyhow. Maybe the fresh air will help me clear my head.
-
Love the pictures of the hippie girl and the space crocodile! Did you do them in a day? I really like the style of your art.
Thank you~! I intend on uploading everyday again once I get well.
maybe I will draw today, Dunno yet. Best I've felt in a week. -
Hi Sashiku. I've really enjoyed following your story and journal so far. It sounds like you're on a low at the moment - I just want you to know that whatever happens, and whatever you choose to do, we will all support you on your journey!!! I just know that you're going to have an incredible journey!
I also love creating stuff!!!! I so enjoyed checking out your art in your "Sashi's Art" thread. I really like your style, and hopefully you'll have more time to do it without games!
By the way, I also use Habitica and don't see a problem with it, because it's not addictive to me and actually helps me be more productive.
Thanks so much for taking time to read! I try to follow a few journals as well but lately I haven't been able to sit here and read much. I hope once I am well that I can get back to how things were. I must say I have lost some confidence and motivation though but I am sure I'll regain it once I have recovered. I also want to get back to drawing daily. I really liked doing that.And yea, Habitica is really good for me too. I was doing so well before I got sick. I am about 30 coins from getting a sonic blast.
-
Day 15?
I have no idea what day I am on now as It's been about a week and a half of being sick now. I am FINALLY starting to feel a bit better and actually slept properly without coughing last night. I feel more rested so I should be able to start doing things again soon.
I played my 3DS.. for about 2 minutes yesterday before I was bored. Being so sick and unable to do anything really threw me off and put me in a bad place but for the most part, I didn't give in. I don't really consider my 3DS to be one of my issues as I barely play it but I still want to get over gaming in general before I use it much.
-
My brother left the car in the middle of nowhere with the keys locked inside. Because of this, I can't get the antibiotics I need. And because of that, I'm not getting any better. I am so so so miserable. I'm about to give in till I'm better just to have something I can do while sitting still. I'm so tired of laying around but unfortunately, I can't seem to do much else since I am barely sleeping still. I wake up every evening after coughing and struggling to sleep all night and end up sleeping all day. My eyes are always glued shut from the constant watering. The constant coughing isn't helping and the sore throat is only making it worse. I honestly don't know what to do. My friend Jamie brought me the medicine because of the lack of having a car and while that helped some, antibiotics are required to get better. My mom got better with them. I'm going into week 2 of being sick now. I don't know how much more boredom and sickness I can take before I break.
-
Hope you feel better!
Thank you.
-
~~~Day 10-11~~~
My sickness seems to have gotten a lot worse and I'm heading to the doctor soon for some antibiotics for this sinus infection. Losing a lot of sleep but still no gaming. I'm not eating well either. The inability to do anything physical has made it difficult to not think about gaming but I haven't thrown in the towel yet. The urges are pretty strong though and having to lay around being bored out of my skull is just fueling the fire. Sometimes they are so strong I think I'm going to lose, but then I immediately snap back to reality and go talk to my family. Its been hard to sleep due to constant coughing and difficulty breathing so I've spent many nights on the internet watching random documentaries and cat videos till the symptoms calm down enough to sleep. I just wish the infection would go away already. It has put a complete stop to everything I had planned. If I had been well, my entire house would be clean by now and I'd be doing yoga routines by now as well. I would read but my eyes are so red and swollen and water so much that I don't think I could.
I suppose I'm just quite frustrated.
-
Thank you guys! I really appreciate all of your support! I really do appreciate all of your comments and thoughts on my situation and goals. You've all really inspired me so much!
-
~~~ WARNING, THERE COULD BE TRIGGERS IN THIS POST. READERS BEWARE. ~~~
~~~Day 9~~~
I don't know how to make spoiler text. :I
Nothing new to report, still too sick to do much of anything. I've got a nasty sinus infection.
I had another dream last night. Here is a quick storyboard of what happened.
*Watching a Markiplier gaming video*
That looks like SO much fun!
Why am I quitting?
Quitting seems so stupid when I could be having fun with my friends again.
I never got to play Michonne yet. Oh! And everyone will be so let down if I don't play undertale like I promised I would.
Maybe I should quit quitting.
Nobody will know. I can go back to gaming right now and everything will be back how it was before I made the stupid decision to quit.
Then I woke up. UGH. I literally HATE these dreams. They make everything so much harder because I really DID want to play those games and do miss my friends BUT they haven't won yet. That is because I know gaming put me on a self destructive path and I can't let that continue. Plus I've already made new friends here and my family is really proud of me for even trying.
Anyway, that's really all I have. I hope the dreams stop soon.
Going to try Cam's suggestion of keeping a gratitude journal.
-
I just came to a realization. I didn't post it here because I want this to be daily stuff mostly.
-
Hey guys. I just remembered the dream I had last night. I dreamt I played a game with my two best friends. I don't remember what game though. They were the ones I played with most and I have been friends with one of them 15 years and the other for 6. I woke up feeling panicked thinking I had broken my promise to everyone but shortly after I realised it wasn't real and forgot about it due to not feeling well. I wonder if anyone else has dreams like this? They're driving me a bit crazy honestly. I've never had a dream like that before, even when I WAS gaming. I did have a few thoughts about wanting to play a game after that, but I shrugged them off rather quickly. God, this is really really trying at times. That dream didn't win though.
So proud of myself for not giving in. I hope these dreams don't last much longer though. They definitely present a challenge. -
I hope you recover soon.
.Sometimes I wonder if anyone else on the planet has an imagination as big as mine.
So do I
. (meanwhile Tolkien laughing)Awesome.
-
Thanks guys. I appreciate all your comments, support and suggestions.
~~~Day 8~~~
Turns out I have a sinus infection. I did have a low grade fever yesterday so I did lay in bed a bit. I'm in a little pain but not too bad and I can't walk for very long without feeling weak so all of my current time is spent watching movies or looking over my doll collection. Still no gaming. Though i have had more vivid dreams and daydreams about games I've played. I figured out another huge reason I played is because of the stories. I have always been in love with characters, and scenarios, even before I played games. I used to be an avid reader and even got awards in school for having a college reading level. I suppose I always wished books were more interactive but now that I think about it, I loved imagining the characters for myself and making things look in my mind how I wanted them to look. Games took part of my imagination away and maybe that is why I loved games where you could create things. Creation is my specialty and my absolute favorite thing to do. I used to write stories for my dolls as a kid and have them act out what I had written. I even made up plays but my siblings never took them seriously, so I stopped. I have a lot of comic ideas now. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else on the planet has an imagination as big as mine.
Anyway, sorry for writing so much. The sitting around is really starting to get to me but I can't do anything about it till I am better.
Good note: We may be caught up on bills by next month! I am crossing my fingers.
Its so hard to get ahead when you've lost so much. I'm not too upset about it anymore though. Things happen. -
Everyone has those temptations. It can be hard to resist but remember your goals. It's really up to you what happens but remember, we all support you and hope to see you succeed.
-
Good work, having goals is a great way to focus on things you want to do instead of old habits. Remember to think of some activities you want to do for the weekends you mentioned. A few good activities can make a huge difference.
-
I'm so glad you decided to post here, and I'm even happier than you've come so far. Life can be really hard and we all make mistakes. All we can do is support each other and try to make our lives better. You are doing great so far and you've got all of us here to talk to when you need to. Congratulations on 57 days!
-
~~~Day 7~~~
Yesterday was spent on the couch all day.
My fever is finally gone though thank goodness. Being sick was actually a bit of a good thing though. The constant boredom made me want to do other things like taking walks, studying japanese, and reading a book I've neglected. I am so excited to get this day rolling.
-
~~~Day 5~~~
Nothing much to say today... Sick with fever and did nothing all day but sleep. Hopefully I am well tomorrow.
-
All of my art will be posted here from now on. Feel free to keep up with it if you want to.
If not, no biggie. -
Congrats on day 4! To deal with your gamer friends, this video can help.
Thanks~ Also, hoping to get respawn in June.
My Journal ~ A New Beginning
in Daily Journals
Posted
A TON of stuff. Certain soaps, certain laundry detergents, pollen, mold spore, the heat, and I'm not sure what else. All i know is that every spring I get very sick from all of the allergies. Fall I get sick too but not as bad as spring. So naturally, Summer and winter are my favorite seasons.