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Everything posted by Sashiku

  1. Thank you guys! I really appreciate all of your support! I really do appreciate all of your comments and thoughts on my situation and goals. You've all really inspired me so much!
  2. ~~~ WARNING, THERE COULD BE TRIGGERS IN THIS POST. READERS BEWARE. ~~~ ~~~Day 9~~~ I don't know how to make spoiler text. :I Nothing new to report, still too sick to do much of anything. I've got a nasty sinus infection. I had another dream last night. Here is a quick storyboard of what happened. *Watching a Markiplier gaming video* That looks like SO much fun! Why am I quitting? Quitting seems so stupid when I could be having fun with my friends again. I never got to play Michonne yet. Oh! And everyone will be so let down if I don't play undertale like I promised I would. Maybe I should quit quitting. Nobody will know. I can go back to gaming right now and everything will be back how it was before I made the stupid decision to quit. Then I woke up. UGH. I literally HATE these dreams. They make everything so much harder because I really DID want to play those games and do miss my friends BUT they haven't won yet. That is because I know gaming put me on a self destructive path and I can't let that continue. Plus I've already made new friends here and my family is really proud of me for even trying. Anyway, that's really all I have. I hope the dreams stop soon. Going to try Cam's suggestion of keeping a gratitude journal.
  3. I just came to a realization. I didn't post it here because I want this to be daily stuff mostly.
  4. Hey guys. I just remembered the dream I had last night. I dreamt I played a game with my two best friends. I don't remember what game though. They were the ones I played with most and I have been friends with one of them 15 years and the other for 6. I woke up feeling panicked thinking I had broken my promise to everyone but shortly after I realised it wasn't real and forgot about it due to not feeling well. I wonder if anyone else has dreams like this? They're driving me a bit crazy honestly. I've never had a dream like that before, even when I WAS gaming. I did have a few thoughts about wanting to play a game after that, but I shrugged them off rather quickly. God, this is really really trying at times. That dream didn't win though. So proud of myself for not giving in. I hope these dreams don't last much longer though. They definitely present a challenge.
  5. So do I . (meanwhile Tolkien laughing) Awesome.
  6. Thanks guys. I appreciate all your comments, support and suggestions. ~~~Day 8~~~ Turns out I have a sinus infection. I did have a low grade fever yesterday so I did lay in bed a bit. I'm in a little pain but not too bad and I can't walk for very long without feeling weak so all of my current time is spent watching movies or looking over my doll collection. Still no gaming. Though i have had more vivid dreams and daydreams about games I've played. I figured out another huge reason I played is because of the stories. I have always been in love with characters, and scenarios, even before I played games. I used to be an avid reader and even got awards in school for having a college reading level. I suppose I always wished books were more interactive but now that I think about it, I loved imagining the characters for myself and making things look in my mind how I wanted them to look. Games took part of my imagination away and maybe that is why I loved games where you could create things. Creation is my specialty and my absolute favorite thing to do. I used to write stories for my dolls as a kid and have them act out what I had written. I even made up plays but my siblings never took them seriously, so I stopped. I have a lot of comic ideas now. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else on the planet has an imagination as big as mine. Anyway, sorry for writing so much. The sitting around is really starting to get to me but I can't do anything about it till I am better. Good note: We may be caught up on bills by next month! I am crossing my fingers. Its so hard to get ahead when you've lost so much. I'm not too upset about it anymore though. Things happen.
  7. Everyone has those temptations. It can be hard to resist but remember your goals. It's really up to you what happens but remember, we all support you and hope to see you succeed.
  8. My language of choice is Japanese. I have college textbooks, Japanese for dummies, and a few other books. What helped me even more than books though, was talking with a lady who taught Japanese once a week on skype. Maybe you can find something like that? I found that group via google+.
  9. Good work, having goals is a great way to focus on things you want to do instead of old habits. Remember to think of some activities you want to do for the weekends you mentioned. A few good activities can make a huge difference.
  10. I'm so glad you decided to post here, and I'm even happier than you've come so far. Life can be really hard and we all make mistakes. All we can do is support each other and try to make our lives better. You are doing great so far and you've got all of us here to talk to when you need to. Congratulations on 57 days!
  11. ~~~Day 7~~~ Yesterday was spent on the couch all day. My fever is finally gone though thank goodness. Being sick was actually a bit of a good thing though. The constant boredom made me want to do other things like taking walks, studying japanese, and reading a book I've neglected. I am so excited to get this day rolling.
  12. ~~~Day 5~~~ Nothing much to say today... Sick with fever and did nothing all day but sleep. Hopefully I am well tomorrow.
  13. All of my art will be posted here from now on. Feel free to keep up with it if you want to. If not, no biggie. https://www.facebook.com/The-Cute-Fix-198975723501737/
  14. Thanks~ Also, hoping to get respawn in June.
  15. ~~~Day 4~~~ I had trouble getting to sleep last night so i didn't wake up till around 3pm. i went to bed at 8pm from a headache and slept till 12am then struggled to sleep till about 7am. I dozed in and out a few times but never really fell into a deep sleep. I was going to hula hoop yesterday but the hula hoop I have is way too small. It's not heavy enough to stay on my waist. The other one I have is perfectly weighted to stay on my waist but it has these ridges inside the ring that hurt terribly when they hit my waist or ribs. I will have to get another at some point. Today has been okay. I walked as soon as I woke up and used a pedometer too. It said I walked 860 steps but I think it's wrong as I only walked to the end of the street twice and back. My 3DS has a pedometer built in so maybe i will use that instead. I did get on my 3DS yesterday but only drew on the *swapnote* app. No gaming at all still. I have to say it is harder than I thought it would be to quit. Going to go fold my laundry and try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight, hopefully my body plays along. I didn't get a lot done today since I was sleeping but tomorrow I intend to finish laundry and clean out my birds cage. No need to reply if you don't want to. Posting here just helps me keep track of what I've done so far.
  16. UGH. People keep asking me to play a game with them so I finally put in my skype description that not asking about games would be appreciated. This created a lot of people asking me why and telling me I don't have to quit and that I can just limit it. They don't get it at all. I have had to explain this like 10 times already. I think I am going to write up a paragraph and copy/paste it every time. I only turn on my skype at night because I get a little lonely. Before now I talked on skype every single day all day. Now that I have nothing to talk about with anyone it's hard. My best friends aren't even fully accepting. I am thinking of not logging in but I don't know what I will do for social things then... I can't get out much due to being unable to drive so irl friends aren't going to happen I'm afraid. This is another reason It's been so hard to quit. I'm also a bit of an oddball so even when I'm out, I rarely click with anyone.
  17. I uh... I seem to do better when I freehand. ^^; Thank you very much!
  18. Great tips. I did cook dinner twice now. Hoping to do even more. I don't have the resources to buy instruments but that could be something I could do down the line. And no worries! I have an origami book. I am gonna go jump on the trampoline now. I am also going to buy a hula hoop as I have a lot of fun doing that.
  19. Congrats! This is a new beginning for you and I am so glad you made it. I am excited to get there too.
  20. Thanks for suggesting the daily sketch page on reddit. I think it's a great idea to spend 10-30 minutes a day on art.
  21. ~~~Day 3~~~ Today is a bit hard. Not only am I a bit stressed out from not being able to lose myself in a game but I'm also bored. I have yet to completely clean my house but I am currently doing all my piled up laundry as I type this. I just can't think of anything to do right now. There is nowhere currently to do yoga as my floor is still somewhat cluttered and I don't feel like reading. I may pick up my house some more but doing chores has always been hard. Even harder when there is nothing fun to do during breaks. Being half blind means I am unable to leave the house most of the time so all those *away from home* activities are pretty impossible right now. I love drawing but I don't want to draw too much because I feel I need to do most of my activities away from the computer for the best result. Yet, I sit here in my boredom, trying to get a grip on it. Wait.. I have a few ideas! Maybe.. Origami? I still have tons of origami paper from Japanese class. How about having tea and sitting outside? going for a walk? Don't we have sidewalk chalk? Oh, is that a hula hoop over there? So, to sum it all up; I can find activities but I never seem to find enough to fill up the entire day. If you guys know of some indoor activities anyone can do, toss them at me~
  22. Okay, I found my yoga book, there should be some of those in there. Thanks for the comment.
  23. Good analogy~ I actually loved the characters from TF2. I made a lot of SFM renders of them. I believe RPG games were the most addicting, but I think I could get addicted to any game. Just being here with a game in front of me was my problem I believe. I am doing fine so far, no slip ups, but its only day 3.
  24. Yep. My latest one was Stardew Valley. So I completely understand that one. Doing fine without it though.
  25. Drew this earlier this evening. It was nice to just sit down and draw for a bit.
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