NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming
Theresa
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Posts posted by Theresa
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That’s awesome you can meditate that long. I know 7 minutes helps me. 55 minutes must do wonders for you. Hang tight with your job. I’m sure it is so life changing for your clients.
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All the best with your physical recovery. That must be so difficult. I’m glad you are able to do some yoga though.
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Day 13
I don’t count this as a relapse because my motives were for socialization rather than to escape or checkout, and I did not feel as if I was giving into a craving. One of my friends wanted to hangout to show his new flight simulator and laptop he had just purchased. We played for like 1 1/2 hours and it was easy to walk away from it. I thought it was actually a pretty convivial experience. I wonder where to draw the line. Give up all gaming or only the ones that are personally addictive?
I’ve been meditating for 7 minutes in the morning and it has been really calming. I will start the 5 min ice showers as well for discipline, hella not excited 🙂 Hope you’re all well and rooting for you!-
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Day 13
I realize that after a stressful workday I would game for hours to checkout of reality. I’ve found running and going outside to be tremendously helpful after these types of days.
I keep regretting all the time and money I spent this past year on gaming and I’m disappointed that I couldn’t control my gaming habits and perhaps never will. It feels so slavish that something so synthetic and constructed as gaming was so influential and that I couldn’t find moderation, but I don’t think it would be unhealthy or unnatural to cut out gaming entirely. If that’s the solution I am okay with that. It’s not a necessary thing like eating, drinking, and sleeping.
I’m so grateful for this forum and for all the others here who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable and have thus provided a lot of insight and inspiration through their stories. Rooting for you all!-
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1 hour ago, Zeno said:
Take It or Leave It
There's a sociologist of technology, Wieber Bijker, who has written about what he calls the technological frame. Basically, we come to understand certain technological artifacts in a certain way, and those artifacts are connected to other meaningful systems and relationships such that, if you start using the artifact, you enter into a world entirely shaped by that artifact.
Bijker writes, for example, that those who buy a car "become included in a semiotic structure of automobiling: cars-roads-rules-traffic-jams-gas prices-taxes" to the point that they may not be able to imagine the world any other way. For those who do not choose to buy a car, "jams and oil prices simply do not matter."
The automobile itself is a "boundary object" that presents a take-it-or-leave-it choice: “They cannot modify the artifact if they ‘take’ it, but life can go on quite well if they ‘leave it.’”
I bring this up because it has helped me to make sense of the weird kind of duality I described a week ago, when I felt like I was flashing between the world as it was after I took up gaming, and the world as it may become now that I've left. Games are, in my experience at least, a kind of boundary object, and I was slipping back and forth across the boundary from the real world to gamer-world and back, from a world in which gaming as much as I had been seems weird and self-destructive to a frame in which gaming all weekend seems perfectly normal.
To say that I sometimes have the "urge" to play a game is not a very helpful way to think about it. It's not an emotion, not a raw impulse about which I can do nothing. If what is happening is that I'm not yet well established in the real-world frame, such that I slip occasionally in to gamer-world frame, then there is something I can do: engage with a person or an activity in the real world, pursue a project that more firmly establishes me outside the frame.
The 'frame' idea also clarifies for me why I likely should never try to take up gaming again.
It's all or nothing, take it or leave it.
That is such a cool point about “boundary objects” and gaming. Literally when you participate in a certain fictional realm you are so restricted because you have to play by those linear rules determined by that artifact; while engaging with real people and living in and sensing the actual world you have the freedom to make your own choices in reality. And yes that we ALWAYS can make a choice! Thank you for sharing and all the best with everything.
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Hey, stay strong! It’s never too late to recover. All the best with your upcoming school year!
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Day 12
I drove 4 hours and afterwards I really craved gaming. I’m not sure why. I was kinda tired but not stressed... I went walking for a while instead. I haven’t stuck to my morning routine but hope to pick it up again tomorrow.
I’m really grateful places are opening up here. 8 of my coworkers and I went and got burgers and drinks today. That real social interaction definitely filled the need for socialization that I turned to in gaming. Hope you’re well. Rooting for you!-
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12 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Thanks for the good luck. That's awesome, good for you getting your PsyD. I actually live and work in Virginia too. I'm at about a full caseload of 25 clients right now. It's pretty good for now I'm hoping to just maintain. Earning those hours and all that. Gotta study for the NCMHCE eventually. I hope you do well in school, seems like you're ready to go for it. Nice morning routine and cool story about the coffee, sounds like you almost got the discount too.
25 clients. That’s awesome. Congratulations and all the best with that and your exam!
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Day 11 low cravings, no gaming
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6 hours ago, TheKingNoob said:
Day Fifteen
Pretty tired after work. Finally caught up to the studying material. Now have less than a week to review and revise, will be tight but I'll be busy. Still clean. Two weeks, huh? Not bad.
A friend invited me for some games and I told them I'm 'fasting' on games. No crazy urges, reading is doing a decent job at supplementing it.
Nice job on following through with your intentions. Peer pressure from gamer friends can be so challenging, so way to go on handling that!
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Hey, way to go day 47! Don’t overlook having accomplished reading and working out. In themselves they are good and healthy activities. Keep it up!
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Day 10
Today was great! I got up to an alarm, did 10 min of meditation, and read for 30 min. I hope to make this a daily morning routine. It definitely helps with the morning cravings. I was driving for about 4 hours and listened to podcasts recommended on this forum. The one with James about turning gaming into superpower was awesome and really inspirational.
I got rejected today lol!! For a mission I had to ask the clerk for 10% off my coffee. So I plopped some car oil, popcorn, and my $2 coffee on the counter and asked for the discount on the drink and she was like, “why?” And I said, “for fun” and she went looking through they system and we chatted for a while, but in the end she claimed she didn’t have the authorization. I guess I took away from that experience that rejection isn’t always personal. My self worth wasn’t depreciated nor was I was offended by her saying no to my request. Hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you!
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@TheNewMe2.0yes! I would like to apply for a psyD program in Virginia. I haven’t started yet and need to take the GRE....hey good luck with your getting your LPC! Are you taking clients currently?
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Day 9
Unfortunately did not follow my usual routine today, feel sorta down. Last year I know I was hella gaming on this date because of lockdown but I’m grateful this year to be able to go to prayer services. I’m not going to use discord for the duration of these 90 days and I think that’ll help with cravings. For the Challenge I need to post my vision board- visual representation of what one wants to create for his/her life. I have no photo editing skills but here’s the gist. Hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you.
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17 hours ago, James Good said:
Hey! Welcome to the forums 🙂 Great job on avoiding gaming so far!
I can relate to your issues with Discord, that was always such a difficult thing to stop using. And while I still use it to keep in touch with my D&D group, deleting it (and staying off it) was crucial for the first few months just to avoid the constant barrage of gaming-related stuff.
What helped for me was to figure out exactly what benefits I got from Discord, and how different my life really is without it. It took some time, but I realized that not only did I get no benefits from the program, if I KNEW I wanted to stop gaming and Discord was making it much more difficult and amplifying my cravings, it was actually actively harming my ability to stay away from them. I forced myself to stay off it, sent my friends a message saying I'm taking a break for a few months, and then fought like hell every day to not use it (blockers like Freedom helped a lot).
It's not easy, especially if all our friends are on the platform, but regularly reminding yourself how your life is with gaming/cravings/Discord and what you want your life to look like in the future can be hugely beneficial.
Lastly, and the most important piece of advice I can give, is to be okay with not being okay. At the end of the day you don't need to feel bad about cravings, Discord, browsing YouTube or whatever else. All that matters for the next few months is avoiding gaming, that's it. This realization helped me relieve a lot of pressure to stop being so hard on myself and labelling myself as a failure. Addictions are tough to overcome, and you just have to take it one step at a time.
You might not like the online stuff, but this forum is an amazing place to find accountability and open up about the journey. We're all more than willing to help out no matter how big or small the problem is 🙂
Keep it up!
Thank you so much for the encouragement and advice, James. This post has hit home in many ways.
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Thank you all for the great advice and support @TheNewMe2.0@Jesse@Zeno of Elea @Octsober
I’ve tried apps like headspace but I always cut out because I get impatient and annoyed lol. I’ll give it another go; and I’ll be tracking screen time and limiting it... going to go on a retreat this weekend and learn to use excel to keep busy.
Day 8
I’m pretty grateful to have a break from work and not be cooped up inside. It was fun to get dressed up and go out with my housemate for her wedding planning. The world seems to be opening up a bit which is heartening. I’m really afraid of losing steam in my goals. I lack perseverance in doing the small goals. What was nice about gaming is that there was instant gratification, instant character improvement- all instant relative to how long it takes to break a habit or improve one’s character in real life, and it’s really rewarding to see concrete results. Hope you’re all well and I’m rooting for you!
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Day 7
I did a mini running and swimming biathalon before work. Exercising has really helped my energy. I was feeling so tired and down after quitting. I’ve been spending way too much time on Facebook and Discord because I feel the urge to be on my phone. I can’t get myself to delete Discord, I keep uninstalling but feel so much anxiety when it’s gone. It’s also frustrating because on discord they keep asking me to play. I know the answer is simple. I’m nervous about this weekend which I have off work because I don’t want to relapse as there will be extra time. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!
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Totally understand you...The times that I didn’t relapse when that nostalgia came, I found it really helpful to journal what you’re feeling and then why you might be feeling that way. Besides VR being visually appealing, there may be another reason for wanting to delve into the world, and by recognizing one’s motivations it helps make the process more of a rational one rather than emotional. I also find setting a schedule especially during those times that I used to play (like after work or in the morning) really helpful. It both breaks the habit and fills the void.
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@WorkInProgressHey, thanks for the link and advice. I’m going to check out the site once I make a Reddit account. I really like your distinction between fitness and weight loss and I’ll definitely reconsider my goals.
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@Zeno of Eleathanks for the advice. Sleeping regularly is life-changing. I used to only get a couple of hours when gaming and that was pretty bad....I’m picking up exercising and reading. The former helps with fatigue a lot.
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Congratulations on the job hire and even more on pursuing something you love and enjoy not just some random bill-paying hustle! That inspires me.
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Day 6
At work I kept thinking and imagining playing Lifeafter. It was definitely something I looked forward to doing after work. It was what I worked for. I have so many regrets of the time and money I wasted on that game. I don’t know whether to delete discord but not to be stereotypical, FOMO is hella real. I got up to run before work which was so refreshing. I’m setting a new goal to lose 10 lbs not because I’m overweight but for process of doing so. It will build self-discipline, better eating habits, and be something tangible to achieve. My college decided to have graduation this May since we missed it last year because of the corovavirus and I’m so incredibly grateful to have that closure in my life. Hope you’re all well. Rooting for you!
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Day 5
Went to work like usual. Went swimming right after which was awesome. I had deleted discord to avoid anything associated with the gaming community but I really started missing chatting with some of the people so I reinstalled it. That made me really want to also download the pvp game to kick some of their asses ingame. I confess I miss being toxic and goofing off. After work with all its formality it was nice to go online and freak out...for one of the challenges Cam has us calculate our life expectancy...have 21,978 days left lol. Im gonna run or draw to fill up the time. Hope you all had a great day! Don’t forget to Drink water 🙂
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On 3/17/2021 at 11:23 AM, BooksandTrees said:
I think you're falling into the process that most people quitting addictions falls into. You start noticing what your behaviors and safe spots are, etc. The places you go to escape. The issue I'd like you to explore, if you are so inclined, is to study your behavior BEFORE you start listening to music. What is making you anxious? Why is it making you anxious? Write every step down.
This is fantastic advice.
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Ooh, I’ll have to work up to 12 minutes, 7 minutes feels long sometimes . Yah I think being on the lookout for triggers especially in the gray zones is really crucial. I don’t know how you can watch your clients play. That’s pretty messed up, in the sense that you have to deal with that. They play games in therapy?