Jason70

Hey, I am glad balancing games with real life is working so far. As WorkInProgress said, I hope it continues on. But if it ever starts feeling like games are overtaking your life again, you know where to come. Best Jason

This is a good point. It is a reminder for me that while we can use youtube or something for a resource, we won't actually see any progress unless we act and do the activity in real life. This actually helped me shift my brain. Usually I make all these excuses on why something is too hard or too much work, or i am afraid of trying something out. However, If i deal with the misunderstanding then I'll actually understand how to do it and might enjoy it. So thanks! Otherwise, it sounds like you're doing good so far. I am glad you're committed to completing the 90 days and staying clean after. Most of the time, trying to play in moderation leads to becoming addicted all over again. Has happened a lot on this forum. Best Jason

Day 45 Didn't journal last couple of days because I decided I would go see my uncle again. I chose to do this as when I was gaming, I didn't spend time with him at all, and he always made a commitment towards me, now's the time I get to repay him. I had a fun time, we drove around a lot exploring the town I missed out on as a kid (usually in car rides I was playing my DS or something) and we went on a hike. It was nice to celebrate some quality time with him, besides his birthday. I have gotten a bit lazy with work over the past couple of days (besides seeing my uncle), work as in productivity. It's time I got back on that. Looking forward to tomorrow! Best Jason @WorkInProgressThank you for the congratulations and the suggestion! For me personally, I enjoy reading physical books. I am more of a visual person when it comes to things so seeing the words in front of me, I feel is a more effective way of understanding the story. Something I did do was listen to podcasts, I dropped out of it for a tiny bit and want to get back on it. Hopefully tomorrow!

@TheresaYeah it was. Sometimes I tend to just rid things away without actually thinking how it impacts me and how it would benefit if i let go of it. Also, I feel like BooksandTrees usually has fantastic advice! Day 42 Speaking of music, I tried listening to some again. Sucked me in. Might need to do something like I did with gaming. Not saying music is a virus for me, but in order to see if I have a toxic relationship with it, I should re-evaluate my relationship with it and go over all the bands I listened to and see what they did for me, how they impacted my life. Like a pros and cons list. Hopefully this will give me a more clear mind on my relationship. Going to seriously try and limit youtube. I have been doing good, but sometimes i have been sneaking on. I know youtube has good things and amazing things on it. Maybe I need to evaluate this too. Probably will. This depends on what the results of my evaluation is but I might set up a system to watch youtube (specific video(s)) at a specific time. This might help with the issue of youtube becoming a rabbit hole. Can't let that urge for just stimulating entertainment take me over. The bright side of today though was in the first half I spent a lot of time with my brother and dad, not playing games this time! Just talking and enjoying the time, so that was nice. Going to meditate and then sleep. Something else I need to do is fix my sleep schedule. Have a good day everyone Jason

@TheNewMe2.0 @Theresa Thank you both. I am really happy I made it this far. Theresa I wish you luck on your journey and I'm glad I could be inspiring. Hopefully the habits stay. Day 41 Today felt a bit less exciting and felt a bit less open than I did yesterday for some reason. Usually around this time I'd be intrigued to listen to some music or watch youtube as its a laid back activity and is easily accessible. Despite some urges for both today, I am going to hang on. I won't give up. Today it rained for the majority of the day, but it didn't dampen my mood. I honestly don't know what I have been feeling but I was able to get everything done off my to do list (some things to finish up, like asking one of my old high school friends if they want to facetime and catch up, nerve-racking, and meditation). Overall it was a day that felt kind of slow and boring but in reality a lot of stuff happened. Also on my walk today I had a thought. Even though it can get rainy, foggy, or sunny, and even though you may walk the same route, the things you experience (like the weather) is still a once in a lifetime experience that you won't be able to ever experience again or just ever experience if you missed it. This realization expanded my mind and justified my question of "why play games?" even more. Also on my walk today, I noticed some trees I never knew were there before. Interesting day Have a good one Jason

Day 40 Another 10 days in the books. Today was an awesome day. I learned that while it is important to follow your dreams and work towards them, you should take a step back and be present with the world from time to time. That's what I did. I'm excited I wrote down some hobbies I'd like to try, these include getting back into photography and seriously giving it a try, as well as drawing and running. Running interests me because of the thought of your blood pumping and going fast sounds exciting. Tomorrow though I'd have to wear a rain coat as it's supposed to rain, but I'm excited to try them out. Another reason I'm excited is I planned out my first novel. I know I said I was going to start small, but I get thoughts for books all the time and I thought I'd at least plan it out and write it down. That was a big accomplishment today. Some other accomplishments were I got back in to exercising, after not doing it for a couple of days I was kind of out of shape. I'm planning on logging my exercise and what I did so I can see how far I came. Last things to do for today is study and learn new vocabulary words and meditate. I also want to start logging my meditation too. I think maybe logging what I do will keep me motivated to stick with it. I am happy I have been of games this long, this is the longest I have ever been without touching a single game! Best Jason

Unlike Po, I consider playing any game as a relapse. That's why for my detox I haven't touched any games. However, like Po said there is a difference between "Healthy games", there for just plain enjoyment and no addictive loops and tricks and "unhealthy games" which their sole purpose is for you to keep playing and blow off all your money on it. For me personally, I find that all games can become addictive, even the "healthy games". That's why if you plan to play in moderation you need to seriously limit your time with them. In terms of what games are considered "healthy" and "unhealthy", as mentioned a lot on this community, MMO's like WOW, or LOL, or anything like that are made to be addictive and are not good games to play at all. However, if you're looking for nice games either to play with friends or not, non-competitive co-op games are a good option, and there is always those laid-back single player games. I hope this helps, and I wish you luck on your detox Jason

Sorry about the knee, hopefully you're able to get around to exercise again soon. I'm glad though the visualization yoga/exercise has been working for you, that seems like a hard thing to do, I probably wouldn't be able to do it. On the topic of masturbation, nice job on finding one of your triggers (laying in bed), that plan sounds like it will help. You should think of other things that trigger you towards masturbation and sexual thoughts and how to combat them. Best Jason

Congratulations on the one week! It's good to hear you've been doing well! Best Jason

When I first began my journey I felt a bit tired. I think it was because of how much I played before, I wasn't used to all this time I had and I got exhausted because of it. Also I would get extremely tired because of after-effects from gaming. When we game we get really tired and lose energy quickly, that was another impact. However, as you get further in your journey, you don't feel tired you feel refreshed and full of energy. Wishing you the best Jason

Day 39 Day's not over yet, came on to say though that besides writing, I want to find some other things I enjoy. Ever since breaking off consumption, I need to find some other things I am passionate about. Writing alone won't fill up all the time. Might look at a list of hobbies again and then try some today. Goal for today is to finish the rough draft of an article I am writing, and to plan out some other things I can do that I enjoy. Have a nice day!

Day 38 Had some real urges today, however i powered through. I feel happy because I started studying words again for writing. Need to make sure I keep studying so I don't forget them! Going to work out and then get back to meditation, I fell off a bit. Glad to have another day free from gaming! Best Jason

Day 37 Today I woke up happy for the first time in -- who knows? However, my lazy ass just decided to stay in bed for no reason, so that kind of left me in the morning. The inspiration, not the happiness. Yeah I had inspiration too, might be because I closed my spotify account last night, deleted both my youtube channels, and deleted my social media besides Facebook which I barely even use anyways. I feel like my body and my mind has accepted having an average day. I don't like that concept. What even is the concept though? What does an "average" day look like? I know we tend to think of the typical 9-5 office job with an average annual salary, getting coffee in the morning, then doing whatever they do when they get back. This typical thought has been in part labeled with the "American Dream". In actuality though, a day being average can have different meanings, different meanings for everyone. Just on the surface I feel like it means to me not working towards my dreams, which I haven't been doing. For some reason I have a weird fear of working towards my dreams. Not sure if this was something that came from gaming, and I tried looking into it before but the only thing I can come up with is just the thought of all the work I have to put in. Also the fact that my dream will most likely come with fame after, or well some fame, not worldly famous. The thought of many people knowing my name isn't the scary part, I mean I have dreams everyday where I think of myself at a convention signing a new book and so many people smiling and excited to be there. So it's not fame itself but I think it's the expectations that come with fame and the other things that can happen when you're famous. Like I could be involved in an incident where I could be killed. Always expected to seem like I have a perfect life and get this book at this date and at this time, to have these beliefs, to do this and that. So maybe having books published isn't for me and I can write in different ways, but having a book published is one of my goals so, I am just not sure. If I want to have anything published I need to overcome the fear and get working on it. To start instead of working on my first novel now, I could start small, improve my vocabulary and grammar, and start a blog. With this journal I can even show off my writing skills. Anyway, one accomplishment today was cleaning my room. I also listened to two podcast episodes. Going to finish up some college work, exercise then head to bed Hope you all had a great day. Jason

Wishing you the best for the exam. Something commonly said in psychology, is if you believe you'll fail you'll most likely fail. Not sure how true this is, most likely isn't because I have seen some real confident people believe that they'll make their dream and yet they fail the first couple of times. However, that saying relates to the point I am going to make. Worrying or stressing over any exam, no matter how big it is doesn't benefit you in the long run. I feel that your stress and your emotional trauma from failing last time is aiding your feeling of unpreparedness. Comparing yourself to other people who are doing more than you can also cause this. I'd say remind yourself that you are going at a good pace, that you have made good progress (as you did in this journal), I think doing this will help ease some of that stress. This makes me think there is something deeper to playing with my hair than just anxiety, going to explore more. Thanks for this! Wishing you the best Jason

Yeah weather can impact so much! It's honestly interesting when we think about it. Something I do when it rains is read and research a lot, I just find it interesting and a good way to improve your mood. Learning a different perspective or just reading a good story personally makes me start to think deeper and has me focus on that rather than the melancholy rain. The ways you found are good places to start. Water is important for our bodies but makes us feel more productive but somehow gives us a boost in energy? Yeah idk how that works but I swear some days I am tired as shit and then I'll drink water and then I am all energized and feel ready to take on the world. Light is helpful too, i have a lava lamp that makes me calm, and moving around just helps. Sorry things aren't going well at home I hope that problems are fixed soon. For now, try to focus on those good moments. Congrats on the tax refunds, that's good to hear! I'll be honest I have never heard of dream journaling until now or lucid dreaming, sounds interesting though, what exactly are they like? How are they different from normal journaling and just dreaming? Wishing you the best for the last 3 days Jason

I am glad that things are going well at work, glad to hear that your boss and colleagues are nice! Keep up the good work! Jason

That's the issue with youtube. Not only is it a rabbit hole where when you say "just one video", it will cause you to then watch like 30 or more but it will give you just the "right" recommendations to make you click on it no matter what the video is. Even as a gamequitter myself, when I would watch non-gaming videos or Cam's videos I would see gaming videos in the recommendations tab, which was so intriguing. All in all, youtube can be an issue in and of itself when trying to quit games, but it also can be a distraction. Have you thought of trying to stop or reduce your usage of the app? I see your into history and there is a bunch of history books that you can read. There are also podcasts for History. One Cam recommended was Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. Both books and podcasts are good replacements for youtube if you decide to reduce your usage. Glad you came back to your senses. Best Jason

Internet browsing was a problem for me too. It's common on this forum and when you just start quitting to want to binge watch youtube videos and surf the web because it's another form of consumption another way to avoid hard work or escape reality. What personally helped me is that I hid my phone in a completely different room as for my laptop, I mostly use that for work and didn't have the reputation as a distraction device. This doesn't help anyone though and like Rudy said, try seeking online communities for getting over that specific habit. Also yes, some ways can be walking, or meditating, reading a chapter of a book, doing some light exercise (10 push-ups or 10 jumping jacks), journaling/writing down thoughts or even just sitting in silence thinking. Wish you luck! Jason

Hey, Glad to hear everything is going well! Something I noticed is that the more busy you are, the less you'll be inclined to do those bad habits (web surfing, youtube, gaming). I wish you luck on the rest of your journey Jason

Day 36 Fell into the Phone/music/youtube void again. However, I noticed today that I found music and youtube to just be downright boring. Maybe it's because when I played games, these things all connected? I am not sure, all I know is I hope this feeling lasts. To help me on my journey I deleted my spotify and youtube accounts, I also kept checking social media (Twitter, Instagram) throughout the day so I deleted those too. In terms of music I also realized that even if I may like, or even be obsessed with a band, I don't need to see what they are saying or what they put out all the time. I believe FOMO, was attached to the need to always check what they're up to, to keep up with the fanbase so I am not criticized (every community has that). Who knows. All I know is I am playing with my hair less, not necessarily because of music but because I am removing anxieties out of my body. Been slacking on my to-do list and Chinese and exercise. Not because of youtube or music but because of myself. Need to get back on that. Hope you have a great day Jason

Day 35 No games, to avoid laziness I am going to remind myself each morning that the day is going to be great and I have to make it great. No one else will do it for me. Hopefully it will work Best Jason

Day 34 Returned from my camping trip, I said it was 3 days, it was more like, 1 full day and then one night and one morning together, making two days in total, anyway we just got back this morning. It was a real fun time not only did my relationship with my father grow, but I also got to try out some things outside my comfort zone and I got to really connect with nature for the first time in a while. Only issue was it was cold at night, but that isn't enough to drag down my experience. There was something comforting about just being in nature and seeing it, instead of just being stuck in a house. I'd honestly take this experience over the first animal crossing (clocked like 15000+ hours into that) anytime. Anyway, I got out of my comfort zone by trying fishing. Where we were staying there was a lake nearby used for recreational purposes, so we tried it. It was calming and peaceful. I didn't really catch anything big, nothing exciting. The biggest thing I caught was a larger scale bluegill, but compared to some other fish it wasn't too big. While I wasn't as good as my dad or some of the other fishers, I still had a fun time. Camping and sleeping in a tent and cooking were also outside my comfort zone. As I said, when I was gaming I would skip out on family trips to play more games. So I never really went camping at all. And I never cooked, I just ate what my father made me or just grabbed what was in front of me (all the junk food). Sleeping in a tent is uncomfortable for me, I understand that its on the ground, so I wasn't expecting anything luxurious, but I couldn't sleep, which is a bummer. However, the meals were at least decent. Enjoyed my time. Nice disconnect from the world in a sense, and nice to be in nature. Makes me want to go back and make my younger self go on trips like this. Hope you all had a great day. Jason

Day 32 No games today. Short journal because I am going on a 3 day camping trip with my dad. So I wont write journals for that period. Still fighting anxiety, but I will overcome it! Best Jason

Day 31 I feel like a zombie with all the staring at the screens. I just want normalcy. While I cant have that yet, I can do things to improve my energy levels so I am not so tired. Like exercising, and eating healthy and just overall taking care of my body and my mental health. Most mental health has deteriorated during this time. I may have mentioned this before but, I read an article where it stated Americans are the most depressed they have ever been, during covid. Mental health's importance hasn't shot up because of the pandemic, its always been important, but now we need to make it one of our first priorities more than ever. I'm going to work to do that. Today in terms of games, I tried looking up gaming related things and went on discord and I realized, this isn't fun, this is boring, i hate this. 31 days ago I would have enjoyed it. I find it crazy how much my mind changes in just a month! Best Jason

Glad you have been doing well. I hope the call doesnt give you urges to play games. Best Jason