Cycologist

Day 83 : Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into years. The net gain cannot be overstated. Break free.

Day 68 : The path is bumpy. Despite that, stick to the path.

Day 49: Pretty happy with the way this day is turning out. I am productive. I feel confident. Most importantly, I am persisting. Going to ride the bike in a few to cap it off.

On Day 40, I was creative. Felt pretty good afterward. I followed up with an easy bike ride. Looking forward to crushing it early tomorrow. In preperation I will : set some alarms, arrange breakfast, and have my coffee ready. Tomorrow will be a mentally taxing day. I can

Dealing with intense feelings of self-doubt. I completed a difficult cycling class and felt empowered afterward.

I am capable.

It felt like I was in the Matrix when I received it. These 'events' have such funny timing.

It seems like every Sunday night I get the worst sleep. By Friday, the work anxiety seems to dissipate. By Friday, I am reminded that I am not the terrible, weak, incapable programmer that I tell myself I am on Monday morning. Gaming was my replacement for the creativity, achievement, and flow I sought after in my work. By continuing to deliberately practice my craft, I can get closer to the ideal workday. One that involves flow-state coding, problem-solving breakthroughs, and consistent productivity developing complex applications.

Heated argument with spouse earlier this morning. Cooled off in my office after about an hour. Was able to spend 2 pomodoros on coding work. Feeling better now.

Day 30 : It's been 30 days since I quit playing video games. Coincidentally, a gamer friend I haven't spoken to since I quit texted me this morning regarding a new patch / new content. He asked if I was planning to return and I told him I was accomplishing so much more at home since I left. I was able to stave off the urge to check the patch notes / new content. I refocused and jumped on the bike to hit a personal record - an actual non-gaming achievement. Here's to another 30 days of not gaming! Let's make real achievements, people!

Day 28: After getting a good night's sleep, I can report that the daydreams were probably my body's way of saying, "You're tired". I woke up a few minutes prior to my alarm (5:30) and actually got up and out. After some coffee (not as much as yesterday), I hopped on the bike for about 30 minutes. Had some breakfast and took care of the little one until my wife woke up. Handled shit. My plan for the day is to complete at least 8 pomodoros of online tutorials and practice. Self-esteem is up today.

I just learned about this as well in Seligman's "Learned Optimism". Check it out if you want to read more about the study and how it relates to cognitive behavioral therapy.

Day 26 : I've noticed how often I daydream/ruminate on certain things. Not sure if this is a side-effect of quitting. Maybe my brain is still craving that stimulation. I've been daydreaming my entire life. Now, I'm starting to notice it more.

Day 24 : Time. The time I am reclaiming is pretty great. I feel like I am finally getting things done in my day with time to spare.

Day 23 : This Saturday felt different. No urges to play. More time and energy spent on productive tasks. Feels good.