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royal panda

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  1. @BooksandTrees Thanks for the support. You are absolutely right about coping with relapsing. That's why I forgave myself for it. I believe it's important for you to simply acknowledge that you relapsed and it will happen, like you said. Doing this 90 day detox takes a lot of discipline and it will be hard, so totally agree! Day 4 Despite waking up late I still was able to get 4 out of the 5 things to do outside my comfort zone done! However, I failed to stay off my phone for most of the day. While it's not gaming it's still giving you that easy dopamine and is a crusher of achieving dreams if you let it control you for too long. One thing I hate is the idea that I am dependent on my phone, yet I don't know how to avoid it. After this I will redownload forest. Anyway, in terms of games, day 4 was successful, no games at all. One of the positives of today was walking my dog and cooking. I find that cooking is a very nice way for me to get off that quick dopamine hit, and also food. I also started a puzzle. Despite staying on my phone, one of the things I was doing was watching one of my old childhood shows that I watched. I wasn't able to recall it for a bit but then I realized that one of the shows I watched was about how to have a healthy and balanced lifestyle so yeah. Still could have done more productive things instead, so I will try to do that tomorrow. Gratefulness: Walking my dog and living on this beautiful earth Positive: Walking the dog and cooking What to improve tomorrow: Less phone, try to wake up earlier, do more things outside of my comfort zone My mom just told me to throw out the trash so I will do that, then I will read bye
  2. Day 3 Unfortunately I also didn't get to the 5 things each, for comfort zone and goals that I write down. From now on though, even if my brain and body don't feel like it, I will try to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to do so. As they say, "Early to bed early to rise", and "the early bird gets the worm." Despite not getting to write those things down, I accomplished a lot today. I didn't play any games, I saw the college, and I really liked it, I put away and started a new load of laundry, and I cleaned my room. So productive day in terms of chores, in terms of other stuff, I still spent a lot of time on my phone. For this I think I might re download forest. That app really helped me not only eliminate distractions for my work, but it also helped me stay off my phone for the time I allotted, so I might re download it again to minimize my phone usage. Anyway, so far so good, looking forward to day 4! Gratefulness: (Yesterday) Wearing all white, joining the club and speaking out for the leader role. (Today) finally getting my laundry done, my accessibility to education, life. Positive of the day: room cleaning, seeing the college. What to improve tomorrow: Write down 5 things for goals and comfort zone, re download forest to minimize phone, getting to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier.
  3. Day 2 Although I didn't get to write down my 5 goals for the day or do 5 things outside of my comfort zone today, I did do some things still that were out of my comfort zone. One was today at school we did a cohort competition, (for our hybrid model system) cohort a wore black on Tuesday and my cohort wore white. This is because those are the school colors. A lot of people didn't wear white today, but I went all out, every piece of me was white which I wouldn't have done before. In the past I still would have worn white but probably just like a white shirt. The other thing was that club I mentioned. It was really fun and I am even more excited about it than I was prior, I am even in part of helping lead and design two of our campaign months with the other members. Anyway in terms of games, none crossed my mind, and I didn't play. For some reason it always feels like the first few days of my detox, maybe even the first week are fine, with no urges but when I get to the latter half of the second week they seem to come around, the urges. I am not sure. We'll see what the other weeks are like though. This afternoon nothing much happened, even though for me this week felt fast, I was pooped after it so I took a nap. Didn't help though, as slept from like 5:00 PM when I finished early dinner to almost 9:00. So yeah. For some reason now I am not tired but I am still gonna go to bed so I can get up bright and early tomorrow, to exercise, and get my laundry and some homework done before I visit another college tomorrow. Good night y'all
  4. I am glad the time blocking worked for you, has your mood changed about schedules with what occurred yesterday or is it still the same?
  5. This happened to me too. Along with a bad attitude, I would still play for hours and hours and not get tired and it seemed like I wasn't cranky. Why do you think this is, that we can stay up for really long hours just constantly playing games, yet then for work, we need to take breaks from time to time? I understand one is passive and not challenging your brain at all, and when your brain is challenged it uses more energy, but still how can we just do it with games but not the important things? Also I wish you the best of luck on the exam! I hope you receive a grade you're proud of!
  6. Congratulations, on the milestone! Proud of how far you've come, keep it up!
  7. Day 1 Today, the only game I played was among us but that's because my scout friends decided to play it for their game, so I joined in. This though will be once in a blue moon, as they say. After the games I deleted it. Despite playing no other games I spent a lot of time in the youtube rabbit hole. On one hand I want to delete it but at the same time, I think motivational videos help me so I don't know what I can do so I can still obtain some knowledge from motivational videos without falling down the rabbit hole. Other than that issue though today was okay. I had a good time socializing with my friends and I exercised. So not all's bad. Starting tomorrow I am going to write down 5 goals each morning in my journal and then do the 5 second count down then do them. my 5 goals for the day will help me ensure I maintain hobbies and keep my life on track. Accordingly, I will also write down 5 things I could do that day to step outside of my comfort zone. The first one for tomorrow is a club. Even though I did some clubs in high school Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior year, I wasn't really committed to them due to social anxiety, so now I am forcing myself to be committed to this one. Grateful for: My scout friends and how supportive they are. Positive of the day: I exercised What to improve tomorrow: Less screen, more water, get up on time for school and self-time.
  8. I am tired of not taking risks I am tired of possibly not making my dream or anything I achieve, this fear of failure and risks is what's stopping me in the first place. But now I have made up my mind that I am gonna take risks every time I am making a decision towards my dream. The safe route the enclosed route is not optimal. Think of any famous person. For example Michael Jordan. He didn't make his high school basketball team, however after, he didn't not play basketball ever again. He kept playing and practicing to make it. Even though there was a chance he wouldn't he probably would have kept practicing or if not he knew he would have tried instead of not trying at all. So thats what I am going to try and do with my dreams. Let me know if you have advice for beating the comfort zone.
  9. I am sorry you had a dream like that, thank goodness it was just a dream like you said, I hope they stop occurring for you. Ultimately dreams are crazy, I am not sure if you can control your dreams but I haven't been able to. Sometimes they seem all too real, like I had a dream where I was in like a Smash bros championship, despite me never being that good at that game anyway and winning. I then held up my trophy, and then when I woke up in real life I was holding my fan like it was a trophy. I don't know what causes these real life like dreams, but they have sparked interest in me. Anyway, good luck on the rest of your detox
  10. Welcome technica, I wish you luck on all your goals! We will all be here to support you! Can I ask, what hobbies are you starting to rebuild attachment to? If you write them down, then from there you can ask people you know who don't game if they know anyone who shares the same hobby, maybe they even might!
  11. The last book I read was actually The Hunger Games. When I was a child I hated reading so I never got around to it. I finally read it and it was amazing. The book I am currently reading is Hunger, the second book in the Gone series. In this story, food is running out in both towns, and with adults gone, and little experience with cooking, they have to adapt to eating sometimes just pizza sauce or Relish.
  12. No more, I am saying no more. Yes I relapsed, and the reason for it, I consider an excuse. I relapsed to games and junk food. Both reasons were I missed them, which is not an excuse and not one I should have made. I forgive myself though, I mean, I have been playing games for years and now I am in the process of quitting it. Making the attempt to quit something which was a habit for so long is not an easy feat. I know though that I can do it this time. Yes, there will be urges, yes it will be tempting to go back, yes I will face plethora of emotions both up and down the spectrum and yes I will face negative thoughts. However, with all this, I can turn to you guys, peers, my friends, teachers, psychologist and of course relatives and family. All will be helpful. Humans aren't my only resource, I also have the ability to see any motivational video I want. In fact for the Gym assignment today in school, it was the story of a man named Kevin who was born with one arm. Furthermore, he faced a lot of hardships i.e. his dad dying of cancer, his parents getting divorced, getting cut from the basketball team because his coach said it was a two handed sport etc. Despite all these challenges, he succeeded and made it into the next basketball team he tried out for, leading all the way to professionals in Japan/China/Korea I dont remember which country, and then he started telling his story to others and has inspired millions. So him with one arm being able to do all that, is a sign that even with my mild cerebral palsy and my easy dopamine controlled mind I can do anything. Despite relapsing a positive of today was I vacuumed and I raked leaves off the driveway so thats good. I also think I did well on my college interview! Also @Martinof even though I relapsed right now. All those things weren't too hard or even hard at all to handle. I could easily juggle them all, just the urges man they pulled me in. Also it's all music that makes me just dream dreams.
  13. I know that but like how should i go about not giving into the urges, thats what i meant
  14. So the 2 games that I played during my depression was a lot of Mario and Animal Crossing. Even though it's day 15, I am feeling strong urges to watch videos on them and play them. What should I do?
  15. Day 11 + Day 12 + Day 13 + Day 14 Did I play games? No 🙂 Did I eat junk food? No 😄 Did I drink soda? No 8D Did I watch porn? No 😄 Did I listen to music? No 🙂 Thoughts of day 11 + 12: These two days were pretty stressful in terms of school, I had so many deadlines to meet and I was staying up really late to do them, which is against my goal but i had to get them done. Anyway, music, games, soda, porn, and junk food didn't cross my mind. On the 14th (day 11) it was my moms birthday which I felt bad about not eating any of her cake and celebrating with her but I told her what I was doing. It's still kind of annoying me though as she keeps putting oreos in my lunch when i am late for school and she has to pack, and she keeps offering me unhealthy foods, which in her mind she keeps forgetting but eh. Day 12 Nothing crossed my mind in terms of detoxes again so yay. This day I was still stressed in terms of school and extra curriculars but I got it all done so I am happy. Overall, I wish I was more productive today as all I did was spend time on discord, which I still struggled with, but I'll get to that in a second. Thoughts on day 13 + 14: Easy days at school, no more deadlines I had to meet so that was good. The reason they spammed me with work is because the interim report passed for the 1st quarter, now us students are just waiting for the teachers to enter their p/f grades. I'm positive I am passing all my classes. After school I got around to the chores I didn't do, I emptied my lunch box from the day at school, I took my dirty laundry downstairs, and started trying on my current clothes to see what fits me, and what does, sorting them into summer and winter clothes. From there I am going to put my summer clothes away for next summer and the winter clothes in my dressers. For today, that's something I am going to continue. After that though I left to my summer house to stay overnight, in the morning (day 14) we left to see another college, I felt the same way as the one I saw the other day, wouldn't mind staying there for 4 years, but nothing stands out. Then we took a trip to a college I saw already to see it again. This was a college that I was super crazy about at first but now I am not so crazy about it. I think after I see one more of my colleges on the 24th I am going to apply early decision to the second college I saw, that I mentioned in my last entry. But we'll see. Anyway, this day gaming didn't cross my mind neither anything else. And also in terms of discord, I figured out what was pulling me to it and what made me coming back was the great memories I experienced as I grew older. However I told myself, there will be a lot of great memories you'll have to leave, and it's hard but they open the way to more even greater memories, so now I am quitting it full time. Have a good week y'all, today I am gonna work on my clothes, exercise, read, do my laundry, work on homework, and learn new recipes and math.
  16. Welcome Hai to the forums! I am glad you made the decision of quitting games again, that's great! I wish you good luck on it. I understand you're issue with your friends. Having friends who are also addicted is difficult. I have friends online and in real life that still play games to death and it's hard to cope with the situation. Those types of friends can be dangerous to your detox. Have you tried distancing yourself from them, or if not tried suggesting other things you can do together that involve no games? Introduce them to other hobbies? If that doesn't work try finding other friends who have non gaming related interests, you can still be friends with the ones you mentioned if you wanted to, but try finding other friends. I wish you the best of luck on the friend issue too.
  17. Hey @Tabula rasa First I'd like to say thank you for your response. Secondly, I mean time blocking like writing down what chores you have to get done or writing down what you wanna do hobby-wise for the day and putting times next to it to deter time from video games. So kind of like a schedule. I understand now that you hate schedules but sometimes they can be helpful. I'd recommend time-blocking your day for a few days or even 1 week, and if you hate it still then find something else or if you find that you enjoy it keep doing it. I'd recommend trying it first though, as much as you hate scheduling.
  18. As you may know one of my detoxes is junk food, so no chocolate or ice cream or donuts or whatever. I understand that Reeses ARE in fact chocolate, however they also do have peanut butter in them, in which peanut butter is healthy. I understand that that doesn't really negate the fact that they are chocolate and the peanut butter doesn't really add that much nutritional value, but what do you think, should I avoid Reeses or would they be okay? FYI: I have avoided them completely so far.
  19. Day 8 + Day 9 + Day 10 Did I play games? No 🙂 Did I eat junk food? No 😄 Did I drink soda? No 8D Did I watch porn? No 😄 Did I listen to music? No 🙂 Day 8 + 9 thoughts: These two days I was in the northwest part of my state. It was beautiful, looked more fall than down here, and I got to see wonderful lakes. It was just magnificent. I was over here as I was looking at a college. On the 11th, we drove there and we got great views of the lake. We stopped to see one of the other colleges in that area and for that college I wouldn't mind spending four years there but nothing really wowed me about it. In the nearby college town I got to eat at this great vegetarian restaurant, I am not vegetarian or vegan but it was still yummy. Then after we drove to our hotel we were staying at a few minutes away from the second college. We ate at this pub and it was also good. This day, games, junk food, porn, soda didn't even cross my mind. I did play music again on this day but none diverting from this shared goal and my personal goals. It was primarily background noise to keep us awake. On the 12th I saw the second college, I really like it, however it is farther away from home, but I still really enjoy it. It has a fantastic view of the lake and it is rural, which is the setting in which I want to live. It really felt like some place I would enjoy being for four years, but I shouldn't make that type of assumption yet. This day I also had an interview for one of my top schools, I was really nervous. Since we were on the road, I was afraid that we wouldn't find a place to stop, luckily though we found a Sunoco, so that calmed my nerves. I think that was the longest time I have ever spent at a gas station lol. The interview was still nerve racking but I did it. I am not sure how I did, but I think I did okay, we'll see. However, it was a great basis for my other interview's. After coming back, while Porn and games did cross my mind I didn't give in, the rest were fine. Huzzah! Day 10: I am stressing for today, I have so much work for school, for college, for extra curricular's and overall just normal chores, left undone. I think I am going to grind today on them so that they are done and I don't have to worry about them. Still so many deadlines I have to meet. Anyway have a good day everyone
  20. Sorry that you didn't get a good sleep, it sounds like your bed isn't supportive anymore, have you thought of getting a new one sometime soon? I hope you have a better sleep tonight
  21. I wish you luck on getting up when your alarm rings, I struggle with getting up early too, so unfortunately I don't have any advice, but let's work towards it together!
  22. This was my problem when I first started too. What helped for me was time blocking and doing your best to avoid unimportant things and remembering why i am doing what i am doing. It was easy for me for gaming because I realized that when you play a game over and over, like a MMO or a never ending game or just your favorite game in general, the task you're doing is always progressing to the same goal, never a new one. Even if you have achieved the end goal before it's still always reaching for the same goal. Which I believe a lot of people are addicted because, they want to be able to achieve goals in real life, but they are afraid of failing and don't want to fail, or they are afraid of what others may think of that goal, so they don't even try and resort to games, because that at least makes they're brain think they are accomplishing a goal, even if they already did it for that game. So that realization made the urge for instant gratification not as bad for me. For my phone though, that's a different story. For you, I recommend time blocking, avoiding unimportant things, and filling time with hobbies. As the urge for instant dopamine can be destructive when you give into it. Good luck!
  23. I am glad you were able to get rid of it, despite that stinging feeling. That feeling always occurs when you get rid of something that is or was close to your heart. I understand how you initially felt. I am glad though that you are now feeling great about your decision. Good luck on selling your Wii U and PS3!
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