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WillDonisthorpe

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Posts posted by WillDonisthorpe

  1. So gonna update these on Saturdays

    24 days down. I heard one of my favorite games was rereleased on Steam which has led to many day dreams over the last week. Snapping myself out of it is relatively simple. Just about keeping myself on task. Same kinda process as meditation when your mind wonders. Just bring yourself back to it. So doing this I've picked up a few good habbits and I'm really seeing the benefits from them. The grattitude journal and meditation set my mindset for the day. Picking up my guitar for the first time in years has been fun and isn't the chore I thought it would be. My mind when I'm working/researching is much more responsive. 24 days in and I'm glad I've quit gaming, I may make it forever at this rate.

    On the downside of the last week, I've had to re-evaluate my goals. The Iron Man due to an internal injury I've sustained and there's no fast track to healing it, I may have to push back a year as I won't have time to get the training in as I cannot perform alot of different exercises that I would need to do, especially for the swimming section. But I'm not giving up on it, I just need to be patient.

    Right. Back on next week

  2. Day 16 down. Gonna be doing a new format from now on. I'll do weekly progress reports on here and daily records in my hand held Journal. Today was okay. Still messing about with doctors, medications and painting while on break. I have to stop any form of exerting exercise as my medication causes muscle cramps which suuucks. But aside from that. Reasonable day. Things are easing up with the lockdown so hopefully back to work soon!

  3. Day 15

    • 9 am - I woke up. Really late start today but I couldn't sleep last night till I finally dropped off at maybe 3.30 am. Light jog is all for dismorning till I know more about my medical problems.
    • 10 am - Breakfast and shower.
    • 11 am - Medical consultation. Just my luck to deal with medical issues, in a global pandemic while I'm trying to quit gaming xD
    • 12 30 pm - Lunch time.
    • 1 pm - Painting time again. Think I need to start scheduling breaks xD
    • 3 30 pm - Walked up the hill. It was relaxing but the rain was pretty heavy.
    • 5 30 pm - Dinner time.
    • 6 30 pm - I  went back to painting.
    • 9 pm - I came on here.

    How I'm Feeling?

    With the medical news, reduced exercise and lack of sleep. Easy to say today was a rough day. The urges to game had never been stronger. I need to reevaluate my time and figure out some more practical things to do now I've gotta sit back and wait for medication to do its thing.

    Song of the Day?

    Rise Above This - Seether

    (Abit of inspirational music to help with the negativity today)

  4. Considering you only played one game and it was for social. I don't think its too bad. Especially considering how addictive that game is. I used to play League and I never knew when to stop xD

    • Like 1
  5. Day 14

    • 6 am - Woke up and exercise.
    • 8 am - Breakfast and shower.
    • 8 40 am - Went out and did a family shop.
    • 10 am - Had a call with my Doctor, he's told me to relax on the exercise atm. I've got some medical turmoil ahead it seems 😛
    • 10 30 am - I went and met up with a friend which I haven't seen in about 8 months and we spent most of the day hanging out from this point.
    • 5 pm - Got home, put dinner on.
    • 6 pm - Did some painting. Finished a model I've been working on. Pretty happy with the progress.
    • 9 40 pm - Came on here, later than normal but its been a full day xD

    How I'm Feeling?

    So this is 2 weeks of no gaming. There is definitely a difference. My social life hasn't really gone up but I think this would of been a much better social experiment without a global pandemic xD
    The day itself. It was good to get out with a friend. It's been a while since I've seen someone other than family who I know as a friend so that's good.

    Song of the Day

    Right Now - Fire From The Gods

    (Pretty chill and lyrics and motivational)

  6. Day 13

    • 6 am - Woke up on time this time, High intensity walk and lower body workout.
    • 8 am - Breakfast and Shower
    • 8.40 am - Werk Werk
    • 12 pm - Lunch time
    • 12.30 pm - Did some more research on dieting mainly so I have an end goal. I'm gonna have to wait for a while as I scouted the nearby supermarkets and they are very low on too many ingredients to start it in full. For now, gonna have try some of these as ingredients become available just to get used to the food.
    • 2.30 pm - Got work on painting alot of models up. Basing them all in one long spree so I can get all their details worked on.
    • 3.30 pm - Went on a walk with the pupper. He's very happy with the outside world despite other dogs not being friendly on them.
    • 4.30 pm - Prepared and cooked food with family. We made an awesome Shepherds Pie.
    • 5.30 pm - Dinner time.
    • 6 pm - Played guitar for abit. Getting more confident.
    • 7.20 pm - Back to painting.
    • 9 pm - came on here.

    How I feel today:

    It was a pretty relaxing day. Only a half day of work so I managed to get alot of hobby stuff working. Quite happy with what I've done today and generally in a good mood. Since I spent a lot of time in my room painting, people thought I was gaming but I can assure people that I wasn't. Nor am I even tempted today xD

    Song of the day

    Cut The Cord - Shinedown

    (Abit lighter stuff today. Probably because it's been a good day)

    Back tomorrow

    • Like 1
  7. @mks I think its admirable that you are trying to get out of your shell. I think making eye contact in different stores may hit your bank if you're doing it every day though xD

    But training out of social anxiety is good, aslong as you do it your pace 🙂

  8. Day 12

    • 8 am - Late start today, struggled to sleep. Not really sure why. Running and upper body workout.
    • 9 30 am - breakfast and shower
    • 10 am - Started working again. Actually got passed the problem from yesterday. It was a logic error which I should of suspected to be honest when considering what was wrong. Hindsight...
    • 1 pm  -Lunch time and spent time with the pups in the garden again
    • 2 30 pm - Back to work. Almost at the end of this section.
    • 3 30 - High intensity walk. There is someone who I keep running into when walking, guess we just kinda sync out walks around the same time. Its nice to stop and talk for abit even if it does give my legs a break, it lets me socialize with someone outside of the family.
    • 5 pm - Played alot of guitar today. Quite happy with my finger work compared to when I started not long ago. Definitely improving in speed and technique.
    • 7 40 pm - Unfortunately got in a long argument with a friends wife. He didn't want to be involved which I don't blame him but damn that annoyed me and lasted long enough to get on this schedule 😛
    • 8 30 pm - dinner time!
    • 9 pm - Came on here.

    How I feel today

    My mind wondered to games abit today. Mainly focusing on that dream from yesterday. It was just strange. Not tempted but not too thrilled it was in my head aswell. As mentioned above. Got in an argument with a friends wife. She was trying to boss me around like she does him. It being my home and seeing him completely restrained and almost colorless in spirit. Not a pretty sight but some of that may be bias. She did piss me off. Let's just hope when I start dating I find someone that isn't looking to change me too much. For the most part, I like who I am, but lets wait for Carona to take abit more of a backseat before I worry about that.

    Song of the day

    Beautiful - Eminem

    (A nice kinda self reflective track with a upbeat chorus)

    Cya tomorrow

  9. Day 11

    • 6am - Woke up, high intensity walk and full body work out (Who said Sunday was a rest day).
    • 8.30 am - Healthy breakfast, found something which made something so bland taste good. It'll really make a difference keeping to it xD
    • 9 am - Started working on some advanced stuff for my module. Made some really good progress but I hit a brick wall xD
    • 12.30 pm - lunch time. Abit late but I was determined to smash my head into that brick wall xD
    • 1 pm - Playing with the pups in the garden and hanging out with the family. Nothing too special, just relaxing for abit.
    • 3 pm - Started working on the problem I found, didn't fix it.
    • 4 pm - Went on my walk, its getting alot easier to do work outs and long walks.
    • 5.30 pm - Roast dinner
    • 6 pm - Played some guitar, working on some of the fundamentals
    • 8 pm - Back to work. Still couldn't figure it out xD
    • 9 pm - On here to write this and check on peops 🙂 

    How I'm Feeling

    Despite hitting a hard brick wall on my work, I'm still in a good frame of mind. Although I did have a dream which was a weird mix of 3 games I used to play. It was almost sublime with the details. When I woke up I was more than a little confused by these dreams but it didn't hold me back from going on about my day.

    Song of the Day

    Lonely Feather - Haruka Chisuga

    (Very atmospheric and calming)

    Another day down 🙂

  10. @Helen Yeah, luckily for me, the lockdown started around the same time he was born, so I was able to spend most of the time watching the adorable guy grow and raising him xD
    It was nothing on Teddy's side. We think Peanut was resource protecting his human unfortunately. My brother didn't spend much time socializing him so he's not used to other dogs. Luckily, Teddy came from a litter of 10 so he's abit better on that front. Just need to find a few friends for him so the fun can continue 🙂 

  11. @mks I find when I have no reason to get up my insomnia goes wild. I'd end up  awake till 5 am for no reason because I had nothing to work towards so why bother to sleep to be ready for the day after. I think that may be a goal in itself, find some you're passionate about, something worth getting out of bed for.

    I used to be really resentful a couple years ago. It took some meditation and some real healthy mind steps to break passed it. Couldn't recommend meditation using Headspace. One of the first things it teaches you is how to let your thoughts just come and go 🙂

  12. Day 10

    • 6 am - Woke up, gratitude journal, went on walk and when I got back, did a lower body work out.
    • 8 am - Healthy breakfast, shower and watch a couple things while eating and waiting for people.
    • 9 am - went on first walk with our pup Teddy, it wasn't a long one as he just hit 12 weeks and didn't want to damage his joints and then we went round my brothers to introduce Teddy to his dog Peanut. Unfortunately they didn't get on 😞
    • 11.30 am - Healthy lunch.
    • 12 pm - Starting painting. Gotta get to work if I wanna stuff ready for my goal so I spent a good amount of time just painting.
    • 3.30 pm - High intensity walk up the nature trail. My sports clothing was in the wash and went up in my Jeans. Bad idea, my muscle expanded in my legs and the jeans got really tight around the calves and it hurt like hell as there was no room. Next time wait for appropriate clothing xD
    • 5.30 pm - Healthy dinner.
    • 6 pm - Listened to an audio book while painting more. It was pretty relaxing
    • 9 pm - I came on here

    How I felt today

    I didn't really have much time today to sit and notice how I was feeling. So I guess good? I don't feel bad. Lots of stuff. Happy with my paint work, the quality is getting better. I spend time searching techniques and then using them on a few models and you really notice by the end of it. Again... Just exercise is jeans when you're working on the lower body is definitely not worth it. Just painful. I'm a reasonably tall guy so getting long jeans and getting jeans with more room around the shins and calves is another problem by itself 😛 

    Song of the Day

    Primavera - Ludovico Einaudi

    (Pretty relaxing while painting. Helps keep the mind focused and its just generally upbeat)

    Cya tomorrow

    • Like 1
  13. @Helen Two weeks is massive when we consider how long many of us were playing these games for. The gaming industry is as good as it is bad. Lots of people full of passion and who love to create but then larger companies who do it just for money and those are the ones which thrive and catch us in their web.

    Pulling out those weeds has got two good things going for it. The work out that you can feel proud doing and that when its done, you can take pride in what it looks like as its your and your friends work, which you can keep adding to with growing 🙂 

    • Like 2
  14. 5 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

    @WillDonisthorpeI don't go to pubs because I'm sober and prefer to avoid any temptations to drink. When I read fantasy I tend to get mentally unstable and anxious would be the best way to describe it. I don't completely understand why or how to change that. If I can. Yeah the possibilities of meeting women in person are slim if you're not on a dating app or the bar scene. I've done some approaching in person at like coffee shops. But, I didn't like it and stopped.

    Thats fair enough, avoid temptation if you feel at risk 🙂 
    Oof, yeah. Avoid the genre if it causes anxiety. Completely negates the point of reading xD  

    Agreed, daily life just doesn't really involve meeting new people it seems in modern times and its hard to know when to approach someone. Still. We'll get there xD

    • Like 1
  15. Day 9

    • 6am Woke up - Did a 20 min run followed with an upper body work out. Gave my weights to my brother so had to come up with a solution to working out those muscles and I found the Back Bridge Push up... Its really not easy as I need more flexibility before I try it in full. Still the warm up helps with that and builds the muscle.
    • 8 am - Healthy Breakfast and shower. I watched a couple youtube vids (5 mins to 10 mins while I ate). Then played with my pup for abit in the garden.
    • 8.40 am - To make up for yesterdays power cuts and such I burned through alot of what I was trying to accomplish work wise. Good progress in the morning. There was abit of a focus problem, I kept trying to browse the internet but every time I noticed I got back to work. Kinda like meditation in a way.
    • 12.30 pm - Got my lunch abit late today. Ham and Egg salad. After this I got back to work.
    • 1 pm - Worked for a couple hours. Spent most of the time finding the solution to one problem but I got there in the end so pretty happy.
    • 3.30 pm -  High intensity walk through an area of the nature trail near my house I've not been up before. Really steep hill. It was raining but with the tree coverage almost completely covered me from it. Still no sun but I've got alot of areas to visit for photo opportunities when its sunny again.
    • 6.30 pm - Cooked dinner, nothing fancy, just home made chicken burgers. Muscle growth and all that jazz.
    • 7.30 pm - I've done some painting today as I wasn't so tired. Not much but it'll grow into something in time.
    • 9.40 pm - I came on here and there we go.

    How I'm feeling

    So didn't feel exhausted today so I managed to get alot done. No gaming temptation today even though I watched an episode of a gaming Isakai at dinner time when I was preparing food and waiting for it to cook. Despite issues on focus in the morning I was alot more determined today to do better which I'll hopefully keep aiming for.

    Song of the Day

    Chaos - I Prevail

    (Kind of fits with my determination and general mood of the day, to get there in the end.)

    Another day down

  16. I like your new plan system. Gives you a priority system which can really help push you. Don't worry about breaking being positive, its bound to happen now and again, just focus on how you respond to this and how to bring yourself back 🙂

  17. 8 hours ago, Helen said:

    Do I want to spend my life that way? No I choose not to. However, then I couldn't stop and I told myself I didn't really want to stop. Well I do want to stop. and I am. Sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is easy.

    I love these words. They're powerful and full of conviction. You've got this 🙂

    And yeah, when you're tired its definitely more difficult. Good way of handling it though.

    3 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

     Shedding light on the dark secrets of our addiction can help them clear up for sure. I'll tell on myself sometimes on here if I feel like it'll help me be aware of where I'm at and what I'm struggling with.

    Completely agree with this. Although so far I've put those kind of secrets in my hand written journal but I've not done too much off the rails yet 😜 

    • Like 1
  18. @Helen Thanks, heres hoping it holds up xD

    Day 8

    • 6am - Woke up on time,  wrote my gratitude journal and immediately went out for my high intensity walk which was terrible weather(Luckily I live next to a really steep hilly nature trail so its pretty easy to get this), got back and prepared breakfast from my new diet plan and showered all done by 8.
    • 8 am - Here I began studying and had as issue which persisted from about 9 until 12 when I went to make a sandwich for lunch(it was healthy) where we were getting random power cuts. Really annoying when your working on practical SQL Injections.
    • 12.30 pm - I tried to get more studying going but the power cuts just kept happening and I couldn't get anything written in time to try it(I tried 3 times). So I decided to go into town, grab flowers for my mum and dad as its their 30th anniversary. Me, my brother and sister split the costs so it was from all of us.
    • 2 pm - Took my 12 week pup for his jab. I'll take him for his first walk on Saturday.
    • 3.30 pm - I got back home and went for my high intensity walk, pushed myself alot more than the morning to kind of test my lungs and they've come along way since I started. Here's hoping I still think that tomorrow for my running xD
    • 5 pm - Prepared food for dinner. More healthy stuff for dinner. Trying to create a caloric deficit so I lose abit of weight while I work on fitness. Then when I've hit my target I'll add more protien, carbs and fats for muscle growth and really kick off.
    • 5.40 pm - Back to study/werk werk. The electric finished doing its thing so I could get some practical stuff done. Nearly at the end of this study topic and I can't wait to move on. Its one of those "You need to know" but its not that fun.
    • 7 PM Took a break and came on here to talk to people and write this.

    After this I'll be doing abit more studying but primarily singing as I feel abit stressed and want to relax. I was going to do some painting but I learned a long time ago, don't paint when you're tired. Yeah it'll look good now but in a few days you'll be kicking yourself for all the awkward tiny mistakes xD
    Also Meditation, I meditate before I sleep as it lowers my heart rate it and I can go over any good or bad things before bed and sleep relaxed.

    How I feel today

    I woke up very tired today, abit sluggish in the mind but pushed through. I was sluggish with studying aswell but the electric going on and off just kept making me lose focus which was not great. It was pretty tough but I blame that mainly on just being tired. Must of had a disturbed sleep or something. Thats when I decided to go into town, get some fresh air. I'm very happy with how I'm doing physically though. Despite my mind being borderline asleep for most of the day, my lungs are definitely growing so I can't wait to increase my speed for tomorrows run.

    Song of the day

    Shaped By Fire - As I Lay Dying

    (As I was abit down I needed something abit faster to pick me up)

    Thats all for now

  19. 23 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

    I got a picture of myself just in case I ever go back to the misery that was dating sites. Part of me would rather die single than be subjected to the discomfort of being on those sites again. It just stressed me out and made. me feel depressed as well. That might be the stronger part of me that doesn't want to do it.

    Some dating apps can be really discouraging and alot of the time the apps are designed for one thing (Looking at you Tinder), but there are a few exceptions here and there. How are you with going out and meeting people? I'm soon to be in this position too (assuming lock down eases up) where I've got to look at my dating options and assuming woman still go out to pubs, I may be in luck. Otherwise it may be dating app for me 😛

    2 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

    I read some poems by the author of Milk and Honey. They were pretty good. I might read their book. Looking through my old history on Hoopla I saw The Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind. Ah . . . to read fiction again. I might just give it a try even though the results have been dismal every time I tried fiction again. Maybe this author, this book will somehow slip through the cracks of the defenses my mind has against reading this genre of books. I'll feel comfortable and at ease reading them.  But probably the opposite will happen and it'll just be a waste of 1/10 borrows I get per month. 

    What is it about fiction you find difficult? Is a particular type of fiction like fantasy/scifi/horror or is it just the concept in general? I ask as I read almost exclusively fiction with a few insightful exception reads like 'Deep Work' and 'Together is Better' to broaden the mind.

    • Like 1
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