NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming
Realworlder
-
Posts
402 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Realworlder
-
-
22 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
We'll see I'm on wait to see an urgent care Therapist today and probably wait a while for the new therapist. I might end up going back on meds. The PT is helping my knee is getting better. I can stand on it for over a minute now without crutches. No walking w/o crutches yet though.
I see, hopefully you get someone that will be able to help it! Stay strong buddy! It might be better if the meds will help but I do remember that you were quite happy once you got off. It will be best to leave it to the therapist though, it might be the best solution after all. Good to hear that the knee is getting better. I am sure you will be able to walk just fine in no time.
-
1
-
-
21 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Optimistic post:
Vipassana is going well. I'm scheduled to see a therapist tomorrow morning. The last one didn't have much to help me with. Maybe I'll get back on meds like she said to though. Really not a fan of meds though. Got a meditation group on Thursday. Just trying to find some sort of way to improve my discomfort enough that I can safely go back to work next week. I guess rehab is going well. Got PT on thursday. I'm doing the exercises and icing the knee almost daily. I'm thinking about getting a meditation chair also known as a backjack. Like they had at my old school to set up and meditate on my bed. Yeah. Things are improving.
I smiled at mindfulness
I accomplished eating a banana for breakfast like the Flash
I am grateful for flash, mindfulness, banana, iris, nora, danielle, metta, water, joe and green
Have a good day
Hope that the new therapist will be able to help. How is your knee? Is the PT helping? Good to see that things are improving.
-
1
-
-
18 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Yes I hope so. I tried emailing an old therapist for help. Maybe I can schedule with a new one too. My mom suggested taking a week off work to try to chill out for a bit before getting back into it so I'm gonna try for that as well.
That is good to hear, I think that therapy can be super helpful. That is a good suggestion on her part. If it is stressing you this much you might just need some time off to relax and then get back with a strong start. Take care mate.
-
1
-
-
17 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Yeah I think I know how to contact an urgent care person I did it before.
That is good to hear! Stay safe!
17 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:Do you have any ideas? The only things I'm doing differently are meditating more, EFT and affirmations to try to deal with it.
I am sorry but I am not sure what else would help. I think this would be something to discuss with a professional and find some solutions to mitigate it. I am sure there is a way to improve it.
17 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:Yeah I'm sitting again while meditating as the knee is doing a bit better. I'm doing all the PT stuff and have appts for weeks out from now. I feel cautiously optimistic that I will be able to heal fully.
That's great to hear, just give it some more time and I am sure you will be able to get back to walking and exercise in no time.
-
1
-
-
On 4/14/2021 at 3:10 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Thanks. Like I said to Jason I'm gonna try to do it on my bed because I feel much better when I do it alone without anyone else around. Although I always prefer to be sitting if possible I guess it's worth a try this way.
Whatever works mate, if I lay down when I meditate I tend to fall asleep haha. Sitting makes it easier to focus a bit better imo. It is great to hear that there is no damage on your shoulder and knee. I think that for the cartilage the best thing to do would be physical therapy and some mild stretching and of course rest untill things get better. My shoulder is super sore today too haha. Odd thing is that only one of the two.
I agree with Books, you need to get better at not being at the complete control of the DE, even though it might be hard, you have to learn how to fight it. Moreover if you are feeling suicidal, contact emergency services or someone who you can talk to! It is never an option!
-
1
-
-
19 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Ty I think I'm going to just try drawing landscapes. I'll definitely miss the beauty of the anime characters but Idk I can basically either draw anime or abstain from masturbating. It doesn't seem like I can do both. The temptation is too much. Gotta get away from it if I'm going to keep this streak going.
Fair enough. Stay with landscapes, it is the best of both worlds then as you can maintain your streak but also be able to continue drawing which you enjoyed. That is a long time to meditate. Good job on that. As Jason mentioned I do not think it is that important to go for super long, but it might be worth trying how long can you meditate at one go. Although it would be good to be careful with that so you do not burnout on meditation.
-
1
-
-
You can always draw male or other characters without any clear gender and that might help. I am sorry to hear that. Stay strong!
-
1
-
-
On 4/10/2021 at 3:21 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
I tried using a brace but like after an hour or so with it on the knee just started hurting really intensely so I took it off. Idk maybe I could like try a different one. I'll see about messaging my dr about it. Hehe it definitely takes some dilligence to maintain a meditation practice. I've been increasing it by 5 minutes a week and my goal is 1hr. So starting monday I'll incresase to 1hr. I am still drawing. Idk if I'll continue with it. Sometimes the pictures of anime girls are like too arousing and it makes me concerned I'm going to relapse on masturbation. But I also enjoy drawing and it's a nice hobby. I tried watched demon slayer and liked it but I can't watch it because of my disability. Pretty much no new shows unless something changes. I have been in a lying down position to elevate my knee. That could be it.
I see. Well you are very close to it. That's great to see you reach 1h goal. If you enjoy it I would say stick with it, you can always draw non-arousing characters. That's a pitty, well maybe sometime in the future. If not then there are shows that you can enjoy so sticking with them is not that bad. That is sometimes the issue, that one injury kinda leads to another, especially if it stops our movement, however, it still might be best to consult with your doctor. Also good job resisting the thoughts.
-
1
-
-
20 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Yeah I hope so. Time will go by fast enough, I just look forward to getting to the next steps. I dunno I just got more serious about meditating recently and started upping the time. The more I do it the more I seem to want to do it. Even with 55mins I still feel like I want to do more. I figure if I watched no TV a day I could maybe make it to two hours a day meditating. I always imagined if my discomfort got more out of control and I couldn't watch TV that's what I'd do. Or if my job got taken from me because I couldn't work anymore or I retired and had nothing to do. I could just meditate 6-8 hours a day like the monks. Kind of weird to think about it like that. I mean you wouldn't really be doing anything all day. Idk that'd be weird. Might be interesting, but I'm wary of over meditating. Especially after overdoing it with my knee. I don't want like a mental injury.
Not much to do now besides rest and wait for the MRI. That reminds me, have you tried using a brace or just compression bandages on your knee? That could help strengthen it and allow you to walk a bit at least. That's cool, I struggle to make habitation a habit. I really like it sometimes but on some days it feels like an extreme chore. It is a good habit, why not get it up to one hour? That is a nice number haha. As long as you make the increases slow and incremental then you should be fine, that is the same with exercise tbh.
Are you still drawing? That is great! How is it going? Have you watched demon slayer? One of your old pictures was from that anime, I think you might enjoy it. It is pretty classic Shonen but has great action, music and quite a few funny moments. I really liked it. About the hearth pain, could it be from bad posture possibly? Usually pain in that area is caused by that or sitting in a bad position for a long time.
-
1
-
-
There is always option that after the MRI there will be a way to fix it without surgery so lets hope for that! But yeah, the recovery time for it seems long but then a few months flies by pretty quickly too. Good job on the meditation, I would not be able to go for that long. I struggle even with the 5-10 min meditation haha.
-
1
-
-
Best of luck with achieving your desired weight. I am sure it is achievable especially if the main reason were the drug side effects. Oh I see, sorry to hear that. Hopefully you will be able to recover quickly and get back to yoga and later, weightlifting too. Injuries are super annoying but part of life and sometimes hard to avoid. For the pushups have a look at pushup bars, it won't help with the shoulder pain but it pretty much solved the wrist pain I sometimes had with the exercise. Or you could just do them on your fists as that puts your wrist in a more neutral position too. However they are not the best solution as the increased range of motion might be harder on your shoulder. They work for me as I think I was close to carpal tunnel from all the gaming so it is nice to have a variant that is easier on the wrist.
-
1
-
-
22 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Hey good to see you as always. I hope the new journal reset goes well for you. Thanks I hope my knees get better soon too. I'm calling everyday to try to get in earlier if someone cancels their appt. I did try fasting and it didn't go so great for me. It was just making me feel tired and cranky. So I went back to three meals a day. When I eat a small dinner though I'm able to lose weight so that was going well for me. I went from 183 to 175. But I can't weigh myself anymore bcuz of the knee so I guess I'll find out if I lost any weight when I complete the surgery and recovery.
Thanks buddy! Fair enough, it did took me a while to fully get used to it but I used to skip breakfast anyway on most days so it wasn't that hard of a change for me. At the end of the day just stick with whatever works best for you. I also would not put that much importance on the weight itself, I think that if you feel like you lost some and look better then that might be more significant that just weight. As weight is very flexible depending on food/water intake and so on.
I think that with some rest and recovery exercises your knees should get better. Unless it was some kind of acute injury during the squat itself (eg. tear) then it should heal up well with time. It can take quite a while but might not be as serious, well once you get it checked you will know the best plan of action. I had a lot of issues with ankles and even a very bad sprain, during which I could not walk got better in about a month or two. Still took lot more time to get back to exercise and even now its weaker but functional.
-
1
-
-
Sorry to hear that you are struggling with such injuries. Hoping that they will get better soon, as well as the MRI shows you some good results and options that will help you. I have not posted much but decided to start posting regularly again, I created a new journal as I wanted a complete reset. Have you tried intermittent fasting? I think that helped me the most when it comes down to losing weight. I have been doing it for some time now and I really enjoy the freedom of not needing to eat every few hours.
-
1
-
-
On 3/12/2021 at 3:13 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
I get the bad energy even from a single text message and it lasts like for hours from just that. When I saw her in person it lasted over 24 hours. It is rough. I don't know if I'm ever gonna make it in my career or get married. I do hope to treadmill it up someday. The yoga is good. Yeah I'm only working like 14 hours right now and FT is considered 25 so I'm a little ways off I'm not even up to speed yet.
That is quite unfortunate. I hope that you find someone who does not give you bad energy. Don't worry mate you will get up to speed soon I am sure! It's quite hard with no fap, I think it is quite natural to have sex drive and completely stopping requires tons of self control. You should look at the positive of how long you were able to stay nofap and not beat yourself over relapsing. This stuff happens, now you know that you will be able to got longer next time.
-
2
-
-
On 3/10/2021 at 3:12 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
I don't know if there's something I can do to fix her energy. I tried to just tough it out for a week but it was making me feel like uncomfortable 24/7 and I didn't want to feel like I was dead inside anymore. I hope you're right and there is someone that I can meet that I won't experience negative symptoms with. The only person I have that relationship with now is my mom. Everyone else I pretty much feel at least a little uncomfortable with. I've been on bumble for like 2 days I'm probably gonna get off by the end of the week. But that means I'll be back to having like no avenues for meeting girls. Unless the Asians pair me up with someone again. It's really too bad because me and xiao really both seemed to be trying to make it work. And we were both attracted to each other. Eh. What're you gonna do. Maybe my energy disorder will get better and I can hit her up again in the far future Idk. Yeah no more visiting that client. The med and yoga are great but they don't burn enough calories. I was losing weight when I was walking. I'm gonna try using a treadmill on Sunday and see if my knee holds up. Then maybe get an at home treadmill and get back to losing weight.
That's fair enough, no point forcing yourself if it makes you miserable. Could you maybe talk more online or do you get the bad energy even that way? It does sounds rough. Good luck with the treadmill that will be nice to get some more exercise again. Still the yoga sounds great! Good job with the work, but it's good to be aware of the stress and the workload so you do not burnout.
-
1
-
-
On 3/8/2021 at 3:11 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Hehe I'm probably gonna give this relationship the axe. I feel dark energy from her and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I gave it a week and a date. That was more than enough to make a judgement on this. It's not gonna work. I don't think her energy is gonna get better. She had a lot of good things about her but I just can't deal with the bad energy. It was making me get all kinds of negative symptoms. Insomnia, acne, feeling cold and clammy, stressed all the time etc. Enh. Whatever. I'll just be happy to get away from her so I can calm down more. I've been getting bad intrusive thoughts about things. I'm gonna try to make some changes to like get rid of them. I dunno if I'll ever meet someone with my like inability to deal with most peoples energy problem.
Sorry to hear that, but well if that's how you feel and makes you feel better than it might be good. Isn't there anything you can do about her energy? I am sure that is someone who you will be able to connect without experiencing negative symptoms.
Sounds like you had a rough day yesterday, the fleas are really annoying but at least now you know how to get rid of them pretty quickly. Well at least now they won't return back from the client as you won't visit. Good job on the long meditation and yoga. I want to get more into yoga and stretching again too. It is a super useful habit.
-
2
-
-
On 3/5/2021 at 3:19 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Ya maybe I'll be tv watching with her soon. No sleep improvements yet. Though I feel a little stronger when I workout. I want to lose like 15 lbs and get down to 170 or 165 even. I despise ruminating on things. I keep trying to practice mindfulness to like get rid of the thoughts. I'm still trying with her. We texted like everyday since meeting it's been a bit much for me. But not like totally unbearable to where I want to stop. I got this chair that's like a piece of a sectional couch they weren't using. It's just a chair no arms or reclining but it's leather and it's comfy.
I am sure there will be more noticeable improvements once your are off them completely but even that might take a few days after that. Mindfulness should be a great way to help with that, otherwise what works for me is to work on something, or do something that takes my mind of those kind of thoughts. Seems like things are going well, even though it might be difficult to open up more, I would say that it is necessary for a relationship to work. As long as you have a good time I do not think that it matters how you met. On top of that it seems like a great opportunity considering the ongoing pandemic and lack of social contact with people anyway.
-
1
-
-
On 3/3/2021 at 3:14 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Totally, watching shows with someone else makes it so much more enjoyable. I feel like I can watch for a lot longer. When I'm by myself I'm always getting up to exercise instead. Although that's probably a good thing. Yeah I'll be off risperdal completely this sunday I'm hoping to see some sleep improvement. I may already be seeing weight loss, I think I'm down 5 lbs if the scale isn't malfunctioning. I hear organ meats are really healthy for you. I just never eat them, hehe. Yeah you're right about the job. I'll try not to worry too much about it. Virgo's can have a tendency to overthink and worry too much about stuff. It's not perfect but it may just work out fine anyways. Good to see you posting my friend.
It definitely is, lately I have been rewatching quite a few shows with a friend and it is super nice. Also she has not seen some of them so it's cool to see her reactions to certain scenes haha. Awsome! That's great to hear. Seems like it is going well. Are you already seeing some sleep improvements with just the lowered dose? That's pretty good, do you want to lose some more? Yes they are, they are probably the most nutrient dense foods out there. I do the same sometimes too, I tend to worry about my work too and lot of times it is just things in my head that if I think about it logically are pretty easy to resolve. Sometimes it is just the anxiety and stress that makes it seem like much bigger deal than it might actually be in reality. It is good to post regularly again. I did skip yesterday but that day was not the greatest but I am happy that I managed to get things on the right tracks again. I would say that just give it some time as you mentioned yourself, if you get to know her a bit better you might feel more comfortable with her. What kind of chair are you getting?
-
1
-
-
7 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
No I haven't watched it yet. I was just gonna wait for it to come to crunchy roll and watch it all at once probably. My new friend likes it so maybe we'll just rewatch the whole thing together if she's down. Getting off the meds is going well so far. I just wish I could go faster but I'm at max speed. In three weeks I'll be off them completely. I'm a chicken and turkey person mostly. I'll usually only eat beef and pork when I go out. I'm hoping things get better once I'm off meds. Sleep, skin anxiety etc. That's good you're being more productive. I'm getting more hours at work too.
Oh, I see. Well you have a lot to look forward to haha. It is always nice to watch shows with someone. No need to rush, especially if that can have negative side effects so better take all the time you need. I quite like beef, I do not use port that much but it is nice to mix things up. Lately I have been including more organ meats into my diet and I think it is a great way to get a lot of nutrients although I am aware that lot of people do not like the flavor. This job seems pretty good so do not worry about it too much, on top of that getting hours is the main thing, once you get licensed then you can look for a pay upgrade I would say.
-
1
-
-
It can be rough when we plan out too many things for the day. I tend to make the same mistake too, sometimes its possible if everything goes perfectly but if something goes wrong then it feels like the whole day falls apart and that is devastating. What helps me sometime is not to focus on getting everything perfectly but on smaller achievements and their overall accumulation over time. However, as I am saying that I still run into the same issue so I know that it is not that easy. I am a huge fan of the earlier sunrise too. It makes waking up so much easier. I struggled with it so badly during winter but it is getting better. Keep up the good work! Good luck on the phone detox too.
-
1
-
-
8 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
Thanks man. I dunno if we'll get along well or what'll happen but time will tell. We talked about Attack on Titan. It was kind of cool. Yeah I'm finally earning hours towards my license. It's a big victory but I'm already concerning myself with earning 26 hours a week and like if I'm gonna make it ok there. Getting off my meds and seeing if that helps with my skin and stress and sleep levels. I guess as soon as we take one step we're just wired to look ahead to the next one. Once I'm licensed and have a high paying job I think I'll feel like I made it though. Same with having a wife and friends and I dunno being in better shape. I'll keep on trying.
Just give it time and you will see. Have you been watching the final season of AoT? It is so good, I just wish all of it was out as it is painful to wait a week for new episode. I started rewatching from beginning again with a friend of mine. She has not seen it before because she thought it was too brutal but I think that she likes it now. Best of luck with getting of the meds. There is always something to strive towards but it is worth to appreciate what we already achieved too. Getting it half a year sooner would be awesome.
Stir fry sounds great, I have not made that in ages. Thanks for reminding. Lately I have been eating a lot more steaks and beef in general. Good to see that things are going well for you. I have managed to reset and be a bit more productive too so lets keep this up for quite some time!
-
1
-
-
Good to see that thing are going well for you now! Nice to hear that you met a girl and was able to connect. Hopefully you get along well. I found that it is always nice to have some common interests as it makes it easier for conversation but it is not always necessary. It's great to see that you are finally earning hours towards the licensure with your new job! Keep up the good work mate!
-
2
-
-
On 2/16/2021 at 3:12 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
@RealworlderMaybe I can get some more acne meds too that might help. Thanks for encouraging me. I hope it does get less stressful with time. That's good you're working out. I just got a dip bar set up in my little home office room. In addition to that I have a deadlifting setup in the basement so I have two areas with workout equipment in the house. It's kind of ridiculous but I'm glad my mom is putting up with it. Yeah sleep scheduling can be a struggle. I'm pretty consistent at going to bed on time and getting up too. But I'm thinking maybe once I'm completely off meds I'll finally stop sleeping 13 hours a night and be able to have more time in the day to like chill and exist in awake mode. Good luck with your sleep.
That's great, well as long as you have a dip and pull up bar then you are pretty much set, with the deadlift set up on top of that you can cover whole body no problem. It is going slowly, I still wish I did more but it was better than nothing. That's good to hear, my sleep schedule is still some work in progress. The main issue though I would say is that I have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Sorry to hear that the new supervisor is not that behaving that well. Hopefully you will manage to fix that and get a good helpful superviser
-
1
-
-
20 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:
@RealworlderI'm glad it's getting better. My new job is so stressful it's causing me acne. But I'm somewhat hopeful that once I get off meds in about 6 weeks my skin will improve. God help me. Thanks, I hope the clients keep rolling in. I had like amazing record numbers my first week. They had more clients than I could schedule. My mom tells me the new jobs good too. I hope I'm able to adjust to it like you said. These next few weeks are my getting up to speed weeks. Things are going well enough. The people are okay. Yeah it's 67% more money per hour so it's a lot better pay. I want to try to get 10k more often it felt really good, thanks. Hope your workouts are going well too friend.
It is annoying that it takes time again even to get back to routine that we might have before. That is not that long, if that helps you with acne that would be great. Seems like you are doing a great job. Just give it time and as I mentioned it will be less stressful once you are more used to it. I got back to working out again which is great, finally had a short one yesterday. I still need to make it a habit again but I will get to that. I mainly struggle with my sleep schedule but I will fix it. I have to.
-
1
-
TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life
in Daily Journals
Posted
A bit late reply but great to hear that the knee is getting better. Soon you won't need any crutches. Also congrats on getting close to your weight goal. I use Brave which has a inbuild adblock and it is so refreshing not seeing ads on phone, well there stil are quite a few of them in apps but it is what it is. On the other hand there is the benefit of the apps being free if there are aps there but some site push it way to far for sure.