Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: The EASIEST Way to Stop Gaming

Joba

Members
  • Posts

    29
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Joba

  1. On 1/28/2018 at 0:43 AM, choijiah said:

    I can't find my old post in daily journal. Can somebody tell me why? did they delete old posts?

    So I decided to quit game forever 3 month ago. 

    But i relapsed again and again and again. Don't remember all the reasons why but half of them related to my old ingame-love story.

    It's right or wrong to still keep in touch with him? 

    I don't care anymore, he made me disappointed and sad ... i think i am not good for him so i think i better go.

    I am writing this hoping this time I can totally get rid of game out from my life now and then.

    have fun without me.

    A wise woman once told me, some people you meet are going to be here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Not everyone can stay with you the entire time in your lives journey. People change, sometimes for the better or for the worst. What you're doing is improving yourself by detoxing from video games. If your interest cannot follow you as a friendship outside of gaming then I would recommend reconsidering what you want out of your relationships. Our time is finite! use it wisely!

     

    • Like 1
  2. On 1/18/2018 at 1:51 PM, thehondasc00py said:

    The interesting thing is, every time it happened to me, the first day actually always ended on a high note. It was really fun, I enjoyed it, or that one particular movie DID give me some value, and I went to bed feeling refreshed and reenergized, with no regrets. "That was fine, that was fun. Ok, back to work tomorrow."

    I didn't go back to work tomorrow. I theorize that, because no real consequences were felt, only the emotional high, the joy, the system thinks "well fuck it, why not again"?

    And so it went on until there was really no more joy to be felt, only suffering and shame. Welp. Now, acceptance and forgiveness, embracing the rock bottom, and only then, after I had really experientially realised, again, the futility of it, the consequences, was I ready to move on again.

    Still, it hurts. Now there was suffering I would have liked to distract from. Here the rubber hit the road. I saw it as "cutting off a diseased limb before it spreads". You gotta cut it off, but it's gonna hurt, and then you need to let the system bleed out. Cravings and thoughts arose and I needed to let them come and bleed out but no longer act on them, until a few days later where it subsided and all was back to normal.

    Atleast that was my experience. Hope it's of value to you. 

    Hi thehondasc00py,

    I just want to give everyone an update that I am thankful I have enough introspection and quit again, with Jan 22nd 2018 being my new "post relapse" quit date. 

    I definitely went through all of those stages within this time you mentioned. It was quite a wake-up call of how miserable I was playing in the first place. I don't miss having intense cravings and obsessive thinking. I realize that I was also trying to rationalize playing by "putting it on trial" which now I realize was just a clever way for my mind to get me to play more. After two weeks the madness had to stop. I am so thankful I was able to nip this at the bud before it escalated into a destructive habit. The alarm bells went off when I was contemplating taking time off work, and neglecting my passion projects in order to play. 

    It was interesting to observe how my mind would react and what patterns it developed, very quickly too I might add. I learned that even after so long that I wasn't missing out on anything. I definitely enjoy my mind being clear/focused, not dominated by obsessive thoughts of gaming and false sense of progression, followed by guilt and shame. 

    I appreciate everyones' help and words, Thank you so much!

    I'm going to practice piano chords now :) 

    • Like 1
  3. On 1/15/2018 at 5:39 PM, Cam Adair said:

    Thanks for sharing brother. Negotiating with yourself to rationalize or justify your behavior is a common experience your ego mind will play to keep you comfortable and in a vicious cycle. Cultivating more mindfulness and identifying when this is going on is the antidote to it. When you slip up or relapse back into gaming it's very common to go through a binging cycle, but it's also helpful to notice what's going on and use that to make even more empowered choices about what you want for your life going forward. Learn from it and refocus on your growth.

    Hi Cam, Thanks for the response! - Do you think keeping a "gaming" journal would help? I already have a solid morning routine that has been unwavering through all of the pressures' I've been going through recently. I believe what I have learned from the time not playing is how many positive things came from quitting gaming. Its helped me re-evaluate my life and my goals/purpose/cool stuff. I have felt the reward is significantly higher sense of satisfaction finishing projects than any game. Recently during this binge I've noticed how little I cared about winning/losing. Since that two day binge I've played significantly less in the evenings and I noticed almost like, alarm bells when I feel like I've hit my personal threshold. Which is is great because I don't feel as drawn to games as I thought, and I don't feel almost "scared" to touch one.

    I do have RL friends that live all across the country, and although we talk quite often it would be nice to be able to connect with them this way. They've stayed friends with me and supported my decision to quit games in the first place, which is awesome of them.

    Perhaps its a form of clever rationalization, but I've decided to try a month of gaming with just friends I know IRL. With two caveats. A: The game must be free B: Must play with them only.

    I have watched both videos on "Gaming with moderation" and I found them very insightful. 

    I will definitely be keeping more mindfulness during this trial and seeing if gaming in moderation is viable for me, and if not then I will know that I will need to disconnect from them again.

    Thank you for your support!

     

     

     

     

    • Like 1
  4. Hey GQ forums,

    Long term quitter here. I am glad to know that I have lasted this long and honestly had no idea this would happen. However due to a recent slip up, I now keep having obsessive thoughts about games and now i'm anxious of having a full blown relapse. Let me explain.

    The direct action that caused breaking my year and 10 month record going cold turkey was broken recently because of a really bad 2 day hangover. Fortunately the actual gaming only lasted two days, but it was 2 full days straight. it literally felt like old habits again when I was depressed, wouldn't even shower/get dressed and would play 12+ hours a day. I would wonder to my self "I'm bored of this now" but then keep playing, "You should do something else now" but then keep playing anyway. It was so horrible not being in control. I even played a game for sure would rehook me just to see if I was missing out. Which I realize i'm not missing out, but now I've noticed my patterns of thinking trying to justify playing with thoughts like:

    "Wow that seemed pretty harmless, and that was only 40 minutes. maybe you can just play this on the weekends"

    "This was fun, you're already watching TV every night anyway now, how much different is playing a game for a few hours a night?"

    "how about playing after you finish XYZ in your professional life" 

    "how about only play when some of your friends play? its like a virtual board game". 

    "I want to research more technology because its fun! You're building an empire!" 

    Recently I felt that I haven't had many inspiring concepts or themes in my life that I enjoy other than Google Spreadsheets (they're amazing btw, especially fun if you color the backgrounds!... wow i'm old). Inspiration is also very important for creativity. 

    My down time has been board-games, since play is good for inspiration too. Me and a few friends get together roughly once a month to play and I think they're great. They don't trigger video game cravings, they're social, you're hanging out with people face to face, and I found it was a great transition from playing video games with them. So recently a new board-game I've been obsessed about has really intrigued me to buy it. Its called Twilight Imperium and its a space empire game with politics, space battles, and economics. My interests are already seated with futuristic technology since I love robots, sci-fi and cyberpunk. I've wanted to buy it and play but the game is almost 200 freaken dollars for something I would play once. It doesn't feel like a wise choice.

    So I figured, after so many days not playing a single video game, the other challenges happening, projects on hold, indulging in the holidays, the literal daily grind, and feelings of "Am I really missing out?"  I figured just for those two flippin' days while I drank water and recover I thought it would be okay to blob out into a video game fantasy similar to what the theme the board game presents, in hopes that it would just scratch that itch so I can move on. I didn't expect to have such intense withdrawal/addiction symptoms. I hope this is just a phase. But now I ask, Have the gates really opened? 

    What have you experienced and have you gone through something similar? 

    How did you deal with losing momentum and picking it back up? 

    What other resources (other than here) did you do instead? 

    I appreciate your time reading all that and look forward to hearing from you.

    Thanks

    Joba

  5. Hey fellow GQ'ers

    I cannot believe its been over a year since I officially quit video games and i'm so happy. So much internal growth has happened that Its hard to mention each one individually, but I will share a few things I have noticed. If you're just starting this challenge or are contemplating quitting, do it because its worth every second of it.

    My willpower has significantly increased. This has helped me overcome other bad habits and being able to resist instant gratification has lead me to seek out rewards that take a long time to manifest. It has helped me develop discipline in my daily habits and become more resilient to stick things out when the going gets tough instead of giving up like what I used to. (instead of saying "ah i'll just play games" ) 

    I'm more attentive when talking to people. I'm genuinely interested in what they have to say and finding unique things to talk about with them. Instead of itching to just move past it so I can get back to playing games. 

    I'm reading books consistently, something I never did at all and I feel more genuinely inspired to learn things. In the year I've finished about 11 books. Thats more that all the books I've finished combined up until the last year.

    The biggest payoff, one I would never trade is that I've finally reconnected with my passion; I've reconnected with writing music. My dream that I never thought was possible to even pursue. I've never been happier. I just finished investing into a kick-ass production computer (with an intel i7 7700k!) and I am excited to announce this...

    I have started a my own independent electronica record label!!!

    I plan on having my first release this summer. Stay connected with the social media, as content will be available through YouTube, Livestreams, and more. You can find the label on its home page at http://www.gauntletrecords.com

    I can't say thank you enough. For this community and its support It wouldn't of been possible without you. 

    Thank you GQ's! <3

  6. Hi Everyone,

    I just realized this today and just too damn happy not to post. What an incredible journey it has been. I going to do an in-depth post once I hit a year however I'm just so happy to be sitting here realizing that my life is going in the direction I want. I wanted to let anyone know who is struggling to keep going because life only gets better and it has the biggest return of investment. Strange and wonderful things happen to your mind; you start to think clearly, creativity skyrockets, and you even sleep better! The confidence you get overcoming VGA outweighs any game reward, especially when the world tells you otherwise. Its incredibly empowering to realize your own strength and to liberate yourself. I feel free!

    Thank you Cam for starting this movement, and to everyone else to keep on persisting because your time is valuable and it only gets better!

    Thank you!

    PS: I have some very exciting news that i'm DYING to tell everyone about but thats' a secret until next month! :D 

     

     

    11months!.jpg

  7. Have you tried Stayfocusd?

    It's important to get new activities or you will end up with a lot of idle time your dexto which can be dangerous.

    " Idleness is the mother of all vices"
     

    Hey Daniel, 

    I have not! However since this post I've actually decided to do a social media fast, as well as not playing video games its been about 11 months now and feelin' fantastic :D 

     

    @Joba No problem, hope it works out. There are so many systems to try for balancing time and effort, my problem is that I might change systems to fast (partly out of curiosity), but I guess the key is sticking to them for a longer time and really evaluating if they work.

    I also saw that Cam made a video of the time calculation mindset just some 1 ago, it was great that he mentioned the same thing in a video :).

    Hi EverydayArt, 

    In about a month (my year aniversary) i'll be posting the things i've accomplished and will touch on how I overcame this in more detail, but in short I just became more passionate about music and making real world connections instead of trying to mindless make them happen digitally :) 

  8. Hey GQF!,

    Just realized how long its been today, to be honest I actually forgot how long its been since I played. I still get cravings from time to time, but then simply choose a better option.

    Plans with time now: Getting a part-time job, so in about 5 months I will have an epic production computer for world domination Music and art... I'm genuinely excited and it gets me out of bed in the morning to go to work.

    :D !!!

    days.png

  9. Hi Joba!

    I am right into my second detox attempt. And I use lots of different tools to motivate myself to focus on certain activities and not others. So I thought maybe I could share one of the more simple ones (a simple calculation I made of compounding time that I wrote into a sentence) that really helps me understand how time adds up over the span of a life time. It might seem extreme maybe, but that is the point to reflect on life as a whole, and what can be done with it, taking myself out of those temporary urges to do something everyday that I maybe should not do. So here it is:

    "Just by not surfing randomly 1 hour a day I save over 18,000 hours in 50 years to do something else with."

    That is a lot of time! I reflect on the sentence and on how many skills I could master, or other things I could do instead, trying to find activities that give me benefit and pleasure both in the short and long run, just by changing what I do with one hour a day.

    Maybe cutting the chat room to 2-4 hours a week would be a good compromise (Sundays prehaps?), not denying yourself the activity that is rooted in a creative interest. And also not doing it too often so that you really enjoy it that one time a week. I am trying a similar scheme for podcasts on Sundays, trying to be overall more creative and active in other pursuits over the rest of the week.

    Also, as Cam talks about in his different videos and Respawn, you need to replace the habit with something else equally interesting or even better. Then you won't have time to miss those chat sessions as much.

    Hope the above made some sense :)

     

    Hey EverydayArt,

    Thanks for compromise suggestion! Calculating the time and seeing the big picture of how that time is spent is also an excellent suggestion. I was just watching one of Cam's videos and he suggested to host your own events which I'm anxious to start doing but also excited. I just hope it attracts the right sort of people. I admit i've been exhausted a fair amount lately trying to do to much in too little time. Which of course, once chat rooms stops I'll have more time haha. Thanks again!

     

    Hi Joba!

    I think I understand what you mean although I didn't replace gaming with chatrooming I sadly replaced gaming with randomly browsing the internet. But tomorrow if it's not raining I'm gonna go swimming. I think you should find an activity that you can do outside maybe go for a walk and think about why you replaced gaming with chatrooming and who knows maybe while going for a walk you may stumble upon an outdoor activity that you'd want to participate in.

    Hi Rusaw, 

    Yeah I agree, going outside is very rejuvenating. I've always enjoyed solo walks!

     

     

  10. Hello GQs!

    I'm still going on strong with no video games (Since March 13th.. i've stopped counting days now hah) but I find myself spending more time in chat rooms, talking about specific interests (audio production) but in the long run I don't think spending 2-4 hours a night is really benefiting me. I've tried cutting out the chat roomy stuff before then in two weeks I start to sort of miss them and then boom, back into chatrooms.

    Has anyone else gone or is going through this? What did you do to overcome this.

    Thanks in advance!

  11. Hi Jesusboy77,

    Joining the forum is a big step in moving forward. There are times where you will feel cravings but they do pass I assure you. I decided to stop playing games on March 13th 2016, and i'm still going it feels great. You feel so empowered not wasting your life away with digital distractions.

    It gets easier with every day that passes, and your will to stay away from them will help you.

    You mentioned you are learning Spanish, and I wanted to post this handy website whenever you feel like you're about to relapse, go here instead: https://www.duolingo.com/

    It lets you see measure of growth, in a fun way. I find it very helpful in learning dutch.

    And of course, all of us here are here to help :)

    Welcome aboard!

  12. xD

    What a high, What a high... I'd never thought i'd ever see 100 days of not video games. Going back to gaming seems so toxic now, like smoking cigarettes or hard drugs. 

    Things i've done in those 100 days:

    -Going to the gym consistently every 2 days, Read 2 books, socialized more, more inspired about life, introspection into my own psyche and self... and a lot more! :)

    if you're reading this and contemplating quitting, or even on the detox and having difficulties. Hang in there! the cravings do pass and its worth every moment

  13. Hey Fellow quitters! :) 

    I've been having cravings on and off for a while now... i'm on day 97. After the 90 day buzz has worn off, I started to think of things like "Well, that 90 days is over now... maybe I could play again.. " And just before I considered re-installing games "just to see"... I discovered this handy website.

    https://www.duolingo.com/

    Its a website for learning a second language, registration is really easy and simple, and best of all you get to see your measure of progress and growth. You can jump into it fairly quickly and start learning, right now I decided to learn dutch. So far De Krant is my favourite word to say outloud xD 

    Ahh.. its the little things

    • Like 1
  14. Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

    Hi Byrdmath, 

    Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

    And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

    http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

    First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

    And my psychedelic project can be found here:

    http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

    https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

    Much love!

     

    This is great.  Listening to all of it, now.   It's not predictable, you use a cool sound set.  This seems like it would be great to work to.  It's not run-of-the-mill either... definitely worth adding to my playlists.  

    Here's mine:  http://soundcloud.com/seth-actionmath - Warning, it's inspired by old video game music among other things, though not as nostaligic as it could be since i use emulators, and wave generators, and game music isn't the only element that informs the sound.  There's a combination of fully instrumented and mixed songs with vocals (just 2 of those), and little all-synth compositions done in FLstudio.  
     

    Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

    Hi Byrdmath, 

    Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

    And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

    http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

    First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

    And my psychedelic project can be found here:

    http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

    https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

    Much love!

     

    This is great.  Listening to all of it, now.   It's not predictable, you use a cool sound set.  This seems like it would be great to work to.  It's not run-of-the-mill either... definitely worth adding to my playlists.  

    Here's mine:  http://soundcloud.com/seth-actionmath - Warning, it's inspired by old video game music among other things, though not as nostaligic as it could be since i use emulators, and wave generators, and game music isn't the only element that informs the sound.  There's a combination of fully instrumented and mixed songs with vocals (just 2 of those), and little all-synth compositions done in FLstudio.  
     

    Thank you so much! :D  -  Your music is excellent! FL studio is a great daw, its awesome to see how far its come since FL5 lol - A particular VST I found recently is a 303 emulator called "venom 303" . you can visit their site here: http://antonsavov.net/cms/projects/venom-vb-303.html

     

     

  15. Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

    Hi Byrdmath, 

    Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

    And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

    http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

    First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

    And my psychedelic project can be found here:

    http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

    https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

    Much love!

     

  16. Hi Joba,

     

    I am so impressed you could explain all of that ! I am so ashamed that only two people know I have been gaming: my best friend and my current girlfriend. No one else.

    Anyway, congrats for your 86 days ! I completely failed my detox, trying again since 2 days, but I won't say more until I reach the end, makes no sense !

    For Cam who read this: even if I don't write much, am still (or "again" is a more accurate word) watching your videos and reading.

    Joba, concerning your passion vs mainstream work, I could share my experience (also in music) as I did it some years ago. Can not write more now as I need to sleep now (tomorrow is important day!) but will definitively do on Friday !

    Congrats again ! Wish I were where you are on your detox! 

    Hey Fanzio!,

    Thank you for reading my story and Thank you for your support! <3 - With any dependency eventually you just get to a point where enough is enough and its time to move on. Its hard to explain. Its like this fire in my bones that won't go out. No amount of distractions would ever satisfy it. So now i'm actively working at bringing that out into the outer world instead of my inner world :) 

    Day 89 tomorrow!  

×
×
  • Create New...