Dannigan

@Natasha, I deleted my response here but sent you a private message instead. (hugs) ~ Dani

This is written very well, @Natasha. It touched a nerve in me. You see, when my little niece would visit, she wanted to play with me. And you know what I did? I turned my back on her and said, 'Just gimme one more minute, sweetie. Just another minute.....I'll be right there!" She wobbled towards me, poked me at my side and softly asked, "What dat?" , pointing at the MMORPG I was playing. To this day, I replay that vision in my head every time I even think about returning to video gaming. The scene cuts into my soul, and I promised myself that I would NEVER EVER allow a video game to interfere with spending quality time with my loved ones. I can't tell you how many people DO this, without feeling any guilt at all because they are so absorbed into the game! It saddens me and infuriates me, and I can do NOTHING to help them. As @info-gatherer mentioned not long ago, "You have to be the example". There is a very good website for people whose family members are addicted to video games. http://www.olganon.org/home All you can really do is focus on being healthy yourself: body, mind, and spirit. Live a full life, be active in your community, friends, or politically. Do what you can to give your father the best example of what life can be like without video games. Another tip I read was to avoid enabling him. Which means, don't clean up after his room, don't serve him meals at his computer, don't grocery shop for him, or do laundry for him, etc. He has to face the consequences of addictive gaming. Thank you so much for writing about this in a creative way, from your tormented perspective. I like how you used the word 'horrific' to describe your father's behavior. It's a horrific tragedy. :(

@zeke365, Due to not having enough time to write a quality response, I just want to say briefly that I enjoy reading your journal. You have a good outline set-up and end the journal with what you're grateful for. You are also very astute in reflecting about your behavior, thoughts, and feelings. I see so much potential and am inspired. Also, wow....Days 221-224.....you're rocking this. : )

@sirjk, good on you for overcoming the temptation to game. :) Those are gorgeous pictures and video, btw. Thanks for sharing. Yup, whenever you get those urges to game, remind yourself of what you hated the most. I wonder if creating a long list of negative results of gaming would help? And make it super descriptive and horrible. Emphasize the HORRIBLE effects of video game addiction. Heck, even paste a picture of what you'd look like if you were gaming every single day until you reach age 40+. Describe what you'd look like and how you'd feel. And each time you feel like gaming, read over the list, then go for a long walk. Your walk seemed to clear your mind! : ) P.S. I forgot to add: write a list of all the POSITIVE rewards of abstaining from video games. Read over this list as you go for a walk.

Well done so far, Natasha! I look forward to reading your journal. I'm inspired by what you've done so far to eradicate video gaming from your family's life. Welcome to a new and bolder way of living!

:) You survived the panic attack, and you gained a support system. You actually over came something that most people would just run from. Fight/flight/freeze mode is what happens when anxiety overcomes us. But 'you' persevered through the attack because you didn't run away from the situation. You stayed and talked it out. That is something to be proud of. In my past, I suffered from panic attacks during university, especially when I had to make a presentation in front of the class. My first panic attack, I sounded like I was having a stroke. My words were incoherent, and I was saying things that I couldn't even understand. Heart raced, hands clenched and sweaty, I couldn't even focus my eyes on anything. Many years later, after some therapy and real life practice, I am now comfortable with public speaking as that is a part of my current job. It sounds like your peers meant very well, and were supportive and compassionate. When we show others our vulnerable sides, it forms a bond, because people can relate to pain, shame, embarrassment, and feeling...well...vulnerable. For your sake, I am glad this anxiety attack happened in front of people. This is one of those moments wherein you see a cross-road before you, left or right? Left = not learning from it. Right = gratefulness, self-growth, healing. Thanks for sharing

Embrace the 'nerd' in you, Pierce. Nerdiness is the new hip and you've got plenty of character. : ) Joining a writing club sounds fascinating and something that you'd look forward to, because of its creative focus and the social aspects. Hipster nerd ---- > very cool. Is it a full moon? This is the fourth journal I have read wherein people are struggling 'today'. I don't mean to make light of how you're feeling, by the way. Overall, you're moving forward in your studies, and maybe remind yourself of that sometimes. : ) I am not sure if you are referring to video games again, so instead I will make a general statement. Vent as much as you need to. Let it out. Doesn't have to be in this journal. We're fallible creatures. All of us. You feel hopeless right now, and maybe you just need to feel that emotion for a while. It's going to pass. Also, I know that your school is keeping you busy. It just seems like every minute of your day is school-focused, and I don't blame you for wanting to vent out the stress somehow. What you're feeling now may also be a manifestation of external stress. You are not a failure at all. You are just immersed in a climate that demands so much of your attention and time. This may be clouding your judgement of yourself too. : )

@JoshD It's wise of your therapist to give you responsibility to make your own decision. But from an outsider's point of view, I must assert my position about this. If I were you, I'd sell them, basically for the same reasons you already wrote. If it's harder for you to make this decision, I'd find some quiet time, sit down at your desk, and write down the pros and cons of keeping gaming consoles around you, while you are going through a 90 day detox AND attending school for massage therapy. I'd be curious to see that list, by the way.......lol, although nothing would change my decision.

I highlighted a few sentences that you wrote. It's a mixture of justification, and resentment for having to cut off this 'fun' and 'relaxing' hobby. What about changing the way you look at it? eg. Quitting video games and youtube will allow me to < insert multiple gains here> Focus on what you will gain from this detox, versus the belief that you are missing out on 'the addiction'.

Ok. Cam, I never thought I'd EVER see you start a 90 Day journal for anything at all. But coffee? Well, tea is a fine substitute. If you do not like too much caffeine, I'd try the herbals and also rooibos (red tea, caffeine free, great with cinnamon). Best of luck!

* big cheer * Wow. What a powerful start to your first journal entry! You've got this! And this time, the results will be different. Nice job on listing personal rules so that you remain accountable for your actions, and also the reward system that you'll use. Interesting, a reward after 90 days detox! Hey that's a very good idea...... Have a safe and peaceful vacation. I'm looking forward to reading your journal in the near future! ~ Dani

@FireRanger You're doing well for a fresh start. : ) I hope you'll find journal writing to be a benefit to you in the long-run. Personally, it's been a great help for me. I can look back and read what stage I was in when I started the 90 day detox, and compare it with how I'm doing now. Take care, and I'm glad you are here.

Props to you for cleaning the house and your room. Yeah, sleep schedules are tough. Make sure you have a definitive reward waiting for you when you wake up at 9:00 a.m. For me, it's my morning coffee at 5:15 a.m. I set up my coffee maker before bed, with the coffee grounds in it, a bit of salt, water filled, and a coffee mug. I drink bullet-proof coffee which consists of: whipped cream in my coffee, in addition to coconut oil, Stevia drops Vanilla flavor. Presto! A great drink to give you energy and also healthy. And make sure that you go to sleep at exactly the same time each day. Cue ---> Routine ----> Reward (eg. hot coffee waiting for you in the morning at 9:00 a.m.) Rewards are very important to keep habit in check. : ) GOod luck to ya!

I totally get what you mean. I hear ya. It's rather discouraging. I think your estimation looks reasonable = 2.5% that use this forum. And yeah, perhaps people gravitate to other helpful websites or even Discord channels. I have no clue. Here's my personal opinion: 1) People try out this site, but don't stick to writing a journal, or do not buddy-up with somebody. Therefore, they fall to the way-side and we never see them again. 2) People who have completed their 90 Day detox, no longer need to use this forum. Therefore, they drop off and hopefully are living a life without addiction to games. 3) People who are addicted to games, have no idea about websites like this. IMHO, I think that other demographics besides young men/women in their 20's, could be outreached. Eg. schools, particularly junior and up to senior high school. 4) I wish there was some sort of follow-up questionnaire for former and current users of Game Quitters. Eg. Question 1: How has Game Quitters helped you? Rate it from 1 to 10. Question 2: How long have you used the website? a) less than 3 months, b) over three months c) more than a year Question 3: How long have you been addiction free from video games? Question 4: How could the website improve to serve you and others better? 5) People just don't like using this website, for their own personal reason. My mind is going blank....very tired at the moment. But I think you raised very good points. Some addicts are in denial or don't acknowledge they are addicts. What I have done, is I kept my member status open on my former's Guild's discord channel. Beside my name = "Playing absolutely nothing". And if a person clicks on my profile, it has www.gamequitters.com attached. It's my way to spread the word in case people start to gain insight about their addiction. I might even write a note in the Discord Channel text chat describing GQ or other helpful websites. All of my former gaming friends play 5-10+ hours a day on average. I want to help them, but I cannot lead a horse to water that does not want to drink from the trough. Over and out, ~Dani

Thanks Natasha, completely my misinterpretation, apologies. And...welcome to the forum. : )

You brought up a very good topic that I will discuss later on. I have some personal non-factual opinions. I'm at dragon boat practice at the moment and will respond later thus evening. Thanks for bringing this up. Too few of us on this website....a bit discouraging. :(

@Regular Robert I am blown away by your journal. To say the least. I have not finished reading all of it, but from what I've read so far, I can relate so much to what you went through in the beginning. I hope others read what you have contributed. And I wanted to say THANK YOU for all you've done to assist others here, and also with the changes you've done to enhance Game Quitters website. Thank you. Sincerely, ~ Dani

Hey there @stablish, How are you doing? I hope you don't mind if I check in on ya? Be well, ~ Dani

@Pierce University is a ripe place to socialize and date. I met my second boyfriend at university, and the relationship lasted even past our graduation, until we parted ways as friends. Go out there, and test out the waters. Just be direct when you approach girls. If there's a pool table, invite them over to play. That always breaks the ice. : ) As for the bar scene, it is what it is....a place to meet people and hang out. Be yourself, and have fun no matter what the outcome. : ) It's smart to bring a friend along. Everyone needs that kind of support especially in this situation! At least you'll have a buddy to hang out with, as you mentioned. Your post inspired me to write something similar in my own journal. I'm much older than you, so I have a very different outlook. Still, it's about time we push ourselves to get out of our comfort zones, when it comes to dating and meeting people. I have to work on my courage to do so. So, thank you for this!

Heya friend, I'm really glad you're here and alive. You did something productive to distract you from anxiety. You went to a friend for support. You were able to resist playing video games. : ) I think you won a few battles today, @TheCrystalLake.

Thank God for your girlfriend @info-gatherer. You are very lucky to have someone that supportive. Needless to say, you got your sh!t together, and went out. Vaping.....ok, I've heard of that as a replacement for smoking. You can use different flavors too, if I remember correctly. I hope that will work well for you. Yeah it's definitely a lot less hazardous than cigarette smoking. The only bad thing I heard about vaping was that when the container heats up, crappy vapes leak lead. So, just research which ones are less faulty. I envy you.....Paris? To study there? >< That is a dream vacation for me. : )

A white cloud with a silver lining. : ) That's a nice thing to hear. Especially in the ER! Things can get pretty grim very fast in the Emergency unit. I think you've got a good way to insert physical exercise into your daily regime, considering that you're working and also studying. Have fun tomorrow! Friday!!!!!

Welcome Fireranger! Your story is very touching. It's healthy that you joined this community for detox support. You will only gain from this experience and be among people who understand. Take care and I'm looking forward to reading your journal.

I read this during lunch break at work and it literally brought a smile to myself. Simply because you sound as if you've broken out of a cage, @Regular Robert. *big smile* I am very happy for you! Let me tell you something, when I see a person smile and I know it's genuine, it is because when they smile their emotion also shows up in their eyes. The eyes and the smile go hand in hand, together. And it's not something you can force yourself to do. But that is my general observation about smiling. Also, when I was going through a rough time in my life, I'd have a scowl on my face walking around, and I know that it changed the way people treated me, whether that be in a clothing store, grocery market, bank, school, work, etc. Upon reflection, facial expressions can have a profound effect on how people will receive you, and consequently treat you. With great embarrassment, I do admit to practicing how to smile, a few years ago. I wasn't accustomed to it. So, it's a work in progress. I think that I've adopted a slight smile that doesn't look so forced and dopey. Is it a mask? Somewhat. I think I practice this because I really don't want to scare off people too. I want to appear approachable, and I've noticed it has worked 80% of the time. One day, I'll take your advice to smile when I 'feel' like smiling. Thank you so much for this thoughtful post. I admire the title in Red/Green colors as well. Very well done, and the topic really stands out! ~ Dani

@Oak lee, I really enjoyed reading your last post in the journal. I am so sorry about your mom's passing last July. It seems as if you are moving forward into a different chapter in your life. It sounds like your mother meant a lot to you, and I loved reading about how she would have been delighted to see the bird's nest in her bathroom. : ) It sounds like she was a warm and caring person. You're right, life always finds its way, even in a deserted house. You have much work to do. Maybe the motor fuel spilling over was meant to be....it has kept you busy, and away from relentless gaming. : ) I love the pictures.