voidedhalestorms

OK thank you sir.

I always was a PC gamer, too. Fortunately our router cannot handle online gaming. And getting a new router and configuring it through the ISP would involve a lot of work so I am safe there.

Had a fierce desire to open my switch back up and load paladins. Damn, this shit is like crack. I would probably play a few games then get disgusted and end it again. But knowing this forum is here is helpful. Knowing that I have been more productive and made better connections with people in this short time is also helpful. It's kind of like alcohol with me. Yea I can game a little and maintain my life. But I lose my higher drive to excel and do things that actually really matter. I drink a lot and never miss work and stuff but my energy is low and I stay obsessed with stupid shit like internet porn and games. It used to be I could only enjoy games if I drank because it made stupid repetitive stuff seem entertaining. Then when I started gaming hard sober I became obsessed with ranking up. But no matter how good I did it was not really satisfying. And when I did poorly it was extremely frustrating. A lose lose situation, basically. I watched a little TV show or three. But no games. Hard not to want to watch the new Rick and Morty. And do a lot of writing. Writing is where the true satisfaction seems to come for me.

You get razor bumps? I stopped getting those after I switched to a safety razor and brush and realized the neck is shaved up not down. Also use a lot of a product called "high times bump stopper" sometimes Walmart has it nothing else works. Nowadays I only use a clippers and have a rugged look. Anyway as to eye gazing when I was younger I didn't really do it. Don't use that nose trick. Just pick an eye and look at it. It is easier with some people than others. Some people naturally enjoy it and others get a little ansy. It is especially important in professional settings and with women. Not making strong eye contact is a sign of submissiveness. Women won't be attracted to it and bosses won't see you as strong. One trick I used to use is to at least make eye contact long enough to notice what color their eyes are. That one is kind of fun. You don't want to overdo it anyway. Sometimes I do. If you are talking about deep and thoughtful subjects it is difficult to maintain eye contact and think. The only way to get over it is to just start doing it. It is fun. The eye color trick can be really helpful. People sometimes have very interesting eyes and if you are like me you will find yourself making eye contact with a smiling stranger every so often and it is a quite pleasant experience.

Cool thanks. Yea I am on a pretty hard nofap/semen retention streak as well. I packaged the switch so it is off limits now. Back to audio books and ebooks.

I think it just is a lot harder to find a good book. Recently I have discovered some books in the wuxia/cultivation genre and they did it for me until I ran out. Even a shitty game will stimulate you whereas with a book it needs to be engaging.

horror/comedy/sci fi called John Dies at the End. One of the best series I have ever read. Under the pen name "David Wong."

Do you find it necessary to get rid of tv series and movies as well as games? I love to read and listen to audios it doesn't do the same thing. It takes more effort, though.

I've always hated gaming dreams. Somehow they are even more frustrating than work dreams.

I love looking people in the eyes. Unless they are being defensive/threatening. Then it is less fun. It started over a decade ago when I took a training course and the teacher had us sit with a stranger and stair directly into their eyes while doing a breathing technique. The discomfort is really an illusion.

I keep quitting and restarting. It's this damn paladins game. I just boxed up my switch and told me daughter I'm sending it to her as a gift. It is either that or I think I will wind up smashing it. Is it normal to relapse repeatedly? To question your dedication? To need to get rid of temptation? Soon I am going to be working nonstop and it won't matter as much. But then I was thinking if I am working nonstop than any free time I have is extra precious making even a little bit of gaming ten times worst.