Amphibian220

Welcome to game quitters, Hope you get the best out of the respawn program. Can you write about the situations where you were prevented from relapsing? Try to remember times when you were going for a relapse, like you knew that at a particular place and time you were going to do it, but something happened and this enjoyment of playing a game or wasting time no longer mattered to you.

Week 4. Couldn’t concentrate in my basketball training, but got into it towards the end. Revision complete, but Im still behind in my schedule Failures: Occasionally dreamt of strategy video games. Have not looked at university clubs yet.

Yes much better thank you. I find that it is important to choose your words carefully in a confrontation and me staying quiet about it was the better choice because the conflict was not worth it. Contests with people who have no influence over you are lost battles from the start and its the child’s mentality to try to win them. Somebody venting may hurt a bit , but the pain will go down when my therapy and effort starts to bring profit and I become stronger. Jocko Willink kept a straight face while he was getting berated and took humiliation countless times. At least that was motivation for him to get better. The pain is symptomatic of me being shielded from life for too long. Being lazy and not wanting to work more on communication, health, other aspects.

You are doing root cause analysis right now. Gamers are low maintenance people. Fantasies are cooler than living and fighting for you family. you have to open up about the problem to yourself, and get to the essence of it because only then will you discover underlying issues and what you want to do in life before your potential is wasted. Have you ever thought that vain talk, attention grabbing devices, anti social media, entertainment are morale killers. Your community can be taken out while you are watching your favorite shows. I remember from school that Caesar of the Roman Empire used gladiator battles for common folk to watch violence and get free food. These venues diverted their minds away from many pressing problems such as poor living conditions. The coliseum has become the mobile phone. I spent YEARS without playing games but remained stagnant. Because This is what entertainment programmed: 1. Stay lazy, 2. stay complicit, 3. don't contest your rights 4. any job will do. I started fighting and struggling to belong to a group about a meaningful goal. The moment it gets riskier and I have a moment of breakthrough, my body goes : No! demanding things is scary, Im stressed, Lets watch some news! Hold my ground long enough, and I start getting accustomed to meaningful conflicts. I am a high maintenance person. The value I give to people has meaning for their Health and well being and the resources I use are far greater than an unaware person would expect. Because low maintenance people will not create pressure enough to depart from the loser mindset. Edit: Check “how to deal with cravings” thread

In one of your first posts you have stated that you want to be confident and interesting to people. Can you state if you have achieved progress in that regard as a result of your work? I struggle with initiative, entering conflicts and detecting my real emotions and expressing them in an easy to understand manner. I wonder what are the barriers to becoming more confident. Perhaps being honest myself

Welcome back, Have you got a support group in real life, like your family or a therapy group to whom you can open up about the problem? That would help with accountability and solving issues.

Like those fiction books that were published in the 1980s or the 90s and then twenty years down the line people noticed their worth and they became bestsellers. If that book is fun to read it will have better RoE than all the boilerplate time wasting video games.

Week 2 Cannot memorize well because of my work interfering with my exam revision. I have to take time off to make sure I pass these exams. I have not attended basketball for the past week because of all the work assignments. Hope to win this week three.

Welcome to game quitters, consider it your virtual proving grounds, your ticket to life. From my experience, there is an inherent weakness in this platform: there is nobody there to enforce your discipline except yourself. Nobody to punish you except yourself if you lie or cheat. This website is only going to work for you if you practice self accountability, and complement journaling with support in real life like therapy, safe people whom you can trust and open up about your problems. What this website does offer is valuable information about yours and other people’s mistakes. When you read journals you can see why other people have failed, what worked for them and what did not work. You can get support on here that will help you change your life. Just like top universities can be pointless if you don't take advantage of the benefits offered, a website like this is going to be pointless if you don’t systematically approach recovery and make good use of it. If you have been addicted to P for 10 years, that means you have been addicted from a very young age. That particular society where you grew up had failed in protecting you. You have got motivation there of changing it for the better and destroying this sucker meta physically. The rest of the recovery process will come easier. In a short introduction, men are becoming emasculated from repressing their qualities of strength, bravery, initiative, dominance. Since weak, cowardly, indecisive, loser is becoming more widespread, it is very hard to have success. wish you a good pace of recovery, and never feel weak to confront dishonesty.

Are you part of a real life group of men with a practical goal (reclaiming masculinity, charitable initiatives, therapy etc) - a place where commitment is required? Not online, but regular meetings in person. I am asking because following goals as part of a group is much safer than alone. The cynical side of a gamer can start thinking that these goals are not worth going after, but its the group that can urge him to continue his effort.

Welcome to Game Quitters, Have you got male friends with whom you meet up on a regular basis?

Confusing day. I missed my basketball workout and couldn't concentrate at work most likely because of that. I am planning to lengthen my workouts to 1.5 hours instead of 1 hour. I will get to see how much I can keep going in an intense cardio workout.

Any recovery program is going to work if you are ready to work it and you are worth it. Some people embark on therapy and over time decide: “actually, I like the existence with distractions, fighting for a meaningful life is risky”. I think, don’t fear it, you are well worth it. At times it appears that all these skills you are mastering seem to have no effect, but they are going to have effect. Your emotions will awaken and interest your people in you. You will develop good traits of character. Life is a stage, if you dont bring the best of your acting to it, you will be thrown out. Since I am new to negotiations with people, scripting my goals and potential outcomes and monitoring my presentation works well in quickly fixing some of the mistakes.

i’ve learned something about a weakness of mine! I just feel very excited, but Im going to see how the second week goes.

One week complete with no distractions but with some day dreaming when it got boring. I haven’t avoided anything at work so far which is good. I have not done an entire day without sleep this first week. I read two books instead of social media this week. I have made some changes to my basketball training routine to improve lay ups. I need to feel more relaxed in the game. I get too tense and nervous at the moment.

Just sequence different types of work correctly and your energy will get replenished within that cycle of work, but eventually you need to sit down and take attention somewhere else. Telephone calls - 1 hour (enjoy communicating); Analyzing documents and writing reports - 1.5 hours; Exercise followed by lunch - 1.5 hours Analyzing documents and writing reports - 1.5 hours Setting up a prank on my manager - 20 minutes (make sure not to get myself fired) Analyzing documents and writing reports - 1 hour Writing a chronology of today’s work- that will help me to remember where I stopped and get my bearings right on the next day without wasting effort on remembering things.

Hell's week Day 1 - List of Habits I made a list of all of my habits both good and bad. I crossed out the bad ones (taking into account what they are serving) and replaced them with healthier alternatives. I also wrote down a question for myself "What main event am I anticipating today?" Day 2 - Awareness I will be asking myself the right questions throughout the day. How well do I know the different tasks at my job? How could I improve on them? How do I address my empoyer? Am I clear and succinct, positive in my attitude? How do I respond to my employer? Do I take initiative in solving problems? Day 3 - Time Management We cannot see the big picture, cannot see what lies immediately ahead and get bogged down in mistakes. We realize that we have lost control over the situation and mistakes begin to multiply in a non linear ratio. What to do? The army people would say "You have to stop". Where am I going? To stop doing what I was doing in the past is not easy, but it is worth it. Stop all the activities and assess the situation from a bird's eye view. Review the daily goals that you set yourself. Categorize, structure information and enter it into a diary. The aim with this is to have forward projection and this will give clarity to move forward at a healthy pace without getting bogged down anymore. Day 4 - Out of the comfort zone No sleep this day. Start at 5 AM Thursday and go until 5 AM Friday. After this day you will realize that you have much more strength than you thought before. At the end of this day you will conquer your main fear. Day 5 - Rest and Recovery People have forgotten how to rest. We are strained all the time. We dont permit ourselves to rest even one day. And video games are not a way of resting. Plan friday so that you can do 3-4 things of which you have thought for a long time. Feel in charge. Day 6 - Create a positive dialogue with self Day 7 - Reflect how your life has changed and what you have learned.

I try to stay in the fight by scripting my days, tracking my needs, modifying my goals. Contingency plans are essential. Remember that it is a deception that you cannot do something. You can enter with a limited participation level and slowly build it up. Pay attention to how lay people behave who join the army. If given to their own will, they ask if they can delay performing an order or do it in their own way. This deception is quickly rooted out with good commanders who want to see discipline. With elite forces training this is driven to extreme. You see the inner core of people with nice guy shells falling apart. People are put into so much stress, their survival mechanisms and reserve strength finally activate. One successful member once said in an interview that the way he survived Hell’s week was just by looking at the present day and not giving a shit about what follows tomorrow. It was so grueling, his body complained a lot to him but still accepted his orders. There was a good explanation (the WHY) and because of this good explanation he didn’t abort this mission or start feeling sorry for himself. In the morning he would wake up very sore with reserve power activated. The self pity scripts were disabled for him. So please flesh out your goal in greater detail with some intuition and help from safe people, you may just be able to get the right balance then. At times I can only notice a need that requires work by writing in a physical diary. Tiredness is to be expected in the beginning, remember entertainment media is a powerful energy sucker.

Day 1 of no social networks. I cant lock into a task and complete it without getting distracted. I get distracted with social networks still. This is mini procrastination, throughout the day it amounts to a lot of wasted time. if I force myself to stay on the task, work speed goes down to a crawl. At times I fall asleep. If the work is too hard for me to do, I should look for other type of work that will better suit my character, interests, and skill acquisition. Any time the pull for systemic distractions or snacking arises, it is telling me I haven’t set up my environment right and am not tackling my needs right.

@LostRiver if i ground myself and face the issues I may quickly come to a resolution on a pressing issue. Blocking emotions with daydreaming, music or films, delays taking a decision. Another issue is that no decision in the present moment may be available like you described in your example with loud co workers. You just accept the situation and move on. If low mental energy is addressed by distractions, it develops into a pattern and productivity falls. Regular sport is a way to increase energy, but filling your day with multiple self care activities (at least managing clothing, hygiene, exercise, education) is more likely to keep you grounded. If hygiene, education, clothing is sacrificed at the expense of work, morale starts to fall.

It is not only entertainment that consumes people, but work too. People have to disengage from too much of one thing and serve their needs during the day. You are not a cog of the society as much as it would want you to become so. So it is essentail we disconnect, even risk losing a job to have the life mission we want. The uncertainty of these actions can be used to advantage. Some people think uncertainty is bad, I think a degree of uncertainty helps in becoming strong because you start trusting yourself.

Did you hear about the idea that you are too a leader? As a man, you are a leader that works on his internal affairs, communicates and helps the family, the community etc. Now if you are approaching it as the leader, you learn to take ownership of failures, stay silent about your affairs to outsiders because it is so easy to get disrupted. You start approaching things such as business opportunities like a real hunter. Whenever I remind myself I am the leader of my affairs, this curiosity about the "big events in the world" starts to pass. How about trying something that you thought you were not capable off. Way to make your own life interesting and to find brothers. So be a leader man.

that layer of sweat that covers you completely head to toes. Yes, thats a sweat a boxing session gives. It also means you’re going to get healthy sleep that day. Explosive workouts are essential to be healthy.

Having read your goals, i want to share my thoughts. When you had started becoming more responsible, did you feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar at first acting with initiative and power? If we take a scale from very shy to over confident, where is the right point? I hear that when it counts, exert maximum pressure on your counterpart. If you demand of yourself the most rewarding job (applying yourself in the best possible way) you will be more willing to risk, to resign from a position, to create a conflict and excitement in the interview room Similarly, the social, economic and political catastrophes cannot be averted because actors are too stuck in their short term personal interests to be of any value to their organizations and communities. Nice guys don't like to plan and hate acknowledging they have responsibilities. So when you do act with initiative and power and say things that you have to say, it feels very odd. People can’t take you seriously because making decisions is out of the current trend. Being the victim of a layoff, unhealthy environment, dysfunctional organization is IN the current trend. People look at you with disbelief when you start showing responsibility for your own welfare.

Robert Glover writes a great deal in the later chapters of the book about solving problems in intimacy. He advised one of his patients to go on a 6 month moratorium. This moratorium coupled with a very healthy environment rebuilt the patient’s health to maximum potential. Moratorium means totally diverting attention away from intimacy (even not thinking about it) to many other things. In fact being involved with an exciting sport, totally expends all energy in the right kind of way and facilitates the moratorium. I see that men are supposed to give short attention to intimacy to stay healthy, but tv and internet create harmful habits.