Amphibian220

you alright? How long since you put your hockey gear on and imagined playing a real match as you skate about and take shots against a wall?

The way you put it is like you are very much after recognition from peers. But this recognition really is within yourself and the way that you serve your community. I will quote a long time member on this forum: “the gamer is bound to repeat his mistake many times over. Because he slaved away at building success in a video game, he thinks he has to slave away to please peers and earn their recognition, then he has to slave away for his fiancee, which is a sure fire way to destroy your relationships. Trying to please will push people away, being a master of your time will attract the handful of relationships that will be of benefit to you.

A few months back you commented that certain colleagues at your work were relaxed about not hitting targets at work. Were these particular workers relegated to lower level positions etc? When this sort of thing happens like you have described, it is hard to withstand old patterns of behavior for coping with tiredness and stress. It tells me that new coping habits have to be much better developed. They have to be ingrained and easily accessible when something gets you down. i think from your posts, the worrying about work actually takes away some energy before you even start. Is it just the nature of the work that it puts a lot of pressure on you or could you find a way to do it in a more time efficient way so to say?

You said “my work ethic is too much” Do you mean by this persisting on doing something even when you are extremely tired?

Hello Daniel, welcome to this great forum. Can you describe yourself and what you would like to achieve in life? How do your close ones (family and friends) perceive you? What strengths and weaknesses have you identified? What goals have you set yourself to get to a point where you can achieve your great aim?

Hope these symptoms subside soon. Could you have done too much exercise? I once did a lot of push ups and muscle stretching under the supervision of my fitness coach without checking myself. I remember that I overheated and drank water way too late. I just wanted to impress the guy. Upon returning home, I tried to sleep, but I was waking up with intense pains in my stomach, nausea and this general fatigue that made it very hard to get off the bed. It took a good day for this to pass.

“we are not talking about a man that is more feminine than an average woman, we are talking about a real man. A real man is a person who is willing to sacrifice, to take risks, go on adventure, step over the limits that he has been used to. He aims to climb the highest peak, to enter territory unknown to him etc. because through his work, plans which are NOT grounded in simple consumerist terms (comfort, physical wants) are realized.” i heard this today from one public speaker. This statement is a good mirror to look into . Your realizations are important for your recovery and I hope you are closing in on a qualitative improvement in your character. Cam Adair’s vlogs are good to rewatch because recovery is something that requires a more active approach than autopilot in my opinion. i haven’t watched them for months.

Do you think that listening to political views can get you agitated, even angry? I try to stay away from the news and political views because they always touch on these contentious issues that are bound to get me emotional. Great to see that you have a good activity instead of gaming. Have you reduced non-essential internet use over the previous month?

@Dirac, your attitude towards gaming is not definite from your post. You are “on the fence” so to say. I totally agree with Ceponatia’s statement, focusing on staying away from something will create a bigger issue of this “forbidden fruit”. Rather, focus on the new thing that you would love to have and it requires effort and commitment. I don’t understand why you cannot do sport everyday, you can channel all your free time towards it. A couple of months back my SO took a picture of me on her smart phone and said “Look how much you are stooping, like an old man” Up until then, my workout was a boring thing that didn’t stir up many feelings in me. That picture angered me. I got onto youtube and watches the first video on fixing my back. The guy there had a build that typically got me to think “Yeah there are guys who look amazing” only this time I was thinking “ I want it like that and I will work everyday for it” I now do 2 reps of 15 pullups on the tourniquet and 2 reps of 15 on double parallel bars, plus other stuff. I look better, but there is a lot to do still. Whenever I’m doing work, Im thinking of a way to get out to that workout area near my home, I constantly think about it. My progression got one person self conscious when he noticed the change in my shoulders. I don’t have to battle desires cause I totally give in to my desires to work out. Sometimes it is scary cause I get hurt, but I have a doctor to support me.

Dirac, welcome back. I was reading your entries a few months back. I want to ask you, what was the reason to start gaming a little from not gaming at all? Can you remember the internal dialogue and emotions that settled this decision? I hope you will take away an important lesson from this setback and experience a great comeback. Edit: Have you found a competitive sport that can act as a replacement? Competitive sport can be an escape, a means to socialize, progress, challenge and feel good about yourself. I’m currently working on my back and my exercise routine has gotten many time better.

RB1, report in. What have you done with your time? Have you been proactive and pushed yourself to do what you have been putting off, even if it appears hard to do? Have you made simple practical action plans for each day and followed through on them?

Great stuff! Can you break down your exercise for me and what you do to keep yourself excited with it? Are you improving your accuracy in hockey? I loved taking long range shots when I used to play it.

“Pistols are the hardest to shoot” was what my shooting instructor said to me when he handed the beautiful Glock. That is because they are too short and don’t let you stabilize them like you can do a rifle. I remember missing targets at 20 metres range. I only fired a glock pistol so I don’t know how the rifle is different.

Welcome to the forum, hope this website will change your life for the better. what new activities are you going to substitute that have the elements of socializing, escapism, challenge and sense of progression?. Usually the moment you find something really fitting those categories , all the pressure and anxiety goes away. Edit: i don’t see it as “day 1” after relapsing. I see it (in your case) as 4 days not gaming followed by a realization on day 5 that requires an action plan.

I hope you have identified activities that activate your self-healing mechanisms. There are these things with each person that give him/her peace of mind that allows the body to do the work. Wish you a speedy recovery and maybe the need for therapy will go away so you will have less than planned.

Ikar, its interesting that you mention talking to people a lot. I find it hard to find a reason/agenda to talk to people, only when I’ve got work matters or other practical issues that require communication. Even in settings when I do need to talk, I’m self conscious but a lot more confident because I accepted that disagreements and arguments are a necessary part of life. Do you create these opportunities through attending various venues posted by your university? Can you tell me what the gun test is like? Is it to test your psychology/character to see that you are safe to own a weapon?

@BooksandTrees There is no point in worrying over the things you mentioned. This undermines you more than it would have otherwise. Put simply, If you have a flat tyre and near empty gas tank and see a repair service on the road, are you going to regret a lot that you didn’t carry on driving for hundreds of miles, but stopped to fix your car? Absolute zero factor. Your regretting and fears are unwarranted, you need to recover and come back strong, I’m sure employment law protects workers with health issues in your country, you can search regulations on the web.

RB1, you are watching gaming content to cope with stress? Is it school work that is causing it or something else? So many important realizations in your posts in such a time frame. (1)You have noticed that you need to channel your energy correctly- sports, socializing, resting, working. (2) Your work ethic and passion returns to life when the games are stopped. This awakens direction and purpose. (3) Workout and healthy eating is already a challenge and confidence booster for you. plus (Alexander’s legacy): once you put one thing right, you are armed to solve others right. Focusing on resolving one shortcoming unlocks the approach to get all of them right. Here I want to say I improved my health significantly through trial and error approach. But, with social interactions I am starting to do the following monitoring: I record my conversations on the phone and practice in front of a mirror- Called an employer and spoke to him using a pre planned script. Immediate effect: the guy didn’t want to cut the conversation with me. We even got to discussing salary. All this because I wasn’t pausing mid sentence, but speaking loudly, clearly, succinctly and more confidently. I can only do this using a script, so I should create some modules and memorize them.

@BooksandTrees , you feel anxiety over the fact that you want to achieve so much and it appears that time and energy is insufficient ? What if powering down is actually the key to gaining clarity and wisdom necessary to scoring a victory? Counter-intuitive? I’ve been in a few boxing matches. The first boxing match I lost cause I threw too many shots in the first round that didn’t connect. I don’t know how many times I missed. The kid was cool and was just letting me do the work. When the first round ended, I felt light headed and only found out from my corner that I am out of breath. Coach: You are out of breath, look you are choking. I want you to slow down and close the distance with him. Then exchange some punches with him. You are bigger than him, you only need to exchange some punches... One more thing, I read a UK article about people diagnosed with IBS and stomach ulcers and it touched on this issue. Many UK business people develop problems from nerves and stress- they are so worried about failing. The article then said- it isn’t worth starting a business if the price for it will be your health. This rushing feeling and fear of failure drain the energy and health at an astonishing rate. this is what I believe , study smooth operators in films or books. Its interesting how they develop a wise dialogue within that allows them to conserve energy and go a long distance. Did you hear that legendary athletes (some great Americans) made comebacks years after being out of sport? What if you aren’t out of time?

I wish that your condition improves today and in the days to come and that you will have a fighting spirit. May the strength come to you from where you don’t expect. May God be with you.

How inspiring @RB1, you get into fighting mode when under some pressure. I hope that you incorporate this into your life and increase pressure on yourself proactively in order to keep your focus good (like doing more workouts, fixing things in the home or business etc.). The moment there is too little to do in the day, you seem to waiver. I think this holds true with nearly all ex-gamers. I’ll remember you as a member that cracked me up and had me laughing for a good minute. You amputated the enemy’s arm!

if you find and say something that is closer to the truth, you are at odds with your tribe. If you have the vision and strong enough character to bring forward meaningful change for the better you are at war with self and your peers. But closer to the point that matters-Even honesty with self requires us to go through stages of recovery that will not be pleasant to us (the struggle within). Applied research allows us to discover things about solutions to our problems that we could have never done without it so I absolutely agree about researching. Research is there, but many people discover the bad effects of video gaming first hand, rather than get a warning in a research paper. Video game companies have sponsored research that video games have beneficial effects on the health.

@RB1, great realization that video games drain that energy and passion for productive activities. Don’t get overly upset, I want to share a post that was a combination of input from different members on this forum: “There are two types of relapse. The first type is still very attached to his former self and feels overly proud about not gaming. This is why when he relapses, there is the unhealthy reaction. He thinks he “lost” the streak and exaggerates the failure, but he cannot see the big picture. Because he feels defeatist, he goes on a gaming binge and feels much worse. “I might as well just game the entire weekend since I played one game” The second type knows the complexity of it. He starts attaching to new activities. He is estranging himself from the old habit. He is learning much faster. Just maybe there can be that negligible relapse after which he is happily disillusioned- he doesn’t want games anymore. He is still cautious and on the lookout. But no relapse will have this self-fulfilling acceptance of defeat.”

RB1, do you visualize the things you want to achieve? Is there a good clarity and justification (the why) - because if there isn’t your “soldiers” aren’t going to take the task seriously. It has to make sense. At the moment your soldiers sort of know that video games are bad, but are still questioning the order. Do you visualize conversations with people, what you are going to say, the tone, what impression you leave on people, what actions you take? This will take you a long way in understanding how to achieve the greater goals that appear elusive. I’m writing this because a good sense of direction stops you from having mixed feelings. It unlocks “the how” to do it. Time starts to get scarce immediately- there is only enough of it to do all the healthy activities. I don’t have that level of clarity at the moment, but I’ll share to what lengths I went to. I couldn’t get employed some time ago, so I literally went to a local transportation hub dressed in a suit and approached strangers with a prospective offer. I had to step on all the annoying emotions of pride, laziness, self-doubt to get into some interesting conversations and see that my concept can work. I still didn’t get employed but I just need to step on that pedal more. Edit: I think you should go cold turkey on TV because research has shown long ago watching a lot of tv is bad for the mental state (even more so for a video gamer who is volatile) Let sport be your video game. PS. I missed my fitness challenge today cause of my stomach pains but I will attack it tomorrow

@RB1 I cannot say honestly. The last time I got knocked out was from this. I was looking to buy new shoes, but my shop only had a model with very thick soles. The shoes were very “high” and uncomfortable. I never skated in that type of shoes before. All my old models were kind of the same and never threw up surprises. I still bought this model and went to skate in the evening. I was raising the height on a 180 frontside ollie on flat and as I landed, I was thown on to my back pretty hard. In my teens, I had properly ollied a 4-stair set dozens of times with dozens of successful bails and never did something like this happen. Reason for that was I had gear that I could trust. I was furious at these shoes but considered the fall fateful. Then, after seeing a doctor my priorities changed to working on my back and muscle growth.