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TheNewMe2.0

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Everything posted by TheNewMe2.0

  1. Positive: I have a new appreciation for The Flash. I dunno if it's my favorite show but it's definitely top three with Supergirl and DC's Legends. I tried to watch Superman yesterday. Got through 4 episodes. And like. I was getting severe chills while watching it. And they didn't really go away all night. So I guess I'm not gonna watch that show anymore. It was a great show though, really enjoyed watching it. Darn. I couldn't read 4 pages of the bible without getting a headache. But I'm gonna try for 2. If I can just read 2 pages a day I could finish the bible again in two years. That would be nice to at least still be continuing to read through it in it's totality. I guess my knee is doing better. It hurts a little less. But it doesn't seem to be improving much. It just doesn't hurt so bad when I sit. But when I move or stand it hurts. I dunno if that's gonna go away or I'm gonna need surguery. But I'm cautiously optimistic about surgery going well. It's like day 3 with no exercise. I feel pretty like. A lot less motivated and easier to get stressed. I'm still trying to do something to get a little exercise in without hurting my knee though. So. Wish me luck. Hope the day goes okay. Got a full six hour day today. Which is still less than 8. I like going to work and earning money. It makes me happy to look at the numbers go up when I clock my hours at the end of the day. Makes me want to work more hours so I can earn more but I don't want to burn myself out especially because I have so little time for self care with my somnolence. No progress on that but at least I haven't felt so tired this week as I did last week. I smiled at flash I accomplished eating turkey I am grateful for flash, turkey, superspeed, speedsters, dr wells, caitlin snow, cisco ramon, henry allen, nora allen, nora west allen, God bless
  2. I deal with ADD too some. It helps to put away all distractions and only have one thing to look at in front of you. (No 5+ tabs open)
  3. Positive: My knee hurts a little less today I think I'm not entirely sure if it hurts less or I'm just imagining things. But my knee really does seem to hurt less today than it did yesterday. I wasn't aching all night like I did the night before. Maybe it actually does have a chance of recovery without surgery. Still waiting on that MRI though. I might be waiting for a while, hopefully sooner than later though. I'm not really able to exercise right now due to the knee and another forearm injury I got ironically by doing physical therapy for the wrist. But I'm not letting that stop me from exercising (in some form). I read that visualizing exercise can actually help your body heal faster and improve your ability to do said exercise in real life once you're able to do it again. So I'm sitting on the couch and spending time visualizing doing yoga. I did 15 minutes yesterday. Today I might go for 30. It's odd to not do it with my actualy body. But interestingly enough I actually feel like I've done yoga that day when I visualize. It's pretty cool and I think it'll help keep me from getting depressed from the lack of movement. I smiled at yoga mat black pro manduka I accomplished meditating on a drishti I am grateful for meditation, drishti, breath, body, yoga, mat, manduka, pro, black, and furniture. God bless
  4. Positive: Practicing mindfulness Well my knee seems to be worse than when it got injured. It's been hurting more and more since the injury. I don't know if the ortho will help at all, but I hope they can tell me something that will aid in the recovery process. I've been practicing more mindfulness informally because it seems to help the knee hurt less. So I'm kind of meditating while I write this now even. Got 5 sessions and a dr appt today. It's a full day. I've been getting bothered by my mom's customers talking to me. I gotta make a vow to ignore them all as much as possible. I'm not gonna answer the door for her customers and sell them crap anymore either. I don't want to do that and it hurts me to do so. If they're early and my mom's on the way home frmo somewhere, they can wait out in their cars till she gets back I'm not showing them crap early. No. Meh. Work is work. Just try to get it done and over with as quickly as possible. Never more than a 53 minute session. I smiled at pikachu I accomplished getting through the night without much of any lustful thoughts I am grateful for the flash, mindfulness, bible, god, jesus, holy spirit, mother mary, books I can read, journal, and visualizing doing yoga. God bless
  5. Positive: nomast 2day Well last night I engaged in a lot of sexual visualization but did not masturbate. Gonna work on not visualizing tonight. Hopefully that goes well. Just working on being as clean as possible from sexual immorality. Not looking or thinking about women in a sexual/lustful way. My mom's been telling me literally like 24/7 about her business. Every deal she has on sale and is making and how everything went and what the customers are like. Literally like every deal non stop every time. I can't get a moments peace. Watch tv or read a book without her constantly interrupting me to tell me that some customer is coming to pick up a lamp. Like really. That's great she's making money. But I don't need to know about every 5-15$ item that she sells to someone. I need my alone time for God's sake. So I told her to not tell me about her business so much today. And she said okay lmk if you want me to talk even less in the future about it. Yeah. Really bothersome day yesterday listening to her blather on about her nonsense all day. So tired of it. She literally does not stop talking about it from the moment I see her in the morning to the moment I leave her presence at night. Anyways. She'll stop. Even if I have to ask again. I totally gave up on not eating animal products. That was a total joke. I need to eat meat or I feel like I'm gonna faint. I still feel tired I could use some more meat tbh. My lips have been chapped for months and no amount of chapstick is fixing it. Just gotta deal with chapped lips I guess. I'm off meds and it's going reasonably well. I just don't know when or if the somnolence will wear off. I see the orthopedist tomorrow. I feel like they aren't gonna be able to do anything to help me. They'll just be like, yeah don't use it until it stops hurting. Useful experts that they are. I can't even do a corpse pose. It hurts the knee to just lie there on the floor for some reason. It's gotten pretty bad. Well. I'm gonna force myself to watch TV and I'll do my push pull days still so that's something. Two days a week to get a little exercise in. Meditation is up to 44 minutes a day. That's cool. I smiled at meditation I accomplished not jacking off I am grateful for meditation, abstinence, purity, chastity, cleanliness, celibacy, relationships, salt, pink sea, and dish soap God bless
  6. Hey if you want to reply to people on your thread do @Mr. Ém @[name] and it'll show up in their alerts so they know you posted to them. Keep gamequittin.
  7. Glad you had a good trip with the fam. Nature is cool I'd like to go hike now that it's spring
  8. Good job making to 29 days. I wish I'd lose some weight too. Hehe.
  9. @Akeakua Hey, good for you trying to quit. Games and porn are pretty bad vices but at least they aren't heroine and whores. You may be helped by the site howtostopmasturbating.com or the more conventional nofap.com. I didn't find much help from either site tbh but I am giving veganism a try after looking at the former. Maybe I can start meditating more too to build willpower to stop masturbating. Definitely put barriers between you and the vices to make it more difficult to do them. And journaling on here daily can help.
  10. Positive: Did not masturbate last night Yep. I went on some website that said that the 4 most important things to increasing willpower are 1. Sleep 2. Meditation 3. Exercise 4. A vegan diet So I already do the first three about as well as I can. So I ate mostly vegan yesterday. I honestly feel a little off today. But I'm gonna try to make it through a week of vegan eating and see if I survive okay. I really did feel like my willpower was stronger last night to battle the urge to masturbate. The knee is not doing so great. I can't even bend it without pain. It has to stay straight and elevated at all times or it starts hurting. That's not good. We'll see if the orthopedist has anything to say on Wednesday. I feel like the only thing I can do is just rest it and it will probably eventually stop hurting and I'll be able to exercise again. I'm trying to eat 100g of protein a day. Which is possibly more than I need. 67 is sedentary and 100 is active. And I'm not really that active aside from the two days that I do calisthenics. I'm at 28g of protein for the day. If I get up to like 90 I'd be happy with that. Idk how much protein is in a serving of tofu though. Ehhh. Hope I don't get malnourished and protein deficient. I really do feel kind of like weak and woozy. Hmm. Just gotta eat more plant protein and see how it goes. I want that willpower boost to beat masturbation. Today is day two completely free of psychotropics. I'm happy to be off them. But I'm also sad that I spent so much time on them getting messed up side effects that I am unsure if they will ever reverse. I didn't watch TV yesterday I just read. I miss watching The Flash. Maybe I'll watch some today. Unless I'm miraculously able to read the bible again without getting a headache I pretty much have nothing to do otherwise. Well unless I want to go into savage monk mode and meditate 2-3 hours a day. I know not many people read this but it's still helpful I think to me to keep posting. After all I've been able to stay off games over a year. So if it aint broke don't fix it. I'm gonna keep posting so long as I keep quitting. I smiled at my knee I accomplished eating 28g plant protein I am grateful for tofurkey, sausage, tofu, beans, edamame, japanese stuff, water bottle brush, oxford, 1 subject notebook and my sweater. God bless
  11. Positive: still in one piece. Yes I may not be doing too well with the knee and the relapsing on masturbating. But I am still alive. So that's something. I feel like I'm kind of addicted to watching TV although it's relatively under control as I do everything I need to do in spite of watching TV. Although there's not much to do lately now that I can't really do yoga and can only do 2 strength training days a week. I'm feeling kind of depressed. This morning I didn't feel like doing my morning warm up and stretch. Or even making breakfast. I just didn't care if I ate or not. I slept an extra hour making it 14 and I masturbated in that hour. Darn there goes my 8 day streak. I have to try and do it without much help aside from what I may get on this site. All I can do is sit on the couch and watch TV, eat and meditate. I can't really read because it messes me up with my disorders. Even watching TV isn't the best experience these days. So work tv meditate....2 days str training. There are maybe 3 or 4 yoga poses I might still be able to do without hurting the knee further. I'm also coming off bupropion so that's like possibly going to contribute to feeling depressed. I still think I can continue on but things aren't looking so good as of late. Exercise was my coping for work and life and it's all but gone for now. Yep. I guess I am enjoying watching The Flash though. It was cool to see the season 7 episodes even though they caused me discomfort for some reason. I'm really not looking forward to this next week. With a big reduction in exercise I'm going to really be hurting without my coping. I'm afraid to increase meditation time to try to cope because I don't want to get like a mental injury and lose that too. I feel like I get injured doing everything and it sucks big time. I can't maintain anything without hurting myself. Blegh. I wonder if my knee will even recover enough to do yoga again. I smiled at mat I accomplished salt I am grateful for mat, salt, sea, coarse, fine, ground, rind, hind, pine, tree, xmas God bless
  12. Yeah good luck. Watch videos of Cam on youtube. It helped me out when I was getting started. Good idea finding replacements for gaming. Make a list of things you'll do if you feel the need to game and go do those things instead.
  13. Positive: I'm one week free of masturbation Yes 7 days away from masturbating someone give me a medal. I'm the greatest. I think about Buddha, Jesus, Oorhvareta yogi's, monks, priests and Brahmachari's and how they're all celibate for life as inspiration for not masturbating and even being okay with being celibate the rest of my life if I never happen across a wife that's suitable for me and will commit to being with me. I'm reading this marriage book on that subject. It's 'Now you're speaking my language' by Gary Chapman. It's a good book and I wish I'd read it when I was a kid so I could understand what goes into making a positive romantic relationship. Oh well at least I'm getting it now. Maybe I can take my clients who are in relationships how to better navigate them. I haven't tried my yoga mat after the fourth salt scrub. I'm getting pretty fed up with scrubbing this darn mat. Maybe four will be enough and I can stop scrubbing it. We'll find out after I try it some. The knee is still messed up and hurting whenever I walk or stand. So that's a bit concerning. I guess it's still early in the recovery period so it's probable that it'll heal up and not hurt. I doubt I'll be walking any 10k anytime soon if ever though. I do plan to go test the knee out on a treadmill once it's pain free to see if the cushion allows for me to walk 10k without pain. Or at least 5k. I got a new bottle brush but it doesn't get inside the moutpiece so I got another one that looks like it will and I'll return the old one. I didn't feel like reciting bible verses that past few nights. Maybe because I was more stressed that usual or something. But I just didn't feel up to it. I've been hitting 170 bible verses a night. That's a lot of words to recite. But it was making me feel pretty good and I liked it in some ways. I'm journaling a CBT record and a pros cons list almost daily now. It's cool. Just trying to keep up that like therapy training I guess. I'm kind of beat I had a tough session last night and didn't get to chill after as I was busy helping my moms customers buy crap from her store in our house. Ugh. I don't want to have to spend my free time selling crap for her. I may just refuse to answer the door if she's not home and the customers come again. My free time is precious and very little because of my somnolence. I need to enjoy as much of it as I can. Which brings me to my next point. The Flash is streaming new episodes now. They're amazing. I'm on 701 and it's so good. I'm so happy to get to watch a new season of The Flash. Because of my TV disorder I never get to watch anything new so it's like such a huge treat when one of my shows comes out with a new season. I really hope the disoder and all my disorders go away now that I'm off my psychotropics. Tomorrow will be my first day completely off them. I've been off risperdal for two weeks but no sign of the disorders going away aside from my appetite decreasing a little. Also I can't sit in a normal chair. I have to be in a recliner with the legs up or my knee hurts constantly. It's kind of bad. Well that was a giant post because it's the weekend and I have time. I smiled at my mat I accomplished buying more bottle brushes I am grateful for mat, brush, bottle, oorhvareta yogi, gary chapman, monks, buddha, jesus, brahmacharis, and priests. God bless
  14. For sure I remember hearing them tell about this story at church one time and it was good for me to hear too. Nice work writing a pros cons list and drawing a conclusion after. Those can be really helpful and I'm trying to practice them more too.
  15. Positive: 6 days no masturbation Well I had a wet dream last night. Which isn't good. I don't want to have any wet dreams. But I still didn't masturbate so that's something. I think maybe it's because I attempted to sleep w/o pants on. Then put the pants on later but I think it like stimulated my genitals to be in bed with only underwear. So that happened. Hopefully it will stop. My yoga mat salt cure is going well. Today is cure number 4. I just rub the salt in 2-3 times while it sits for 24 hours and I rub it off with a warm water towel. Then it like gets grippier. I'm waiting on my bottle brush to come in the mail it's lagging, but it'll come. Till then I have to use my water bottle without washing it which is kind of gross but I need the water so I guess I'll do it anyway. Full six hour day today. Mon weds fri are almost all completely full. That just leaves tues thurs to fill up and I'll have a full caseload pretty much. That's cool. My job is pretty good they give me hours and I'm moving towards my license. I just hope and pray to God that my somnolence will go away so I can have time to study for my NCMCHE exam or whatever the acronym is. I smiled at exam I accomplished moving towards LPC I am grateful for exam, LPC, process, doing better, new job, clients, work, money, culture, asian, God bless
  16. Hey good luck to you. Sorry about the girlfriend I'm sure you can find a new one someday. Sounds like you have good activities planned.
  17. Positive: Well I found therapists in my network currently I've been giving thought to staying on anthem healthkeepers because I'm already on it and I could potentially go see like a therapist more often than 5x a year. Which could be really nice if I had a good therapist. I didn't find any in my area. But I figured out how to extend the search to include my entire state. I figure it doesn't matter because I'll just do telehealth with them anyways. Plus my dermatologist with anthem is pretty good they recognized I needed to try antibiotics and those are working decently well. And I can see a doctor in person or online anytime. The only struggle really is to find a therapist and after recognizing that there's like probably 30-40 therapists in my state that I'd be willing to try I think it's like feasible to stay on anthem. So maybe I won't go back to Kaiser just yet. Oops I just found out the special enrollment period has ended so I can't like change my health insurance anymore. I'm stuck with Kaiser for the year. I guess that's fine. I felt comfortable with my Dr there. And I guess the derm isn't so bad. Sure there isn't much therapy to be had there but I guess it was functioning well enough for my health insurance company. It's a lot of work to like call around to find a dr through other companies. Kaiser just gives you one albeit a random one. Yeah. I'll get a derm and a therapist and it'll hopefully be good enough. I got the day off today because I haven no clients or sup today. So I guess I'll just hang around the house or run an errand or something. Gonna do wrist rehab and pull today. Maybe read some of my gary chapman book. I tried to use a dating app yesterday. I'm still on it but it was like giving me all kinds of insomnia and acne so Idk if I'll stay on it very long. Maybe delete it today. I guess I'll just have to stop trying to date and wait and see if my disorders go away now that I'm off meds. So....no social for me possibly for a long time who knows when or if they'll go away. But before I moved like 3 years ago I was on dating apps and had no problems with anxiety or acne insomnia etc from using them. I just went on dates like it was whatever. No problem. Maybe that'll come back to me and I can find someone. I smiled at dating? I accomplished eating I am grateful for dating, eating, insurance, times up, water, money, selling, buying, deals, roads, bushes God bless
  18. Positive: I'm curing my yoga mat So the Manduka pro takes like forever to 'break in'. It'll be slippery till then. But I have a couple good yoga towels I can use for the time being. Maybe after months it'll break in and I won't need the towel. I'm doing like a ton of 'salt cures' where you leave salt on the mat and rub it in and wipe it off with warm water towel. We'll see if it works. That's basically what everyone does to make it break in. But supposedly once it's broken in it'll be like the best mat ever and last for life so. That'd be cool. I'm back on ibuprofen because my knee has been hurting. It sucks. My moms back is messed up too. So we're both injured right now. I'm still gonna do some floor poses today for yoga. But no strengthening or balance poses. I feel like those risk reinjuring my knee. No deadlifting for me for now either. Ugh. Well at least I can still do my job. Got 5 hours today. 1 short of a full day. Had two relatively successful new clients come in this week so that's good. Just trying to keep on going and make it to 25 hours a week with 3 hours a week supervision. Then I'll be on track to apply for my license within 1.5 years almost exactly. One of the things I'm looking forward to today is actually drinking water. I really enjoy drinking 80oz + per day. It's nice for some reason. I feel accomplished. My constipation isn't doing so great so I hope that it clears up more. I would think it would as I'm getting off the psychotropics. Sunday I'll be drug free. Gonna try for a new derm and a new therapist once I get back to Kaiser and to see a orthopedist for my wrist/knee. Been paper journaling and doing CBT/pros cons in it. That's going alright. I miss brahmacharya but it was causing me acne and insomnia so it kind of had to go. I don't think it's a good idea to keep reading it. I'll hopefully be able to stop masturbating without it. 'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.' God willing one day I'll make a lot of money and have over a year clean off masturbating. And not dwell on sexual thoughts either. Pure mind. No ejaculation unless it to make kids and only 2x a week sex with wife. I smiled at sex with wife I accomplished reading bible I am grateful for wife, sex, bible, god, life, love, kings, queens, princes, princesses, gods, goddesses God bless
  19. Beautiful pic from Japan. I don't talk to my Dad or sister anymore because I just don't feel comfortable with them. But I remember that Jesus said 'you have heard and eye for an eye but I say when someone has wronged you forgive them. And do not forgive once or twice, forgive and forgive and forgive again.' To mean forgive infinitely. That's intense that you moved so far to work with a doctor. I'm glad things are going better for you physically. Keep on going.
  20. Positive: Nofap day 3 It was kind of difficult. I had dreams about a sexual interaction with a woman. But we didn't have sex in the dream I like woke up before that happened. I decided I don't want to have any lustful thoughts. No thoughts about sex, or even kissing or cuddling. I'll just do my best to not think about them or think about something else when they come up. To not engage in fantasizing at all. I figure if I get a girlfriend and thus permit cuddling and kissing then that'll happen then and I won't have to fantasize about it and the same goes for sex without ejaculation with my wife if I get married. So this way I'll be able to keep my thoughts pure and not get tempted into masturbation. I'm still like in this push and pull with nofap/brahmacharya. I feel like the book and the site are causing me stress and possibly even acne which is really not good. But they're allowing me to not masturbate which is a big deal. I'm hoping maybe I can mess with them until I finish the book in like two weeks and then take a break indefinitely from the site/book. Like when I read the bible through and I still retain a lot of goodness from it. Although I still read the proverbs hm. I smiled at Solomon I accomplished reading prov I am grateful for Solomon, Proverbs, grace, mercy, love, kindness, compassion, minfulness, non judgment, and flexibility. God bless
  21. Positive: Nofap day 2 successful I don't really like the energy from their site or the book on nofap. But they're helping me to nofap so. I guess I'll just hit and run like I did with AA. And go back to them when I'm struggling a lot to nofap. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to take on the added stress I get from going on their website. This website isn't really as geared towards nofap very few people post about it. Also my mom has been dragging me along on her 5 hour car rides picking up random junk. I'm done with it taking away my weekend rest time from me. From now on I'm going to stay home and only go out with her if she agrees to run just the errands I want to run and nothing else. Maybe one other thing at most but no more pickup stuff only closeby errands like home depot or H mart. None of which I Can do anyways until my knee is better. I got a knee brace yesterday per the dr. But it caused my knee to feel intense pain after wearing for a bit. So I guess I'm just gonna do without it. I don't want to put on this thing that makes my pain even worse. I'm only working upper body and doing nothing with my legs. Most of my time this week will be spent sitting on the couch. I plan to get through a lot of The Flash rerun 3 and then I'm gonna go watch Supergirl again probably. The new seasons of Flash and Supergirl are being released on CWTV.com right now. It's great. I'm gonna watch me some new episodes. Wow. That's awesome. I'm kind of excited now. I don't want to crouch over by the TV to set up the HDMI to my laptop though because it might aggravate my knee so I'll just watch them on my laptop for now. That's not so bad. Wish me well. I smiled at fire I accomplished being warmer I am grateful for fire, warmth, summer, spring, winter, fall, god, me, wife, children, family, friends God bless
  22. @gargamelThanks Gargy. I'm glad you're able to stay off the games. It's a good thing. Now I'm just working on other things like nofap. Which, while I was addicted to games, was the least of my concerns as it didn't take up that much time. But now it's like my everest. I feel like once you climb one mountain there's another one waiting for you. But it's best to just keep climbing and you get stronger and see nice views from the summits.
  23. Thanks man. I hope so one day too for all of it to work out. I spent some time on the nofap site. I didn't really like it but I feel like I got some important information and actually managed not to masturbate last night. Yeah I'll find a way to nofap. Maybe I'll look at the site once a week or something. Positive: did not fap last night So that was kind of difficult. But I read a bunch of posts on nofap.com and posted a journal there too and read like 9 pages of some book on nofap. And some articles. I didn't really feel comfortable doign it but I managed to nofap last night. So Idk I don't really want to go back on their site but I guess if I have to once in a while to maintain nofap I'll do it. Yeah. Tried to deadlift last night. That didn't go well, my knee isn't able to handle it. Hope my back holds up while my knee recovers. The deadlift is usually the only thing keeping me from back pain. I can't put my hand on the floor for yoga anymore. I'm trying to do wrist rehab but I feel like I'm never gonna be able to do a push up again. And that's a pretty realistic assessment of how bad my wrist is. There are people who have it worse than me though. Even with all my injuries disorders and side effects. My loneliness etc. I have my yoga and workouts pretty much all planned out to work around my injuries. So I'll still get some exercise in even if it's not as high quality and muscle building as it would be if my injuries weren't here. I just wish I'd never done kickboxing then I wouldn't have all these injuries and could do yoga no problem. We're going to lunch with mom's friends. I'll probably get uncomfortable energy from them but there's that slim chance it will be okay. Also I'll probably get a stomach ache from the food as I've a sensitive stomach. I guess I'll still go though eh I smiled at mom I accomplished nofap I am grateful for mom, nofap, pb, j, rug, floor, yoga mat, manduka, pictures, paintings, frames, degrees God bless
  24. Positive: Still trying to quit masturbating So uh I pretty much felt like I gave up last night with nofap. And I masturbated like 7 times. then I finally was like try to stop. And I stopped. That may be hte most I've ever masturbated. I guess I have like sex and masturbation addiction or something. I dunno if I can get help for this or what. Maybe I'll try and post on nofap Idk. Crap. I'm pretty tired of trying though. Tired of doing it too. Idk what to do. Also we might have bedbugs. Getting an inspection on Monday. That's not good. Still getting new clients hopefully most of them take and I can handle seeing them. Still getting the chills 5 days after the initial incident that caused them. Somnolence and weight gain are at a standstill 5 days post getting off Risperdal. Another week and I'll be off all psychotropics. Maybe then I'll see some improvement in my symptoms. Been doing CBT and pros cons in my journal lately. Feels kind of good. I'll do one on masturbating today. Going back to Kaiser the services were so so but the energy was better so. Gotta cater to my energy disorder. I wish I never did substances or games I bet I wouldn't have developed all these disorders that I have. Instead it's a nearly impossible struggle just to hold a job and pursue a wife. I smiled at peanut butter I accomplished setting up water filter I am grateful for peanut butter, water filter, brita, spring water, 365, mud, dirt, grass, dry, wet God bless
  25. @RealworlderI get the bad energy even from a single text message and it lasts like for hours from just that. When I saw her in person it lasted over 24 hours. It is rough. I don't know if I'm ever gonna make it in my career or get married. I do hope to treadmill it up someday. The yoga is good. Yeah I'm only working like 14 hours right now and FT is considered 25 so I'm a little ways off I'm not even up to speed yet. Positive: knee stopped hurting last night It was hurting while I went to bed but it stopped hurting through the night so that's good. I'm just trying to exercise however I can while this injury is here. Work around it. It's my last work day for the week so that's good. Got four session two new cleints today. Gotta send mail to medicaid stating I don't want it anymore. And I don't know what I'm doing with my health insurance. I'm either going to keep healthkeepers or switch back to kaiser. Yeah we'll see. My mom's like all upset at someone on the phone over her taxes. She probably has a good reason though. She'll fight her way through this type of thing with the people on the phone and try to get her money. My knee started hurting when I was just stretching my calf yesterday. So that was kind of scary don't know if I'll be doing any warrior poses now. Looking to get my deadlift in today. I can only do it when my tenant is out of the house. So I just look for her car to be gone and go down there. Couldn't do it yesterday. Not feeling much like writing today. Not feeling much like doing anything really. Still kind of bummed about xiao. I wonder if she felt any remorse at my leaving or was just like whatever. I don't have energy to spare for girls now anyways. It's crunch time for my job. I need to do everything I can to make it work until I'm at capacity. Going back to Kaiser will suck because I can only see a therapist 5x a year max. But I'm kind of comfortable with the staff there so that's what's making me want to do it again. Haven't found a therapist through healthkeepers and don't feel comfortable with the energy from cigna or united. Jeez my mom's really going off on the phone. I gotta retreat to my office. It's stressful listening to her. I don't know if I want to keep trying with healthkeepers or do kaiser. . . hmm. I feel like kaiser is less stress so I'll probably go with that. I smiled at pikachu I accomplished reading I am grateful for all might, deku, uraraka, remotes, pens, pencils, paper, drawing, coloring, people God bless
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