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TheNewMe2.0

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  1. Glad to see you're making progress in overcoming your gaming. If you want Jason70 to get a notification that you wrote a note back to him please type @ then his name like so @Jason70 this will help him know to read what you wrote.
  2. I see. Yeah. I used to weigh 165 before I got on meds and I'm hoping now tht I got off them I'll go back to that weight. But so far I haven't seen much of a reversal of the side effects of those drugs. Here's hoping. I definitely feel like I look a bit fatter than I used to. Im still thin though but I used to be like super lean. They say it's probably a meniscus tear which requires surgery but we'll see on the 14th when I get my mri. I hope after all is said and done I can at least do yoga again. Positive: Mom's taking care of me. She made me breakfast lunch and dinner the past couple days and is refilling my water bottle so I don't have to get up. It's very nice to see her rrise to the occasion and take care of me. If I were at my dad's I would pretty much be on my own. I'd probably even have to go grocery shopping for myself on crutches. But thankfully I'm with my mom and she's taking care of all that. Unfortunately I have to sit on the recliner on the max reclined setting or the knee hurts. This means I have to prop my head up wiht a pillow all day which is making my neck kind of ache. So I got a different pillow hopefully it works out. Cuz I gotta sit on this couch like all day. I'm starting to spend time everyday visualizing exercise. I'm doing 4 days yoga 2 days weightlifting one day rest. I'm planning to visualize the routine I want to do once my body is better. I hope they can do something for my shoulder and wrist because I seriously couldn't even do a push up before the knee injury. If they can't Idk I guess I'll just have to go without any push ups for the rest of my life. Sucks but yeah I guess I can survive like that. Nomas day 10 amazing yay I give the glory to God I smiled at mom I accomplished reading proverbs 7 I am grateful for mom, proverbs, bible, God, energy, good energy, light, love, trust, peace, God bless
  3. Thanks Theresa. My new job is really good about getting me new clients, Thank God. How come you drive so much? Glad you could socialize
  4. Good luck at school. You'll probably do a lot better w/o gaming in the mix. Thanks for the encouragement on the crutches. Maybe I'll get approached at Walmart or something hehe. I'm a little apprehensive to post pics of me on here. I've kept it pretty anonymous this past year. I'd think about it though. Rooting for you too.
  5. @RealworlderHey good to see you as always. I hope the new journal reset goes well for you. Thanks I hope my knees get better soon too. I'm calling everyday to try to get in earlier if someone cancels their appt. I did try fasting and it didn't go so great for me. It was just making me feel tired and cranky. So I went back to three meals a day. When I eat a small dinner though I'm able to lose weight so that was going well for me. I went from 183 to 175. But I can't weigh myself anymore bcuz of the knee so I guess I'll find out if I lost any weight when I complete the surgery and recovery. Positive: I'm still able to work nomas 9 Well my body may be broken down pretty bad right now but I'm still able to work for the time being. Thank God for zoom calls during covid. If I had to go to the office this would be very uncomfortable and possibly not possible for me. I'm basically not exercising at all aside from a few seated yoga poses with my arms and a couple static holds I can do on the floor lying down. Guess I'm gonna learn how to just rely on my mind to get by for the next few months or so. I may knee surgery on both knees though so that's kind of might make it like 6 months+ to recover. Long long time. Yep. Squatting weight and walking led to this somehow. Maybe the squats were too deep. Thankfully my mom is helping care for me and makes me food and busses my table and does whatever I ask of her. God bless her. I smiled at milk I accomplished being silly I am grateful for Flash, Supergirl, Legends, Realworlder, macbook, command, control, editting, money, and side job. God bless
  6. Loving your positivity and optimism. It makes me feel the same way about my health even though I'm probably gonna be scheduled for one or more surgeries in the upcoming months and can't currently walk w/o crutches. We got this.
  7. Thanks for the good luck. That's awesome, good for you getting your PsyD. I actually live and work in Virginia too. I'm at about a full caseload of 25 clients right now. It's pretty good for now I'm hoping to just maintain. Earning those hours and all that. Gotta study for the NCMHCE eventually. I hope you do well in school, seems like you're ready to go for it. Nice morning routine and cool story about the coffee, sounds like you almost got the discount too.
  8. Positive: I was able to sleep on my side last night nomas 8 Uhm. So my left and right knee are now hurting. I'm very concerned the left knee won't hold up and Ill have to get double knee surgery instead of just the one. That's a major issue because I would not be able to go upstairs to shower and don't even know how I'd feed myself if I have to be in a wheelchair for 3+ months. Really hoping my left knee holds up. At least until I can finish surgery on my right knee. Man this is pretty bad. I can't believe I got so messed up from squatting and walking. Dang. Well, I hope I can at least continue working over zoom. I can't really fully recline and talk on the zoom. Which may end up hurting my knee so I might have to just quit my job for like 3+ months which would be a gigantic setback in my progress towards my license and in my career in general. I don't even know if that company would let me come back to work if I left for that long. Hopefully I can keep working through the surgeries. I may need to get all frozen food and just eat that whenever my mom hasn't cooked for me. Because cooking and putting all that pressure on my left leg to cook while on crutches is like a major issue and my left knee is hurting a lot and it's scaring me. I smiled at a cheese slice taht looked like a smile. I accomplished getting downstairs and dressed I am grateful for my currently somewhat working left leg, painting, window, trees, double pane, warmth, ac, heat, heart, and rug. God bless
  9. Positive: It's Sunday and I'm enjoying a break from exercise. Nomas 7. So I'm resting on the 7th day like God after he made the earth. Gonna be exercising less now that my knee is doing so poorly. Uhm. I walked around running errands yesterday and my knee hurt so much that I could not sleep well. 3 weeks till I get the MRi and then probably another 3 weeks or more till they shcedule the surgery. Kaiser takes forever. Blah. But I like their energy so....yeah....that's why I went back to them for better or worse. Definitely some worse going on here though. Made it through to Nomas day 7. That's a big deal because my last streak ended at 6. So making some improvement this week. That'd be cool if I beat my longest streak of 6 months and journeyed into the great world of nomas. My weight went from 183-186 down to 175. But I ate at Halal guys yesterday and I think the dark meat chicken was too fatty and caused my weight to go back up because today I was 180. 5 lbs more than yesterday. Amazing how it fluctuates. So I'm gonna just eat at home and maybe try panda once and see how that goes. My goal is to get down to 165. In college I could bench over 200 and do 20 pull ups at 165 lbs. I was on creatine given but it was still pretty impressive. I don't think I'll ever bench again because of injuries. But maybe I can do pull ups if I'm careful to land on only my left leg so as not to hurt the right knee. I'm relying on my mom to buy me groceries now and getting crutches to avoid putting unecessary stress on my knee. It's gonna be a tough next few months. I just hope I can get through it with a low enough pain level that I'm able to sleep at night that's the main goal for my knee. I smiled at remote I accomplished drawing yesterday I am grateful for paper, pencil, sakura, amazon, notebooks, wallet, keys, eraser, salt crystal, and sweater. God bless
  10. Nice vision board. Are you aspiring to be a PsyD? How far are you into the process? I'm working towards my LPC right now. I dunno if I'll go back and finish a doctorate.
  11. Positive: nomas day 6 Well, I seem to be able to control my physical body from not masturbating. However, I am really struggling with thoughts of girls. Triggering thoughts. Wiki How said to try and imagine myself at church annd to make a commitment so that's an idea. I'm trying to practice meditation with mouth closed and open. Because when I sleep I have my mouth open so maybe I can get used to controlling thoughts in that facial position and conquer them. I made a commitment to keep resisting the thoughts and trying to control my thinking and body until I die. To never give up and laways keep trying to stay stopped with the masturbation. In other news. Kaiser takes forever to get you specialty doctor services so I have to wait 3 weeks just to get an MRI. Not to mention it'll probably be even more time till I can get the actual surgery. So I can get used to not practicing yoga with my physical body and watching TV with most of my free time. I'm trying to do push ups pull ups and abs like every day mixed up. But my shoulder's messed up. They're gonna MRI that too. If I could get surgery and be able to do normal push ups again with no long term side effects that would be a huge blessing. I wouldn't do any new exercises or dangerous stuff with the barbells that got me injured in the first place. I'd mostly just do yoga and try to maintain that for life without injury. I'm kind of teetering on being celebate because my attempts at finding a wife have been so dismal. I just don't feel comfortable with anyone's energy. I feel like I at least want to wait a couple years to see if getting off the meds will improve my issues. By then I'll be 34 though. The cutoff for finding first marriages is 35 for men statistically speaking. If you look for a woman past that age there's a much higher chance you'll be looking at starting a second marriage with her. And those have a statistically lower chance of succeeding than first marriages. Just saying. I smiled at thoughts I accomplished meditating I am grateful for thoughts, meditation, peace of mind, tranquility, smiling, safety, refuge, jesus, kindness, and calmness. God bless
  12. You're welcome. Good job getting all that exercise in. I learned to meditate from this guys book : https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bhante+gunaratana I basically simplified his meditation to just include the breath at a single point and bodily sensations. You can audiobook his book on there 'mindfulness in plain english' or maybe in the first 5min video he'll explain his meditation. Good luck.
  13. Positive: made it through the night day 5 nomas My acne has gotten worse and worse lately. Idk what it is. I was on antibiotics for my back acne and it helped that a bit but my face acne got worse. So Idk what's causing it. I just hope it gets better. Maybe it's because I'm not getting cardio or yoga in anymore? Darn. I smiled at the Gideons I accomplished bringing down a new blanket to the couch I am grateful for Gideons, new blanket, couch, brown, beige, warm, feet, socks, shows, meditation, Lexus God bless
  14. You could try meditating if you don't already. That can help with anxiety/urges.
  15. Positive: Day 4 of no masturbating So yeah. That's pretty good for me. It's been a tough 4 days but I seem to be getting on decently well. This morning was exceptionally difficult. I was having thoughts of sex. I'm planning to practice my meditation to try and manage those thoughts. So I don't stay on them. Yep. Just hope I can find a way to continue staying off the masturbation. Even in my last 6 day streak I was feeling like the semen retention was building my energy and confidence. I felt more positive and happier. I want to feel like that all the time. I want to stay off mast. Just two clients today because it's the off week for group sup. But next week I have to do 4 hours supervision. Ah. So much. Last week Friday sup was very uncomfortable I hope this weeks is better. More bearable. We'll see. I'm thinking of joining planet fitness to use the treadmill. I want to find out if they have push up bars/paralettes. Had my first 6 client day where they all showed up yesterday. How about that. I smiled at my slippers I accomplished meditating I am grateful for slippers, meditation, Adidas, clients, money, new episodes every wednesday, tv, soundbar, hdmi, and Supergirl ofc. God bless
  16. That's awesome to hear. I'm very happy for you guys. I forgave my mom too when I was 28 and now we live together and she's my biggest supporter. Good luck getting into the lifting. Exercise is nice.
  17. Positive: Okay actually Supergirl and The Flash come out with new episodes today. I thought it was yesterday but it's today on cwtv.com. Get your adblocker setup if you want to watch on there. I'm so stoked. Yeah. Awesome woo hoo. New episodes of my favorite shows. Yay. Thank God. I have a full 6 session day today plus editing to do. So I don't know if I'll have any time to watch my shows. Maybe on lunch break I can watch a partial episode. Definitely excited to see the shows in their most recent form. Yep. Since being off meds I've felt a bit more energetic although that's also partially due to semen retention I'm sure. Also I've been feeling less hungry. I might reduce my breakfast by one egg. I smiled at new shows I accomplished eating breakfast I am grateful for new shows, breakfast, reduction, weight loss, exercise, headset, sand, nice people, good energy and my working hands. God bless
  18. Positive: Supergirl 601 out today Yes today is the day. We shall see how Kara and the band are doing in their final epic season of the six. It's too bad it's come to an end. We had a good run supergirl. But six was all that we could muster. The ratings just were not doing so well and Melissa Benoist wanted to go do other things. So one of my favorite shows had to end. Alas. At least we got six. My slow increase of meditation is happening. I'm up to 50 minutes a day this week and I'll go up 5 minutes a week until I hit 60 and probably just maintain from there. I'm trying to push for more yoga visualization because I need to do something to get off the TV. I'm on it so much, ah. So the goal is 30 minutes of yoga vis today. I'm also doing like 4 chair yoga poses I found online to do. Wish I could find more, but the 4 I have are a help. Nice to move for once. Did push ups and dips and crunches yesterday so that's good. It's not even close to as calming as a good 40 minute yoga session was but it's better than nothing I suppose. I smiled at chinese I accomplished being nice to mom I am grateful for chinese, mom, being nice, good energy, holy spirit, kindness, calm, thoughtfulness, caring, and understanding. God bless
  19. Positive: Supergirl Season 601 comes out tomorrow. Hooray it is here. Tomorrow I will attempt to watch Supergirl 601 the first episode of the new and final season. Ah Supergirl is like one of my favorite shows. I'll be very happy if I'm able to watch it. Watching The Flash S7 has been great. There's a new episode of that on Wednesday. So I get two awesome shows to watch a new episode of this week. What a great week. Yay, thank God. The more time passes without much of a discernible difference in my knee's healing the more I think I'm gonna have to get surgery. Honestly I just want to get the MRI done already and get surgery or not. Waiting around sucks. I want to get back on my yoga mat asap. My eyes have been getting kind of red because I'm watching much more TV now that I can't really walk or stand. It's uh. It's life I guess. I'm working on doing push pull 6 days a week. Because there isn't anything else I can do physically. So I'm gonna try to just do a lot of push ups crunches and pull ups. We'll see how that goes. It's a new week. Very close to that next paycheck at the end of the month so that's cool. I'm getting closer to 25 hours a week too. Then I'll be making some decent coin. I just hope and pray that I am able to continue doing my job for a good 20-30 years until my career is done. I smiled at the atom I accomplished praying I am grateful for atom, prayer, meditating of God, god, oxford, college rule, notebooks, drawing, art, coloring God bless
  20. Hi Theresa, welcome to the forums. Good job staying off games. And good to hear that you're exercising and hanging out with friends more. Those are very healthy activities.
  21. Good job making it this far on your streak. Those sound like some good hobbies to be checking out. I hope some of them stick.
  22. @Jason70Yeah it's okay. Just a bad break I guess. Might be three months till I'm exercising again. Time to get used to sitting. Visualizing is going okay we'll see how that turns out. Masturbating was going okay but yesterday I broke my streak. It was in the last like 1 minute before I got out of bed too. I have a new plan of how to stop masturbating and combat the thoughts like you said. Read on Positive: I have a new plan to beat masturbation So I relapsed on mast yesterday. That sucks, but I have a new plan to do better this next streak. The plan is. If I hump my mattress 3 times I have to get out of bed to cool down. If I hump it 4 times that counts as a relapse. If I think about doing anything past kissing a girl with no tongue or giving a girl a hug then I have to meditate on God until the sexual thoughts pass. I may just tighten that rule up even more and say if I think of making any physical contact with a girl I have to meditate on God until the thoughts go away. that's probably the safest thing to do you know. Stay as far away from teh fire as possible if you don't want to get burned. So I'll work with these more strict boundaries and rules and see how it goes. I'm cautiously optimistic about it. I have been able to successfully not masturbate using my hands. It's just humping the mattress that gets me. So hence the 3 humps 4 humps rule. Yep. Wish me luck. The thoughts always come in the morning right before it's time to get up out of bed. So that's the time to meditate on God. When the thoughts come. I smiled at new plan I accomplished living I am grateful for new plan, life, God, meditating on God, mat, floor, visualize, pants, boxers and meditation. God bless
  23. Good work getting off the games. Maybe the ejuice is next. What's this bootcamp thing all about?
  24. Positive: It's the weekend baby yeah. Awesome. Well. I know it sucks in a way to not have my knee working and be out of commission for pretty much all forms of exercise as they all involved having to stand and move around. But the good news is I have lots of time to meditate and watch TV. My mom's out all day so I can peacefully listen to the TV talk in the quietude of my own home. So nice. Yeah. Gonna enjoy the crap out of this TV and meditation time. I feel like I can still get some of the benefits of yoga just form visualizing it. Definitely not getting the same benefits as doing it physically but I think it's better than nothing. I have been struggling a lot with sexual thoughts. My mind keeps thinking about sexual thoughts like all the time. Especially at night. It's craving them more intensely. Maybe because I'm not masturbating and it's my first 7 days on this streak so my mind is like going nuts without it. Masturbation is a pretty difficult addiction to quit it seems. But I made it to day 6 so, that's good. I have a rule, if I get so tempted that I'm gonna do it in bed which is the only place it happens lately I will get out of bed and do something else rather than give in to masturbating. It's working. I was about to do it and then I was like okay time to get out of bed, no I don't wanna get out I'll just not masturbate then so I can lay here. And that's what I did. It worked. Also I'm practicing mindfulness to try to stop thinking about sex. That's working but them my mind wanders back to it and I gotta come back to the breath. Yeah. It's a work in progress but I hope that I can continue quitting. I smiled at grass I accomplished pooping I am grateful for swans, grass, BM's, flowers, stone paths, well, cherry blossom, tree, pink sky, smoke, cloud, green, God bless
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