TheNewMe2.0

Ya don't forget about GQ. We all like reading your posts.

@BooksandTreesThanks. You're right about life never being perfect. There are a ton of things that I'd like to have God fix in my life, but for whatever reason those things are just going to remain as they are. I can't do anymore for them than I have already. Maybe in the afterlife all those problems will be solved. Till then I'll just keep working with life as it is the best I can. That's all we can do is our best to get through each day. I feel like I'm more settled into my life than I was in my earlier posts. I'm kind of just doing the same things now and not spending all my time searching and wondering what to do. Positive: Fireplace is warm It's always cold in the mornings. But my fireplace is warm. We run that instead of the heater because it supposedly save energy. I don't know if it does or not. But it's nice to have the fireplace on. At least there's a little bit of warmth happening in my freezing cold living room. My mom went to church today. I wonder if she'll enjoy it. Maybe. I can't go though. Church makes me stressed. So none for me...probably forever. Uhm. I'm feeling pretty dead this weekend. Not having good thoughts last night. Feeling pretty dark. I think I'm doing a bit better today though. Managed to workout yesterday and I'm looking to do the same schedule today. Workout, meditate, clean. Journaled yesterday, that was good too. Just waiting to see if my new tv works out. I really hope it's not too low as I'm lowering the height because a CNET article said lower was better. I've got the stand and the living room ready to receive my new tv. We shall see how it goes. Also I've got my first outpatient client wednesday so we'll see how that goes too. Hopefully all goes well. Interview monday for a substance abuse counselor position. I wonder if I could thrive at that job. I wonder if they get a lot of cancellations. As I finish season six I'm looking forward to season seven when it comes out in January. Well it starts filming then anyways, we'll see when it's released. I hope stargirl keeps filming too I don't know when that's set for. We got a christmas tree. So that's nice. I like doing festive things. Although parties and social events are kind of draining for me. It's still nice to do something for the holidays. I smiled at Sunday I accomplished warming up I am grateful for Sunday, warmth, shift key, 1 year, people, GQ, plants, mom, me, blanket, end table God bless

Good job resisting the urge to give in to gaming. It's all part of staying game free.

Hey good luck and welcome to the forums. Finding things to do it part of the process.

I get cravings too. I just keep enduring and coming back to my breath to try and mindfulness away the thoughts of gaming. Or distract myself by watching tv or doing anything else. Maybe those will work for you too. Maybe you have some other way to stay off the games. Something has been working so far.

@Lampshade Thank you very much. I'm glad I made it this far. @Pochatok Thank you. I will do my best to enjoy it. Positive: Well. It's my first days after the 1 year mark. Gonna try to live it up in my game free paradise I've made for myself. I plan to exercise, clean and meditate today. But I'm also trying to watch tv and once I get going with the tv it's kind of hard to stop. So I think I'll just set a timer for four pm and try to do all that stuff then. I'm kind of happily amazed at how I'm still so into watching the flash even though it's my second time through. My client went through it like 5 times or more. He was my original inspiration to re watch shows. I'm happy and excited about getting to a year. I feel like I'm doing good. I still think about games/gaming sometimes, but I know this life free of games is better for me. So i'll keep trying to stay game free with y'all. Maybe gonna buy some pants today from goodwill. Gosh I'm such a like tv bum. I just want to lethargically sit around and stream all day. Oh well. I'll get some stuff done too. We had a party last night. It was okay. I didn't really get along with anyone there aside form my mom. So I'm kind of just glad it's over with and my house is quiet again. I think I'm really introverted because I like it quiet all the time. I don't even like music. I smiled at introverts I accomplished eating avocado I am grateful for introverts, introvertedness, avocado, eggs, turkey bacon, toast, cheese, water, yogurt, sugar free stuff, God bless

Positive: I'm 1 year free of video games. Yes that's right. I have not played games for a year now. It's pretty amazing. I don't have much time so maybe tomorrow I'll put up a post where I tag everyone and say, happy 1 year celebration everyone. It's a party. We did it. We made it to one year. That's a huge accomplishment. I never thought I'd make it this far. Whatever I'll just make it this post I have 4 minutes left. Big thanks and shout out to everyone who has helped me on my path to gaming sobriety on here : @Cam Adair @Marek @Icandothis @BooksandTrees @Phoenixking @chiliflavor @ceponatia @Laurie @Lampshade@DaBest @Bird By Bird @Pochatok@dasvira and everyone else I forgot to mention. Thank you all so much for being here for me. Reading your posts and comments has helped give me strength to keep game quitting. And thanks to Cam for creating this site that helped me get clean and stay that way for the first time in 31 years. Thank God I've made it this far. The longest streak I've ever had in my life. I couldn't have done it without GQ and everyone here on the forums cheering me on. I hope many more years are to come. Speaking of streaks I'm on day two of not masturbating. I feel surprisingly good about it considering I'm no where near the 6 month mark that I was at before. Yeah I kind of just fell off the wagon one day. Oh well, hopefully I'll make it to a year like I did with game quitting. God willing. So I've had two interviews and didn't get good vibes from either one so far. Hopefully I get good vibes and a good deal at one of my upcoming interviews. Fingers crossed. My mom of course didn't care that I got bad vibes because one of them was a good deal so she said go for it anyways. I kind of disagree. We'll see what happens. Hopefully I get some tv time this weekend. It'll be my last weekend with my 40" tv as next week I'll be picking up my new 70" tv. Hooray. My mom also graciously paid for it which was awesome. Big smiles. I smiled at tv I accomplished going to work I am grateful for everyone on GQ, 1 year, tv, work, new jobs, interviews, 70", 40", turkey sandwich, lunch. God bless

Yeah don't smoke. It's not good for you. Good for you resisting the urge. I have to resist masturbating and it's really difficult lately. I just don't have the willpower to not do it lately. I dunno hopefully that improves. I play the supportive role too, but haven't been able to find a good therapist. So whatever. I'm kind of over looking for one. Hopefully yours goes better.

Sorry about not being able to see your family for xgiving. That's lame. I've had xgiving by myself before too and just ate at boston market. It was a kind of sad xgiving. I hope yours goes well. At least you're calling your parents. Good luck with the golf sorry about your instructor or whoever being too repetitive. That sort of thing might be worth asking them to change. I have to ask my clients to change more often than I'd like as they repetitively do things that're bothersome.

@Lampshade Thanks so much. I do enjoy this rug a lot. I never knew I could like a rug before this. I've been watching tv with no rug just hardwood floors and didn't know until my mom put this rug in that it's awesome to have a rug around. Keeps my feet warm and looks great. Good luck in your rug search I hope you find a good one. Positive: 3 days off yeah. Wonderful awesome stupendous. Three days off this week. I'm gonna watch so much tv, eat food and pie. My mom got this double crust apple pie from costco for xgiving. I'm pretty excited to eat a lot of food and pie then go home and watch tv. Speaking of tv. The black friday sale went off and my card got declined because my bank thought that a tv was too big and random a purchase to approve. So I failed to buy a tv in the literally 1-2 minutes that the tv was in stock on walmarts site before it sold out. However, it said in 30 minutes they'd have more in stock which was weird but I waited anyways. 30 minutes came and no new tv's came up forp purchase. So I messed around on my laptop, prayed to get the tv. And by a stroke of luck happened to notice that the tv's came back in stock 33 minutes into the timer. It said only 3 left so I clicked as fast as I could to try to buy the tv not even noticing that it set my address to a walmart that's like 10 minutes from me instead of setting to my home like I wanted. Good news is it went through and I Got the tv. Bad news is I'm gonna have to pick it up from a Walmart near me. So all in all not too bad. I was lucky and feel my prayer got answered in buying the tv. I'll go pick it up on wednesday. It's a 70" Vizio and it cost 478$ which is like 100$ or so cheaper than the average price for that kind of tv. Yay welcome to 4k UHD HDR. A major upgrade from my 1080p tv. Anyways. I'm still looking for a job. The search is going okay. I have a lot of interviews piling up but no good leads so far. Just two interviews where I didn't like what they had to offer. All youth and no adults. Not good energy. Bad company reviews on indeed etc etc. I'm praying that I will get a good job where I feel good with the energy and get hours towards licensure. I had one lead on a client but they haven't gotten their paperwork in or scheduled so maybe they went with someone else I don't know. Yeah that side job isn't looking too good with the whole, zero clients situation I've got going on there. I don't know if it's going to pan out. Hopefully a new job does though. I smiled at rug I accomplished filling water bottle I am grateful for rug, water bottle, water, brita filter, brita jug orange one, white brita, GQ, still trying to nofap even though I'm not doing well at it lately, girls and god. God bless

Positive: New job interview today So it's sort of a not so great situation with finding a new job because I'm going to probably have to quit within 1-2 years. That's because I'm slowly gaining hours at my side job which I will hopefully eventually turn into a full time job. I guess that's fine and getting a new job is appropriate regardless. I hope this interview today goes well and it's a good fit etc. I smiled at quitting games I accomplished eating old spinach gross I am grateful for GQ, spinach, fresh food, saving money, eating lunch from home, not spending money on pizza, side job, new job, interview and indeed. God bless

Positive: I get to keep my rug. Hooray. My giant blue and white rug is staying. Halleluja. It will help keep my feet warm for many a day to come. My mom had a potential buyer but they decided they didn't want it I think they said it was too dirty. Oh well, now I get to keep it. Mhm. I enjoy this rug, it's not only warm, but looks nice too. Now I've just got to put my 40" tv back on it. I'm planning to attempt to buy a 70" vizio tv on black friday sale at walmart. It's 478$ and it's UHD HDR 4k 2160p. So that's a major upgrade on my 1080p 40" vizio I have now. I decided not to go with a Samsung because I had several samsung phones and ended up not liking the company after a while. So I don't really want stuff from them even if it is the best reviewed in the tv world. There are OLED tv's now which are better looking as long as there's not too much sunlight in the room. But they're like 3-4x as much money. A 65" OLED vizio is 1500$. So I'm just sticking with the upgrade I can afford here. Plus they don't do well in sunlight so no daytime watching will be disturbed on weekends. Meh. Gotta job interview today. Wish me luck. The company has 18 reviews at 4.1 stars average. Which is a really good rating for indeed. Most companies I see are 3 stars. The lady seemed nice on the phone, I hope I do well at the interview. I'll do my best and try to remember to print out and bring resume/references. I masturbated again last night. Darn it. I think I was under the impression that quitting would be easy so when things get difficult I caved. So I'm going to try to be serious about enduring the discomfort of nofap. That means being okay with just laying there in bed with a boner for like 8 hours with sex on the brain and nofapping. That's pretty much what I've got to do to continue with it. Maybe I could try opening a journal on their website. But I kind of don't have time for two journals. I barely make time for this one. I smiled at my rug I accomplished cleaning dishes I am grateful for rug, dishes, soap, glass tupperware, end table, lamp, bible, string, writing utensils, stand, tv God bless

@dasvira Yeah working less is good for me. 25 hours a week is considered full time for a therapist though. Positive: 3 days off this week I'm taking thursday off for xgiving so this week will be three days off because I'm not rescheduling on saturday. If the client wants to do friday evening we can but he never wants to reschedule and just cancels dead so whatever less hours for me this week. But at least I get an extra day off. I got my interview tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I'll try to remember to wear a dress shirt and my khakis. I gained too much weight to wear my slacks. I need to get bigger pants sometime if I ever have to wear formal clothes again for work that is. I'm almost through season six of the flash. It's about the same watching it through the second time. Hopefully I can keep going. If I can't I don't have much else I can do with my time due to my disorders. I smiled at progress I accomplished getting up I am grateful for progress, waking, xgiving, thursday, saturday, client, slacks, jacket, flash, day off, interview God bless

Positive: 2nd day off in a row. Yeah. It feels good to get two days off in a row. I could feel my anxiety yesterday telling me I had to go back to work after just one day off. But then I was like, no I get Sunday off too because I started working a little less. Go me. I'm still getting 24-30 hours a week so it's not so bad. For therapists that's pretty normal hours more than that is like burning yourself out from what my boss says. I feel better getting two days off though. I really hope I get a job soon. I want to quit and stop having to deal with my mean management at my current job. It's been pretty rough lately dealing with them getting on my case everytime I have to interact with them. I'm planning on working out, walking, journaling, reading a book on Japanese customs that's pretty interesting, and of course watching a bunch of tv. My mom's going to be out most of the day working and visiting friends. So I'm gonna pretty much have a whole day by myself at the manor. I suppose I could try to hang out with my co worker and get lunch or something. But I've kind of had cold feet on doing so for some reason. Maybe I just feel like I want to get a new job before I see her so I'm not in such a bad place mentally. I dunno maybe it'd be good to go see her anyways just to hang out. I could go to costco to get milk and gas. Hm. Maybe I'll go do that before I get started on the tv. I don't think there's anything else we need. Maybe bananas. People coming to our garage sale were interested in my Flash doll but it's not for sale. Good to know I'm not the only one who likes this thing. I smiled at flash doll I accomplished eating yogurt I am grateful for probiotics, flash doll, yogurt, rug we're keeping, yay warm feet on rug, hardwood floor, chairs, caning, jacket and long sleeve t shirt. God bless

Good luck good for u having hobbies

good job see you soon.

Positive: Weekend, yay. Phew. Made it through another week with a brutal ending. I got into my office for supervision and my boss was a total jerk to me followed by my new supervisor being a jerk too. It was a pretty crappy hour of my life and afterwards I just felt intense hatred for my boss and supervisor. It wasn't a good feeling. Then it extended to my mom and I was hating her too and wishing for those mean people to die and thinking about killing them. Yep, pretty normal night for someone who has to deal with this sort of abuse. I have a job interview Tuesday. I was thinking maybe I'll get the job and start next week. Quitting this week and skipping supervision would be so wonderful. Ah. A guy can dream. I don't even know if they'll be able to transfer my clients over. Maybe. Hopefully. They said they can do supervision for me so that's good. And the interviewer Kay seemed pretty nice. Well, nice enough anyways. I smiled at the weekend I accomplished eating yogurt I am grateful for weekend, yogurt, kay, dreams, new job, quit job, good feeling, mom, surviving abuse, nice people, God bless

@dasvira That was very wise of Marcus. Nice quote. Thanks for the good advice. It really isn't going to ever be a perfect no difficulties day at work and that's okay. I'll just keep doing my best to cooperate and get by with everyone in my life. Things have gotten a little better with the client. Positive: I have a big jacket Well. It's cold, but I have this big jacket. It's so big and warm that I'm apprehensive about wearing it because I might get too warm. Oh well. Anyways. My cravings have been kind of bad lately. I was fantasizing about calling a friend I used to do weed and games with and seeing if he'll play D2 with me. Not a good thought to have. I think it's partly due to my 1 year coming up. Maybe I'm getting nervous about it coming. Oh well, I'll do my best to endure. My mom okayed my idea to buy a bigger tv on black friday. So it looks like I'm going to be getting a 70" Vizio through walmarts website. This is going to be pretty nuts. I hope it's an improvement and I'm able to keep it without any issues. As long as it's an improvement I'll keep it and not return it. I'd always prefer to keep and use a thing than to return it. Well, this will be the biggest tv I've ever owned. It'll be pretty cool to watch my shows on there. I was pretty happy with my 40" and was ready to just continue on with that. But since my mom gave me the green light I guess I'm gonna give the 70" a shot. Maybe it'll be easier to read the subtitles on it. I smiled at my big future tv I accomplished texting sup I am grateful for big future tv, jacket, sup, texting, cold, warm, black friday, walmart, 500$ tv, improvement, metamucil, generic metamucil God bless

Good job getting going with studying. Something's better than nothing. And yes I remember not studying in school and gaming instead too. That's good that coldturkey is helping out.

@dasvira Thanks. I'm trying to only think positive thoughts about other people. Even if they don't always make that easy. I'll do my best not to think about them anymore than I have to in order to get by at work. Positive: still trucking With the new job I got that isn't giving me any hours so far, looking for new jobs and getting a new supervisor who I don't think I'm going to like. I've been really anxious and overwhelmed lately. So much so that I just feel like kind of dead and anxious all the time. It's really exhausting. My mom tried to give me a pep talk I guess and said to be tough and get through it until a new job appears. The job I already got was looking so good as I'm getting plenty of supervision hours, but now I'm not getting any client hours because I'm supposed to attract clients with my psych profile. And no one has responded to it yet. So I'm not exactly inspired by this job to think it's going to pan out and grant me any hours at all really. It'll probably just crash and burn from what I can tell so far. Yeah that's too bad. Anyways I have a few people contacting me about interviews so maybe I'll get a new job that'll give me hours. I smiled at power strip I accomplished yoga I am grateful for power strip, yoga, charger, tv, roku, remotes, lamp, bible, ramen, don buri, God bless

I like your phrasing of accepting your lot in life. I need to do that more too. The more I can accept how things are the more at peace I'll feel because I'm okay with my lot. Studying 10 hours a day sounds pretty ambitious to me. But good luck, if that's what you want to do go for it.

Positive: I get a half day today So it's nice to get a half day. Although today's a weird day because I'm taking my clients mom to the hospital for her carpeltunel surgery. That'll be interesting. Hopefully no fireworks go off. My client is a real handful and you kind of can't take him anywhere without him doing something that pisses people off. Like we went hiking and he started beating a metal sign with a stick and almost hit me with the stick too then refused to leave unless I played tic tac toe with him which I didn't want to do so I refused. And he tells people what change to give him back when he buys things from them. My main concern is he'll talk at the laptop while we watch it in the waiting room together and disturb other people at the hospital. Yeah that's probably going to happen and I don't think I can make him stop. He won't stop when I tell him to he just keeps talking at the TV while it runs. Maybe I could tell him we're not watching unless he's quietly watching. I smiled at the day I accomplished fixing the fire alarm I am grateful for the day, fire alarm, new battery, mom, ttt, fireworks, people, car, cold weather, calm, God bless

Good luck getting your work done. I know how it is struggling to get things done like that. Applying for license renewal is a bit of a process for me right now. I haven't found anything that cool to buy at antique shops but I feel you on things being more nicely made in the past. I saw some old superhero toys that I thought were cool. It's got character.

Good luck with the weights. Make sure the 45lb plates are olympic size I bought from Big 5 and they were smaller than normal size while still weighing 45

I see. I don't really know anything else, I'm just glad the breath meditation works well enough for me to practice daily. What's the Zen practice you do like? I could see if you've bonded with a more open style that vipassana could feel too structured. That quote from Marcus Aurelius made me feel better about my life and how I can only watch a few shows. Maybe it's not so bad to be watching only those few shows and doing so few things.