CornishGameHen

Thank you all who replied to my journal. I'll respond to all posts very soon, please bear with me. If I don't write down my immediate thoughts, they will fly out of my head like a bird leaving its gilded cage. Quit Gaming Day 5, why does it feel longer than this? slight urge to game, I'm sorting out emotions associated with this, I will describe further in 'additional thoughts' section Sleep went to bed at 1:30 a.m. yesterday, attempted to sleep at 9:30 pm but was up thinking and knitting woke up today at 7:00 a.m., not tired at all total of 6.5 hours sleep Exercise yesterday I didn't exercise goal today is walk around park for an hour, get outside and enjoy nature Reading (yesterday) I'm skimming through a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work" attention span still limited to reading 20 minutes at a time, with long breaks in between easily distracted at this point Computer use (yesterday) 1 hour browsing GQ forums, mostly reading other people's journals to get inspiration, posted to a few of them 1 hour watching farming documentary Hobbies (yesterday) 2 hours knitting 1 hour to prep another fabric --- ironed fabric first, then, cut out pieces with pattern outline, set this aside to sew today Social Activities (yesterday) 2 hours at knitting group, very fun felt physically tired after, possibly an aftermath of exerting myself socially, need to recuperate again, withdrawing into my shell Positive Thoughts I'm grateful for the sunshine and fall weather. I'm grateful for this forum and the supportive members. Additional Thoughts I had a slight urge to login to an MMORPG I used to play. Today the weather is a bit greyish outside and gloomy. It really affects my mood. I set a bright lamp beside me on the desk. It helps to have a well-lit room. So, I think the emotion I feel about gaming is that I miss the 'sunny' virtual reality of that game. Strange that a fake world can make me feel so uplifted. I'm not sure what I can do to off-set this. One idea I had in mind was to watch travel videos on YouTube. Why not look at real destinations that one day I can travel to? It could become a travel goal for next year, depending on my finances. So, I subscribed to Rick Steve's travel videos on YouTube. Maybe I'll watch a few as I knit today. Tomorrow is work again. It has been a great long weekend and going back to the daily grind has absolutely no appeal. Ah well. One must work to live. Typically, I'd go home after work and login to the game (mmorpg), wait for my online friends to login, and we'd trash some dungeons. Or I'd aimlessly explore that world on my own, without any real purpose or goal. I'd clock in about two hours of gaming, and go to sleep. Most days after work I'd be too tired to stay up and game. It is tiring to socially exert myself at my job, and thankfully this has prevented me from gaming beyond what my body was able to handle. As for the shunted sleeping pattern, I want to work on this. The holiday weekend didn't help either. So, this time I will turn off all computer devices two hours before bed, drink a warm glass of milk, attempt to meditate, and turn off all the lights an hour before bed. Staying still and lying on the bed to meditate will be something new to me. Cheers.

Eloquently written, BooksandTrees. I wish there was some magic wand that we can wave, wherein our wishes are granted, and presto! Suddenly, our soulmate is standing before us! I don't want to be cryptic about how lonely it is to be single, but it can be very difficult when you see other people who are truly in love with their SI, and we find ourselves going home alone every night. It is not easy. And I laugh to myself when I read blogs about single people living an amazing fulfilled life. Yes, that can be true in some areas, but there are bouts of loneliness that creep up and utterly consume us unawares. I suck at giving advice, but I'll share what helps me get through some of the loneliest times in my life. I remember that there are people in relationships who are lonely too. They have a significant other, but they are trapped in that toxicity. I know it's the worst thing to do, to compare ourselves, but it gives me perspective and maybe feelings of gratefulness that I am not in a similar situation. I also remember that the loneliness will pass. It will hurt like fire and brimstone from hell, but it will pass. And it's okay to feel that way sometimes. It sounds like you are doing so well in your journey without gaming, and I admire how far you've come. I truly hope that one day you'll find the right lady for you, as it seems that you're a very thoughtful and sensitive man. It was so nice to read this because I don't often understand a guy's perspective about love and relationships. It was nice to look at it through your eyes too, not that you represent every male out there, but it was still a touching post to read. So, thank you, and blessings to you. Peace out.

Inspirational journal, 30_yrs_of_gaming, to say the least. Wonderful news that you found your true soulmate, and kudos to you for keeping your gaming in check. :)

Social Group Adventure Wow. Just wow. So I came home tonight after spending two and a half hours at a local knitting group meet-up. And I was shocked to my socks. I met a bunch of ladies, of varying ages, ethnicities, and social backgrounds. And man, were they ever bad-ass knitters. And I mean that as a compliment. Almost all of them sported tattoos, except for three people. They talked (or rather 'we' talked) about everything under the sun. Politics even, sex, movies, and everything in between. I was laughing so hard throughout the entire night, and was so surprised at this outcome. I've joined up to the next meet-up in two weeks. I had such a good time lol. For all of you naïve people out there who stereotype a typical knitter.....this group will throw that idea right out the window lol. Hm....now I'm thinking about getting a tattoo! lololol Peace out.

Hey Natalie, Good to read some of your journal and progress! I'm also trying to get back to reading scripture from the Bible too. My background is Christianity. I don't have time to read everything you wrote right now, but will do that a bit later this week. It's inspiring to see that you're reaching your goals.

This is a good reminder because it safe-guards our self-esteem. It's so easy to compare ourselves, I have done it multiple times. It's not easy to steer clear from those thoughts. But RezaMrb made another good point; write everything down that you've accomplished, or want to accomplish, or would like to improve on. Write it down. It's basically a history of written accomplishments that will remind you how far you've come. It will also inspire you, I think. I decided to create a journal on here even though I'm not so addicted to gaming, the journal will help focus my ambition into narrow goals that I am able to accomplish over time. I used the 'search' button for ''social anxiety' to find your post, btw, and others who also experience SA. I cope with the same thing, and for a time I felt badly for myself too. But we can only grieve so much. We must take action to change our circumstances, and not wait around for us to 'feel' motivated. It's actually the opposite. Action 'precedes' motivation, which will then increase motivation. If that makes any sense?

Hello, thank you for sharing. I too have social anxiety. It took me a long time to forge an acceptable social mask that I use to hide my disorder. Most people would not believe it if I told them. Only close family and one friend knows about it. Your boredom could be a case of dopamine reuptake disruption. All the video gaming (even the WoW gaming you did on your 4 weeks off), could have impaired your 'feel good' chemical levels. So, don't blame yourself entirely. Video games do that to people who are addicted. And Cam mentioned that it could take longer for people to recover, which is more than three months of gaming abstinence. As for the social anxiety, it's easier said than done to recommend you join a sports group of some sort. It helped me in my past. I joined all sorts of groups like running, kayaking, indoor rock climbing, and even dragon boat racing. I met a lot of nice people. Unfortunately, friendships didn't carry over after the sport season ended. I think it was my lack of reaching out too, which put the nail on the coffin. I haven't joined any sports group recently because I have no interest or energy. I've noticed I do a lot of solitary things like hiking, so I might join a hiking group soon while the weather is still nice. So, that's the true test. It's about putting yourself out there in social situations, getting people's phone numbers so you can hang out, and continuing to nurture those relationships by phone calls, texts, whatever. I'm not an expert. But this is what I must do to cultivate a social circle. And I am starting from ground zero, the very beginning. Don't lose heart. You are not alone in this struggle, and it doesn't mean you are less of a person either. You have the desire for social interaction, and that's a healthy start to your journey. Take care, and hope to hear more about your steps towards a better life.

Ok so I have no real urge to login to any game so far. Instead, I feel relieved that I don't have to login to a game because at the moment I just don't have the energy to deal with all that visual stimulus. It's the exact opposite of addiction. I feel a loss of interest, especially with games that involve multi-players. I'm avoiding them because it was turning me into somebody I didn't like. highly irritable impatient fatigued poor sitting posture and residual lower back pain isolated distracted me from other hobbies that I enjoy hyper-alert The single player games that I have on Steam have also been avoided. I finished 3/4 of them in the past, and have no real interest to do them all over again. I'm bored of them too. I'm really not sure if this is the forum I should be posting in, as the root of my problem is about increasing my social experiences and hopefully social circle, outside of a gaming environment. I'm not sure if I'm really addicted to gaming. And four days not gaming isn't really enough time to make any conclusions.

I think you're smart to join LinkedIn for future jobs. It's a start and it will definitely get you networking with potential employers. I think it's normal to feel anxious about this too, especially if it's something new to you. But you'll do fine. The important thing is to actually 'do' it, that is half of the battle. :)

Quit Gaming Day 4 no urges to game, but felt urge to check Discord channel for responses to messages Sleep went to bed at 2:30 a.m. last night woke up at 9:15 a.m. about 7.5 hours of sleep felt groggy waking up, not a good sign browsed too much on Game Quitters last night, so must turn off all electronics/computer/phone an hour before going to sleep Exercise went for a nice walk outside in the park with my dog, gorgeous day too 1 hour of brisk walking Reading nothing novel-based can't seem to concentrate much on reading extensively right now, other than reading about sewing techniques online sewing blogs = 1.5 hours reading Computer use approximately 3-4 hours of reading GQ, sewing tutorials, watched a documentary I'm not beating myself over this right now, as it's not gaming, and I'm reading to build knowledge, especially with my crafts Hobbies finished my leg warmers yesterday, didn't need to wet-block them, wearing them right now! lol cooked left-over turkey, brussel sprouts, gravy Social Activities spent the day with my dog yesterday lol actually this was pretty cool, I saw a man feeding the birds at the park and we spoke for a short time. Mostly about the weather and birds. It was not my usual thing to stop and chat with strangers while strolling along the lane with my dog, but it was a nice experience. Making these small connections matters in life. Positive Thoughts I'm thankful for my faith in God, my sisters, parents, dog, and career. I'm glad to be who I am; a creative and thoughtful individual who has faults but is willing to be brave and challenge herself.

It's really cool to meet another female ex-gamer on here. Thanks for responding to my journal. Like I said before, this forum has a large male demographic, and I felt a bit uncomfortable joining in the first place. And many are also younger than I am. Needless to say, we're all in this together for a single purpose; to quit gaming, and rejuvenate our lives. For that, I am grateful for Game Quitters. As for knitting, yes, I do knit. But I am also a novice...lol. So, not sure if I can give you good pointers (pun intended). Good idea to abstain from social media. I don't have a Facebook account for that very reason. I think it triggers me to compare myself to others. But in reality, those people also go through the trials of life too, perhaps some less traumatic than others, but life is not easy sometimes. We all put on this brave face or façade to make it appear ideal, maybe as a buffer to prevent ridicule or judgement. In hindsight, I think that just builds walls. People gravitate to others when they can empathize and relate to circumstances they've also experienced. You can't really relate to people on Facebook that way. It's quite superficial. I am doing alright. I believe in the motto 'slow but steady' wins the race. I'm not sure I'll be posting on a daily basis. I tend to pitter out over time with journals, unfortunately. And at this stage of the game, I think I'm brain-farting all over the place with thoughts at random. Nothing really has any coherence. Maybe this is the emotional build-up of detox? lol. Well, whatever it is, at least I'm getting to the root of the problem. Processing.

Social Anxiety I work in a career that caters to helping sick people. It's a people-job, yet I am not very well suited to it. I hide a lot of my social anxiety through a mask that I wear to my job every single day. I'm also introverted, so the energy required to be around people is overwhelming to me and I end up feeling quite drained. That's why I chose to go part-time for now, to allow my mind and body rest until the next shift at work. Gaming with strangers online, talking to them on Discord or TeamSpeak, was an easy way to socialize. It also kept me house-bound, and a bit isolated from meeting people face to face. I suspect that a lot of gamers are introverts or have shyness/social anxiety issues. I have felt a lot of shame about my SA. Despite coping with it, I did have two long-term relationships in my life, and a large social circle. When my relationships ended, I was back to square one, being alone. My significant others' friends also left, as it was too awkward socializing with them after the break-ups. Understandable. I just turned forty last year, and I'm still alone. I haven't been on a date in over seven years. Yup, it's been a while. I'm scared as heck of the dating scene too, and I am definitely not an online dater. Consequently, while gaming, I developed a crush on somebody that I gamed with regularly. But he was off limits due to his own relationship problems, and other issues he had to sort out. I confided in him that I had a crush, and he quickly dismissed it with a laugh. We continued to game together, but I knew that my naïve decision to tell him about my feelings had somewhat changed how we behaved around each other while gaming. It resulted in just a friendship, which did not extend itself outside the gaming arena. . I felt lonelier than ever. It quickly dawned on me that I can't spend the rest of my life hiding behind a computer, and filling a void. Online friendships are no substitute for real life relationships. Don't get me wrong, I still consider these people my friends. They know things about me that are quite personal, and vice versa. It's quite a phenomenal occurrence, actually, that people are brought together through a gaming experience. But I digress. My social anxiety has continued to be a crutch, deterring me from getting out there to mix and mingle, not necessarily to find a date, but to find new friends again. I'm doing my best, though. I'm starting with a small meet-up group that shares the same interests as I do. I'm boring..lol....I just love doing crafts, so I joined this group. I'm not big on sports or clubbing, or all of the modern things that maybe younger people are up to these days. I just want to test the waters a little, to see if I still have the ability to make new friends and brave the outcome no matter how it turns out. So yeah. I don't want to use gaming as an easy fix, or a place to hide away from the world anymore. I also want to be a bit choosy about which social outlets I want to attend. I guess I'm finnicky that way. When you've been tucked away in a clam shell for so long, you don't want to throw yourself into some frenzied crowded and noisy room. I have to start gradually and aim for small successes. Baby steps! Lastly, even if I do end up alone in life, meaning without a significant other, it doesn't mean I have failed, or that I am doomed. At least I can say that I tried, and I put forth a brave face in a world that can sometimes be cruel. I hope that I can learn from these experiences no matter if they result in good or bad outcomes. Peace all, and thanks for reading. I am so long-winded! lol

Hi. In my quest to determine if I am addicted or not to video games, I happened to do some reflection this afternoon about how my personality changed as I played an MMORPG. Now, I'm already a testy person by nature, I just have a short fuse sometimes. But when I grouped up with people to complete a difficult dungeon, I'd easily get irritated over and above my norm. My irritation would sky-rocket from zero to ten in under thirty seconds, especially if we were up against a tough pull. I didn't rage at people in the game, as in swearing left-right-and centre. But boy did I show colors I didn't want to show. I could empty a room with my tone of voice sometimes. And it wasn't easy to calm down either. I'd feel tension in my neck, shoulders, ringing in my ears as if my blood were boiling. This wouldn't dissipate unless I went for a long walk afterward, which I rarely did. I'll bet my blood pressure went through the roof too. I hated myself for it. I spent some years practicing anger management strategies, but all that went out the window while playing video games with other people. That's one of the reasons why I want to tone down video gaming, or stick with single player games after my detox, if I decide to moderate. Or do away with gaming altogether because it drastically influences my mood in a negative way. I also teamed up with people who eventually broke and became irrationally angry too, due to the stress of a difficult fight. And I know these people weren't normally like this. It was a revelation to observe, and really disturbing sometimes. And we call this a 'game'? Yay, what fun.

I appreciate this answer. I am not sure if I am really addicted to video gaming either. I'm here to experiment and determine if I get any cravings at all, and what emotional response manifests when I crave games. What part of gaming do I crave? And if I cave into the crave, will I lack the control to stop gaming? I've been a casual/moderate gamer the past couple of years, with some intermission as well wherein I didn't play video games for weeks. At one time I was addicted, but there was also a family tragedy that I was trying to cope with.

Hello William, It's good that you posted and shared. Whatever you can do to get away from gaming, do it. Please watch Cam's videos on YouTube as well. They are quite inspirational and cut right to the point. I know that reading posts here can be almost overwhelming, with the amount of journal entries and posters. Watching his videos is a quick way to remind yourself about gaming addiction and its pit-falls. Keep in touch here, write a journal, etc. Best regards.

You have a vibrant way of describing your turmoil with gaming. For a person who speaks a different language, your post was very well written. Anyway, moving onward to what you wrote. I think you have very good intentions. I hope you are able to follow through somehow. It's like biting the hand that feeds you, as an analogy. You work in the industry that pays you, yet you loath it as well. I used to play a game which incorporated loot-boxes into the system. You'd buy the keys with real cash, open the lootbox, and voila...your reward can be anything of value for armour or jewelry, or nothing of value at all, like cosmetic clothing or stupid housing items. It bled the community dry and many people left that game because of nature of gambling. And it catered to people who didn't have much time to play. (like me, for example). You buy the lootboxes to get the armour, which would allow you to join raids that required better gear to play the dungeons. So, now you're combining gambling addiction with gaming addiction! I hope to hear about your efforts to combat this problem in the future.

Hello Heather, I liked reading your post. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are doing ok with the detox, if you have already started it. It would be cool if this forum had a sub-forum for single parents too.

I don't know if my experience is similar to yours, OP. But a few times this year, I felt like I was watching myself do things, as if I were another person watching 'me'. During those times I was also going through a period of depression. I don't know exactly why I did that, but maybe it was a way to distance myself from the harsh reality of my depression. And I was ordering myself around too. Like, I'd say to myself "Silly girl, go over there and wash those dishes!". Mind-body detachment or something strange like that. It was the only way I could focus on getting anything done around the house.

Thanks for sharing, OP. I appreciate your words and honesty. There are stages of withdrawal and it will be hard for probably the first month. I think it's a grieving process too. I mean, you spent all that time developing certain gaming skills, things you have mastered. Letting that history go is a major ordeal, so I don't blame you for the thought-wars going on in your head.

Your journal is very goal-focused. I really enjoyed reading it. I gathered significant tips that I can also use on my journey. One thing I noticed was that you have real life friends who game. I can only imagine how difficult that is for you. There is definitely a peer pressure 'pull', for lack of a better word. It's pretty amazing that you've turned away from that, risking your friendships too. However, I think in the end, you will be the one reaping the benefits for all your hard work. Also, I want to point out that it's not really about the quantity of tasks that we do throughout the day. It's how much we value each task, and more about the quality. In other words, does it give us a sense of satisfaction? As this is the feeling we acquire from gaming, a sense of satisfaction of mastering a skill, etc.

Gosh journal writing is addicting! lol Ok, I'm back again to figure out how I want to format my journal. I looked at a few journals and I really like the idea of plotting my sleeping schedule, which truthfully has gone amok. I normally get about eight hours of sleep a night, but on my days off work I don't really regulate it. I'll also jot down the activities I did and goals I accomplished the day before, or end of the day. So, I might have to schedule my journaling to a certain time of the day too. I don't want to be writing all day at various times. It defeats the purpose, and I'm transferring one obsession to another. Here goes. Quit Gaming Day three, quit cold turkey on Friday October 11, 2019. goal - quit gaming for one month initially. After a month, I'll decide whether to go another two months = 90 days. determine what draws me back to gaming on a casual basis, and do I need to eradicate it from my life entirely, or can moderation be an option without guilt? Sleep went to bed yesterday at 1:00 a.m., and woke up at 9:30 a.m. total of 8.5 hours of sleep still felt tired after waking up goal is to wake up at 6:00 a.m. Exercise no exercise yesterday. goal is to attend the gym early morning, work out for one hour sadly I haven't been to the gym in seven months, and I have a monthly membership going to waste! Reading I read a sewing blog yesterday to learn the basics. I'm a novice sewer. Read it for about an hour. Computer use I spent an hour watching a sewing tutorial about how to make a skirt 1 -2 hours reading Game Quitters forums (this will be cut down substantially over time) 15 minutes sending messages to my friends on Discord that I'm taking a break from gaming 30 minutes watching a documentary Hobbies yesterday I knit for about two hours, almost finished my leg warmers spent an hour cutting out the sewing pattern onto traceable paper Social Activities none. Sadly, I didn't go to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. I was not feeling well, and didn't have the energy to exert for socializing. Positive Thoughts Be kind to yourself. You can have bad days too, but it doesn't mean you are a bad person for it. We are only human.

Journal Entry #1 (official) Alright. Here goes. Three days and I haven't gamed. I don't feel the slightest inclination to login to my games either. My thoughts are focused on a knitting project that I'd like to complete today. It is 95% finished. All I need to do is wet-block it lightly and sew in the remaining strands. Next project? My sewing. I'm creating a skirt out of material that I purchased two years ago. I have such a large stash of material that I can pretty much establish my own fabric store if I wanted to. Thankfully, I haven't bought new material in two years, so it's time to keep myself busy! I'm carefully observing where my thoughts are veering, and sometimes I think about the MMORPG I used to play. And the first thoughts that come up are: I wonder if so-and-so is online and playing the game? Am I missing out? And here's the sad reality, everyone. Your online gaming friends will eventually find other 'friends' to replace you. Sad but true. Especially if they are the progressive type of gamer, aiming to conquer dungeon after dungeon, and to obtain a shiny new object/weapon/jewelry. They need 'you' to help them acquire these things, but are not really that interested in anything else. If you decide to leave the game for a season, you come back only to find out that you have to grind away to catch up with your friends. Hours upon hours upon hours of grind. Only to find out that when you catch up with your friends, there is another expansion awaiting, which boosts the level up again, and you must grind away your life to reach that new level. The carrot-on-the-stick method became very old, very fast. I credit burnout for leading me to quit the MMORPG. I am saddened about one thing, though. The loss of a superficial connection with those friends. Some of them I spoke to on Discord often. We'd share jokes, or how our day was, or what other things we were doing besides gaming. It was somewhat balanced in conversations. I think I miss that the most. The camaraderie. But it wasn't always consistent. Some people wouldn't login for days, or weeks. Some friends left the game for good. It became too sporadic. Unreliable. And when they'd return to the game, you'd get a message to group up again, and the cycle would begin. I don't know exactly what that did to my brain, but emotionally I just became 'numb'. Because in the gaming world, people come and go so quickly. You don't know who is coming back or staying. I started to realize that this type of 'friendship' was sub-par to what I truly need in life. Yesterday, I joined a knitting circle group that meets once a week close to my home. I got in touch with the lady who leads it, and she sounds quite friendly and nice. It's a smaller group of people, but I find this rather suits me, as I'm very shy and quiet at first. Walking into a large group is quite intimidating. I'm looking forward to it. :) Quit Gaming Sleep Exercise Reading Computer use Hobbies Social Activities Positive Thoughts

Hello all, Great question. Well, I was an avid crafter for many years prior to my gaming 'career'. I've since returned to sewing and knitting. These crafts are goal-centred, and require much attention to detail and precision. I find that crafts offer me a greater reward compared to achieving goals in a game setting, because you have something to show and a tangible object to admire. When I look back on all the hours I gamed, I said to myself, "Heck, I could have sewed or knitted this or that in the same amount of time!". It's very sad, actually.

I'm not very good at following a journal outline. I'll just try to plot down my stream of thought as it comes and goes. So, most of my journal will be tangential, zipping from one thought to another, and sometimes they won't be connected. My apologies in advance. There aren't many female posters in this forum, I noticed. So I feel somewhat out of place. Also, I'm a bit older too. But we will see how this goes and whether I want to continue hashing up my private thoughts here. So I'm going to start this journal because it's a place wherein I can reflect about many things I ponder about life, and also to keep my gaming in check. I typed an introduction last night, but I'll try to summarize what I wrote here. I'm a casual gamer. I don't play video games extensively, in that my gaming is probably one to two hours a day, four days a week. I work part-time, I have a few other hobbies, and I'm more of a home-body. Why am I here if I'm not even addicted? Well, in my past I did experience addiction to video gaming six years ago. My cousin passed away tragically and I found an MMORPG that I played from dawn til dusk, as a way to cope with that loss. It was a very bad time in my life. I didn't eat much, sleep, or socialize. Gaming kept my thoughts distracted from emotional stress. I had taken a leave off work too, so there was plenty of time to fuel this addiction. Fast forward to today --- I can say that I don't feel the urge to login to any type of game. I have a Steam account, one MMORPG that I've played for eight years, and then Runescape. All of those games I haven't even played in three days due to loss of interest or burnout. Especially burnout with the MMORPG. I think gaming can be very addictive, especially when you are vulnerable to that form of addiction. If you're stressed, you game. If you feel lonely, you game. If you are isolated and can't leave the house much, you game. That's how I see it. I'm not sure if there are studies to prove this, but that is how I fell into gaming addiction six years ago. I'm also writing in my journal for the following reasons: 1) To keep my gaming in check, as a way to prevent becoming addicted once again. 2) Determine the reason why I still go back to casual gaming. What purpose does it serve? Is it actually making me happy? How valuable is it in my life? 3) To be a part of a greater community that focuses on self-improvement unrelated to video games. 4) To establish an online network of like-minded individuals. 5) And most importantly, to accomplish new goals in my life, and to increase my sense of self-worth. Anyhow, I hope you found my post helpful. I don't know how to give advice very well, but I can tell you that I can relate to many struggles that people have about gaming addiction, even if I am not in that mindset right now. I have been there before, trust me. Blessings to you all.

Hello, I'm not much of a serious gamer anymore. I've only played a couple of single player games on Steam, Zelda, and another MMORPG which shall remain nameless. My total years span of gaming is roughly about ten years, and I'm in my early 40's. So yeah, I started gaming late in my thirties. Why am I here? Well, I hope I can fit in despite being a casual gamer. I came here because I admire how people set goals, and I kind of need that inspiration to stick with my own. I also joined because I want to keep my gaming in check. My heaviest form of gaming was about six years ago when I was going through a terrible depression after the loss of my cousin who passed away at the tender age of thirty-two. I'd game for about 12-15 hours a day, from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 pm. I was on a leave from work too, so it gave me plenty of time to game. Fast forward to the current time, I do not play more than two hours a day, and only about four days a week, at the most. I'm working part-time and have turned to other hobbies to fill my days off. So how did I go from extreme all-nighter gamer to a casual gamer? Maybe a few factors came into play. 1) The MMORPG that I used to play became 'grindy'. In other words it was repetitive, pointless, carrot-on-the-stick tiring, and had very little reward in the end. It was a time-dump. 2) I got caught up in different interests, particularly crafts such as knitting and sewing. Highly detailed hobbies that require much attention and time. 3) The MMORPG I used to play became 'expensive'. Having written all that, it doesn't mean that video-gaming is not addictive. I believe it can be. After all, I experienced that type of addiction in my early years. It was used as my way to cope with a bad situation in my life. And the other factor that pulled me into videogaming was the community aspect. The social ties that you form in video games, particularly MMORPG's is a very 'strong' pull. What's my ultimate goal? I'd like to decrease my gaming even more. I know that two hours a day, four days a week isn't much to some, but I think I would like to sort out why I'm still gaming in the first place. Is it replacing something in my life? Am I really happy gaming? Is it the social ties that keep me there? If I stop gaming entirely, but then go back as a moderate gamer, is that a fail? I don't know the answers, but in my journey I just want to bring a balance back to other areas of my life, and I wonder if gaming Is still tugging at me as a distraction. Anyway, thanks for reading. I have a lot of introspection to do from hereon. And hopefully I can come to some conclusive answers, if not any form of self-improvement. Cheers!