Icandothis

Thank you. I am still very much lost in this world though. At least in the present moment, there is peace and sanctuary and love. I have my next round of chemo tomorrow. I am not sure which is worse... the huge dose of steroids... that makes me feel amped out; or the chemo.... which makes me feel absolutely shattered. Ugh. Just 4 more rounds. Today is beautiful. Spending time with kids. Enjoying just relaxing and hanging out. Have beautiful day friends.

I love it too. So glad you have joy in your life. Sending love and infinite energy friend. Have a beautiful day.

One year game free. 🥳🎉 Air quality is back to a healthy range. I am working with the kids school on donating items to those who lost their homes in the fire. Not much to say... just really really grateful.

Hey.... I hope your doing ok. It’s been so long since you have been here, but your one of the first people I connected with on this forum. I hope your path became clear and thing shifted in the positive for you.

Baby at school. Older ones in distance learning. Full session of acupuncture Full session of yin yoga Deep deep healing and rest Early Grey tea Fog against the evergreens of Pacific Northwest is poetic Trusting God Have a beautiful day friends.

I really like this song. Parallel lines. Have a beautiful day friends.

Well my state as been declared a federal state of emergency because of the wildfires. Everyday for the past week... they kept saying rain will come and air quality will improve. Rain didn’t come... and the air quality has been hazardous.... and we have been stuck inside. I strive to find equanimity in these situations, know that this too shall pass. But today has been difficult. Praying for rain to help our state. Very thankful for federal aide and hoping these wildfires can be contained soon. Trust. Surrender.

I am so sorry for this. This is incredibly debilitating. When I first started chemo I had terrible night terrors. I would have terrors of being tied up and hurt. I would wake up covered in sweat and my whole body would be flexed. I then couldn’t go to sleep because I was terrified of having another night terror. Is there anything you can do to help with this? It must cause so much distress. 😞

Sending love friend. Hoping for a good nights sleep and relaxation in your body. Hugs.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers friends. BTW- my doctors continually say I am doing amazing in my treatment. I can’t help but think it’s from all the love I receive... so thank you. Just another beautiful day. Online schooling, chasing after my baby, making meals, chores. The is so much magic in the mundane... just being alive is a gift. Feeling tired now.... but just letting it be. My body is sending the message that I need rest. Baby is napping... time for yin yoga. Sending love friends. May you find some joy today.

Where are you going?!!! Hope you have some fun and relaxation.

If I had the option to send them back, I absolutely would. But here in PNW, they are doing “ continuing distance learning”.... basically online learning this fall. Deep deep breaths. I finished round 8 of chemo. So 4 more to go. The 21st, Oct 5th and 19th and then November will be my last treatment. And I am soo soo soo soo praying that this is it. That it is over. These drugs may be helping my body.... but they are killing my spirit. Also, the air quality here is hazardous because of the fires. Ranked worst in the world.... so any prayers of rain to help get rid of this smoke. And also there have been so many deaths... it’s just heartbreaking. 😞 Praying for families, praying for our earth. Deep breaths. Trust. Trust. Healing. Love.

Congrats on yet another milestone! You are doing so great and we are so proud of you! Be patient and gentle with yourself. You have already accomplished more then most will in their entire career. Have you connected with anyone who has already taken the exam? Maybe they could give you some tips or help encourage you? Keep going! You can do this. 🙂

I don’t know what to say. Just wanted to say hi to everyone and send virtual hugs as we journey together. Sending love and energy.

I am sorry about your therapy appointment... I am glad you got a good session in still. This is totally unsolicited advice... but my therapist gave this to me. She said maybe I don’t need to do or try to fix or look for a solution. Maybe I just to sit with feelings. In my case anger + pain + loss + grief + helplessness. I am not sure if it’s shame or exhaustion for you. Maybe sitting with those feelings and allowing them to be there... just as they are. Yes friend... there is space for this too. Maybe this might help? Sending love and energy.

Sending strength and energy to you for passing all your required exams. You can do this... you have the focus, drive, resilience and wisdom to achieve your goals. Have a beautiful day.

Yesss! Love comes from within. It comes from inside you, and you radiate this love to the world. This is such profound wisdom, and you are learning this so young. I was 33. I am so happy you are growing in wisdom and life. ☺️

And now we have fires covering the PNW. I mean really? I am trying focus on the good and on the beauty. My brain automatically hyper focuses on threats and danger. See the beauty. There have been so so so many magical things that have happened the past couple of months. Focus on this. The day after I was released from the hospital, I sorta hobbled to the park. While there, a man was playing a ukulele. He started singing me a song. And I danced and moved, surrounded by yellow flowers. The sun shining down on me.... it literally felt like the music vibrations + nature.... were breathing life and spirit back into me. Notice the spirit + radiance. The love is all surrounding us and within us. Have a beautiful day friends.

There was the most beautiful sunset the other night. My kids call it a cotton candy sky. Keep smiling at the sky my friend... it brings so much bliss. Have a beautiful day!

Over the past months I have struggled with my spirituality and faith. I came upon this quote by Emerson... and I resonate so deeply with it. Thank you all for thinking about my treatments. I am on number 8 tomorrow. Also, started posting on the American Cancer Society forum... so that has helped with this journey. Have a beautiful day!

I always come here... and don’t know what to say... as nothing relates to gaming anymore. My one class that I was suppose to take this fall fell through. I have no goals, priorities or to-do lists. And I know nothing. So I spend my days dancing and singing and playing and finding magic everywhere. Have a beautiful day friends. “Live life. Open your eyes”

Another round of chemo down. Another ginger, turmeric, black pepper and elderberry shot for today. And guess who will be making elderberry syrup?! All these berries were found on my walking trial. Have a beautiful day.

Hi! Welcome! This is definitely a warm and welcoming community and we are happy you are here!! No judgement here... only listening, compassion, and maybe some helpful hints. As for the chewing ice, have you had your iron checked? The two are supposedly related... I used to chew ice as well... then started taking iron... and the craving stopped. Thank you for sharing your journey here friend!!

Another round of chemo starting today. Round 7. They have reduced my chemo dose due to symptoms which I am beyond happy about. Hopefully this round won’t be as bad. I am going to be writing stuff that I am processing about my cancer. It just processing and thoughts that I need to get down. I keep wondering how I got cancer? Is it just a shot in the dark or is there something we can do to prevent it. I mean I meditated/prayed, I did yoga, I ate healthy... mostly paleo diet. How did I get here? I feel very vulnerable... because there are so many people trying to profit off cancer patients... take this oil or eat this pill. And my infusion nurses say it’s a crap shoot... that super healthy people come into the clinic who have down everything right. But as I look back over the past couple of years have been really tough. I have experienced sleep deprivation due to having a baby... which he is a gift and totally worth it. I maybe have not been eating a strictly Paleo diet like I am used to. And there is definitely a ton of stress from my toxic relationship. I talked to my modern medicine oncologist... who will not profit at all from any type of lifestyle recommendations. He said, “off the record... inflammation is a breeding ground for cancer.” He was very careful to say don’t quote him on this and this is not textbook. But he went on and on about how I needed to reduce the inflammation in my body. His main points were sleep, avoidance of caffeine, avoidance of lots of meat.... especially charred, exercise. I trust my oncologist and his advice... again especially as he has nothing to gain. So I suppose this is where I am at. Making efforts to reduce inflammation in my body. And wow writing this all out is helpful. And If you made it this far... thank you for listening and I hope you have a beautiful day.

Many monasteries are open for visitors for daily meditation. You should visit and see how you feel afterwards. I have always wanted to go to Amaravati... a forest monastery near London.