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Alex Nevins

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Everything posted by Alex Nevins

  1. I'm 17 years old and have been gaming since before I can remember. I've been thinking about quitting games for a while but I just kept getting back into it because I justify it as not being so bad. Just a fun pastime. But quitting gaming is going to be a bigger step for me. I want to get out of the vicious cycle I've established: games have been a place of deep escape for me, allowing me to cope with my parents divorcing, and living with my Dad who struggles to accept my being gay. I never had many friends, and in my Grade 12 year of high school when I moved with my dad to a new school I never even bothered interacting much with people. Just surface level: I never went out with people or did much with anyone. I was just stubbornly gaming and forgetting about it. Fortunately, I am smart enough to have academic success without doing much actual work. But as I move into university, I want to apply myself and explore everything there is to offer: I want to specialize and learn as much as I can. This summer I am going to take some concrete steps towards that life. Today I'm going to apply for a summer job (one close by my house as I don't drive--it scares me) and start my 90-day gaming detox. I want to take up yoga as well, but my old Dad looks at it as some weird thing just for girls. I don't blame him: he's an older parent an is concerned only with making sure I'm not uncomfortable. But yoga is something I want to do. For my detox, I know that I will be surrounded by temptations. I deleted the youtube app on my phone but I still have constant suggestions for gaming news. On my computer, I watch stuff like Game Quitters, but still, here are all those old Gaming channels "recommended for you". And beyond that, I listen primarily to video game soundtracks for music and I see video game stuff in everything: it takes the odd trigger that gives me the image of a game in my head, and I start thinking "Yeah, I can play some of that." But I want to go without gaming: I want to detox properly, so I can discover who I am capable of becoming beyond gaming. One of the goals I've set for myself is to start reading like crazy. I'm going into psychology and philosophy at university, so I'll be doing a lot of reading. And I'm excited! But my goal this summer is to read all of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago. It's a huge book that will require much fortitude to read: I want to prove that fortitude to myself as I read. Yesterday I read until my eyes couldn't focus anymore, and got maybe a fifteenth of the way through it. I think one of the biggest (and hardest) steps for me will be developing a social network and opening up my little introverted bubble. That way I will have people to talk to instead of video game characters, as I've had all my life (I played single-player games.) That's why I joined this community: I want some help. I'm going to keep a regular journal on here and look for some people I can talk to, no more isolation for me! Thanks for reading this super long one.
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