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About Erdall

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  1. I shall make a temporal stop to this journal's structure, but NOT to the journal itself, don't worry. I will just write something different than usual. To begin with, I had a kind of strong relapse, a quite one, truth be told. The worst happened when I had more than 50€s in my hands when my mother gave to me in order to spend for hanging around and sutff like that; but the truth is that I spent it in a MMO named FFXIV. I bought an expansion and one month of subscription because you have to goddamn constantly spend money on them in order to play said MMO. Anyway ... My point is: I initially failed this detox program, but I'm NOT willing to give up in order to retrieve my better self. In short, I'll restart as I must the journey to clear my mind of this toxicity and, who knows, if I'll really get back into videogames or not. I'm quite more unsure about it compared than before, but for what I'm more certain than ever is that the 90 Day Detox is a must to complete for good, or else I would just fail myself by not taking it quite seriously, really. Anyway, just wanted to say all of this. I'll restart the journal tomorrow or maybe today, who knows. I'll uninstall all videogames and begin anew, this time for good. Farewell videogames; for now, or not. I need to re-balance my life for good without you. Thank you for your kind understanding and patience. See ya later!
  2. DAY # 12 Time I woke up: Approximately 10:30 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 01:30 Physical task: Let's try some walks ... Mental task: I'm afraid none in specific for now. Projects: Improving my body! Miscellaneous accomplishments: - ... Summary of the Day: Healthy breakfast so far (a piece of fruit + glass of milk). Nice! What I am grateful for today: - Applied a new trick that would surely help me to make me feel and do better for the rest of my life; probably.
  3. DAY # 11 Time I woke up: Approximately 10:30 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 01:30 Physical task: A good walk and going to the cinema. Mental task: Reading (so far almost 30 minutes!). Projects: Retrieving myself for the better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Finally some proper reading for now, YES! - Discoverin a new way to improve myself. Summary of the Day: I think I hate now, more than ever, the word 'stress'. A lot. It seriously affects me in one way or another, specially when I feel hungry because of it (like it happened yesterday when I finally arrived to my destination in my first car trip and, from the tiredness of it at such late hours {it was around 23:30} + picking up things from my suitcase and more stuff like that, ooof ...). I can't easily stop it, unless I get better, preventive measures for the sake of my mind's resilience and strength. Luckily, I could read almost half of an hour today for now, during this morning. Very good, indeed! Now feeling a tad better at least! I got planned to go to watch another movie to the cinema once more during this afternoon. We shall see how things go before and after it ... But first, time for some small walking out there, I shall need a copy shop to print some things ... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Second part of the day, here it comes: it's been nice so far, BUT before I watched the movie, well, let's just say I had a kind of new 'revelation': I was sometimes reflecting how tiring is to sorely focus in my mind's well being, while I thought that, in the end, there was nothing wrong with it, right? I already realized I had to, quite so, leave behind videogames thanks to Game Quitters' tools, like the Hobby Tool, writing a journal or the 60 Hobby Ideas PDF. With such idea in mind, I had practically zero difficulties to begin quitting videogames, trust me. AND then there is my gluttony, which happens quite often if I overdo with my efforts and stress invades my mind, making me too hungry to devour, like, anything in my path. But what if the core of my own problem isn't in my mind after all ... ? I might mentioned once or twice (maybe, I can't remember now) that I have to loose like 10 kilograms or so in my body. I'm not teeeerribly fat, but for sure I need to loose such weight anyways. Thing is, being this 'chubby' never did any good to me. And by that I mean that it is veeery annoying to stand. Almost all times I'd like to avoid any mirror to look at me, almost all times I don't like how often I'm reminded of my weight (thanks, mom), almost all times I quite sweat like a pork and it's grooooss, and so on. Look, my final point is: maybe I don't have to focus that damn hard in my mind. Maybe the 'stress' in there is not that important if I could FOCUS where I need to. In my body. So, yep, as for the video I posted before in day #8, it focuses in three important daily routines that could improve your quality life: reading, meditation and fitness / diet. I quite tried a lot (since, oof, 'forever' I guess) the first two, but the third one, fitness ... not that much, since my idea was that my mind was the most 'messed up' part within myself. But nah, I can be quite smart, no worries. What I mean with my previous statement is: the bigger problem I have would be that I need waaay more attention / care to put effort with my body, instead of my mind. No worries, I think like a normal person with simple, common sense, come on. Is just that, sometimes, I could feel a bit depressed and other times not, for whatever reason. Maybe I put too much focus about it, truth be told. Anyway, now that I'm quite free from videogame's compulsion (which, remember, allowed me to read a lot better), that means I could do better than ever to take care of my body. Way before I tried like, two times, going to the gym to no avail (and other few kind of exercises, like a looooot of jogging, tennis, swimming even! And so on ...). Back then, I was too avid playing videogames yet, and stress could almost, as usual, win over me. But nowdays, today, is quite different. I have a new whole path before me, and so, maybe THIS is what I need, to put attention about fitness /diets and related stuff like that for the sake of my own body. I'm going to search, find and learn knowledge about how to take care of my body soon! Once I'm done practising fitness / diets in a more automated way, then I could get into more reading and meditation for sure. It is time to retake my life, by becoming the super version of myself! LET'S GO!!! What I am grateful for today: - Applied a new trick that would surely help me to make me feel and do better for the rest of my life; probably.
  4. DAY # 10 Time I woke up: 07:15 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 00:30 Physical task: Some work and packing up things. Mental task: Brief reading (around 15 minutes). Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Productive morning so far. - Got done some proper work and sayed my goodbyes to the company in which I worked within it. Summary of the Day: Decent breakfast so far, and ready to work. By the way, I may learned that, after a such, quite busy day like yesterday, I should priorotize by all means that I need to read first before I get into any load of work, like I didn't yesterday (I practically couldn't read because of such poor decision, as I was quite too tired after s much packing up things and stuff). We shall see how I make it work (after taking a decent nap), but I'll definitely try for sure! And so I did! I read (in a very brief lapse of time though) a book in less than 15 minutes or so. I ended that book anyway, as I was simply close to do that, and then decided to do a whole series of chores. Another busy day I'd say, but I finally was ready to go to another city (there was a first trip by car, yep) before returnnig to the native one by train. What I am grateful for today: - Applied a new trick that would surely help me to make me feel and do better for the rest of my life; probably.
  5. DAY # 9 Time I woke up: 07:45 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 23:45 Physical task: Doing quite a lot of tasks (A LOT) and, probably, taking a brief walk. Mental task: Unfortunately none. I was quite busy to even let relax my mind sometimes. Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Got done a lot of chores, many quite big, others not so big, but hey, here I am, being productive, . Summary of the Day: Decent breakfast so far, went to a couple of places and ready to work for now. So far so good, no big complaints here. After mere work, I returned to the apartment, and didn't do much else, except (kinda almost) decently eating and took a brief rest. Then, for like almost two hours, non stopped cleaning and packing up my suitcase for a small trip for tomorrow. I sweated quite a lot with this dang heat, but hey, I did it! I checked almost all possible corners if I could leave / forget something, but I think I practically got everything. What I am grateful for today: - Being productive like a boss for now, .
  6. DAY # 8 Time I woke up: 09:00 Time I went to sleep yesterday: Around 23:00 Physical task: Going to the beach! Mental task: Read a bit at least. Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Hanging around with some people in the beach. - Learning a new way to deal with my new challenges. - Controlled a bit better than usual my gluttony. Summary of the Day: So, I began with a decent breakfast, got done a couple of chores like laundry and little more than that, and I took a not-so-long walk on my own. After lunch, however, before it happened, I learned that my roomates planned to go to the beach for some hours during the afternoon. More frequently than not, specially with my badly managed money (now I do that kinda better, really), I'd say no to that; but this time, I just felt cheerful enough to say yes! So I packed up some things and we went there, enjoyed a brief (yet kinda cold, brrrr) bath and talked about some things. In the end, it was worth the trip and experience! But, the stress got the best of me once more by eating a bit too much during dinner. It was quite a mental exercise to stand on my own all of that, so I ended to eat a whole loaf of bread. The rest were just healthy food, but yikes. Regardless, as usual, I did waaaay worst by eating in an excessive manner, trust me. This time was not big deal, so I'd say that, as for today, it was 'ok' in gluttony terms. But then, I too realized, as I simply left behind again the meditation exercise I would need to do, well ... I thought that I wouldn't need to do that. Yes, as mentioned in this video***, only is required to master one thing before another. Two practically at the same time is quite too much, so I decided, from now on, to read a lot more and leave the meditation UNTIL I'm readier with my reading skills in a daily basis. That's all. Oh, and I read in this day, but not so much (around 15 minutes approximately). I guess because I was kinda tired from my night sleep, I don't know. But what I know for sure is that I'll focus better on that, more than ever, . P.S: I know I didn't do any jogging exercise as I promised yesterday, but is because the whole afternoon time was simply occupied by the beach excursion we did. What I am grateful for today: - A good day in the beach during the afternoon with some good friends, and learning that I shall master one thing after another. No more 'trying' to meditate until I learned first to read during my daily routines, . P:S: *** The video in question. It has a timestamp, check it out!
  7. Uh, you just need a strategy. Check this for hobbies: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/ And write a better journal by following some of these following templates: I'm also jobless, but I can do, for sure, many things thanks to the first link I gave to you. Best of luck!
  8. DAY # 7 Time I woke up: 08:30 Time I went to sleep yesterday: Around 00:00 Physical task: Take a simple walk, I guess. Mental task: None. Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Going to the company to work in some things of mine. - Achieving a new resolution in my daily routine! Summary of the Day: I began the day by eating a quite huge salad (only with tomatoe and white cheese), just because, LOL. Agh, only because I felt frustated again for not properly sleeping well at all. It was kind of a weird night but, despite the heat (but, in the end, there wasn't much), I HAD to close more the blind. Only then I could finally sleep with no light in my room at all. I let it semi-opened because I often like to wake up when the sun appears. Ugh, anyway ... Despite this, I hope I can further control my gluttony with more tips and knowledge I've been reading right now for it, like leaving some leftovers. But ... this didn't work. To be frankly honest, I only need to increase my resolution, my willpower, around something, somehow. That's when I realized ... My reading skills are practically unlocked once I began to leave behind my excessive gaming. What if ... ? Of course! By beggining tomorrow, I'll read in a daily basis for around 30 minutes at least (up to one hour maximum or so) a damn book. It's about time! Now that I recently could read with no problemo at all before, then it's time to begin with this! I can do this, for now I just have too much free time in my hands, but this will surely help increase my resolution and will to do things right! This, combined with some meditation and other healthy routines (like my quite abandoned jogging, ready to retake it tomorrow too!), I may recover in a jiff! LET'S DO THIS! What I am grateful for today: - Trying to learn from my mistakes and making a renowned resolution from it!
  9. DAY # 6 Time I woke up: Before 08:00 or so. Time I went to sleep yesterday: 00:00 Physical task: Practically none. Mental task: Practically none. Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Achieving a 'somewhat' measure against my gluttony. - Eeeh, some things done, small chores, etc. No big deal, though. Summary of the Day: I'd say more than 'boring', just, uhm ... not exactly mediocre, but rather, kinda 'inevitably bad'. I was in a car trip during almost the whole morning and big part of the midday, after I did another good morning routine, no excess in my eating during breakfast. Unfortunately, IF I'm not doing something minimally productive (or If I even overdo it), I may feel like 'stressed out' in my current state, like not feeling good for not doing something that really benefits me. So I turn my 'frustation' towards the food, eating quite a lot during luch time. BUT at least I moderated it with a simpe yogurt during dinner, and that's it. Since I'm not in my best 'personal spot' yet, I could feel kinda vulnerable if i'm 'exposed' like this. I don't know, I shall find soon some knowledge and information about preventing my anxiety for eating if this keeps up that easily. At least, I'm sure this time I can begin to focus better on other matters, now that I'm truly beggining to retrieve myself with this 90 Day Detox program. Some things are pretty easy for me, but others ... can be challenging. But, as usual, I am not giving up. I know there is a way, and I'll find it, no matter what. Hope I can do that sooner than later, now more than ever ... What I am grateful for today: - Learning something about my condition: hope some knowledge may help me for good against my anxiety for food, heh. - Another good morning routine, yes.
  10. Greetings! Check this: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/ Write a journal by following these templates! Also you may wanna listen to this: https://gamequitters.com/14/ Best of luck! ???
  11. DAY # 5 Time I woke up: 07:15 Time I went to sleep yesterday: 23:30 Physical task: Going out there doing a couple of things. Mental task: Meditation and (finally!) some reading. Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Made an excelent morning routine: meditation, some few stretching exercises, good breakfast and even took a shower. Pretty good. - Took another walk, no big deal anyway. - Controlling myself a bit better my gluttony. Summary of the Day: Woke up pretty early, and not feeling too sloppy from it. So far so good. Took a walk, all good for now. But in the end, it was quite a boring day. Wasn't able to do a lot, then I tried around afternoon reading something, and I was quite really surprised how easier became for me to read, wow! Truly, when you play videogames too much, makes you mind too dull to even properly process reading. Nice! This is what I was looking for! What I am grateful for today: - Waking up this quite soon and not feeling really tired for the moment being. Nice. Also, a very productive morning, yep. - No videogaming and EVEN no bad urges for it this far, not bad! - A pretty HUGE progression in my reading skills, oh yeah!
  12. DAY # 4 Time I woke up: 08:30 Time I went to sleep yesterday: Close to 00:30 Physical task: Taking a good walk. Mental task: Meditation (and trying to read while I can, if so). Projects: Specially none for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Visited a museum - Watched a movie - Took a pretty good walk at least - Got done many small chores and all Summary of the Day: Woke up pretty good, but a bit too tired too, I guess. Nothing too important so far, got into worst. Breakfast: Not bad / Lunch: Pretty good / Dinner: Okish (a bit of excess, but it wasn't that 'much', eh). We're making some good, but small, decisive progression here. Keep it up and we'll get in there for sure! I shall be honest, though. For the record, I tried two small, very brief sessions of videogaming of ten minutes each. Only that, period. And, shame on me, I felt ... nothingness. Nothing at all, truth be told, no excitment, no joy or something like that ... I don't know, I know for sure I hella grew tired for playing way too much, I guess that's why I have this easy from the beggining for completing this 90 Day Detox journey ... I only was curious anyway, sorry for breaking up the rule a bit, BUT it was at least to clarify how much it would take to retrieve my mind in order to properly enjoy more things. And I guess I'll have a really quite long way to go for now ... sigh. But it doesn't matter, I can do this for sure! Even if it takes me ten more days or so! What I am grateful for today: - I am feeling more and more productive, even for a bit, by every day. Nice! - I did a good variety of things. - Keeping it up and improving my life, little by little!
  13. DAY # 3 Time I woke up: 07:15 Time I went to sleep yesterday: Close to 01:00 Physical task: Taking few walks, I guess. Mental task: Meditation (and trying to read while I can, if so). Projects: None for now, jut trying to fill my boredom gaps and taking care of myself better. Miscellaneous accomplishments: - Got done quite some things, few chores over here and there. - Took a somewhat long walk. - Organized and scheduled future things to do for the next couple of days, at least. - Watched a movie, named "The Great Dictator", . Summary of the Day: Not big deal, but it wasn't bad at all, really. The only bad thing to say is, to be honest, to eat quite too much yet again. I guess if the stress is inevitable after I do whatever stuff I do out there, I may have only to endure. Good thing I'm feeling quite more positive every day pass without gaming. Trust me, gaming is quite not a temptive thing for me pretty much, since I got buned out of it. Also, no money for new games and no more MMOs for me, period. What I am grateful for today: - Being able to do a lot of small but a good mount of things done. - Feeling quite better. Pretty good so far, I'd say.
  14. First, you may want to check the Frequently Asked Questions here: https://gamequitters.com/detox/ Quite worthy the whole webpage, but put some special attention close to the end of it; BUT I am not in agreement with the following sentence, though: "The truth is, if you can't go 90 days without gaming ... you probably shouldn't be gaming." Quite too strong bias (and kinda 'demonizing' videogames too, kinda, eh) if you ask me, it seems just for trying to convince you to let go playing videogames, like, forever. Is there any kind of science reasearch backing this kind of statement? Truth be told, if you don't really want to play videogames, that's fine, really! But even if you make the simple 'mistake' of playing them yet again; is not the end of the world. Instead, seek what causes it and find the proper solution for the proper problem! Image. The real question is: for what purpose videogaming serves you? For me is between artistic, passion reasons and also, sometimes, for simple fun. This article can be quite interesting, why not. https://gamequitters.com/how-richard-kuo-plays-video-games-in-moderation/ Also, this video (with a three part series) could be somewhat helpful too! I'd say that in moderation all the damn way, for sure. You know there are even benefits for playing as many scientific studies already proved it. Problem is, how much you'd will to play? I'd advise a way of playing videogames, like, not so much by ONLY during the weekends. Trust me, when I was younger, it phenomenally worked for me. I was just busy in the midweek, doing a good variety of plethora of things, and then, close to the end of the week, I could relax a bit more and play like, every friday, saturday and sunday, just like 2 or 3 hours per day. In the long run, you can play a lot of games, just like I did. I'd really encourage to play like this. Further more than that could be riskier though. P.S: I 'may' try something like Tuesdays, Thursdays and exclusively weekends once I'm recovered but, truth be told, may be quite excessive for me. I swear when I played the way I mentioned to you (the only-weekend routine) while I was younger, well, it worked that damn good that I could barely feel, if nothing at all, 'tempted' to play videogames in the meantime, really. But in the end, is simply up to you what fits better; but please, do not tempt to play in too long sessions and not too many of them. ALSO, I'm afraid no MMOs, UNLESS you want to, like, exclusively play any kind of them during a month, then take a break or, well, if you enjoy it that much and keep exclusively playing it ... But the worst part about MMOs is that some like FFXIV, SW:TOR (it has a kinda flexible F2P system, but quite restrictive in some senses, truth be told) and WoW, you have to, at least, monthly pay them for being able to play. Bollocks I say, really. Not flexible at all, I'd be more into something like GW2 makes it echonomically. BUT, FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH, you shall need to complete some kind of program like the 90 Day Detox, then you can decide what else to do once you're in full control of yourself. Remember to use this (https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/), try to listen to this (https://gamequitters.com/14/), and write a Journal here! Is really easy to do it! https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/forum/11-daily-journals/ (READ this too for making your journal a lot easier!) ---v Good luck! ???
  15. Appreciated @macpowers1, I also got into my hands this great webpage too -> https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/ Anyway, thanks for the podcast, very interested to listen!
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