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George Wyatt

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Everything posted by George Wyatt

  1. Day 43 -- 06/20/19 FOG 106 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOP 136 Days (Free Of Porn) NT 11 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) FOF 1 Days (Free Of Fapping) Had a fairly lazy day. Watched a lot of tv, but also spent some time thinking about my journey thus far. I've realized that although I've come quite a way, I haven't really addressed the needs that gaming fulfilled. Answering those four needs going into summer is something that I really want to try. I've outlined a rough daily structure to test out tomorrow and in the coming days. We'll see where it goes from there.
  2. Day 38 through day 42 -- 06/15/19 through 06/19/19 FOG 105 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOP 135 Days (Free Of Porn) NT 10 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) FOF 0 Days (Free Of Fapping) Working back into habits slowly. Had a hard depressed stretch. Doing good now. Read Bill Browder's "Red Notice" over the weekend. It was interesting.
  3. Day 37 -- 06/14/19 FOG 100 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 0 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 130 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 0 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 5 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 5 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 0 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) NTV 0 Days (No Television) What happened today Woke up at 5:50. Read Red Notice for 35 minutes. Had some chai green tea, worked on a sudoku and then walked to school. I feel confident about my french exam which took about two and a half hours. Walked home after and had lunch, worked on some sudokus and then proceeded to go on a TV binge. My dad knocked me out this long enough to go for a 30 minute 5k run, later go on a drive up to Costco and even helping him reorganize the fridge, but I always returned to the TV and now I'm up late. It's obviously being triggered by something that is weighing on my mind. I spent a lot of my day escaping. It could be that I'm worried about my exam on Monday (didn't touch my math all day). I also think that the realization that I'm almost done high school and have developed very little is freaking me out. I'm looking around me and seeing people who have built their lives through hard work and have actual goals. I, on the other hand, have always been a piece of dissociation, I just wouldn't admit it. I would judge myself really hard and tell myself that I could do better ; that I could do incredible things. That I was an incredibly competent person. I would fantasize. But when it comes down to it, I have always been lazy and afraid. I don't really know how to face that. I know that not delving into escapism is the first step, but every time I take a step forward I feel like I take two steps back. I just reached 100 days without gaming and I don't even feel like celebrating. I feel like I'm letting myself down and not doing as well as I should. This might stem from last weekend, which was difficult, or this week which hasn't been much better, but I just feel like I don't know where I'm heading. I know that this is part of embracing the uncertainty of life and that overcoming this is important, but I feel like it's an endless slog. And it's not as though I don't do well at school. I'm one of the top students. But that just makes it harder, because I know that I'm not developing important study and disciplinary habits that I'll need in the future and there are certain expectations and assumptions people make about me because of my grades. It's also the end of the school year and Monday is my last exam (calculus). After that, the training wheels are off and I have to get through the summer. Having that much time on my hands is a scary prospect. Last summer, I played video games all day every day during the summer. I don't want to be that person but I'm afraid that I'll become like that again. I'm just feeling the pressure. Got to get my thoughts together and figure out a game plan and accept that I can't control everything. It's late (11:35) and I'm calling it a night.
  4. Day 36 -- 06/13/19 FOG 99 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 0 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 129 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 0 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 4 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 4 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 4 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) What happened today Woke up at 6:20. Worked on a Sudoku and had some chai green tea. Studied biology for 10 minutes before walking to school to study until the test. Once people started to show up, we all quizzed each other. Went for a walk for about half an hour somewhere in the middle because I needed a break. Did the exam at 1 and it went well. Then chatted with some friends and then with Auriane for a while before walking home with my sister. After school, I ate some chicken pot pie (leftovers) and finished a sudoku. Then did some reading about yoga. Ran a sub 2 minute 600m and then ate supper. Drove my sister out to her riding lesson and spent an hour and a half just chilling with the horses. Drove her back after, spent a couple minutes on Duolingo working on my plural verbs, and now I'm planning to wash my face and go to bed. The plan for tomorrow Nail the french exam. Study math in the afternoon.
  5. Day 35 -- 06/12/19 FOG 98 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 3 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 128 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 0 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 3 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 3 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 3 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet) What happened today Woke up at 6:20. Worked on a Sudoku. Washed my face. Went to school. 1st Period : Worked on Integrals and chatted. 2nd Period : Studied Biology. 3rd Period : Free period. The whole class played just dance. I did 2 rounds. Not counting this as gaming because although it was a fun experience I don't plan on repeating it on a regular basis. Lunch : Went for a walk around the block and chatted with friends. Someone brought me a cookie! 4th Period : Scattegories and eating cake with the drama class (the show went well last night and they invited me to come celebrate). No PA. 5th Period : Chatting with friends, playing Rummy and doing class Kahoot games. After school, walked home and spent 45 minutes on Duolingo doing general review. Had some chai green tea and went for a 50 minute run (including warm up). Did a little biology. Washed my face. Went to bed at 10:40.
  6. Day 34 -- 06/11/19 FOG 97 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 2 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 127 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 2 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 2 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 2 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 2 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) What happened today Woke up at 6:20. Worked on a Sudoku, did some dishes, put away some other dishes and changed the milk and hemp seed bags. Washed my face. Walked to school. 1st Period : Worked on Integrals. 2nd Period : Studied Biology and worked on the formative pack. 3rd Period : Studied Biology and worked on Integrals. Lunch : Worked on Integrals, then chatted with friends. 4th Period : Kahoot + 5 minutes leg stretches. PA : 5 minutes jumping rope + Integrals + Biology study. 5th Period : Biology Study. In the last 10 minutes I mentally fell apart. Just kept my head down on my desk till the bell rang. After school, walked home with my sister (I didn't talk at all). Spent the next hour and a half alternating between crying and looking up google facts on depression. Not fun, but came to the conclusion that I am depressed. Had a conversation with my mom about it. She was very supportive. Ate some food and then drove over to do my volunteer work (lighting) for Mrs. Michelle's play (about 2 hours total). Afterwards, talked to a good friend a bit and drove home. Ate supper. Now I'm typing this (8:51). Going to shave and wash my face and then do a little bit of Biology. Then I'll go to bed. It's been a long day and I need some sleep. EDIT : Ended up making some herbal tea (peppermint and vanilla), reading 10 minutes of Anna Karenina, washing my face, trimming my nails and then going to bed at 10:10. The plan for tomorrow Wake up 6:20. Do a morning activity (exercise, meditation or stretching). Maybe do some reading and spanish. Have breakfast and try drinking some tea. Take a shower and wash my face. Walk to school. At school, study Biology for the test tomorrow. Definitely get in a workout before the end of the day (I mentally need it haha).
  7. Day 33 -- 06/10/19 FOG 96 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 1 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 126 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 1 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 1 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 1 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 1 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) What happened today Woke up at 6:20. Walked to school. 1st Period : Drew and zoned out in class. Our teacher handed out some new homework. 2nd Period : Handed in my biology project. I knew that it wasn't my best work, but I've come to terms with that. Then we received our review sheets for the test on Thursday. 3rd Period : Watched our Rube Goldberg project videos. Then had a free period. Spent it playing cards with Justin and Will. Lunch : Went for a walk and contemplated how to move forward. 4th Period : Went to an award presentation. It was fairly boring. PA : Spent half an hour stretching in the weight room. 5th Period : Went to finish the antacid experiment at the lab. Officially the last piece of chemistry work for the year. We are now done chemistry class. After school, I went to the theater and spent 3 hours doing lighting for Mrs. Michelle's student play. The show is tomorrow night. After that, I walked home and ate supper. Then I did the dishes, drove out to pick up my mom from the airport, had a good conversation with her about my ordeal with the biology project and then came home and ate some candy with her and my sister. Now I'm writing this (9:22) and afterwards I plan to shave and wash my face before going to bed. EDIT : Ended up watching some of the raptors game with my mom, then washed and shaved my face and went to bed at 10:50. I've also made a plan for moving forward. I am going to go with my tried and true method of slowly building habits. However, I will be focusing more on my schoolwork and acquiring some responsibility. This means doing more housework and generally doing the right thing when presented with the option to work or quit. I've identified one of my biggest weaknesses as being the fact that for all my life I have had things handed to me and rarely have to do much work myself. I believe that this is what led to me gaming, developing a multitude of bad habits and being generally lazy. In order to overcome this, I think that housework and responsible daily study will be the key. My goal at this point is to develop responsibility, getting back into my good habits, trying new things and generally doing the thing that I think is the right one. This means that when presented with the choice between working and escaping that I will pick the work, because the escape doesn't get me anywhere. I noticed that tonight, that I am presented with various choices through out the day and that I usually take the path of least resistance. It really is important that I develop the responsibility and discipline required to make the decision that is best for me. I don't expect this change to happen overnight. It really does come down to the little things. But in the end, they are what matter most.
  8. You're 100% right Ikar. I spiraled in the aftermath of this ordeal and it took me some time to get my mind together and formulate a game plan. Time management and responsibility are domains that I need to work at in order to prevent these situations in the future (because they are really, really not fun or good in any way...). I've put together a game plan that I will implement soon and will post with my next journal entry. I really appreciate your response! Thank you 🙂
  9. Thanks fawn. I was really out of it last night. Gonna take some time to evaluate how I approach this before diving in but I agree that being aggressive and extreme is not the way. Frankly I think I was still in shock last night at how the last couple days went down and I was focusing on the negative instead of being reasonable. There were some plusses to what happened. I managed to not relapse into gaming or porn, which is massive! I think I was under the illusion that I had somehow magically transformed all these things when in reality it's going to take a lot longer and a lot more work to do it. That said, this is obviously an improvement over what has happened previously with projects like these pre game quitting. I'm still tired as hell and kind of out of it, will put some thought into this.
  10. Days 30 through 32 -- 06/07/19 through 06/09/19 FOG 95 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 0 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 125 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 0 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 0 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 0 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 0 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 0 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 0 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 0 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) What happened in the last couple days The last couple days have been complicated. Long story short, I was assigned a project a couple weeks back and hadn't started yet even though it was due on Monday. Friday we did almost nothing at school and in the evening I went to an International Night at my school, but I didn't work on my Biology project. Saturday, I broke down under the pressure and relapsed in almost all my bad habits. I had allowed the pressure to become to great by leaving a full project to the last minute. I got a little of the project done, but nothing that was really worth much. Still too scared to handle this situation. Went to work from 5 to midnight and that gave me some time to think. Sunday, I was still relapsing and freaking out. I knew that I could perform at the last minute and still come up with something exceptional, but I also knew that it would take a toll. I got the project done about half an hour ago and now I am just thinking about this whole ordeal. Report on where I currently stand I've been through a lot in the last couple days. I got out of my social bubble by going to the International Night, which was good. But the real important thing in all this was the Biology project and what it taught me. I learned that one of my triggers for my bad habits is leaving work to the last minute. This is something that I do a lot and is probably the leading reason that I have these bad habits in the first place. Most of them constitute escapism and allow me to hide from my problems. The issue with this is that I am allowing my obstacles to conquer me. I need to get a jump on my work from now on instead of leaving it to the last minute, because this brings out my biggest weaknesses. To move forward at this point, I need to callous my mind and start facing things head on. To start doing things that I don't want to do at all. And yeah, this sounds like an awful idea and a great way to relapse, but I also know that I won't be able to move forward as a person if I don't start facing the uncertainty and the unknown. And I'm scared shitless. But I know that bad habits don't just happen to you; they grow. They are the sum total of all your weaknesses and insecurities. By facing my insecurities, I aim to kill my bad habits at the root by killing off my weakness. Until now I have been fighting symptoms, and that's a good first step, but in order to win this war against myself I need to start going on the offensive. So I will. (I've been reading David Goggins and yeah, that stuff really sinks in man, I'm starting to think with a whole new mentality about how I have to move forward as a person and what my goal is. My goal isn't to be popular or the best or smart or comfortable. I want to work towards the dark kind of happiness that Goggins has, the kind that comes with overcoming everything that gets in your way, and when nothing's in your way you put something in your way and overcome that too.) Sorry this was quite a venting session and a bit dramatic but frankly it's where my head is at right now and writing this help has helped me ascertain my convictions before moving forward. This might go really poorly or it might go really well, but either way I have got to try it, because trying new things is all I've got at this point.
  11. Day 29 -- 06/06/19 FOG 92 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 92 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 122 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 69 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 37 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 37 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 37 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 17 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 6 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 5 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) Report on where I currently stand Had a good day at school. Did my Physics test and it went well. Also realized that I was WAY behind everyone else with the Biology project for Monday... Kind of freaking out about it. I procrastinated from getting started on it when I got home (watched 2 TV episodes). Then I realized that I was procrastinating and put out some reps to clear my mind before getting to work. While working on the project I realized that the people that admire who are punctual with their work aren't about quantity or tackling their work all at once. They really do break it down into pieces ahead of time and chip away at it. I know that in order to improve I need to begin to feel this sense of duty so that even when I don't want to work I do at least a little bit. I also need to take a step back from TV because I have now established that I don't feel comfortable going there yet. Living in another world and running from mine is the coward's way out and I don't want to be a damn coward any longer. I want to own up to what needs to be done and do it even if it taxes me. Because that's how I'm going to become the person I want to be. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful that I have good role models that I can look up to. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm 10:15 Reading Spent 30 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning. Workout 10 minutes jump rope PA 15 minutes ab exercises PA 25 minutes solo track (5 min warm up, 200m, 7x200 (all sub 45s)(30s rest), 5 min cooldown) 15 Push-Ups, 202 Squats, 60 Lunges (putting out reps before Biology Project) Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 10 minutes on Duolingo in the evening working on (People 2). Outdoors time 55 minutes track (walking to the track, workout, walking back from the track) Homework Spent 45 minutes working on my Biology project. What happened today Read in the morning. Drove to school. 1st Period : Worked on Integrals. 2nd Period : Studied Physics and worked on Integrals. 3rd Period : Physics test. Lunch : Chatted with some friends and walked to an ice cream store with them. 4th Period : Written comprehension pack and worked on Integrals. PA : Went to get a yearbook photo taken. Then jumped rope for 10 minutes and did ab exercises for 15 minutes. 5th Period : Went to the lab. Experiment with antacids. After School : Walked home. Upon arriving home, I went to the track and did some sprints. Afterwards I went to the basement and watched 2 episodes of "Designated Survivor" (ate supper between them). This was some serious procrastination that had to be stopped in its tracks. When I realized that I was doing, I went and did 10 minutes of Duolingo and then realized that the reason that I wasn't feeling good and that I was procrastinating was that I am afraid that I won't get my Biology project done after seeing everyone else's coming together. After that, I got down and put out some reps before getting started on it. I haven't gotten very far yet but I'm confident now that, having taken the first step, I can get it done. Doesn't mean that it will be easy; but it's not an impossible task. It's currently 9:05 and I'm going to do the dishes and go to bed. I'm going to get more done with that project tomorrow. What I could have done better today Meditation. What I'm doing tomorrow Biology Project. International Night (school event). My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. ✅ - Acing my Physics test. ✅ - Finishing my Biology Project - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  12. Day 28 -- 06/05/19 FOG 91 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 91 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 121 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 68 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 36 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 36 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 36 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 16 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 5 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 4 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) Report on where I currently stand Felt good today. My legs were tired from running and needed a rest day. Lifted weights and watched TV for the first time in a while. Wasn't sure whether I was ready for TV or if I would get sucked in and binge. Felt the urge after finishing the episode, but resisted it. Thought about doing yoga as cross training when my legs get tired instead of weights. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful that I have good friends. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm 9:40 Reading Spent 35 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning. Spent 25 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the evening. Workout 40 minutes lifting weights in the evening. Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 30 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (School, Work) and some revision. Outdoors time Walking to and from school. Homework Spent 40 minutes studying Physics in the evening. What happened today Read in the morning. Walked to school. 1st Period : Worked on Integrals. 2nd Period : Organized some of my folders. Took some Biology notes and worked on Integrals. 3rd Period : Teacher was absent. Studied physics. Lunch : Chatted with some friends (tried being passive in conversation again). 4th Period : Went outside for the period. We were supposed to work on a written comprehension pack, but everyone just chatted. Was a nice social activity. No PA (Wednesday) 5th Period : Got to class. Our teacher was at the printer down the hall. Half the class hid in the closet (there's a big closet with a door that's adjacent to the class). Our teacher came back and didn't notice that they were gone. Everyone was giggling their butts off. When she figured it out, she suggested that the half of the class that wasn't in the closet hide down the hall (because the people in the closet didn't know that she'd realized). Hence, we hid down the hall and they came looking for us. It was hilarious hearing them coming out of the closet, wondering where we'd gone and freaking out. Eventually they found us. Then we all went back to class and got to work on a lab report discussion about antacids. After School : Walked home. Upon arriving home, I helped my dad put up the new TV for my parents bedroom. Answered some email. Spent some time on Duolingo. Called my mom (she's out of the country for work) and submitted and application to mentor new students next year. I also called the doctor's office about my bloodwork. Ate supper and then read for a time. Then I did some Physics and lifted weights while watching "Designated Survivor". I'm typing this at 9:22. What I could have done better today Meditation. What I'm doing tomorrow Studying Physics. My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. ✅ - Acing my Physics test. - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  13. Day 27 -- 06/04/19 FOG 90 Days (Free Of Gaming) 🎉 🙌 🎉 FOF 90 Days (Free Of Fapping) 🎉 🙌 🎉 FOP 120 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 67 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 35 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 35 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 35 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 15 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 4 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 3 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) Report on where I currently stand We did it! 90 Days! I can't believe that it's been three months... I feel like a whole new person after all this time. I feel as though my mind is mine now and that no one can take that away from me. It feels great! I've enjoyed coming this far and I'm not going to let up. Gaming and fapping might not be my biggest obstacles any longer, but there are still loads of things that I can improve on as an individual. I'm ready to keep moving forward 😎. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful that I've gotten this far. I'm also grateful that I have the opportunity to keep going and to discover myself and my potential even further, as well as being able to enjoy the world more and help others. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm 9:45 Reading Spent 20 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning. Workout 40 minutes running (Running to the track, 200m, 400m, 600m, 400m, 200m). 10 minutes stretching in the evening. 5 minutes volleying a volleyball with my sister. Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (School, People). Outdoors time Walking to and from school. 40 minutes running. 20 minutes walking (walking back from the track). Homework ❌ What happened today Read in the morning. Went to the hospital for bloodwork. Walked to school. 1st Period : Worked on Integrals. Got my test back. 98% 😁! 2nd Period : Studied chemistry and took some quick notes for bio class. 3rd Period : Teacher was absent. Studied chemistry. Lunch : Chatted with some friends (tried being passive in conversation again) and studied chemistry. 4th Period : Went to the theater and did the lighting for the drama class's practice (the play is next week). PA : Finished up at the theater and then went to chemistry class to study more. 5th Period : Chemistry test. I think it went well. Maybe 1 or 2 mistakes, nothing major. Walked home. Upon arriving home, I went up to the track for practice but no one was there, so I just did an interval workout. Walked home after. Went outside to play volleyball with my sister while my dad finished up supper. Ate and then went to my sister's concert. It started late, which gave us the opportunity to chat with people for half an hour in the antechamber. After the concert, I spent 10 minutes reading Anna Karenina while they cleaned up. Went home. Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo. Looked up some running nutrition. Now I'm typing this (9:04), going to have a snack after and then call it a night. What I could have done better today I could have gotten some homework done after school. What I'm doing tomorrow Studying Physics. My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. ✅ - Acing my Physics test. - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  14. Glad to hear that you feel ready to try some new habits! It might be rough at the start, as you won't be used to them and will probably make some mistakes, but once you get going the experience is well worth it!
  15. Day 26 -- 06/03/19 FOG 89 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 89 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 119 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 66 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 34 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 34 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 34 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 14 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 3 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 2 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) Report on where I currently stand Feeling good. Enjoying this very much, even though I am more tired than usual. Not much to report. One thing that I tried today that worked really well was being more passive in conversations (especially in group conversation) and thinking about the impact of my words before speaking. This added to my exhaustion, but was well worth it as I felt that I was allowing people to speak freely and not intimidating them. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful for the existence of Game Quitters. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm 9:35 Reading Spent 35 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning. Workout 15 minutes jumping rope at the PA. 20 minutes stretching at the PA. 30 minute run with my dad after school (5k). 5 minute walk post-run. 10 minutes practicing volleyball on my own in the backyard in the evening (did this instead giving into the urge to watch TV 😄). 5 minutes on the monkey bars in the evening. Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (Shopping). Outdoors time Walking to and from school. Everything in the Workout section (with the exception of jumping rope and stretching at the PA). Homework ❌ What happened today Read in the morning. Walked to school. Went to Calculus until I had to leave for a doctor's appointment. Got back at the end of 2nd period (missed Biology). In Physics I worked on some chemistry. At lunch I chatted with people (tried being more passive in conversation). In French I just did some Chemistry and briefly did an interview for one of the local radio stations (class activity). At the PA (break period) I jumped rope for 15 minutes and then stretched for 20. At 5th I just worked on Chemistry. Walked home with my sister at the end of the school day. Upon arriving home, my dad and I laced up and went for a run. Then I did some Duolingo and research on running nutrition. Picked my sister up from singing, had supper and then went outside for 15 minutes (volleyball + monkey bars). Afterwards I spent an hour helping my sister with her math homework and now I am writing this. Going to have a snack and then go to bed. What I could have done better today I could have gotten some homework done after school. What I'm doing tomorrow Studying Chemistry. My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. - Acing my Physics test. - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  16. I don't know, haven't tried it yet 😅. But it seems interesting enough. Probably dull at the start as you continuously fail to produce quality results, but after a time I'm sure that with practice the quality and speed of your writing would improve without even including the value of the calligraphy itself in other things.
  17. Day 25 -- 06/02/19 FOG 88 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 88 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 118 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 65 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 33 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 33 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 33 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 13 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 2 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) S30PIU 1 Day (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami) Report on where I currently stand Doing well. Spent less than 30 minutes on the Internet (other than Duolingo and learning some origami for 20 mins). It was weird having so much time on my hands, but it also made me take things slower and not rush through daily tasks, instead enjoying them in a much deeper way. The best example of this today was my run. With the added time, instead of doing a short 2 minute warm-up, running and then a 2 minute cooldown, I walked a couple kilometers, warmed up quickly, ran for over an hour, stretched afterwards for over half an hour and then walked another couple kilometers. This feeling of having all the time in the world is so odd, because I have so many options to choose from and the time to do most of them. It's a great feeling. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful that my city has wonderful running trails. Wake up time 7:40 (was up late last night so I didn't set an alarm) Getting to bed before 9:30pm Reading Spent 15 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning. Workout 70 minutes running before lunch (The goal was to run a sub 5 minute/km pace for an hour and ten minutes. I ran at a 4:44 pace overall, completing 14,8km in 70 minutes flat.). 35 minutes stretching after the run. 35 minutes playing volleyball with my sister. Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 45 minutes on Duolingo in the morning. Worked on (Schedule, School 2, Family 2 and Emotions). Spent 15 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing revision. Outdoors time Spent 3 hours outside from 11 to 2pm (walk, warm up, run, cooldown, stretching, walk) Spent 35 minutes in the evening volleying a volleyball with my sister in our backyard. Homework ❌ What happened today Woke up late. Did some Duolingo. Read Can't Hurt Me for a bit. This got me pumped up to go for a hard run. Went for a run. Stretched after and then walked home. I was really tired haha. Jelly legs. Anyways, after that I had lunch, cleaned the basement and took a 40 minute nap. Then, I did some origami for 20 minutes (Failed spectacularly to make a lily. Maybe I should start with something easier...), did some Duolingo revision and had supper. Afterwards, I went up to work to request time off for an upcoming trip and then came home and did the dishes. Now I'm writing this before I go to bed (it's currently 9:51 so I should skedaddle). What I could have done better today I could have gotten some homework done. What I'm doing tomorrow Studying Chemistry. My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 10:00 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. - Acing my Physics test. - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  18. Day 24 -- 06/01/19 FOG 87 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 87 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 117 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 64 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 32 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 32 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 32 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 12 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) NT 1 Day (No Typing) (Not playing typing games) Report on where I currently stand I had quite the epiphany today. After reading an hour of Can't Hurt Me, I followed challenges #1 and #2 from the book. Writing out what my baggage was as a person and also writing out a blunt as hell list of my weaknesses was liberating. Afterwards, I felt more at peace with myself than I have in a long time. I felt that I could accept my flaws as they were and that I could overcome them in the future. Further into the day, I spent some time really contemplating what my biggest challenge is in my life. I determined that my biggest obstacle is learning to embrace uncertainty and learning that it is ok to not be in control. For my whole life, I have been in control. Whenever I faced something that was out of my control, I would run or panic. I feel safe when I'm in control. But being in control doesn't allow you to grow as a person and that's what I'm here to do; grow as a person. So in order to continue on my journey, I need to learn how to be less uptight, learn to go with the flow, learn that not everything should be planned ahead of time. I need to learn to stop judging people and to accept them as they are and to embrace the unknown that comes with that reality. A reality where I don't necessarily understand everything. Isn't that what life is about? That old proverb "Live and learn" exists for a reason right? And I've been neglecting that. So that's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to go out there and try things. I'm tempted to say consequences be damned, yet I know that's not entirely true. But at the very least, I'm going to get out of my comfort zone and start working my way into the real world. What I am grateful for today Today I am grateful that I live in a home where I am loved and treated with respect. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm 10:30 Reading Spent an hour reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Workout ❌ Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 10 minutes on Duolingo studying : Schedule and Travel 2. Outdoors time ❌ Homework ❌ What happened today I woke up and delved into Can't Hurt Me. Followed through with the challenges suggested in the book. Then I got a call from work (I am currently working part-time at Shopper's) asking me to come in from 10-5. I went to work and contemplated life and myself quite a bit while I was there. I drove back home and then did some reading about self development. I worked on some Spanish and then ate supper with my Dad. Afterwards we watched a movie and now I'm writing this. All in all, a pretty good day. What I could have done better today I could have gotten some homework done. What I'm doing tomorrow My Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty. Weekly Goals - Going to bed before 10:00 and waking up at 6:20. - Doing some meditation. - Acing my Chemistry test. - Acing my Physics test. - Doing something fun and spontaneous! Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Lightening up and trying new things. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).
  19. Happy birthday! Glad to see that you're doing so well dude! Keep it up 🙂
  20. After nearly three months of being clean, I feel the need to take some time to reflect on where I am in my journey and what I need to do now in order to move forward. I'm going to use bullet points to help pour out all my thoughts. - I am now addicted to typing. I'm getting the same hit off of it as I did from gaming and I'm using it to escape. I don't use it nearly as much as I did gaming, but I need to stop. - In order to move forward, I need to start becoming Internet free. Surfing the Internet is becoming one of my escapes because I am often bored (and I'm often bored because I am dodging homework). Going outside more will help me deal with this problem. Even if it means walking around for hours on end, at least I will not be inside at a computer screen. I will track the time that I spend on the Internet. I'm going to remove all of the Internet accessing devices in my room from said room. I will now only enter the office if I have school work or am working on Spanish. I will make this change gradually so that I don't shock my system. - I feel as though my nutrition is quite strong, but it would be good to begin making healthy lunches again (I'm currently eating bread, cheese and fruit for food at school. Last week, I made quinoa salad and it was well worth it). - I know that social skills are currently one of my weakest areas and that I need to work on developing them. Being a gamer has taken away from my social development and I know that I will need to work hard if I want to be more socially competent. - Reading Anna Karenina has become stale and I am losing the will to read in the morning because of it. I need to either spend more time reading so that I can get through these monster books more easily or move on to new books. Some self help books would be great! - I want to acquire a variety of new skills and have made lists upon lists of ideas. Now I can start trying them out! I'm thinking yoga or calligraphy might be good for a next step. Music also holds quite an interest for me, however I have no formal training as of yet. - I want to become comfortable with being bored, as I am currently not and am using screens to escape my boredom. - I would be better off if I spent more time doing homework, even if this just means some regular studying in the evenings. - I am loving running and it is one of the high points of my day + sprinting has only made it better! - I am deeply appreciative of the progress that I have made. Three months have gone by like a blur and I feel like I'm truly only beginning to grow! What an incredible experience... - I am so glad that I no longer from the ups and downs that come with playing video games and porn and fapping. Having consistent, albeit less high, dopamine levels is great and I would suggest it to anyone. It is as though a fog has been lifted in my mind and for the first time in a long time I can see myself and the world around me with clear eyes. Yes, it's intimidating, but that's the point. Knowing now that I am better equipped to face what comes my way is truly uplifting and allows me to get more out of life. All in all, this journey has been 100% worth it at every turn. - I am enjoying exploring new things, even though I am often lost at the start. Once I get past those first couple steps, I face challenges that satisfy me and make me happy. A couple links that are currently really helping me deal with boredom and contemplate where I stand as a whole : Even though I've only been using Game Quitters as an outlet for less than a month, I would like to thank everyone here for providing encouragement and suggestions that have allowed me to move forwards with this journey. Without you guys, I would not have made it this far. That's it for me, I'm going to bed now. Wishing everyone the best! Good night.
  21. Thanks Dig! I'm glad to hear that you've made it 3 days along! The first couple really do matter, but once you get past them and you find new things you become a lot more comfortable. As for the earbuds, I've noticed that I have minor ringing (like a weak tinnitus) in my ears stemming (I think) from listening to loud music with earbuds. Your ears can only handle so much at once and earbuds concentrate that sound straight to your ear. So in order to try to rectify this problem I'm not using them at all. This also allows me to be more mindful when I walk to and from school since I'm not listening to music and is also great for sleep because I would usually listen to ASMR (I don't like the idea of being dependant on technology in order to get to sleep, even though I used it for a while). Long story short, earbuds are something that I can live without and from which I don't really reap any benefits, so I feel comfortable discarding them. I wish you well on your journey! Keep it up 'cause you're doing great 😄
  22. Day 23 -- 05/31/19 FOG 86 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 86 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 116 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 63 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 31 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 31 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 31 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 11 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) One/some amazing thing(s) about today! 1) I felt incredible in Calculus class today! Got while ahead of the rest of the class on the work and felt super focused! What I am grateful for today I am grateful for the lovely weather we had today! Wake up time 6:05 Getting to bed before 9:30pm ❌ 10:20 Reading Spent 20 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Workout Spent 5 minutes jumping rope at PA. Ran sprints for 20 minutes (Peaks // 1:18 for 400m // 3:34 for 1km). Meditation Spent 10 minutes doing silent meditation in the morning. Still getting comfortable with sitting cross legged for so long. Spanish Spent 10 minutes on Duolingo doing Spanish review. Outdoors time Walked to and from school. Typing 15 minutes of typing. Really good accuracy. Homework ❌ What went well today Did some good work in Calculus class. Talked to some friends at lunch. Finished my essay for french class. Went for a good run. What I could have done better today I just didn't get much done in the afternoon. What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow How I felt today I followed my morning routine quite well today. I felt great in Calculus class and managed to get a lot of math done at school. Talked to some friends at lunch about different ways of learning and acquiring habits (inborn vs acquired and biological/instinct vs logical). My (New) Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Weekly Goals - Learning how to eat sunflower seeds. ✅ - Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them). - Acing my calculus test. ✅ - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00. - Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately). Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average). - Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.
  23. Day 22 -- 05/30/19 FOG 85 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 85 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 115 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 62 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 30 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 30 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 30 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 10 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) One/some amazing thing(s) about today! 1) Went for a run with my dad! What I am grateful for today Today, I am grateful that I am accepted by those around me. Wake up time 6:10 Getting to bed before 9:30pm Reading Read Anna Karenina for 15 minutes in the morning. Workout Did a 5 minutes workout in the morning. Threw a frisbee around for 10 minutes at the PA. Volleyed a volleyball for 20 minutes at the PA. Went for a 25 minute jog with my dad after school. Meditation Spent 10 minutes doing silent meditation in the morning. Still getting comfortable with sitting cross legged for so long. Spanish Spent half an hour on Duolingo. Worked on the following categories : People 2, People 3, Greetings. To top it off I did some overall review. Outdoors time Walked to and from school. Went for a 25 minute jog. Typing Spent 25 minutes typing. Focusing on my accuracy is still yielding much better results than focusing on speed. Homework Did Calculus homework at first and second period. Did Physics homework at third period. What went well today I really enjoyed my morning! I got up early, meditated, read, did some Spanish and exercised. At school I got a lot of homework done, chatted with friends at lunch and practiced some team sports at PA. I also played Uno at 5th period, since we were done with the course material. It was a lot of fun! After school, I went for a run with my dad which was great! What I could have done better today Doing homework in the afternoon. What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow Read something other than Anna Karenina in the morning (it's getting a bit stale...) // Trying a new morning routine. Going to school. Going to kickboxing. How I felt today I felt great all the way until the afternoon. Didn't know what to do with myself when I got back from running with my dad. Spent most of the afternoon just passing time without any real intent or purpose. It didn't feel very good. I felt empty and kind of lost as though I was drifting. My (New) Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Weekly Goals - Learning how to eat sunflower seeds. ✅ - Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them). - Acing my calculus test. ✅ - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00. - Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately). Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average). - Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.
  24. Day 21 -- 05/29/19 FOG 84 Days (Free Of Gaming) FOF 84 Days (Free Of Fapping) FOP 114 Days (Free Of Porn) CR 61 Days (Clean Room) FOSAS 29 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert) FOYT 29 Days (Free Of YouTube) WF 29 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning) FOE 9 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation) One/some amazing thing(s) about today! 1) Went biking with my dad. What I am grateful for today Today, I am grateful that I feel confident. Wake up time 6:20 Getting to bed before 9:30pm ❌ 10:25 Reading ❌ Workout Went for an hour long bike ride with my dad. Spent 5 minutes stretching. Meditation ❌ Spanish Spent 30 minutes on Duolingo. Reviewed previous lessons and worked on Travel 2, Greetings 1 and People 2. Outdoors time Walking to and from school. (30 mins) Went outside for 5 minutes at lunch. Went for a bike ride for an hour with my dad. Typing Spent 20 minutes typing. Homework ❌ What went well today I got through my calculus test and feel like I did pretty well. I practiced some bowline knots, went for a bike ride with my dad and just generally enjoyed my day. What I could have done better today Reading. Meditation. Homework. Going to bed earlier. Not procrastinating in the evening. What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow Meditation. Studying Chemistry. // Meditation. Track. Studying Chemistry. How I felt today I felt fairly good today! In the afternoon I procrastinated from doing housecleaning and homework and went to bed late when I didn't need to, which made me feel a little annoyed. That said, I was busy looking up dating advice, which frankly I could probably use since I'm single, I've never been in a relationship and am 17. On the flip side, I go to a small school, so everyone knows everyone and I don't know if it would be a good idea to be dating even though I feel up for trying it. My (New) Monthly Goal Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Weekly Goals - Learning how to eat sunflower seeds. ✅ - Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them). - Acing my calculus test. ✅ - Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00. - Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately). Current Goals - Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June. - Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average). - Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.
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