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Sapuverell

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Everything posted by Sapuverell

  1. Day 6 gone to bed: 23.30 woke up: 11.30 So I've been thinking about "NoFap" and for now I wanna keep it like that. It's all bearable, also to not play any video games. Today I was so tempted to watch IEM Sydney of CSGO and I barely held me back. I did some homework then, went to the local sport centre an did some wellness and also cooked something for me, what rarely happens. I feel pretty good and I'm happy with my life at the moment. There is just one thing I wanna change, that's my usage of my smartphone. I normally watch some debates or motivational videos in the evening, but it became too much and I sometimes watched until midnight. I wanna put it away at 22.00, from now on and then go to bed at 22.30. I'm grateful for: a relaxing day after my body felt exhausted completing all I had to do for school having little to none urges or cravings feeling good
  2. You often say you were productive. I would be interested in what you mean by that?
  3. Glad to hear that. I'm impressed if someone tells me he went to Taiwan or Hong Kong, just wow! I'm not really a huge fan of social media. I mean it has some potential I see that, but there is a risk of spending to much time, caring to much about others feedback and so on, I'm sure you know them. Are you having them under control? I'm just asking and I wanna say that ral friends and relationships are probably still better for us. Even though they are rare. Greetings!
  4. I sometimes feel impaired. When reading your journal I start thinking that you're so free when you get older. Now I still in school and I have to adapt myself to it. There is barely room to change something because homework and so drains most of my time. I hope if I get to university I have more possibilities. Or is that just an illusion? Thank you so much Matt for sharing all this! Cheers!
  5. Are you just too selfish? Do you have a crisis and others are not that important at the moment? Is there no time? Would you tell us why it doesn't work? I'm very interested. You don't have to though.
  6. The thing is, that I like the book "twelve ruloes for life" and I enjoy reading it. It's just, this isn't nearly as exciting as video games. It's slow, it's silent, you always have to think and maybe reread a section. So in comparison to gaming i wouldn't say I have fun. I see this not as a bad thing, but I have to experience, that real life is not that stimulating and I have to get used to this. Do not get me wrong now, but there are of course activities that make you feel very passionate, but I'm not far enough yet. In terms of "NoFap", I had this aswell, but it was years ago. Maybe I should consider changing my goal to no pornography instead of no masturbation at all. I'll think about it. Thank you very much Ikar. I really appreciate your feedback and it's helping me alot! Much thanks!
  7. Day 5 gone to bed: 00.30 woke up: 07.40 This Saturday has been good. I went to the gym and so did complete my second week of doing on 6 days sports. I pounced on a puzzle and it has been bothering me since then. Also I played some card games with relatives who came by. So no longer this boringsness. Something actually made me think. I know that games trigger many of our needs for feeling accomplishment, progress or confirmation in a way, but something games had always provided was fun. In my previous activities I have to say, I never felt the same amount of fun or joy in it. Not that reading or working for school is a bad thing. But it seems so plain, no such challange like in a video game. I'm a bit scared of this fact! I'm grateful for: the food I had today the patience I have for tthe puzzle (I post a photo, when it's complete) fun with my relatives spending basically no time in front of a screen, except writing this journal "NoFap" is making me difficulties. I don't have a problem renouncing porrnography, but renouncing masturbation is hard. It's just that I had some sexual thoughts today, not about anyone I saw. I just thought about good-looking girls and I dind't know what to do. We'll see!
  8. Day 4 gone to bed: 23.30 woke up: 06.45 It was good! My physics exam went almost perfect and I feel relieeved that I'm back on track in school. Beside that I'm glad to be more calm in school. I do not leave a comment on everything, I'm not that loud anymore and I think I'm more serious right now. I think I can be who I am and that makes me more than happy. Relationships are so going well. I stopped feeling guilty, because I sometimes am not just happy and feeeling a bit in a crisis. As the weekend started today, I was so bored and still am. I slept for around 5 hours till now and don't feel very good about it, because I would like it, if I did something productive or creative. So far I coulnd't though. I did wanna watch some Youtube or Twitch just so that time passes but then didn't. I also questionned myself, if I really wanna quit video games forever and not just for a time. But all this doubt is just wantring the easy way. I don't wann feel bored, lonely, helpless nor on withdrawal. But I made this decision and if I really ask myself I know exactly that it's right and important for my life. I'm grateful for: living in switzerland, with one of the best education-system in the world that I am part of having not relapsed till now and feeling pretty far away from games already being on this forum helpful, positive and understanding peoplle around me self-discipline I brought up
  9. Thank you very much for your feedback! Yes I see that problem or danger and I'm a 100% conscious about that. Still though I think I can manage that, through the fact that it's not the first time I quit games nor Pornography. I kinda know how it feels and as a result of that other areas in my life are absolutely great, I'm rather confident. About giving myself credit: I have no idea how to reward myself, when for all my life it's been gaming for multiple hours and feeling this instant gratification. I though about reading or just sleeping, but I definitely have to come up with some other ideas!
  10. Hey Stevec2283, I just read your last post and I really hope you get back on your feet. What I want to comment is the fact, that when you start playing games for escapism, you have a method of solving problems that you wont let go until you find something better at it's place. For myself I never knew a way to deal with stress or difficulties in relationships other than diving into the virtual world. So please don't be too hard with yourself and stay strong!
  11. Hey The radtech, Great you made this decision. I hope it's not something you just came up with one day and you are more than willing to give up gaming. It just sounded a bit like a short-term decision. I just learned from myself that I have to be truly willing, otherwise I fail and feel even worse afterwards. But I don't think that's the case for you! I wish you all the best and I will occasionally read your journal. Have a good one!
  12. Very interesting. It depends on what you believe I think. If you are convinced, that there is a god, you would be loved endlessy. But even if you do not, what do you think is better for you? Reduce yourself to something less or pushing yourself with a force, you may not even understand, but would help your situation. When you can't know the truth, then why don't you pick what is best for you and your people around you?
  13. Day 3 So far my hardest day. Couldn't sleep last night and gym, school and now learning has been very tiring. I feel like i could lay down and instantly fall asleep. Had very much thought about my past and how my life is been so far. Reminded me of the beautiful moments, but also the dark times. Today I feel like killing myself for making space for something new to thrive. Wanna finish my past, but also have the opportunity to ever come back and remind me of these times. Feeling also confused, maybe you can see it in my spelling. Anyways, I had very good talk with a good female friend and I feel understood by her. On the other side I felt kinda helpless, when I saw her speaking and hugging another guy from my class. I really should work on my social skills and also gain experience in that matter. I somehow can't deal with it, when a female friend is having a good time with other guys. Thoughts on Gaming are very rare. I caught myself watching 2-3 stupid videos on Youtube that were unnecessary. But then pretty quickly turned it off, when I thought about my goal. The only thing I'm struggling on is having no possibility to hide my feelings anymore. Just have to deal with everything I experience through the day. It feels like my head is always rattling and the only way to stop that is meditating or sleep. I look forward to the weekend and hope I can rest a bit. Also I'm excited about it, though I have no clue what to do, when there is at once so much time to spend/invest. I'm grateful for: having the possibility to talk with someone about my problems and feeling understood my intelligence that brought me so far in school and allow me to sometimes do a little bit less investment, when times are difficult the music I find on Youtube that help me relax, fall asleep and process my feelings "NoFap" is making me look after girls in school, and I don't like it, because sometimes I feel I can't control my eyes anymore. In my opinion I have to get used to all of this, with that I mean handling the fact, that there is no longer this regurarly sexual relief. In seeing ggirls the right way, was never a problem so far, but I definitely feel this kind of urge in my behavior. I will keep watching it.
  14. Update By keeping track of other posts from other users I wanna add something to my daily journal that I think would improve it. I wanna list 3 things per day I'm thankful for Record my sleep time Next to that I saw someone got into "NoFap", and I want to try it out as well, even though the scientific aspect of this detox is lost as it is now more than one factor.
  15. Thank you so much. You probably have no idea how much such few words mean to me. Humans need so little encouragement and you just made my day!
  16. Day 2 Today I found motivation to do some homework and it made me happy. I love to hear no stuff, learning and understanding to quench my tremendous curiosity. So that was good. I slept in the afternoon for about 3 hours and I don't know why. I usually never do this. I think it has to do, that i can no longer turn on my computer and start playing directly. I have to choose an activity. Because I do not have many ideas yet, and I'm kinda tired after school I just lay down. So I'm bored you can say. Meanwhile all my games are uninstalled. E-Mail notifications are set off. Esspecially before sleeping or when I return home I urge to watch YouTube for fun or any streams to keep me entertained. I don't like it at all, but I also think it's normal.
  17. I will see if this book is available in our local library, otherwise I order it. At first I have to say I couldn't change anything. Because I'm still in school, people didn't change around me, I did always the same things I was so used to do for basically my hole life and every try to change something met with effort and work. That's where I learned to start small and also to not be to hard with myself. Through Video Games you really stop being patient so it was really hard at the beginning. I hate it to be slow and not haveing this instant reward-system that games provide. Thank you dahankus!
  18. Great you came on this forum. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. So far I wish you much strength and positive things in your life to happen, that help your situation.
  19. So happy to hear that, keep it up!
  20. I'm in a similar situation. I have lots to do for school, feeling not eveyr good about my relationships with friends or family and just had a few days off, where I really just spend time on my own in my room. I think it's always a good thing, when you just stop for a moment and start realizing your sourroundings and the situatioin your in. But it's also dangerous, when you have no exchange with friends, to talk about. I sometimes fall in a dark hole. The thing that helps me get out of there, is starting the work you have to do, and resocialize again.
  21. I really like this idea, to always underline your decision with the phrase: "I am not a gamer". Does it effect your mindset or what's the deal with it?
  22. Day 1 So my first day was pretty good, even though i urged a little in watching youtube. Caught myself in scrolling through CSGO content and i was really tempted to watch the ESL Pro league. Anyways I did some organisational stuff, went to the library, was in the gym and had all in all a very quit day. In the afternoon I slept for almost 6 hours and can now not go to bed because of it. I was not able so far, doing my school work done, but that has some personal reasons I cannot write about, because I don't know them exactly. I just feel blocked inside my head to to anything productive and I hope this will end very soon. Maybe it has something to do, that I watched an almost 2h long interview with Jordan Peterson and then read in his book "12 rules for life" for quite a bit. It really fascinates me, but it's also a lot of brain work and thinking in it. Also a bit concerned I was about my time spending on this forum. I think I'm kinda bored, even though I have many things to do, but i rather see the new post, read and comment. But I shouldn't be online more than maybe 2 times a day, except I havee urges and need to motivate myself.
  23. Cool that you didn't relapse on Saturday. Very strong! How did you do it, because i find myself often in the same situation?
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