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goodbill

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Posts posted by goodbill

  1. Hi, I totally understand when you mentioned: "gaming/watching streams suppresses my passions and impedes work on other projects and that they are my number 1 go-to activity when idle." The damage is more obvious when it keeps adding up for years.

    The decision you made today will be appreciated by future yourself. Quitting game/streaming is not easy, as you already realize, but definitely worthy. Hope you have all the resources you need to achieve the goal. 

  2. OK, I decided to come back after missing several days'  journal.

    • I went to church today, took a long nap in the afternoon, and cook my meals for the next day.
    • Yesterday I worked out with a personal trainer, ate brunch at Egg&I (got a free entry coupon), and played 3 hours' table tennis at the house of one club member. I went to my office to catch up with some works. 
    • Friday I was busy at work and attended the Easter evening with church members. 

    Everything above is quite positive. Except that I masturbated about 4 times last week, also thinking to play some games!!!! 

    But I told myself: don't give up so easily! It is new life and new me waiting for me if I keep doing more right and meaningful things. 

    In conclusion: Day 14 for no gaming; Day 1 for no masturbation (no porn is not enough to achieve my goal).

     

  3. Day 10

    Still feel tested. No game no porn, but it was a sleepless night and masturbation (thought it would help the sleep but not).

    Read some comments online regarding the meaning of nofap. Some people think porn and masturbation are different, some don't. But there was a close call to watching porn in older to ejaculate.

    Yesterday I played some table tennis and lose badly. I was at first frustrated but realized my goal is not to win every game or person. I need to win against myself!

    Did the laundry and dish washing yesterday. Will do a nice and healthy cooking today.

  4. Day 9

    Almost relapsed. Even now at work I am thinking of gaming. Fill the voids, fill the voids, fill the voids! Continue learning new software, continue playing table tennis with friends, and continue listening good mucsic!!!

    Help me God, I pray.

  5. Thanks, Taichi. The confirmation from you is encouraging. By the way, do you practice tai chi quan? I used to. 

    Yesterday I really want to play some games and watch porns. The feeling is intensive. Almost thought I would relapse. My brain was not thinking right. 

    Fortunately, I did not play games nor watch porns. Journal still going!

    What I plan to do:

    1. Continue the "respawn" modules

    2. Find and pursue higher goals in my life

     

     

     

    • Like 1
  6. Day 8

    I felt tested lying on the bed. I listened to music which saved me. Maybe I should go outside next time?

    I also felt fatigued. I assume it is normal on the journey. 

    No gaming/porn today! 

    • Like 1
  7. Day#7

    The craving did occur once. Thanks to deleting all my games last week, I did not cave in. 

    I did not watch porn neither. But I did masturbate once by looking at my wife's pictures. This helps to relieve my desire and I don't feel guilty.

    What if the craving comes next time? Here is what I plan to do: I would first have a shower. And then body stretch and drink water. And then meditate on God's words.

     

  8. Day#5

    I slept for 3 hours after work and had a nice conversation with my wife. Long distance is hard, which might be a trigger for gaming again. But I will hang in here. 

    So yes, another day no game and no porn! Cheers!?

  9. Was my reply deleted? I was saying that 1) the game companies spend a ton of money to make sure that it is unlikely you would regulate gaming; 2) I would feel shameful to engage my friends with gaming because I know it could create damages to their time, their body, and their mind, based on my experience of being damaged so bad in the past. 

  10. Day #4

    Already!

    Feelings: Time runs out fast and is so precious!!

    My routine: Work 8:30~6:00+ playing ping pong 6:30~8:30 + shower/washing 9:00~10:00+ writing journals 10:00~10:30+ reading some bedtime books  up to 12:00 and sleep

    I don't feel bored but did meet some temptation today (be able to handle it by talking to my wife).

    I am glad I am on the track of a journey to a 90-day detox!

    Hope you guys are also doing well!

     

  11. Day #3

    Was very tired and fell in sleep around 9 PM :) Got up 3:40 AM to finish up some work and write the journal for Day 3!

    Emotions 

    • Clam
    • Anticipation

    Goals

    • Quit gaming and porn for 90 days
    • Live a healthy and organized life for 90 days

    Actions

    • Chose metal activities: sharpen SolidWorks + Python skills + scientific paper writing
    • Chose resting activities: body stretching, reading/listening to a book, listening to music
    • Chose social activities:  replying at least one topic on the forum, playing ping-pong in a club, invite people over my place for playing, participate group bible study
  12. Day #2

    Emotions 

    • Joy
    • Trust

    Goals

    • Quit gaming and porn
    • Live a healthy and organized life

    Actions

    • Chose metal activities: sharpen SolidWorks and Python skills
    • Chose resting activities: body stretching, reading a book, listening to music
    • Chose social activities: playing ping-pong in a club, invite people over my place for playing, participate group bible study
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