pond1233

Well, here I finally am; i guess. I'd heard about sites like there for a while but I never contemplated that I had a problem until I tried to quit. I thought I'd given up league and console gaming for good until October last year. I picked up rdr2 and lol; went gangbusters. I feel attracted to the idea of dominating in a game, reverence for high performance, an escape from real stress, connection with others that never naturally formed when I was younger. I remember playing mario with my big brother when my hands were too small to hold a controller so i had to learn how to play with my fingers; i used to get awful blisters from that. I played every game imaginable and mastered most of them. It distinctly embarrasses me and it's not a part of myself I respect. I guess I never saw it as an addiction because it was such a core part of my life for so long. I've actually done fairly well in life despite my habits but I can't shake the feeling that i could have achieved real mastery in my endeavors if I had devoted myself to healthier habits. I have a lot of opportunities coming up, I don't want to miss because of this compulsion. Really cool stuff involving elite people, it's my shot at becoming someone great and I'm so thankful for it. I'm willing to accept that I have a problem now, especially after reading the signs of gaming addiction and answering "yes" to all of them. I really enjoyed boxing so i think I'll pick that up again, I can play music so i'll do that too, I have an exam to study for so that an recreational reading can take care of my sedentary time, I was thinking of starting board games with family too. I've uninstalled and deleted my league account, I don't have my consoles with me. If I make it 30 days without gaming, I'd like to buy myself a sleek, non-gaming laptop and sell this one. I've also picked up running again, I'm running five miles 4-5 times a week and I've set my mind on boston and NYC marathon for 2020/2021