mrmmartin

Back on the grind! Day 1 tomorrow.

Day 7 I haven't started back at the gym yet however I have caught up on all my uni work and almost all of the my teaching admin. I have booked in my last teaching placement and it starts in around 10 days. I am a little bit anxious, simply because its a new workplace and my teaching practice will be observed for 6 weeks. But, I have to have a positive mind set and hopefully this will be a good learning experience, developing me into a better teacher. I have been waking up at 4:00 am which has been a shock to the body but I really like how I can sit relax, meditate and get some tedious things out of the way before I start work. I am hoping that I can build this into a habit and coupling this with adequate sleep I think it will really be beneficial for my body and my state of mind. I will use this weekend to finalise any outstanding admin, finish any pressing uni assignments, prepare for the week of teaching and come Monday have 0 excuses not to attend the gym. One week down, hope everyone is doing well.

Day 4 Feeling quite stressed at the moment have a lot on but I am working on some of those simple goals that I mentioned. Today I woke up at 4:30 am, had a decent breakfast and meditated for 10 minutes. I am now just working on catching up with some work and assignments from uni before heading to work. After work I will head to the library for around 2 hours before heading home to spend some quality time with my wife and son. Tomorrow I am going to aim for 4:00 am and hopefully head to the gym at 6am before work. Little steps. Have a nice day everyone.

Day 1 I'm back once again, unfortunately I relapsed however I put in place a freedom block on my computer so I was only playing around the times of 8-10. Which is a step in the right direction. I'm here to start another 90 day detox because I am within the last 3 months of university and I really, really want to finish strong. A lot has happened in the last few months. I ran an entire term of my own class, it was challenging to say the least. My son is now 8 months old, how time flies and my relationship with my wife is doing well. My fitness had improved, I was attending a Muay Thai gym around 3-4 days a week however I've really dropped off and only go like 1-2 days. Some simple goals for myself heading into this next detox: Train physically 4-5 days a week Write in my journal weekly or daily depending how I go for time Meditate daily Complete assignments before their due date Spend quality time with family Work out financial goals Hope everyone has had a great day so far.

Day 90 to Day 1 So I did it I reached Day 90 of my detox on the 20th of December. However, I fell through the cracks and went back to gaming soon after. To be fair, it hasn't been a negative on my life as of late. When I returned to gaming I gave myself strict guidelines to only play after 9 pm and be in bed by at least 11pm. That way my son and wife would be asleep so I wouldn't neglect family time and it wouldn't affect my sleep schedule because that was around the time I went to bed anyways. Unfortunately, those guidelines eventually evaporated and I found myself playing whenever I had free time. I am going to restart my detox because these next few months are incredibly important to me and I have a lot that I want to achieve in the new year. I have my own class this year which is exciting and nerve racking to say the least, I will be eligible to graduate in less than five months, my son is growing so fast and achieving a number of milestones so quickly that I do not want to miss out. My wife and I are finally debt free so in the next few months we will be seeing a financial advisor to try get on track to buying a house hopefully by the end of this year. There is a job opportunity at a private school with applications due in the next couple of days, I am not sure if I want to add the stress of a new job but we will see what the next couple of days brings. I am undecided if I will return to the Army part-time in the next couple of months which will add even more to my plate but I feel that is when I find it easiest to not think about gaming. Fitness has been going awesome, I have made it a habit of waking up around 5 am and commuting to my gym and training for around an hour to two hours. Training around 4-6 times a week. I find that my fitness has drastically improved I am back to a standard that I am happy with. I have begun participating in sparring and honing skills that I have learnt in classes in practical situations. Very big year ahead of me. Happy belated New Year to everyone and I wish you all the best in achieving your goals in 2022. Goals for 2022 Maintain a high level of fitness. Read daily consistently. Hand all assignments in on time. Spend a lot of time with family. Dedicate more time to drawing. House deposit hopefully in a year to two years.

@Luny@The_Creative_QuitterThank you guys for the support, I really appreciate it. I could only imagine how difficult retirement would be in terms of gaming. I wish you guys all the best with your progress. Day 84 I find myself more and more thinking about games and watching twitch daily. I haven't played anything but I did download a game launcher and nearly jumped on for a game during the weekend. I am glad I didn't but I am really struggling at the moment. I need to keep going strong I want to reach my 90 days. I haven't sat down and drew in awhile because of uni study but I am going to buy a sketchbook and some new pencils so I can regularly draw in my downtime. I have been pondering on the thought of what is next for me after I graduate from my Masters. I often come back to after a break I would like to invest sometime in animation but I think I will find it really hard to be in that industry and not play games? I hope everyone is doing well. Stay safe over the holiday period, have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

@The_Creative_QuitterYeah, you are not wrong. It's so funny though because I know going back and playing the actual game will not ever bring back that feeling. I guess nostalgia will always be there looking back at simpler times, for me I tend to think back to games I was playing when I was living with my parents, not working and going to school everyday. Which I can never really relive being a father and having a much more complex life now.

Day 77 Really struggling at the moment with thoughts about playing games. I ended up watching twitch and other game orientated streams. I keep telling myself that I'm better off without them but I am at a lost at the moment. I think one of the biggest issues is I haven't really got a hobby outside of training at the gym. I enjoy reading and drawing so over the next few days I want to try and build upon those hobbies. I don't want to go back to spending hours and hours wasted each and every day.

Day 68 I have found myself this week thinking more and more about gaming. More the nostalgia of when I used to play and how good it was when I played with friends years ago. I have had a pretty stressful week of teaching, being casual is definitely challenging, perhaps in a normal school it might be different but I find being in a special setting difficult to build instantaneous relationships with the students. Which is completely normal but still difficult. The students struggle with change at the best of times so I am probably being to hard on myself, I have to remember I have only been a teacher for around 2 weeks. Actually working in the field of teaching has given me motivation to become a subject matter expert in the Key Learning Areas, I have a new found passion for reading a lot of the texts I neglected during my study. My interview and various tests have come back successful, I am edging closer and closer to that finish date it almost feels surreal. This weekend I have been trying to catch up on study but have found myself doing other tasks such as buying Christmas presents and cleaning the house putting off the inevitable. I need to keep telling myself that I am so close and that if I fail now I will have to postpone my graduation. Still exercising 4 days a week at my MMA gym and loving it. Slowly build better form and technique. I might try eventually adding another day of training but I don't want to over do it as well. I've been dropping a fair bit of weight which wasn't really my intended goal, I have been skipping meals because I have been so busy. If I want to build more muscle I need to eat more and cleaner. Overall its still been a good week, looking forward to the next week to come. Hope everyone is doing well.

Days 58 - 61 Completed my first full week of teaching, the difference in responsibility between a teacher and a student learning support officer is astounding. I tend to take it personal when I can't get students to get on track even though I work in a school for behaviours, as the teacher I feel that its somewhat my fault. But, I need to realise that I have only been a teacher for a week and that I am still learning myself. Plus, I am in and out of different rooms so it is hard to adapt all the time to different routines and students instantaneously. Had a nice weekend. Celebrated a friends birthday and had a nice day out with friends the following day. Deadlines are creeping up on my assignments so I have started working on them. I am not at work tomorrow so hopefully I can really knuckle down and get at least one done. I passed my interview, spatial awareness, emotional intelligence and verbal reasoning tests so I am just waiting for my results for my literacy and numeracy test. Only 6 months until I graduate, I am honestly going to be so relieved when I finished this degree. I was thinking the other day what are peoples thoughts on doing an animation or game design course when I have had such a negative/positive experience with gaming? I love drawing and have always been passionate about design, just thinking what the future looks like for me. Maybe in the future I add onto my degree and pursue research in the education field around the effects of gaming. What ever I do I want to enjoy teaching for awhile before pursuing anymore study.

@Marius Thanks mate for the support, really appreciate it. Days 53 - 57 My journaling has slowed down, I aim to write a post whenever I get the chance. I have had a great week so far. I am really enjoying waking up early and training, it no longer feels like a chore. I just enjoy going and developing my techniques further plus I have noticed a real improvement in fitness levels. I've been on class the last few days, it has been pretty stressful transitioning roles. Working in a school for children which exhibit characteristics of mental health problems can really take its toll on you. Behaviour managing the class is most of the battle and trying to differentiate the Australian curriculum to meet the needs of the children is a battle of its own but ultimately it has its own rewards. I completed a number of tests and an online interview for my teaching degree and it feels great to have them out of the way.

Day 47-52 Really good week. Enjoying training each morning at 6 at my MMA gym, love learning new techniques and trying to perfect them. I finally got my teaching number so I've done two teaching days now and I am really enjoying it as well. My mum and dad are meeting my son for the first time in person after nearly 4 months in lockdown due to COVID this Friday. One thing I do want to get better at is finding time for my study, I need to allocate at least 2 hours of the day where I start working on assignments so I do not become overwhelmed. I might stay at work 2 hours longer or commute to the library for a few hours before going home and then I can focus on spending time with my wife and son. Almost at the 2 month mark, looking forward to what I can achieve in this upcoming month.

Day 46 Sat my numeracy exam today. I'm not entirely sure how I went, I missed a few questions due to time management. Hopefully I've done enough to pass. I have my literacy exam tomorrow, fingers crossed I do well.

42-45 Had a great week. I've signed up to a Muay Thai gym and I training early in the morning before work. Really enjoying myself. I have two exams this weekend, fingers crossed all goes well. I've been eating a lot healthier and my sex life has really improved with my wife over the past week. It almost feels like we are as connected as we were when we were young. I truly believe that gaming had diminished the romantic relationship with my wife, glad to be on track. No teaching number yet hopefully will receive it on Monday. Hope everyone had a great week.

41 Woke up and training at the gym in the morning, felt quite good. Still waiting for my teaching number. I am going to go to a Muay Thai class at 6 in the morning with a work colleague for some higher intensity training. A little bit anxious about being with a new group of people but I know it will be ok once I arrive. I used to train regularly at this gym so if I enjoy myself I might sign back up.

Day 38 - 40 Had a productive 3 days. Managed to have a lovey few days out with my wife and son. Managed to read every morning. Going to dinner tonight with 3 friends to catch up. Have a big week coming up. Calling the defence force to look into my old position and if I can continue it tomorrow. Should finally get my teaching number in the next few days, which will give me 5 days to sit an interview and 3 tests. Also have a numeracy and literacy exam booked in for Saturday and Sunday this week. I will probably be on a class by myself as well so I will need to begin programming lessons. Tomorrow I want to wake up at 5 am again, read then go to the gym. I do need advice. My friends are asking if we would all be keen for a games night at someone's house. I'm torn whether I should go or not, it won't affect me but does that count as breaking my streak? I feel it would be the same as if students ask me to play a game with them at school.

Day 37 Woke up at 5 am today and visited the gym for the first time after lockdown. Really want to make this a constant habit, waking up early and working out makes me feel so much better during the day. Also arrived at work a little bit earlier which allowed me to focus on a bit of study and tasks for the day.

Day 36 Nothing really to journal, fairly average day.

@Ikar Thanks! Yeah I've never really thought of it like that. Sadly I've almost treated friendships as a transaction as of late, that both parties need to put in to benefit. Which I guess is not entirely incorrect, no one wants to be used. But, I think you are right in saying that you don't exactly need to share hobbies to have a meaningful friendship. Nice to finally chat to you Ikar your game quitting streak is very impressive. Keep up the good work. Day 34-35 I have been flat out the last few days, finalising accreditation, professional development and preparing for a teacher interview at the end of the week. Fingers crossed the preparation pays off. Looking forward to getting some structure back around routines. Unfortunately I have had very little free time so I am looking forward to some normality after these next few weeks.

Day 32-33 Visited my wife's family and had a nice relaxing weekend. Helping my mum at the moment with a job application.

Stay strong brother you've got this. I'm sure you'll be back when you are good and ready.

Day 31 Average day, cramming some study in late tonight. I've organised a lot of meetings that I have for next week. My results came in today, they were not the best but I passed everything so I can finally casual teach. I just need my accreditation to be processed, exciting times ahead. It's so funny though that even though I have achieved something I have been trying to achieve for like 4 years you always push the bar further, it's actually insane. I haven't really talked to a lot of my friends that I played games with. I might try reach out and try build those relationships around other hobbies. Hope everyone is doing well.

Day 30 Nice little milestone. Going well, have a lot on at the moment. One thing I want to stop is joining in with people who talk negatively about others or the current situation. I find myself angrier and complaining more when I hang around people that are negative. It is really not me and I need to stop. Venting in the workplace is important especially in a mentally/emotionally taxing workplace. I sometimes think that I join in to fit in socially rather than express how I truly feel. I am aware of what I am doing so hopefully I can build some strategies to combat this.

Day 29 Average day, I have been a bit slack on working out and but my diet is going well.

Day 27/28 Almost at the 30 day mark. I've been back at work the last few days, finally on-site after around 3-4 months of working from home. Really good to see old colleagues in person. I am finding that my communication has really improved over the last few years and I am becoming more and more confident expressing my opinions in a group setting. I have a lot on over the next few days. We are in the process of either selling or renting out our house, I am in talks with a mortgage broker and accountant looking at the different tax implications of selling. I have a major exam coming up in November, it's a literacy and numeracy exam which I will need to score in the top 30% to pass (One of the requirements for teaching in Australia). I also have my teacher interview coming up in the next few days that I need to prepare for. I definitely feel a little bit overwhelmed with everything happening at once, but, also excited to start these new chapters in my life. I know that if I was playing games it would only add to my stress because I would dedicate the majority of my time to that. The other night my in-laws brought up a time that we all played together, it really brought back feelings of nostalgia that made me miss gaming. Looking back the social aspect of gaming is truly remarkable and I think something that continuously draws us in. Hope everyone is doing well and achieving their goals.