James S.

DAY # - 16 Time I woke up: 7:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12am Physical task: Transporting two new cats to our household, sketched for the first time in years. Mental task: Work on a new greeting for my work, Projects: Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Safely got the two new additions to our home without scaring them ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Good but very tough day. My Mom suggested to start sketching again. I brought my sketch pad into work and just doodled whatever. Found myself playing with some new ideas for a greeting at work, trying to make one more personalized. It still needs work. After work we hit the ground running, found out we weren't just visiting the cats. We were going to bring them home. Last time this happened it was a disaster, so I made sure we learn the lessons from the last time. It was a success and for the moment we have peace. Next couple of days my wife and I are going to work on getting our existing cat to warm up to the new arrivals. What I am grateful for today: ~ We did better than I thought with the cats last night ~ I was able to get rest last night ~ My wife didn't stress out ~

DAY # - 15 Time I woke up: 8:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12:45am Physical task: None Mental task: Called my Mom's Projects: Help out my wife to spend time with her sister. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Discovered I am an "empath" ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Good day, resolved emotions from when I was a kid. Lead me to discover I am an Empath. Study about it and it fits a lot of the things that happened to me in the past. Trying not to treat it like every other thing in the past by over analyzing it. Take my time with it and feel it out. I think I came to this conclusion before but I didn't respect it. Too impulsive. It was also a joy to see God move with encouraging my Wife's sister. Good to see she is finally opening up and getting the help she needs. What I am grateful for today: ~ just feeling very blessed =) ~ ~ ~

DAY # - 14 Time I woke up: 8:10am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12am Physical task: None Mental task: none Projects: Switch Sim cards and gave my wife my phone. I switched back to old Windows phone. Attempted again to break the bootloop, no success. Called it quits, just going to buy a new phone in the coming months. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ broke down and prayed ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Work day was overall good, but so much stress with my wife's cell phone acting up again. As a techie at heart, I don't like it when my equipment is not working as it should. Not enough information to help explain how android OS works and I tried every article that looked reliable. Hard for me to let it go, but I have to. This one device is causing way too much heartache. I almost feel like I was releasing myself from prison when I decided to let it go. Thankfully I make enough that I should afford an aftermarket phone again. Thinking what good is quitting games if I don't start tackling some of my problems. So I want to not be distracted and continue to work towards being free from games and learning how to adapt to life. What I am grateful for today: ~ ~ ~ ~

DAY # - 13 Time I woke up: 8:50 am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12:45am Physical task: none Mental task: none Projects: none Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Feeling very lonely last night. I locked myself into watching Flashpoint TV show thru most of the night. Thinking I was self loathing again. No motivation at all to do anything. My wife's smartphone became unstable again just before bed. Very upsetting, since there is no real resource online to help me understand the Android OS better. I am running off of articles where I hope they are telling me the right thing to do. Switched phones with my wife so she will have a stable phone to use. Thinking to myself even if I was playing video games, I still be just as lonely. At least with this situation there is hope I will find a solution. What I am grateful for today: ~ ~ ~ ~

This is a community to help people quit video games and find positive ways to replace it. So you can live your life instead of avoiding it.

DAY # - 12 Time I woke up: 8:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 1:20am Physical task: Some house cleaning and gone shopping Mental task: resolve a bootloop issue with my wife's smart phone, did my best to restore a poor picture of my great uncle and family Projects: looks like we are going to take in 2 more cats. Going to be more of a challenge to manage the household. Looking at an organization project to take inventory of what needs to be done and supply levels. Like to start planning our financials ahead of time so it will take stress on me. Ultimate goal is to put everything on autopay. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Stressful, I can't have my wife's phone down and I won't have time later. Everything was trying to distract me while I was trying to tackle it. At first none of the fixes were working, so I had to think on my feet and look for a plan B and C. I finally got the mods to work and I pushed the modified image into the phone and verified the problem is gone. Then I felt like someone stole my quiet weekend. I was very upset and acted like a spoiled brat. Later on I felt better and I didn't want to get ready for work. Today I feel balanced out, ready to take on some challenges. What I am grateful for today: ~ I struggled soooooo bad to not game, and I am thankful I didn't ~ My Mother in law got a clean bill of health despite all the driving around ~ That I am feeling better today ~

DAY # - 10 and 11 Time I woke up: skip Time I went to sleep yesterday: skip Physical task: Prep up for social event after church, went to church, social event, trip to urgent care and ER for my Mother in law Mental task: Prep work to find a solution to bootloop android phone Projects: Fix my wife's android phone Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ first time getting out officially and socializing outside ~ manage my wife and myself in terms tag teaming to watch over my mother in law ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Saturday was a good day. Sunday was a battlefield one thing after another going wrong. We had some successes, but a day of serious challenges What I am grateful for today: ~ My mother in law has good bill of health, no heart problems ~ We did our best to handle the challenges, and by the grace of God we got thru it ~ ~

DAY # - 9 Time I woke up: 8:40 am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12:30 am Physical task: Grocery shopping, fellowship with mother in law Mental task: had fun on the forums. return to studies on Christianity Projects: Unlearning key parts of Reformed faith since I think I abused it. Using the Apostles Creed to be a starting point to rebuild my faith. Spending time on God the Father Almighty, an area I never really sat down and studied before. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Got out of the house and had diner and fellowship with family ~ grocery shopping done ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Overall it was a very good day, even though it started poorly. I was stretched with having a headache thru half the day, but by the grace of God my wife and I got out of the house. I have direction again. What I am grateful for today: ~ persevering despite my headache ~ BBQ diner that was unexpected ? ~ Planning for some fun on Sunday ~ having direction again

Hey Rohan! Dude I am so proud of you! So young and you are seeking help. Just know it is a process and it will take time to conqueror the addiction. One day at a time!

Welcome! It is not easy to say "I need help". That is a brave first step on the journey of recovering your life from gaming! Arizona in the house! In the valley or up north? West PHX here!

Dude I can so relate. 11 years ago I had to remove my computer to face off with my demons. Later I put it at my friends house and played sparsely. Even now I feel cursed because I am technical minded and computers are my thing. Yet they are the gateway to escaping reality, abusing technology to get what I want. Sometimes I feel like I need to unlearn and let go of technology, yet I can't because I pay my bills by being a troubleshooter. I had to dump Windows OS because it is like a gateway drug to play games. Just being in the Windows environment stirs in me to kick back and play games. I been toying with other OSs, but I finally switched 100% Linux. I did game with it a bit but it doesn't stir me like Windows does. You are not alone bud and do whatever you have to do for yourself. Do let it make a slave out of you.

Hey James! I tried to answer your question almost like 3-4 times earlier today, but it felt like I was just making excuses. I will carve out an hour on Monday to put something together, even it is me just goofing around to help break the ice with recording. Thanks for checking in on me. ?

DAY # - 8 Time I woke up: 8:40pm Time I went to sleep yesterday: 1am Physical task: None Mental task: None Projects: None Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ made streamed potato diner with my wife ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Rough day, between struggles with self loathing. Working thru my emotional problems. Boredom level was very high and I was getting the itch. Caught myself twice visualizing of playing my games. Nothing had any joy to it other than food. Thinking of just trying to get to bed earlier and see about recovering the mornings more. I just feel so brain dead at night after work What I am grateful for today: ~ I survived another day ~ ~ ~

DAY # - 7 Time I woke up: 8:30am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 11:30pm Physical task: Attempted to play guitar, but hindered by sore fingertips Mental task: none Projects: attempt to record audio, but shut it down as fast as I started Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ made it thru the day without playing games ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: First real bad day I had since starting this journey. Found out this morning I was self loathing over some mishandling of the finances. Normally when I self loath I slam deep into gaming. I am amazed I didn't. What I am grateful for today: ~ That I didn't game despite my problem ~ I made it home safely from work ~ ~

DAY # - 6 Time I woke up: 8:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 11pm Physical task: pulled out the guitar and attempted to learn a soothing song Mental task: nothing really Projects: Bedroom needs to be reorganized, waiting for the best opportunity to knock it out. Lot of heavy lifting. Like to do small 5 minute recording to break the ice with recording myself, thinking talking about things I am working on or something Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Took care of my wife with her headache ~ attempted to play some music for her, sorta successful ~ went to bed at a good hour ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Not bad for a first day back to work. Pretty amazed I pulled out the guitar, but my wife's situation was the inspiration to do so. What I am grateful for today: ~ My wife is doing better ~ avoid a problem taking in too many cats ~ ~

DAY # - 5 Time I woke up: 10-11am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 1am Physical task: Cleaned the dishes, cleaned out the microwave, picked up my nephew from school. Mental task: More studying of the scriptures, set up twitter account to get a news feed away from facebook, Projects: testing using recording equipment and thumb around with my guitar, but I didn't make any real progress. Kinda zombie mindset for a part of the day. planning to redo the bedroom, but we didn't make any progress on it Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Cleaned up the kitchen, a majority of it. ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Second day of being on my own time, I felt very proud for the progress on Sunday. Yet later one I just felt zombified. I finally let my hands tell me what to do, and knocked out 3/4 of the kitchen cleaning. I was a little disappointed I never played with recording equipment at all. Positive side I relearned a few biblical concepts. What I am grateful for today: ~ Going thru my first weekend without gaming ~ I learned a few things ~ despite how I felt, in the end I was able to be productive. ~

DAY # - 4 Time I woke up: 10am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12:30ish Physical task: reorganized my desk and work area at home, cleaned the tub and bathroom, cleaned the cat's litter box, cleaned the car, remove trash Mental task: Socialized with my wife's family, started to read the scriptures and pondered on them, posted on the forums to help someone and to ask for help Projects: I felt like with the way my main computer and desk are set up I won't be able to do anything productive with them. My hands got busy and now I am at peace with how it is set up. Ultimately the goal is to make my workstation a place to create content, research things, and to do administrative tasks like doing the bills. My guitar is out of the case and on the stand. I plan today to tune it up and play some. My hands just found all sorts of things to do. Knocked out a lot of the house work that I been procrastinating on. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ survived my first day with no work and I thrived without gaming ~ I discovered it is VERY important for me to recognize when I am emotionally drained and to rest. Otherwise I am very vulnerable to fall into my mindless habits. ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: Day I was fearing became a great success! I thank my God for giving me a strength and fortitude to get some important things done. Twice I felted the mind set to turn to games, but thankfully I caught myself before they became actions. My food cravings have increased, which was predicted by Cam. Take it one day at a time. What I am grateful for today: ~ Survive my first full day without work to distract me for a majority of the day ~ Slowly making progress of relearning my faith after all the pain I been thru ~ I am grateful for the huge success and hard work I did that I stand on today. ~

DAY # - 3 Time I woke up: 7:45am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 11pm Physical task: None Mental task: None Projects: None Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Went to bed early without falling into temptation ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: I was afraid of what I was up against the next two days. I haven't found a real solution to how mentally exhausted I am. I wanted to dabble with my guitar, but I didn't have the strength to do so. What I am grateful for today: ~ Even though I watched TV shows, I am glad I didn't fall into my old habits. ~ I went to bed early for once. ~ ~  Over and out!

Back when I attempted to break free from games. I didn't have half of the information as I do now. I didn't realize I was facing off with my brain wired to seek only games and numb to other things around me. I wanted to be that person who enjoys the small stuff, doing basic chores, prep up for the work week. cook my own crazy concoctions. I would and have 0% motivation. I would keep myself busy with what I am good at, tech projects but you can only do them for so long. This time now I know my enemy more, I am going to be more intentional.

DAY # - 2 Time I woke up: 8:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12am Physical task: None Mental task: none Projects: Removed game from my phone, uninstall Steam, and removed epsxe from my computer. Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ remove all games on my systems ~ Put away my USB game controller ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: uneventful, on my laptop watching Hulu and Youtube. I hate how I come home and I am just so emotionally drained, yet I can't get myself to rest decently enough to rebound. I barely got the cleaning project done. I been eye balling my guitar and my study bible. My wife and mother in law love the little things I do on the guitar. Thinking of recording it. I been wanting to teach a class on intro into orthodox Christianity but I can't get myself in front of my cell phone camera to do it. I am a little scared, I have two days off and it feels like they will be a war zone. Gaming like breathing, I don't think. I start and I go, but now I have 48 hours of not falling into that trap. What I am grateful for today: ~ prayed this morning ~ working thru my emotions from a call from work ~ that I am taking this seriously ~

DAY # - 1 Time I woke up: 8:40am Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12pm Physical task: attempted to go to the gym, it didn't work out Mental task: Mental rest after work, I got caught up watching the Blaze with my wife. Projects: Tried to troubleshoot a problem with Kubuntu and Dell laptop broadcom drivers. No success Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ Signed up for gamequitters ~ watched Cam videos to get insight into my problem ~ Got to bed earlier ~ finally refilled the humidifier for my acoustic guitar before it drys out ~ Summary of Day #: I realize I am a mess. After work I am very vulnerable due to mental exhaustion. I really need to take a short nap after work, otherwise I gravitate to my normal gaming. I put my guitar in the way of my desk, and sticked to my laptop. Laptop is useless for gaming, later I realized I could put my gamer headphones on and listen to some music. Projects I need to do. I need to purge all games from my desktop, removing Steam and epsxe. My usb game controller, I will need to wrap it up and put it away. Out of sight out of mind.

My daily walk, one step at a time. Template I plan to use. DAY # - Time I woke up: Time I went to sleep yesterday: Physical task: Mental task: Projects: Miscellaneous accomplishments: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Summary of Day #: What I am grateful for today: ~ ~ ~ ~ Over and out!

Hello all, I am amazed I am doing this. I need to be here. I fought addiction before, but this one is like trying to point the gun at an old friend. It is so hard to say I am addicted, but I know I am. When I was younger it was easier since all I had to do is make everyone happy at work and pay the bills. People leave me alone and I can be left in my own world. By God's grace he pulled me out of the gutter I put myself in, and I am blessed with my lovely wife. I had to learn how to balance my responsibilities and my 'down' time. Make everyone happy and I can be left alone. Now I am approaching 40 and I just can't see myself keep going like this. Never getting enough sleep, always feeling like I been ran over. I tried to quit gaming before. About the longest I went was 30 days, kept myself busy doing tech work. Eventually I get so bored that I try one small game, then it opens the door to needing to play something bigger. Much like a gateway drug. I am gearing up for another attempt, but I want to do my research. I really like what Cam and this community has done here. So I figured I join up before I wage war and get connected. God knows I will need help. My name is James and thanks for having me here. I hope to learn and find a way to finally break free from my addiction.